Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc.

Kiss

Chapter VIII- Just Like A Fairytale

Lily found him outside on the Quidditch pitch, mounted on his broom and spinning around frantically in the air, creating loop-de-loops and other tricks that made her heart hammer against her ribcage painfully. She stood there for a few minutes, face being whipped at with her fiery-red locks and her eyes wide as she watched him. It was peaceful, almost comforting, knowing that he was there, solid and familiar.

The diary entry ran inside of her head, the words that were written with a sharp, tiny scribble that covered the page. It wasn't right, that she had found out that he still cared for her by reading his private records. Maybe it wouldn't work, trust was important in relationships and theirs was obviously lacking it.

No, Evans, don't change your mind again. You love him, he loves you, stop making it so bloody complicated. She nervously ferreted around in her denim pocket, finally pulling out a small silver charm and scratching at the surface idly. She tossed it up and down for another minute, catching it smoothly in the palm of her hand.

She sighed again, shifting from one foot to another, squinting at the rapidly diving James. Finally, he tumbled to the ground, laughing to himself as the exhilaration from flying at such high speeds downward settled in. Lily bit back a smile. She could still faintly remember the first - and last - time she went on a rollercoaster at the local spring fair.

The speeds she had hurtled down at the ground at, the cool metal that she had gripped with all her might, her scream echoing and combining with others. It was a faint memory, but one that brought back fondness and laughter.

'Hi James,' she finally spoke up, taking a few tentative steps in his direction.

He picked himself up on his elbows, looking at her with a slightly mistrustful look in his eyes, 'Lily. How are you?'

'I'm alright. You?' She offered, not meeting his gaze.

'Pretty dandy. So…' The awkward silence seemed familiar.

Lily finally said what had been nagging her mind for a while. 'We really need to talk, James.'

'I know.'

Falling to her knees in front of him, her eyes were soulful and needy, desperate. She needed him, it was inevitable, and she needed to kiss him and love his like it was the only thing left. Because it was. It was the only option left; either leave him alone and never talk to him again or become something other than this confusing whirlwind of angst and confusion.

'I want to know why you said you didn't love me,' she finally said, finding his cold hands and holding onto them so desperately that it pained her.

He looked away. 'I can't explain it, Lily. It's not easy, it's one of the most complicated things that I've ever felt. Please, don't pressure me into giving you an answer.'

'I need you, James. Stop doing this to me.' She admitted, gritting her teeth to dull the ache.

His eyes flashed, he was angrier than she had ever seen him before. 'You're complaining? You've played me, bemused me, made me feel like dirt because I thought that I had done something wrong! I can't deal with the constant drama of being around you, I really can't!'

Tears were raining from her eyes now, she had broken away from him and hidden her face behind two shaking hands. How could he say this? Had she really done that much damage? 'W-what?'

'Lily, I'm sorry. I loved you, I might still do, but… I don't know if we can pull it off.' He spoke earnestly, eyes shining. She didn't know what to say, how to say it.

Thus, she picked herself up, trying to stifle her fury and total failure. 'I love you, I still do. I believe in you, and… I don't know. I really don't know.' She said, before walking away from him. Walking away from what she thought would be the second chance. From what she thought would be her final chance.

Why did things never work the way they were supposed to?

…xx…

Lily found herself in the dungeons, oddly enough, her back leaning against the cold stone and tears slowly making their way down her stinging cheeks. Rejection… he told her he still loved her, but she had ruined it.

She furrowed her brow, squeezing her eyes shut and muttering a prayer under her breath. So this was how heartbreak felt like. With a slow, teasing finger, she traced a small heart into the dust around her, before smashing it with one flip of her wrist.

It didn't make her feel better, but it was oddly soothing. Footsteps broke her hopeless wanderings, and Lily looked up. A teenager, wearing a sullen look on his face, with his hands jammed into his denim pockets and his scuffed army boots attracting dust to finely settling on them, looked at her, smirking.

'Evans.'

'Black.'

'Mind if I sit with you?'

'Yes.'

He sat anyways, stretching his limbs with that masculine grace that only guys like him carried. Flicking a strand of impossibly dark hair out of his expressive grey eyes, he gave her another snarky, slightly attractive smirk. Lily felt tingles run down her spine at that smile, but she hastily looked away and concentrated on a rusted candleholder mounted on the wall.

'James fancies you.' Sirius said, stating the obvious.

'I know, Black.' Lily replied, mindlessly bored out of her skull.

'You broke his heart, he broke yours, it's all fair in love and war, darling,' Sirius said knowledgeably, inching closer to her.

'What would you know about love?' Lily snarled, shoving his away angrily.

There he went again, reminding her of everything that she needed to forget. He was handsome, almost painfully so, but he lacked the tact and intelligence that most human males carried in their genes. No, he was just plain idiotic.

Sirius' eyes were stormy as he looked down at his hands. 'A lot, considering I've never had a steady girlfriend. I'm waiting for someone perfect to show all everything to, though.'

'Who would put up with you on a regular basis, Black?' She snapped, jerking her chin in his direction and looking into those stormy eyes daringly.

Suddenly, almost as if lightening had struck, he had grabbed her face and pressed his lips against hers almost frantically. He clambered over her stunned body, kissing as if every cell inside his body was invested in her. Lily lay still for a moment, submerged in shock, before she remembered what was happening and pushed him away roughly.

'What the hell was that?' She cried, eyes wide from disbelief.

He seemed stunned himself. 'I-I… don't know.' He finally admitted, still looking at her with a dazed look in his eyes.

She couldn't handle this. James, now Sirius, who next? It was driving her mad with only one boy on her mind, but with two? It'd be impossible. She stood up on shaky, half-asleep legs and walked out of the room, not even bidding goodbye. She couldn't do this.

It was asking too much.

..xx..

Elladora Guffy was useful in instances like these. Not always the most reliable and informative, she was always around somewhere and most of all, she listened. Lily, distraught and slightly scared for the forthcoming, found Elladora sprawled on her four-poster bed in the dormitories, flipping through a magazine and humming along with a song.

'Elly?' She asked, voice wavering.

Elladora looked up, mismatched eyes inquisitive. 'Lily? What's wrong?'

Lily walked to Elladora's bed, shaking slightly. God, Elladora's eyes were so bloody unnerving. She knew thinking that was mean, but she really needed stability and comfort at the moment, and it didn't look very possible with Elladora's odd blue and brown eyes.

'James told me he loved me once…'

Elladora's face brightened. 'That's ace, Lily! I thought you fancied him, didn't you?'

'I think I love him,' Lily confessed, shoulders slumped in defeat. 'He told me that he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. Something about the drama that dealing with me brings.'

Her two slender eyebrows shot up, and the sceptical look in her eyes was apparent. 'So, after everything, he can't… trust you? How long have you know about your affections?'

'Pretty long.' Lily said.

'Bullcrap!' Elladora exclaimed, then her hand swung over her mouth and she blushed. 'Sorry, but how the hell does that work? He fancies you and you're head over heels for him, yet you aren't dating?'

'Something like that,' Lily said with a shrug. 'I don't want to mess it up anymore, but nothing works.'

'It's perfect, the both of you,' Elladora mused quietly, 'if the both of you don't get together, the rest of us are doomed.'

Lily scoffed. 'Not everything is like the fairytales you're so in love with, Elly. Things are different in real life. I just wish I could accept that, myself.'

The dirty-blonde shook her head. 'They're never different. After all, fairytales came from somewhere, didn't they?'

'Yeah, from the neurotic minds of lonely, loveless dreamers.' Lily snorted, tucking her legs under herself.

'Then… am I one too?' Elladora said slowly. 'I mean, I've had my heart broken, I wish that certain someone would notice me and I want desperately that charming prince to sweep me off my feet. Am I just another pathetic fantasist, Lily?'

'Oh. Elly, shit, I didn't mean to say it like that!' Lily backtracked, a wince etched in her face.

'Of course you didn't.' Elladora said flatly, playing with a strand of hair and not meeting Lily's eyes.

'I didn't!'

'If you truly regretted it, you'd go and try again.' Her eyes, intimidating as they were, were bright with determination and anger. 'You're such a hypocrite, Lily, you know that? You walk around claiming that everyone is just foolish to believe in true love, but you're completely mad for James Potter! Everyone admires you, girls lose their boyfriends to you, and you still claim that you're ordinary. I'm sick of it. You're as big of a romantic as anyone else is, stop advising others against creating castles in the skies until you stop yourself!'

Lily stared. It hurt, it really did, to hear this coming from her best friend. Somehow, oddly enough, it had struck a chord inside of her. Maybe that wasn't so off the truth as she thought…

'I'm sorry.' She finally whispered.

'I know.' Elladora said. 'Now go make things right, will you?'

'But…' Lily protested.

'He loves you. Nothing else matters right now.'

No one said anything for a tense moment or two, there was nothing left to say. Finally, Lily stirred from her stupor, and slowly stumbled to a stand. Nothing was said, no goodbyes or good lucks broke the silence. And she walked away, her confidence and determination were renewed.

As Lily left the room in search of him, there was one thought that suddenly bothered her.

What girls had lost their boyfriends to her?

…xx…

She wasn't going to screw this up. She couldn't. It was impossible for something to go wrong now, everything had already happened. There was only going up after this. Or, at least, this was what Lily was trying to drill into her mind. It wasn't working, apparently, since she still was completely petrified of what was coming next.

How do you tell the boy that rejected you how much you really care? It was impossible, improbable and completely insane was what she thought. Where was he? She had checked outside, the common room and the kitchens, yet he was still yet to appear. It was definitely making her even more panicky than before.

Somehow, she found herself alone in the corridor, hands balled into fists as she stared at a portrait of an elderly woman in a chair. The woman looked quite disturbed, actually, and kept shooting suspicious looks at Lily.

Meanwhile, Lily had barely noticed. Her ragged breathing broke the silence that normally would dominate the forlorn corridor. Finally, with a soft voice she spoke, more to herself than to anyone.

'I thought it wouldn't matter. I really didn't, God knows, but somehow falling in love with everything he is felt so good and wholesome that I almost forgot for a moment.' She wiped at her face furiously, rubbing her eyes, 'He's different. He's the kind of guy you fall in love with. He's the kind of guy that whisks you off to the castle that you created in the sky on a white stallion. He's perfect.'

Burying her face in her shaking hands, Lily felt her knees weaken and slowly collide with the wall. She let herself slide down, landing on the ground with a barely audible thump. The stress of being 17-years-old was taking it's toll on her.

'I ruined it. I ruined everything that seemed picture-perfect because I didn't want to give up. Elly was right. I'm going to fail at life if I keep this up. Or, maybe, I already have.' She hiccupped a laugh, crying freely now. 'I'm so madly in love with him, but all this stupid self-doubt always gets in the way. Always.'

So deeply wrapped in her private confession, Lily didn't notice the boy with grey eyes that was watching her cry. The heart-stopping, handsome boy looked down at his scuffed boots, obviously in deep though, a pained expression on his face, before he walked away, a decision made.

One minute followed another, Lily cried all the frustration out of her being until she was sitting there calmly, her face a mask of tranquillity. Inside, she was still the furious, lost seventeen-year-old.

'Lily?'

She knew who it was before she looked up. It was something in the quaver of his voice, something in the uncertainty the question held. 'James.'

'You know I'm sorry.' He said from his place a few feet from her corner.

'You always are.'

A dry laugh. 'Never helps, does it?'

She shook her head, looking at him from the periphery of her vision. He looked so handsome, so happy with a tinge of regret. 'Never does, James.'

'Does it help that I'm sincere?' He wondered out loud.

Lily shrugged. 'Not really, but everything helps in the long run.'

'Sirius told me you were here, talking to yourself.'

'Really?' She said, slightly interested but careful to hide it. 'He kissed me once.'

James grinned softly. 'I know. He fancied you. Claims it's over, though. What were you talking about?'

'When?' She said, cautious. Nervous.

'Earlier. You know what I mean.'

She shifted nervously in her place, glancing up at him as he joined her. A strand of messy hair wandered into his eyes, but he didn't brush it away. She liked it in his eyes, made him look more boyish and approachable. Lily pretended to think, tilting her head and glancing around at the ceiling for a moment. She'd tell the truth.

'I was throwing a temper-tantrum about you.'

James had the decency to look surprised, though she suspected Sirius had told him this already. 'Was it good things, I hope?'

Lily gave him a small half-smile. 'Not much, just mainly ranting about what an enormous asshole you are.'

'I deserved that, didn't I?"

'Yeah, you did.'

It felt better now. Nicer. Things weren't so tense anymore, and neither of the two could exactly pinpoint why. It was something that had settling over them, as if the wall between them was slowly breaking. Lily looked up at him from underneath her lashes, breath hitched in her throat.

'I'm sorry too.'

James smiled, a bittersweet, heartbroken type of smile, 'I know.'

'I love you.' The words felt right at the time. They slid off her tongue, suspended in the space between them.

He quirked a smile. 'I know that, too.'

'But…' Lily said, hands shaking as she quickly hid them in her lap. She couldn't show how much it mattered, how much she cared.

'And I think I love you too.' He continued, smiling openly. His hazel eyes danced from under his metal-framed glasses, the beautiful colours brighter and more vivid than before.

Lily took a deep breath before mentioning her deepest worry, 'Is it enough?' She paused, waiting. Hoping. Praying. There was nothing left to do, there was … nothing left except for one word to be uttered from between his lips.

A precarious moment, slowly slipping away from her reach before, 'I think so.'

Somehow, those words felt so much better than anything she had experienced before.

It was another chance.

…xx…

Authors Note: One chapter to go, baby! I know there will be a lot of burning questions about Sirius and his odd little stint and where the hell it came from. All in good time, my loveliest readers, all in good time. I know this chapter wasn't the most moving… but I really liked the simplicity of it's end. Mainly dialogue with a hint of heavy tension.

… okay, here's a question for you guys. Would you fancy an epilogue? This is for the reason that I think the other characters won't have enough closure in the next chapter (which will mainly focus on Lily and James). Plus: A word from Sirius and what the hell's going on with his out-of-the-ordinary behaviour.

Review?