Disclaimer:Not mine
AN: Well, it took less time to shake off HBP than I thought, though the humor isn't up to snuff quite yet. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and thanks to all who've reviewed. It gives me a warm glowy feeling for every comment left.
Part VI: Well, Circe...
1.
When next they met, Snape's discomfiture was palpable. Hermione, thinking it was because of her presence in his bedchambers a week prior, was equally uncomfortable. Neither said anything for the first two hours. Those torturous hours were spent secretly trying to gauge the feelings of the other while seeming disinterested.
When refilling their mugs yet again, Madam Rosmerta put an end to their stalemate by bursting into giggles as she observed their covert glances.
Snape glared Rosmerta away, then turned his ire on Hermione.
"What game are you playing at?" he demanded.
Hermione gaped at him, unprepared for the assault.
2.
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione said angrily.
"Don't be impertinent, girl, just answer the question, or so help me-"
"What? So help you what, exactly? You'll stop dating me? You'll give me detention? A beating? Maybe you'll tie me up and throw me to the centaurs?"
"Don't be ridiculous, girl. I'll just make you miserable!"
"And how do you plan to do that, Professor? Please enlighten me!" Hermione nearly shouted.
Snape glowered at her, then stood up to tower over her, menace radiating from his body.
"I'll make sure you feel for me as I do for you!".
3.
Snape stepped back from her, a look of panic flashing across his face before the normal sneer took over. Before she could respond, he turned and left for the toilet.
Hermione looked out the window, trying to decipher the threat. "What do you mean, Professor?" She murmured to herself. "I know you loathe me, and quite frankly, I couldn't be more miserable knowing that, what with how I feel."
A gasp made her turn to discover a startled Snape standing behind her seat. He looked momentarily bewildered, but quickly reverted back to anger.
"It is time to go," he said.
4.
The next date was awkward, both recalling their last encounter. Neither had said a word on their march back to the castle, but Snape had seemed almost reluctant to end the date by the time they reached Gryffindor tower.
"Miss Granger..." he'd started, almost plaintively, then braced his shoulders for a storm. "Miss Granger, I do not loathe you, nor do I wish you miserable, exactly."
"Exactly?"
"I do fervently wish you to share the discomfort I endure when I'm with you."
Hermione had scowled. "Don't worry, I do."
She'd pecked him sharply on the lips before escaping in disgust.
5.
So as their twelfth date started, neither was inclined to talk, as both felt slighted by the other. Snape felt as if his declaration had been shunned, whereas Hermione inferred that she was nothing more than an annoyance to be endured.
Neither wanted to be the first to break their sulk, so the stony silence lasted till their kiss. Both squeezed their eyes shut tight, as if they could block out the contact of their lips. They parted with an alacrity that spoke of a mutual distaste of present company.
Circe watched with a frown, wondering how things had disintegrated.
6.
"Darling child, may I have a word with you?" a brassy voice called out through the empty corridor. Hermione turned, knowing it was useless to ignore Circe.
"Certainly, Grandmother. What word would you like?" Hermione's tone was chilly, and Circe knew she needed to tread with care.
"I just wanted to know if you're enjoying yourself on your dates. I would hate to think of you miserable."
Hermione eyed Circe suspiciously, hoping the concern was genuine.
"Truthfully, I was enjoying myself, but knowing I'm making the Professor uncomfortable doesn't bode well for future enjoyment."
"Uncomfortable, eh? We'll see about that..."
7.
Snape's office was invaded by a gaudy dress containing the infuriating Grecian he'd love to loathe. He bit back any sharp remarks, not wanting to experience her transfiguration skills first hand.
"May I help you, Madam?" he said.
"Yes, you may. I was just wondering if the dates with Hermione are at all bearable. Is there a reason she's on the lonely road? Is she unmatchable?"
Snape sighed unwittingly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I see no reason why she's single, beside it being her choice."
"Oh?"
"She is attractive and intelligent. For someone out there, she's a catch."
8.
Circe thought long and hard about the conundrum before her. She was almost positive Hermione and Snape liked each other, but both were too proud to admit it. She was positive Hermione's snit could last through another thirteen dates, and suspected Snape's could, too. She needed to create conditions where they would cast aside their anger, and reveal their true feelings. She needed to make them feel as if they were going to lose one another forever, irrevocably.
Her eyes lit up as a thought struck her, and she smiled with manic glee.
"Dumbledore," she announced, "It's time for war."