Disclaimer- See first chapter.
Kiss
Chapter II- I Wish I Never Met You (All of That)
Alright. So, we've gotten past the fact I love him, and the fact that he doesn't, but what do you do when you think he really does like you? I mean, seriously, I was resigned to the fact that he didn't care, and I didn't care back (or at least publicly) then he goes and flirts with me. Yes, the amazing, gorgeous Head Boy flirts with little, old dumpy Lily Evans. Talk about mixed messages. I know he's always liked me to some extent, but to the point when it comes to flirting? Blasphemy.
But now I'm confused. And completely, brilliantly fucked. Because I promised myself that I would forget about him. Though…one little kiss won't hurt, will it? Just one itty, bitty ickle kiss just to see. Just to see if he's really all that great. Maybe then my mind will let it go. Though it never really does that.
But you could always try, right?
Lily grinned. She fingered her quill, thinking of what else she could lament about in her journal, but found she had no idea. When you ignored the James Potter Situation (JPS) things were pretty well off for the young girl.
She ran a trembling hand over her loose denim bell-bottoms, fingering a slash in one knee absent-mindedly, before resting her shaking fingers across her lap. She looked a lot better then before, with her frizzy mane swept up into a high pigtail, her eyes bright and well rested, a ready smile spread across her face and a neat mauve long-sleeved top stretched over her curvaceous chest. She skimmed through the text that lay across her lap, trying to absorb some of the problematical content.
It was difficult. It seemed like the words flew over her head, and she heaved a chagrined sigh as she attempted to comprehend what she was reading for the final time. It didn't work. Finally Lily began to pack her bag, sorting through the many piles of scribbled on parchment, extensive notes, heavy textbooks and meticulous diagrams while she waited for Elladora to finish talking with a raven-haired, green-eyed girl, who was gesturing around herself frantically.
Finally, Elladora nodded and walked over to Lily, a frown marring her usually pleasant appearance. Her lean, stick-like legs stuck out from under her pleated plaid kilt and her vivid crimson v-necked sweater was a size too big. Her long, unkempt hair was pulled into a hasty plait on the side of her head. Her best-friend had really bad fashion sense.
"Susie keeps saying that she has no idea where Robbie is," Elladora grumbled when she reached Lily, her huge, round eyes gleaming furiously.
Susie was Robert's younger sister, a rather conceited fifth-year Ravenclaw. She matched Robert in looks, sharing his sharp features, narrow face and sun-kissed skin. Instead of his reddish-brown hair she had black tresses, from their mother's side of the family, and olive-green eyes that glimmered with intelligence and often pomposity instead of dull blue eyes that held a menacing tone to them.
Lily shrugged, feeling her muscles tense as she wondered about what her boyfriend was doing. "Maybe he's somewhere outside, playing Quidditch or something."
Elladora nodded, twisting a strand of hair around her finger thoughtfully. "Would you like to go check? I've finished all the work for the week yesterday."
Lily attempted to cock an eyebrow but failed miserably, just managing to make Elladora's brows shoot up in confusion at the face Lily had made. "You finished all your work? On time?"
Elladora looked away from her friend's accusing look, focusing somewhere beyond Lily's left ear. "Some of it…"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine, you can come to look around. But don't come running to me when you need someone to copy off of. I'm definitely not going to let you."
Elladora grinned, revealing two rows of even, glowing teeth. "You're a star, Lils. So- let's go?"
Lily nodded, storing her bag under the wooden, medieval chair she had just evacuated, for her to come and pick up later. She cast Elladora a curious look as her friend struggled to release a thick bunch of locks that were wound around a chunky ring. Finally she tore them away, wincing as she did so and brushed herself off, grinning as if nothing had happened.
"So, are we going or what?"
.x.
"It is so bloody cold!" Lily shrieked. Her arms were wrapped around her shoulders protectively, her teeth chattering and her lips rapidly turning an unattractive shade of blue. The wind bit viciously at the two girls, encircling them with its cold, deathly kiss.
Elladora looked equally frozen, but appeared to be saving her breath and continued to trudge along the beaten path that led to the Quidditch Pitch. Her cheeks were flushed a deep rouge and goose bumps decorated her bare legs.
Out of nowhere, a small drizzle started to pour, slowly at first, but quickly gaining strength. A rumble of thunder could be heard if you strained your ears. Fat raindrops obscured their view, and the harsh rain swept through the two, dampening their clothing, soaking their hair and ruining their dispositions.
Lily squinted into the darkness, trying to conceive if there was anyone on the pitch through the thick rainfall, and felt an overpowering rush of glee when she noticed one particularly fast blur, zooming about the field. It had to be Robbie. He hadn't been cheating on her. Relief filled her, and she broke out into a run, eager to embrace his solid warmth.
Elladora made a small noise of annoyance and followed her, though a bit apprehensively, her long legs making it much easier for her to catch up. Finally, they reached the outskirts of the pitch, and impatient to complete their race, they jogged the last few metres and stood inside the field, eyes as wide a dinner plates.
The figure on the broom, not noticing his new spectators, continued diving until he could feel the long strands of grass brush against his face and then swoop up, barely missing a near death. His dark hair was plastered to his face, and from their close proximity, the girls could see he was only clothed in tight Quidditch trousers and a loose red tee-shirt that now stuck to his muscled chest like a second skin.
"Robbie!" Lily cried out, stumbling over herself to reach him. Her shoes made prints in the muddy grass, staining the hems of her jeans.
The flier turned to look over, shocked. Identical dark hazel eyes widened in surprise and the boy had to narrowly jerk his broom in another direction to miss hitting Lily.
Elladora, from far off in the left corner, still standing still in her place, buried her head in her hands, cringing in pity for the boy. This was going to get ugly. Silently, she backed out, the rough stone pole she had been leaning on scraping against the thin material of her sweater. She vanished into the cold weather, her footsteps barely audible against the rush of the wind.
"Evans?" He questioned from his place on the ground, where he had crash-landed. His golden eyes squinted up at her incensed figure, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Potter." Lily growled. Her eyes were only two narrowed, jade slits. "Do you know where Robbie is?"
James Potter shook his head, attempting to discern what the hell had just happened. "I saw him with Elisabeth Walker earlier, not sure where they went off to though."
Lily shut her eyes in pain. So this was how it felt to be used, dumped and chucked into the rubbish bin. Her knees felt weak and she let herself collapse on the wet ground, breathing hard.
"Bloody hell Lily, what in fuck's sake is wrong?" James' eyes glittered with alarm, and he quickly scooted closer to her, encircling her shoulders with a tentative arm.
"That bastard. He's fucking cheating on me!" Lily screamed softly, letting herself lean on James for support. He smelt delicious, like warm, just right cocoa on a cold day with thick undertones of cinnamon. His musky scent wafted up her nose and Lily shuddered, more from pleasure then fear.
James stroked her head softly, running a familiar hand through her damp curls. She froze. What was going on? Lily struggled sluggishly to pull herself from this trance, but it was like wading through thick molasses. She felt his hand caress her cheek, his moist warmth invading her cool skin.
But it felt nice.
It felt really, really nice. It didn't feel wrong when he tilted her chin up, or when her eyelids fluttered to a close. She liked this feeling. She could smell his minty breath against her lips, yet she didn't feel his lips. She wanted to.
Suddenly, he pushed away from her, his hazel eyes wide. Lily strained to wake up, but found that every sense felt as if it were already doused in cold water. Rejection shot through her veins like a drug, waking every nerve and sending a flush of heat to her face.
"Oh fuck," James swore under his breath, struggling to a stand. His eyes were still on her face, still wearing this amazing look in them.
"I-I've got to go," He muttered before bolting off, running in the direction of the castle, his broom slapping against his lower thighs. It felt like the rain poured at an all-time high as he disappeared from Lily's view.
And she sat there, utterly confused, hopeless and in love with James Potter all over again.
.x.
"Mmm…Shh…" Lily moaned from underneath her bulky, fluffy covers. The bright sunlight assaulted her, and she swatted at the invisible beams feebly. She felt horrible.
Elladora on the other hand, looked quite bright and vivacious from her place on her bed, sitting cross-legged and watching Lily try to yank her bed curtains around her bed, but failing to do so miserably. In her pleated black kilt, white buttoned-up blouse, scarlet and bullion striped tie and black robe she looked very different from her usual chaotic style. Elladora yanked a brush through her dishevelled hair a few half-hearted times before she gave up and returned her attention to Lily.
"When'd you come back inside?" She asked, expecting an answer.
"Dunno," was her response from the lump beneath the feathery comforter.
Elladora rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at her friend, even though she couldn't see it. "Fine, I'm going to class though, McGonagall will lynch me if I'm late again. Should I say you're sick?"
An affirmative nod came from the small red blob that peeked out from under the covers. "Could you bring me some Pepper-Up Potion too?" Lily's voice sounded throaty and abrasive, like fingernails being raked against a blackboard repeatedly.
"Sure." Elladora grabbed her bag from underneath a pile of clothing, and was about to leave, when she chucked a bag of chocolate frogs at the bed. "Have fun."
"Thanks Elly."
Elladora didn't even bother to correct her.
.x.
Lily rolled around, feeling as if death sounded like a very tempting offer at the moment. She nibbled on the remains of a mutated chocolate frog quietly, watching the clock hand move lethargically around in a circle. And, to top it all off, she was horribly bored.
She had practiced throwing things across the room and trying to get them into Elladora's clothing trunk, which lay open in a jumbled mess, but found she had really did not have good aim. She had slept. A lot. If there were anything else she could do, she had probably finished it hours ago.
Suddenly, Lily grinned as the door swung open, and a lanky figure walked in, balancing a tray of food in one hand and clutching a flask of a purple, bubbling liquid in the other.
"Finally Elly, I was worried that you got lost somewhere," Lily said, relieved that she wouldn't be all alone. She popped her head out from beneath the blanket, and tried to distinguish her friend better. The lighting was horrible in this place.
"Elly? Wow, Guffy must like you a lot. The last time I called her Dora, she beat me into a bloody pulp. Vicious thing when threatened, she is." A husky, masculine voice issued from the figure, and Lily felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.
That bloody traitor.
"Potter? How the hell did you get up here?" Lily grumbled, trying her hand at burying her face in her pillow. Maybe then she wouldn't have to face him.
"Good job, Evans. You finally caught on." James said dryly, seating himself onto her bed, right alongside her feet. Her feet had never felt that special. "Secret passageway, nothing you need to trouble yourself about."
Lily glared at him, but decided to keep her mouth shut. She realized dimly that she was practically naked under her gauzy nightgown, and her cheeks flushed a deep red when accidentally rested his hand on her thigh.
"Sorry 'bout that," James murmured, smiling softly.
He passed her a slice of toast soaked liberally in honey, and Lily gave it a shifty, suspicious look before accepting it. For him, he grabbed a plate with what appeared to be mashed potatoes, roast beef and a small array of salad arranged on it, and nibbled on it quietly.
Lily just had to talk before it got too awkward. "Why are you here? Being nice, I mean." She shot him a distrustful look, before taking a sip of her goblet of raspberry tea.
He shrugged. "Is it wrong to be nice to you?"
"Well…not really."
"Exactly." He finished his plate quickly after proclaiming that, and swept his dish and utensils onto the second tray, before standing up, about to leave.
"Wait!" Lily had no idea what to say, but for some reason, she wanted to say something.
James turned around to meet her stare, a curious expression in his eyes. "Yeah?"
"Thanks."
And he left, a smile on his face.
.x.
Gosh. Lily hated that bloody girl. Advanced Potions were coming to an end, so most of the potions were in their final stations (Except for some poor Hufflepuff's, whose cauldron was on the verge of exploding), or completed, resulting in many a student milling around, waiting for their comrades to finish with their work. Lily, herself, was stirring her bubbling potion meticulously, but she still couldn't keep herself the perfectly calm that was needed for complex potion-making.
But, of course, that was not entirely her fault. Two seats before her, with a head of bouncy flaxen hair and not much else and a buxom, lean body that promised men their wildest dreams, Elisabeth Walker was attempting to sooth her handsome, dark-haired boyfriend.
The tall, broad-shouldered boy appeared to be arguing with the outgoing Ravenclaw, who was in turn, giving him annoyed, defiant looks. She kept glancing down the row at Robert, who was trying to calm his fizzing cauldron.
Lily nervously plaited a small braid into her hair as she watched the entire thing unfold. Finally, the boy (She was sure he was a Beater on the Ravenclaw team), stomped away, not bothering to finish his potion, and ignoring the professor's furious screeching. Walker, meanwhile, has seductively trailed over to Robert, and wrapped her arms around his neck, and whispered something in his ear.
Lily had never seen her boyfriend move so swiftly.
He quickly untangled himself from Elisabeth's slender arms, shooting her a disgruntled glare, which quite obviously screamed of hidden secrets and futility. Then, he turned to see how much Lily had seen.
Lily looked away, trying to sooth her flailing mind. Inside, the only thing she could hear, feel was the rushing of fury inside of her head. She had eaten up his lies, believed his innocent, handsome pleas, while he meandered around with some ditzy blonde.
Oh, Merlin, now she was even trying to drown herself in teenage self-pity. Her, of all people. Pig-headed Lily Evans, who was one of the strongest, sharpest in Hogwarts, had been fooled by a two-bit idiot with nice hair.
So she turned to look him right in the eye, trying to calm her racing heart and smother rapidly appearing tears, and smiled.
Oh, what she would pay to see his face look like that again.
.x.
"James Potter had poet-eyes." Elladora said, her eyes staring off into the distance as she proclaimed that fact.
Lily shuddered. "Poet-eyed? How weird can you get, Elly?"
Elladora looked at Lily with an annoyed look in her eyes. "It's the way he talks, as if every word was a verse in the grand scheme of a poem. He has those gorgeous, long-lashed eyes of a dreamer."
Lily rolled her eyes, but inwardly she agreed with her friend. James Potter was poet-eyed; those golden-brown, caramel brown eyes that promised so much, and gave even more were poetic.
"Whatever Elly." Lily sighed, falling back onto her bed, her long red hair fanning behind her. She looked up at the canopy of her grand bed, her eyes glazing over at the prospect of James.
It was strange, really, how no matter how much she tried to wipe him away, push him into the depths of her mind, he always came back, he always resurfaced. It was if she were cursed for eternity, cursed to always see those warm eyes and dazzling smiles and lust after them, even though she knew it was wrong. Because she did know it was wrong. It wasn't meant to be like that, wasn't meant to be always so frustrating and confusing.
Elly would say she were in love. That's what Elly always said. No matter how her best friend attempted to appear cold and aloof, the clumsy giantess of a girl was, and always would be, a dreamy-eyed romantic. Lily sometimes wished she could be like her friend, so carefree and wild, with an inane passion for everything she did.
But, instead, Lily was logical and vigilant. Everything in her life had to make sense, had to fit somewhere in the master plan of her life. Sometimes, she was hesitant to admit, she did dream of love and crazy dares, insanity and dancing barefoot in the rain. But nowhere as much as she wanted to.
Right now, all she wanted to happen was to kiss James Potter, to bury herself in his indulgent nature and gorgeous smiles. She wanted to dance with him in the rain at two in the morning, barefoot and laughing madly. At this second in time, all she wanted to do was be with him. Somehow, she just knew that he would take care of the rest.
Now all she had to do was act on that want.
.x.
Elladora was right. James Potter was definitely poet-eyed. Lily watched him silently, her legs swinging mindlessly with the wind as a shiver ran down her back. It was bloody cold that day, but apparently that wouldn't stop the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
The players, all clothed in red sweaters and tight Quidditch trousers, were zooming about in the chilly morning air, fast blurs chasing each other around. In the hub of all the chaos, James could be seen, his dark hair being ruffled by the wind's cold caress. He stole the Quaffle from a copper-haired girl, whose bright indigo eyes betrayed her surprise at his sudden appearance, before catching up to him. Grudgingly, Lily had to admit he was amazing on a broom, flying at speeds she knew she could never accomplish, even if she had overcome her phobia of heights, and using instincts a hawk would envy.
Sitting there, bundled up in the biggest sweater she possessed, a bobble-topped rainbow hat and knobbly gloves that her mum had knitted her last Christmas; Lily was rather unremarkable and lumpy-looking. Burying herself deeper in the navy sweater she had borrowed from her father and never returned, Lily watched James almost commit suicide with wide eyes, her breath caught in her throat.
He merely raised himself effortlessly from the steep dive and continued the game, grinning impishly at the shocked faces of his team-mates. Bloody wanker, Lily swore silently, glowering at him for scaring her to such extents. She was angry at herself as well for caring so much, but she had the oddest thought that maybe she should care about him more. It was rather exhilarating.
From the corner of her teary eyes, Lily noticed a lean girl with the longest hair she had ever seen seat herself gracefully near the redhead, calmly watching the game. Instantly, Lily felt self-consciousness fog up her mind and she looked down at her lap, uncomfortably shifting in her seat.
The girl was amazingly beautiful, her long limbs much alike to Elladora's, yet they were more toned and muscular, less bony and gangly. Her face was classically built, Lily noted, her cheekbones were high and defined, her skin flawless and tanned, and her nose tiny and pert. Her lips were cupid-bowed and full, a reddish-orange gloss smeared over them. Her electric-black hair formed a puddle behind her, the silky, abnormally straight locks reaching to below her curved bottom.
Lily looked away when the girl noticed her ogling, blushing from both embarrassment and the cold. But, silently, she was amazed. All the girl was wearing was a soft cashmere cerulean v-necked sweater and tan slacks. Nothing else.
The girl crossed her legs and grinned at Lily, flashing a slight glance of her glowing white teeth. "Hello, there. My name is Kali Negrescu."
Silently, Lily sounded that out in her head. "Hi, I'm Lily Evans."
Kali nodded, her hooded eyes sending shivers down Lily's spine. They were the darkest colour of black she had ever seen, and were only rivalled by Kali's hair.
Lily attempted to spark a conversation, curious about the dark beauty. "Negrescu? That's an interesting surname, where're you from?"
Kali grinned frostily. "Romania, I was born there. I am a Ravenclaw, sixth year. You may know me as a Prefect. Perhaps you have heard of my distant cousin, Severus Snape, he is in Slytherin?"
"Yeah. He's brilliant at Potions; he's my partner in that class." Lily didn't mention that the professor had paired her with the sour-faced boy, and she otherwise wouldn't have touched him with a ten-foot pole.
"I have heard of my cousin's talents with a cauldron. Who is that boy?" Kali pointed at the swarm of Gryffindors, who were still practicing viciously.
Lily squinted up into the clouds, and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she realized the one Kali was pointing at was James, who was laughing rowdily and trying light the end of Sirius's broom on fire. "Erm, he's Potter. James Potter. Quidditch Captain."
A spark was discovered in Kali's eyes as she observed James through critical eyes, until she deemed him fit. "He is very attractive. I would much enjoy meeting him."
Lily froze. Glumly, she heard herself offer to introduce the two. This was it. The end was near. James would never, in a million years, look her way with Kali around. Beautiful Kali with her perfect eloquence and intense eyes was someone Lily wished she could be with all her heart, but she knew that was not her.
She chuckled nervously, running a cold hand through her tangled curls. "I'm not sure he's very fond of me though, I'm not the best person to introduce the two of you."
"Nonsense," Kali chuckled, her face lighting up in humour, "I am sure the both of you are close confidants."
Lily wanted so desperately to scream in her lovely, striking face. Was this girl honestly blind to all emotions and feelings? Was Lily that good at hiding her feelings, or was Kali simply ignoring the details?
"Not quite." Lily murmured, ducking her head down, so that the only thing she could see was the rough material of her trousers.
She felt blinded by this goddess-like creature. Everything about Kali glowed like a white, shining beacon in the darkness. What she would do to be like her…
"Hey! Lily!"
Lily looked up, eyes wide.
A dark-haired girl with faded blue eyes was hovering before her, smiling. Lily noted nonchalantly that the (Most likely third-year) girl was missing quite a few of her teeth, ruining an otherwise effective smile.
"Yes…?"
The girl rolled her circular, bulging eyes. "James Potter-," A dreamy sigh was inserted here, "-wants to talk to you, outside the changing rooms."
"Erm, thanks, I think?" Lily slowly stood up, wincing as her bones creaked.
"No problem." The girl flew off, her long brunette tresses trailing behind her. She had comforting eyes, the sort that weren't too passionate, yet not too watery and washed out.
"Not friends?" Kali mocked, a dark, arched brow raised perfectly, making Lily very jealous of her ability to manoeuvre her eyebrows successfully.
Lily shrugged. "Well, we do talk. He probably just wants to copy my Charms homework though, so don't get your hopes up."
Kali laughed. Gosh, even her laugh was perfect. It was soft and twinkling, her eyes glimmered with humour as she did so. "May I join you?"
Lily fidgeted with her coat zipper. "Erm, yeah, sure, I guess." What she really wanted so say was, 'NO! He. Is. Mine. Back off, or I swear you'll wake up one morning with all your hair sheared off, a thick lathering of pimples marring that flawless complexion and a sudden lose of that exquisite voice.'
But, somehow, Lily felt that sentimental thought was better left alone. She laced her shoelaces slowly, tugging them to make sure they were tight, while she waited for Kali to straighten her spotless clothing out. She counted to ten steadily before she brushed past her, not waiting for the girl. Kali quickly caught up though, her long legs diminishing the distance between the two promptly. She looked remarkably flawless and serene in the frosty weather, not even shivering slightly.
Lily quickened her pace, trying to outrace her companion. She felt jealousy swell inside of her, and she responded to the call eagerly. Kali quickly caught up, sending Lily an odd look. By the time the two had reached the bottom of the stairs, Lily was flat-out running. The sight was actually quite amusing, the small red-haired girl who was dressed in bulky clothing waddling away from the much taller beauty, who wore a puzzled expression on her face.
Lily quickly stripped off her coat as she ran smack into the changing room door. Without pausing to consider why James wasn't perhaps waiting outside for her, she burst inside the smoggy, humid room, trying to catch her breath.
Inside, the entire male population of the Gryffindor Quidditch team looked up, boggling at the knobbly little red topped bundle that had appeared out of nowhere. Instantly following her abrupt entrance, Lily remembered exactly why girls weren't allowed in this specific place. But she didn't particularly care, nor bother to correct her mistake.
James Potter wearing nothing but a towel usually did that to a woman.
-x-
You. People. Are. Insane. That many bloody reviews!
Meh, I'm not very in love with the ending, but that'll have to do. I had to update, especially after I realized how many people took the time to review. Even though I have a load of Geography homework staring at me evilly from my desk corner.
For updates on the story fort, look me up on livejournal. I've finally gotten one! I'll post my review responses there, not to mention explanations and such. It's msdelonge, for those curious parties. Review responses will be posted up there later today. Hopefully.
Hugs,
Ria.
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