Disclaimer: Nope, my deal broke through and I am not the owner of Saiyuki and all that entails. Oh well, better luck next time...
A/N: This is the chapter that contains the quote from the RHCP song. Try and find it. Or don't, it's up to you. But this is a really adorable chapter in which all evil Hakkai will be wiped from your memory.
Chapter three:
I was sitting in my bed, the tears flowing nonstop. I brought my hands up to my face to try to stem some of them, but it wasn't working. That dream had rattled my soul, and I didn't expect to regain my composure for a while. All I could hear was the steady flow of oxygen rushing in and out of my body, the blood pulsing in my ears. The room had suddenly gone black, even though I was sleeping under the window and it was a near full moon out. My whole core tingled, and all of my limbs may as well have been nonexistent. But all of the abnormal sensations in my body stopped when I felt a gentle hand rest on my bare back.
My vision was the last to return, but when it did, I turned my head and saw Hakkai standing over me, his face contorted in worry. His presence was not cold, as it was in my dream, quite the opposite, it was warm and caring. The emotional residue from my dream made me move away from him in horror, which caused him only more worry. He had hurt me in my dream, and I stared at him in terror. The tears dripping down my face was not helping to assuage his fears, but I couldn't help that. At that moment all I felt toward him was fear, and anger, blinding rage that I told myself was only due to the dream, it had nothing to do with reality.
"Gojyo, what happened? Did you have a bad dream?" Hakkai asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I tried to steady my breathing, counting to myself to calm the inexplicable anger I felt.
Then all I felt was guilt. I couldn't believe I was punishing my friend for something my dream had done to me. I relaxed and moved back to the middle of the bed, the tears still flowing freely. I tried to talk, but all that came out was bubbling noises.
"Don't worry, it's okay now," he said with a confused and concerned look directed fully at me. I took a deep cleansing breath and tried again.
"I can't believe it," I mumbled, "I can't believe it."
"What?" He asked, "what can't you believe?"
"I can't believe I would make you so mean," I stared directly in his face to see his reaction. It was more confusion than concern, but the fact that there was still concern lightened my heart. The dream Hakkai was still imprinted on my mind, and I superimposed its character on everything else, namely the real Hakkai.
"What did I do in your dream?" He asked softly.
"You..." I started to cry harder at just the thought, my mind was almost over it, but my body was not obeying. I started to tremble lightly, and all curiosity in Hakkai about my dream faded, replaced by pure and unadulterated worry. He'd never seen me like this, hell, I'd never seen me like this.
"It's okay, if you don't want to say..."
"No... you were mean." In that moment I regained a little courage, and felt the will to continue. "You left me, you teased me. You called me a 'filthy half-breed.'"
His eyes widened in shock. What was going through his mind I could only guess, and at that moment, I didn't want to. I exhaled and looked down at my bed.
"Gojyo, I'm sorry," he said.
I looked up at him in amazement. Did he think it was his fault? That maybe somehow he had hurt me in ways he didn't know? I started to shake my head from side to side, very slowly, my gaze never leaving his.
"This isn't your fault," I said, still unsure that Hakkai had actually apologized for something he had no control over. The tears had relinquished to a steady trickle, and the shaking in my body had stopped altogether. But it wasn't good enough for Hakkai, he had to help me through this. Which is why I wasn't surprised at what he did next, nor did I try to stop it. He crawled on my bed, gently, so as to not unbalance me, and then pulled my head down to rest on his chest. He placed his chin on my head and almost unnoticeably started to rock back and forth. I felt safe in his embrace, though a couple of minutes before that I would have been terrified that he was going to stick a knife in my back.
"Gojyo," he started, "I would never betray you."
I absolutely fell apart after that. My body gave up and fell completely into his embrace, and the tears found their second wind. I curled up in the fetal position and wished only that sleep would come again, and with it bring a peaceful dream. After just minutes of this rocking I was sure I was not going to get back to sleep, and relented to only be held in his arms.
Safe in your hand.
A/N: Awww... See I promised Hakkai would be redeemed. And I lied. There are now two lines of Savior in this fic, not including the title. Please review. And my beta said that this would be a good time to take Gojyo's and Hakkai's relationship farther, which I could do, but tell me what you think.