a/n: plot bunny...darn you p-p-plot bunnies! Won't leave me be. Anyway, thanks to Amy for the email - it was really touching. Really. Also, to the reviewers; you guys make me so happy:D :D :D This story's up to 30 chappies 'cause of all y'all! Sniffle!
RECAP: Rebecca trapped Duke, Kaiba and Joey together with her! What a nefarious perfect plan! Why, you may ask? Well, it's to help them w/ their problems, but she ends up just making it worse...way worse. Poor bishies. LOL
Chapter Thirty: The Dr. Rebecca Show
- Underneath Kaiba Mansion -
The room was square, windowless and routeless. Perfect for a war zone; amongst all the muttering and glaring, Rebecca hummed cheerfully, rummaging out a plastic dark umbrella, rubber balloons, and a grass green chalkboard, before finding what she was looking for: a binder full of worksheets and a pencil. "You guys don't mind if I do my homework, do you," she asked in sing-song voice. Nobody answered her. Not paying attention to me, eh? Well, you wi-ill! Testing, testing, 1,2,3...
Meanwhile Kaiba was cursing his already bad luck: his cell phone was broken and had gotten broken while he'd been running away from those packs of reporters earlier. I can just see it, headlines, now: Famous Trillionaire Gets Himself Stupidly Trapped Inside his Own House. My already ruined reputation will get worse; I really have to get a grip. No more moping around; Ishizu was right. Hm, maybe she's the one who trapped us! No, it doesn't really sound like her, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. Stupid girls don't know how to rewrite a code! He pounded on the control panel.
Joey meanwhile was pacing around in tight little circles. Man, stupid mansions lookin' all da same! Now whattamI supposeda do? I gotta get down to Domino Hall fer the wedding rehearsal! He checked his wrist. 7:33! Mai said it's at eight! 8! 8! "Would ya hurry up an' fix dat thing?" he crabbed at Kaiba. Duke flinched visibly and pressed himself aganist the wall, getting the furthest away. "Stupid super genius...with his stupid house an' his stupid traps..."
"Shut up! I can't concentrate with your pathetic yowling."
" 'Howlin'?' I ain't howlin'-"
"I said, yowling, you deaf dumb mutt."
"Yeah? Well, I'm not howling or yowlin', ya stupid Kaiba-boy!" Trapped in his own traps... jest like when he duels.
"I told you not to call me THAT."
"Why doesn't he like to be called that?" Rebecca questioned. Her left hand was scribbling away on paper but she was looking at Duke
"Who knows," he said listlessly looking lifeless.
"Pegasus calls 'im dat." Joey said with a triumphant smirk. "Right, Kaiba-boy?"
"I was talking about... the other guy...but...Pegasus?" she scanned her notes. "Who's...?"
Pegasus. Ignoring the rest of the clowns, Kaiba worked restlessly. Maybe he did it. Or Noah. Yes, this would be the type of thing he would do! Yes, I bet-
"Big brother?" a tremulous voice rang out. Everybody froze, and looked towards Kaiba.
"Mokuba?" he called out through one wall. "I'm here!"
"What are you doing in there? What's going on?" said the wall.
"Awright!" Joey said, forgetting that he was mad at the kid for calling him an uncle 'twin' to him. Ugh. Gross, but at least he's da ticket outta here! He pumped his fist.
"Get help! Get technicians to rewrite the computer code so we can open this!" Kaiba was saying. Duke was watching Rebecca, who looked smug and satisfied. She's planned this... wonder what and why?
"Mokuba! Did you get that?" There was a murmuring noise of assent and footsteps walking away. Good... my little brother should be on the job right away... Kaiba suppressed a sigh of relief with effort.
WOW... he really trusts his little brother! Rebecca was amazed and impressed and she check-marked a box in her worksheet. Too bad for him!
Meanwhile Mokuba raced up the stairs with usual high enthusiam so his long black hair trailed after him. LBG... Momo to LBG... do you copy? He put on some headphones.
Roger, Momo. Are we live?
Not yet... Mokuba flipped some switches on the switchboard after sitting down on the comfy chair. Okay, in 5, 4, 3, 2... you. Are. Live. Great job. He applauded himself.
Outside, in the big plasma screen TV in downtown Domino Square, the screen lit up.
"Ooh-oh," Mrs. W. helped her daughter to a comfy chair in Domino City Hall and went over to talk with someone else. Serenity pulled out her potato chip bag and started to munch away. She knew that she should be eating healthily, but mmmmm, pickle-flavored, crispy potato chips...
"Hey," said Tèa, who was already there and dressed up conservatively in a pants suit. And looking thin, while I look as big as a walrus, thought Serenity with a blank scowl. "You don't look well."
"Tèa!" said Yugi, who was already there and dressed up in what else? a black shirt and dress pants.
"Er - I mean..." Tèa said, putting one arm behind her head.
"Yes, yes, I know. I look awful!" Serenity sniped, watching TV while Tèa and Yugi looked at each other with sweatdrops on each of their heads at Serenity's unstable temper swings. "You guys can say that I'm fat, you know!" She brusquely chewed her chips as more people wandered in.
"You're not fat," Yugi said nicely.
"Yeah," said Tristan, who wandered over. "In fact, I could beat up Kaiba for you, Serenity. Just name the day." He pumped a fist and Tèa rolled her eyes.
"Tristan! She doesn't need to know, to be reminded that Kaiba abandoned her - "
Serenity burst into tears. Tèa snapped her mouth shut with an "up!"
"Nice going, Tèa!" Tristan said sarcastically, patting the crying girl on the head. Tèa looked like she really felt bad, so Yugi changed the subject.
"Hey, look... isn't that...?" he said, pointing out the big stained-glass window. Even Serenity stopped suddenly and looked putting a chip in her mouth. "On that television?"
"Isn't that... Domino Square?" Tèa peered.
"Yeah, we're right next to it," Tristan said, as Ryou wandered over.
"What's going on, you guys?" he said, holding hands with Ishizu. (A'n: Aw! too cute!) Together, they all watched.
"What're you all doing!" Mai said irritably, crossing her arms over her gray white knit dress. Her eyes looked as stormy as her dress. "Get over here so I can do a head count!"
"What's wrong with her?" Ishizu questioned. Serenity blinked at Mai's tone.
"She's waiting for her fiance, he's late," Ryou said in a whisper (a/n: dble cute! ok, i'll stop) as if the slightest raised voice would make Mai erupt. She definitely looked like she wanted a fight.
"They're showing something on TV," Tristan said, squinting. "It's all static-y now."
"Yeah," said Yugi apologetically to Mai.
"Well, I don't care if they're showing the Rose Bowl! Get over here now!" Mai ushered them all by pushing like as if they were sheep. It irritated Tèa.
"Well, jeez, you don't have to push, just because Joey's not here!" she griped grumpily, letting herself be pushed anyway.
"What! Well, I know he's not here, Tèa! Do you know where he is? If you don't, then stop complaining!" Mai ordered quite meanly. Yugi saw Tèa's hackles rise at being sniped and vituperated at.
"Duke isn't here either," Tristan said, looking around, where Marik and Odion were talking quietly and the vicar. "I thought I saw him in the library, but it turned out to be just a girl."
Tèa saw what Mai was stressing about: her parents had just walked through the door. Ishizu asked Serenity quietly something. She shook her head no and continued to fix her eyes up on the screen. So he's missing, too... Where can Kaiba be?
C'mon, Joe... Tristan thought frowning out the window. You'd better not mess up this time!
"Darling!" Mrs. V, Mai's mother, came over; a strong scent of perfume came over with her. Mr. V beamed.
"Hello, Mother," Mai muttered. I wonder if Joey was trying to talk to them, that's why he was asking where they lived? she thought. "Hi, Daddy." she said with a little more enthusiasm.
"Princess!" Mr. V boomed. His voice made them all jump. He was quite deaf even with a hearing aid, so he had to boom. "Me and your mother were talking, and... we decided to support you, isn't that right, Miriam?"
"You can get married, it's your business," Mrs. V added loftily. "But we still won't pay for the wedding, any of it, so don't ask us!"
"Fine," Mai said through gritted teeth. I expected no less...! But why does it hurt, a little? "Daddy, are you going to give me away?"
"Of..." Mr. V shot a nervous look at his wife, "Of course I will!" Mrs. V glowered. "Right, dear?"
"Hmph!" said Mrs. V, looking disdainfully at Tristan, who was nearest to her. "And... I suppose... these are the wedding guests?" Her eye fell on Serenity, who was staring into space and eating. "Oh-! Isn't that... the girl?" She pointed one long manicured finger at her, accusingly. "The one in the news?"
Mai had to bite down on the fact that Serenity was her maid of honor; it was bad enough that Serenity, with her stomach so fat, had chips crumbling down her dress. "Yes, she's my maid of honor!" she burst out. Okay, maybe I will tell her that...
"Maid of H-honor?"
"Yes... she's my fiance's sister!" Mai went in for the kill; Mrs. V pretended to swoon.
"She's pregnant!"
"Yes, she is on the news," Mrs. W came over protectively. "Who are YOU?"
"I? I am Miriam Valentine! Of Valentine Estates? And you are the girl's mother, I presume?" Mrs. V looked down her nose at Mrs. W's shabby clothes. "Then... you are also that little thug's mother!"
"Dear, please," said Mr. V. "Your blood pressure!"
"Who's she talking about?" Tèa asked Tristan. "Joey?"
"Oh my... dueling family in-laws," said Ryou.
"Good thing our mom and dad are dead, eh?" Marik said. Ishizu shot him a look. "Well, you know what I mean..."
"Don't you dare call my son a thug!" screamed Mrs. W, who had called Joey 'a thug' herself ever since he could walk. But she looked ready to punch Mrs. V's lights out.
"Mom, please!" Serenity called. "Your blood pressure!" The two women were pulled away, Mr. V ushering his wife out.
"Poor Mai," Tèa whispered. "She looks so lost."
"Something must've happened to Joey!" Tristan said. Yugi nodded, agreeing. "I'm gonna go look for him! C'mon, Yugi..."
Meanwhile the three boys and a girl were still trapped. "If I could just get dis vent screen off..." Joey said, prying at it with his fingers. "OW!"
"I think that this room's running out of oxygen," Duke said. To your brain! But he didn't say this aloud - Joey looked pretty PO'ed already.
"I won't have you running around contaminating in my airvent system," Kaiba said nastily. "Just sit still, and Mokuba will get help."
"Yeah? Well, it's already past eight! He shoulda been here 'with help' by now!"
"Shoulda, coulda, woulda," Rebecca said very softly under her breath.
"Are you saying my brother is stupid?"
"No! I'm sayin' yer stupid!" Joey pounded fruitlessly on the screen. "Just like when I told ya about my sista, an' you refused ta believe it!" Now I bet Mokuba's not even gettin' help...
Rebecca chuckled as Kaiba narrowed his eyes into slits. He didn't appreciate being reminded of that fact. "So you guys don't get along?" she asked, innocently.
"What gave you that idea," Duke muttered sarcastically, looking away and up.
Mokuba wouldn't trap me in here and put me through all this hell. I know we haven't been at good odds, but he wouldn't do that... Kaiba shook his head, refusing to believe it. It must be Noa.
"Stupid... sista-stealin'..." Joey kicked at the vent, imagining it was Kaiba's face. "OW!"
"Quit howling, you mutt! I'm trying to think!" Kaiba said nastily.
"Oh yeah? Well, I'll kick you instead! Den you'll be doin' the howlin'!" Duke had to hold Joey back by his green coat so as not to get the other foot injured.
"' Mutt..'" murmured Rebecca, scribbling away. "Mutt? Well, he does look American!"
"That's not why!" Duke said, stilling holding skidding slipping Joey back as Kaiba smirked. "We're not allowed to question it."
"Eh? Well, whatever," Rebecca said, shrugging. "I thought maybe...since Pegasus was... there was some sort of connection...but anyway. According to my research, you two should become friends. Since you're about to become related, and all!" she said brightly.
Ugh... this bratty girl had to bring such a morbid subject up, thought Kaiba, facing the wall. Meanwhile Joey had a very different reaction at the reminder - he was heaving and crouching on the floor, gasping as if all the air had been taken from his lungs and he couldn't breathe. "Being related to you mutt makes me want to throw up too," he said coolly over his shoulder.
"He's not retching!" Rebecca said all-excited. "He's having... a Psychological Panic Attack! I've only heard about these; this is the first time witnessing it!" She ran over, pad and pen flying.
"Uh... come again?" Duke said.
"It's triggered by traumatizing stress, either from the past or present in layman's terms," she said smartly. "Causes symptoms of strong shortness of breath, which in turn causes blood to be deoxygenized and keeling over."
"AKA... you're a weakling," Kaiba hissed, conveniently forgetting that he went through the same thing the first time he heard Serenity was pregnant over the phone. Panic Attack... gimme a break!
"Who...are...ya...callin'...a...weaklin'...?" Joey said between gasps, "Kaiba-boy?"
"I told you not to CALL me THAT."
"Now," Rebecca butted in, coming in closer to hear better, "usually after these attacks - which are preferable, you know, to gaining a nervous twitch, Joey-"
"L-lucky...me..."
" - the person reveals his biggest fear, or the thing that's making him or her," she kept it co-ed, "have these attacks. So, what is it Joey? Hm?"
He mumbled something. She leaned in closer, Duke too to hear. "I'm afraid...dat..."
"Uh huh? You're afraid that..."
Gimme a break, Kaiba thought again from his corner.
"dat... da kid..." Joey coughed croakily.
"The kid? You mean the baby Serenity's having? Uh huh, what? That it'll kill her?" Rebecca nodded in understanding. "Very close possibility, according to my research-"
"No!" Joey said, still holding his ribs. "...dat...da...kid..." He scowled at Kaiba, who was listening. "...will...be...ugly."
Silence. "...Ughhhh..." Duke said, running back to his corner safely.
"What did you call me, mutt?"
"Uh..." Rebecca said to Joey. "Ok..." She ran back to write it tdown in her pad.
"You heard me!" Joey was saying angrily, grabbing the green chalkboard from the floor and getting some chalk out. "Do I hafta spell it out fer ya? U! G! L! E! E!" he yelled while slashing down the letters in white.
"Uh...Joey... there is a 'Y'," Duke put in helpfully. He knew before Joey spoke his next statement that it was a lost cause. Joey lost it.
"Why? Why? I'll tell ya why!" Joey threw down the board. It banged on the tiled floor with a loud noise. "'Cause of dis stupid idiot made me have these 'panic attacks!'"
"Watch it, Wheeler," Kaiba said omniously.
Joey didn't listen. "Watch yaself," he spat. "And now ya've got da nerve to call me stupid now. Well, ever heard of celibacy? Or chastity? Or marriage FIRST?" He threw the big rubber balloon at Kaiba's face. It bounced off and hit the floor.
Duke whimpered at the sight of Kaiba's face. It looked simply murderous, as he advanced. "I thought you were going to do your homework!" he hissed at Rebecca. "Nice going!" he hissed at Joey, who was determindedly (and bravely) standing his ground.
Uh oh... thought Rebecca. "Looks like trouble. But, I wonder, what is he going to do? How will he react to this?" She checked her notes. "First think up choices, Rebecca," she reminded herself next checking the glossary at the back of her text. "Let's see... Kaiba's... Class A introvert, sooo he'll either... A; insult his mother, B; he'll remind him of the other time that he was at fault for doing the accordant thing... or C; he'll-"
P O W !
"Or that," she sighed as sounds of scuffling and swearing and grunting rose up. LBG, what's going on? said a voice inside her head. Just beating the you-know-what out of each other ALready, she said back. Ah, I see. Can you handle it okay? Yeah, I can handle it okay Momo; thanks for askin'! Rebecca lazily pulled out a gun from her purse with a grin, a big water gun much larger than the one she'd used on Tèa - grr, Tèa - about three feet long and with two tanks full. She pumped it exactly twice threateningly. "ENOUGH! It's rude to fight-!" she yelled.
They didn't listen. Duke screams of, "Do something!" were lost over of the sounds. The cloud of dust was coming ever so close...
Rebecca pulled the trigger. A stream of water hit the two, at breakneck speeds, drenching them instantly. Rebecca calmly replaced the gun back inside her pink, fuzzy purse and smiled angelically, placing both hands behind her back and lifting her shoulders. "Okaay, Now you can fight."
TBC
A/N: Aaahhh... I'm not gonna explain the last part to y'all, so don't ask! LOL. I think y'all got it, tho. Anyhoo, since Joey's giving me o.O looks, Next: Rebecca's therapy continues to do the impossible! And a surprise that even surprises the doctor! Oh, man, is she gonna make things worse! Sigh... and of course, Serenity's gonna go in labor when they're least ready for it; of course! Of course! Y'all know my way! See ya next weekies!
l.o.t.s.a