YAH! I got so many pretty reviews blows air kisses crazily Now, some of you have asked for longer chapters so, your wish is my command. Also, please check out my comrade's story called Lily and James Excellent Adventure. Its rated T. Give it a shot! O and Draco's thought process is in bold and Draco is in italics for the thought process scene. Pip-pip!

Now, resuming the story where we left Draco standing in the bath and Hermione laughing uproariously, we, as narrator and reader, find ourselves pondering over what will happen next. I do not know. I am only providing subtitles for their freakish adaptation of the word "life." But anyhow…

Draco gaped and tried his best to save his masculinity by deepening his voice and putting his hands on his hips as if to say, "Back off Babes, it's a free country and I can do what I want!"

Wait. Draco thought. Scratch that last part. Good thinking, Draco. Thanks. All right. Yeah… He decided for more of a knee up on corner of bath, hand resting on knee; chin up in the air kind of determined look. Which was quickly discarded after Hermiones frightened gasp. (She couldn't see "it" before because it was a really tall bathtub wall. Yeah…)

"Draco… you weren't playing with sock puppets, were you?" Draco decided he would discretely sidestep that question with a hearty chuckle and a, "Who, me?"

Unfortunately the "me" came off a little squeaky. Hermione tried to look serious (and failed) and said, "Are you sure?"

"STOP ASKING RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS!" Draco exclaimed, at which time he stamped his foot and sent a wave of water over the side of the tub, along with Jacques and Marie, the sock puppets.

Hermione tweaked at the mouth. Then grinned. Then, erupted in another fit of never-ending laughter.

Draco's eye began to twitch as he watched Hermione collapse on the floor in a heap. Shit! He thought. Now my badass rep will be trashed. Something must be done to stop her from telling the whole school. Hey thought- process!

Draco's thought- process (T/P) enters Draco's head:

"You rang?" Draco thought his thought-process sounded a little sarcastic… Wait. That's a strange sentence.

(T/P rolls eyes)

"Yes, hello. You and me need to conspire as to how to stop Granger from telling the whole school…about this little escapade.

"Hmmm… let me see. Ooh, I have an idea! A marvelous, mystical, crazy idea!"

giggles evilly.

Cough Well what the hell is it!

"What? Oh yes!" Draco and T/P begin to plan Hermiones demise, snickering occasionally and laughing maniacally.

Meanwhile, Hermione stared in confusion at Draco as he snickered and went, " Bua haw haw!" She was disturbed and bewildered. Strange….

T/P slaps Draco across the face. "You idiot! She's looking at you like you're a naked old man in a meat market!"

Draco, offended, says, "How dare you!" And whacks T/P's nose.

Hermione was disturbed even more when Draco started smacking himself in the face and attempted to strangle himself. She was mildly amused until he tried to drown himself in a tub. She reluctantly grabbed his shoulders.

"Don't give anything away!"

"I won't…stupid blighter…"

T/P exits scene

Draco brushed Hermione aside and sat in the tub looking strangely satisfied.

Hermione continued to just stare at him. This was becoming an unfortunate habit.

Draco glared and said in annoyance, "See anything you like, Granger?"

She smirked, "On the contrary, Draco me dearie, you seem to have forgotten, somehow, that you are, how should I put this… lacking clothes," Draco flushed, " without garments," Draco frantically searched for something to cover himself, "naked?"

Hermione felt the slightest twinge of pity for the pale, vulnerable Draco that was now desperately drying to transfigure a (lavender) squishy sponge thingy into clothing. Apparently Transfiguration was not his strong point. Bad for Draco. Good for Hermione…. Bua haw haw, Bua haw haw cough, sputter, cough. ….

"Draco, do you want me to transfigure you a…. little something?" She said innocently, or as innocently as she could manage as an evil, almost inhuman, grin spread across her face. Not very convincing.

Draco raised a suspicious eyebrow. Normally that may have been intimidating, but at the moment, he looked anything but intimidating with a bubbly bunch on the tip of his nose.

"Why?" He glared and looked behind her back to see if she was hiding…something.

Hermione shrugged indifferently, "Well, you seem to be having a little trouble with your wand, NOT THAT WAND!" she said hurriedly as Draco's face took on a bewildered look, "I was just offering, you don't have to bite my head off."

Reluctantly he handed Hermione his wand. She grinned, "I knew you'd come around. Besides, I don't want to see you naked any longer than I have too." To her surprise, Draco looked quite offended.

He watched as she muttered a spell. All the sudden he felt a bit warmer. Hot. Really hot. He glanced fearfully at his outfit and rolled eyes at Hermione. "What the hell? You made me look like a bloody Eskimo!"

Hermione looked extremely agitated. That wasn't supposed to happen. Oh right, that was the wrong spell. Here we go…Bua haw haw… Hey! glares as readers throw walnuts at her for overusing the evil laugh Sigh.

Draco all the sudden felt uncomfortably…tight. He groaned as he noticed he was in a leather overall thing with a low chest. He also had a sailors hat and fake chest hair. All in all, he looked like he would fit in quite well with the Village People (nothing against the Village People or anything. YMCA!).

"Granger, change it now!" He hollered, though Hermione noticed there was a bit of desperation etched in there.

"Ya know what Draco? I do not believe I will. Yes, that sounds quite right. Well, I bid you ado. Ta-ta!" Hermione walks, nay, skips out of the room, leaving Draco fuming.

"Well, Granger. I really didn't want to do this (lie), it was always far from mind (another lie), but desperate times call for desperate measures. You have humiliated me enough, and I am confident in my skill to-

Uhh…Draco? "Yes?" You're talking to yourself. "What?" Draco looks around room to find that Hermione had indeed left. "Right. I knew that." Struts out of room, mustering as much dignity as he could after talking to himself (twice).

What will Draco's brilliant plan of action be against Hermione? Has Hermione become a ruthless, conniving, well…Slytherin? Both of these questions and more will be answered in the next installment of tweedle- deedle- dee what? No! I wanted more of a dun, dun, duhhhh…You know what I mean? okay, dun, duh YEAH! Cough..

SHOCKING REVELATIONS AND UNCERTAINTIES!

BOO! SHUT UP AND GO AWAY! YOUR ALWAYS MESSING WITH MY LIFE! GOSH!