Disclaimer: JKR. Not Mine. Got it? BEWARE THE MARY SUE! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Chapter Three: Hats Off

I should've given myself whiplash straining around so much to see everything. I'd seen the wizard paintings and photos before—the ones that moved—but never so many at one time. It's like a freaking wizard art museum. The sheer velocity of it all was so overwhelming that I almost screamed when I looked up and saw staircases moving. Moving! Harry and his friends had moved up towards the front, but I was a little hesitant to follow. If I didn't get into their "house thingie" I probably wouldn't be seeing much of them anyways. No sense in getting my hopes up, I thought.

As we approached these enormous wooden doors they swung open to reveal this enormous hall. Four long tables filled the hallway with different colored banners hanging over each one. Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, I read them to myself. I kept looking up and saw that the ceiling wasn't even there—like it was the open sky filled with stars that occasionally shot off into the distance. So that's what a night sky is supposed to look like, I thought sarcastically, thinking about the Manhattan skyline. In the city, you can usually see two stars on a clear night. If you're lucky, but one of them is probably an airplane.

I kept walking forward and didn't realize that everyone else had already sat down until I was standing at the front of the hall. All the teachers were sitting at a long wooden table at the head of the hall—each one more odd looking than the next. Especially the dude in black with the hooked nose that looked like a vampire.

"Miss Bradshaw," a voice pulled me out of my stupor. I looked up and saw an older looking woman in a green dress looking down at me. Her hair was dark brown and gray and pulled back in a tight bun. Judging by the harsh look on her face and the way she stared at me through those spectacles I thought she might have been the potion nazi I was so not looking forward to, "I'm Professor McGonagall," she said.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Suddenly, I was painfully aware of how isolated I was standing in front of everybody. I glanced over my shoulder to see what was going on—everyone was whispering and looking up at me. Sort of like those dreams where you're giving a speech in class and look down to realize you're stark naked. Kinda like that.

"I'm the Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts," she continued, "Now, I assume one of your classmates has already told you about the Sorting process." I nodded, "Good. Now, we'll sort the first years before we sort you so why don't you simply stand over here to one side…" she hustled me over to the left side of the table and near the Gryffindors. I could see Harry a ways down smiling and giving me the 'thumbs up' sign. Hermione was mouthing to me "You'll be fine". Ron was completely oblivious to anything going on except trying to fasten his robes. I sighed.

Before I could dwell much longer on my own misery, the doors to the Great Hall swung open and Professor McGonagall swept down the middle of the room with a line of children in black robes quivering behind her. So those are the first years, I thought. McGonagall strode up to what looked like a bar stool at the front that held a dusty, old pointed hat. Adjusting her spectacles, she unrolled the parchment in her hand and cleared her throat.

"Andrews, Jane!"

A little blonde girl came forward. I thought she was going to pass out she was so white. She crawled up into the chair and McGonagall placed the hat on top of the girl's head. I squinted to get a better look at the had—if I didn't know any better it looked like the hat was muttering to itself. Suddenly, the hat reared back and took in a deep breath. Wait a minute—the hat breathed!

"Ravenclaw!" the hat shouted.

My conversation with Harry earlier made sense. The hat goes on the head…it mutters something under its breath…then yells out the house you go into. Then you go and join the other people in your house who cheer as you take your place at the table. Hmmm…seems simple enough. I was so wrapped up in my own brain, as usual, that I had missed all of the first years being placed. McGonagall rolled up the parchment and held up a hand for attention.

"Students, I would like to introduce our newest member to Hogwarts—"

Oh. Sweet. Jesus.

"Miss Regina Bradshaw is joining us from the American Academy of Magic from the United States--"

Come one, come all! For just five Knuts you too can see the amazing Magical Yank! She sings, she dances, she sets cats on fire in Transfiguration—

"—She will be joining our fifth years, but I expect us all to welcome her into Hogwarts—"

How exactly do you get "welcomed" to Hogwarts? Do they have enchanted lockers to be shoved into?

"Miss Bradshaw, if you please," McGonagall motioned for me to take my place on the stool. I fought the urge to close my eyes in panic as she place the hat on my head.

Ah, another Bradshaw…

ACK! Don't do that!

Hmmm…interesting…another difficult placement…

Do you always pry into people's heads? Just do your hat thing and let me eat!

Slytherin seems a good match for you—cunning…resourcefulness…

Are you kidding me! Did you see those guys? I heard that Malfoy kid.

But there are other traits here…loyalty…bravery…integrity…and what's this about an orange goo you keep bringing up?

Don't ask…

Hmm. You seem very torn between the two houses—traits from each…but where to put you...

Can I make a request?

Certainly.

Gryffindor.

And why is that?

Well…my parents were in that house, I think. And I've already met some kids in that house that I haven't completely scared off…and…

Yes?

I think if you put me in the same house as that Malfoy kid I'll be expelled in a week.

Hmm. Fair enough…if you're sure…

Yes.

Quite sure.

Just do it, hat boy!

"Gryffindor!"

A cheer went up from the Gryffindor table as McGonagall lifted my hat and I practically fell out of the chair. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all clapping, but Harry was grinning most of all. He motioned for me to come down to sit with them.

"Congrats, Reggie!" Harry said.

"You took an awfully long time with the had," Hermione said, "What happened?"

"It wanted to put me in another house," I said, reaching for a drumstick that had just materialized out of thin air. I'd reached the point where I realized it was pointless to keep asking questions. I was falling for the tourist syndrome—all I needed now was a map and a camera around my neck. So the food came out of nowhere—that was the least of my worries for that day.

"What was the other house?" Ron asked with his mouth full of potatoes.

"Slytherin," I replied.

All three of them looked at me in shock. I stopped with a fork full of corn halfway to my mouth, "Was that a bad thing?" I said.

"It wanted to put you in Slytherin?" Harry asked. He gave me that familiar look again. It was starting to creep me out.

"It was going on about me having traits for both houses, but I asked to be put in Gryffindor anyways."

Now Ron and Hermione were looking at each other questioningly. They looked back at Harry. I could tell I was out of the loop so I made a production of clearing my throat and tried to salvage what friendship I'd already made, "Look, it probably had to do with some of the trouble I got into back home. I was sneaky…especially when it came to getting back at someone. Nothing serious—just harmless little pranks. But the hat said I was loyal and brave—even though I don't feel it just now, brave I mean—but…" I gulped. You're babbling again, "I just met you guys and thought Gryffindor seemed like a cool enough place to be at so…" I trailed off.

That seemed to relieve some of their tension. They settled back into their chairs and went about eating. Harry reached for a roll as he tried to explain, "The same thing happened to me when I was a first year. I just thought it was a little unusual, is all." He gave me a half smile, "Don't worry about it, though. I'm glad you got in Gryffindor—you seem pretty cool, yourself."

Whew, dodged that bullet. I smiled back at him, half afraid I was practically beaming, "Thanks." The four of us spent the meal talking about classes—where I'd be going, who the teachers were, what the teachers were like…all the things I'd been dying to know since I'd gotten that owl nearly a month ago. It seemed from my class schedule that I'd be in every class with Hermione, Harry, or Ron. The tightness in my chest subsided somewhat when they all offered to help me along until I got settled in. After about an hour, Ron and Hermione got up to leave—something about helping the first years because they were Prefects. Whatever the heck those are. Harry offered to show me to the Gryffindor tower.

"It's a lot different from your home isn't it?" Harry asked as we climbed one of the staircases.

"That's the understatement of the year," I scoffed with a grin.

Harry shrugged, "You'll get used to it. And like we said, we'd all be there to help you when you need it. So will everyone else in Gryffindor."

I thought back on dinner. Several students had come up to introduce themselves and they all seemed nice enough. Lots of questions, though. You'd think they'd never seen an American before. I had been good and kept my cynical nature to myself…I had at least three people who could stand me. I didn't want to press my luck on the first night. First impressions suck like that.

"Here we are," Harry said. I looked up and saw an enormous woman standing in a painting.

"Password?" the painting asked.

"Irite Edraia," Harry replied.

The painting swung open and we stepped inside. The room itself seemed old fashioned in a way. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace and several cushy leather chairs sprawled out over the room. A few large round tables were placed in the corners where several students seemed to be milling around. It was cozy and didn't feel stifling at all—like a giant study or something.

"This is the common room," Harry explained. This is where you'll probably do most of your homework. Sometimes it's nice to just hang out by the fire and talk with friends, too." It seemed like a small smile pulled at him.

I nodded and looked around. There were two winding staircases at the back of the room. "Those go up to the rooms, I assume?"

"Yeah," he replied. He stretched, "Well, it's getting kind of late. You've got Transfiguration first thing tomorrow, right?"

I nodded again. My mind began swimming—either from exhaustion or over-stimulation, I couldn't tell which. "Yeah, first thing."

"Great! How 'bout I meet you down here and we'll catch breakfast in the morning? Sound good?"

"Sure," I said, giving a shrug. Inside, I was fighting the urge to do a happy dance right then and there. I got a friend…I got a friend…I got a friend...hey, hey, hey, hey!

"Okay, see you tomorrow, Reggie!" And with that, Harry turned and headed up the winding staircase to the right.

I couldn't help but stand there almost dumbstruck for a minute. All the events from the past twenty-four hours seemed to be rushing back at me. At first it seemed like the world had been turned upside down—the way things were so backwards over here. Talking hats, invisible horses, food out of air, moving staircases—I was used to magic, but not so concentrated before. Back home, the Academy was magical enough all right, but we had ways of fusing Muggle means with magic. Enchanted lockers that held everything (including fourteen freshmen), in trays that magicked mail instead of sending it by owl…but here it was like anything Muggle was a disease. In America, fusing magic with non-magic was all part of the adjustment process for when you left school and went out into the world—you have to deal with things like mass transportation, bills, and technology. Maybe it was a culture thing—it certainly seemed easier over here to forget there even was a Muggle world somewhere out there.

I sighed as I made my way to the stairwell to climb up to bed. Maybe it had more to do with being raised by Muggles myself. All I knew was that tomorrow was going to be one of the most interesting days of my life.