By: Sly Omi
Disclaimer: As pertaining to all chapters herein: I, Omi, do solemnly swear that I do not, have not, and will not ever own any claim to copyrights of Naruto, either in manga or anime form, or any merchandise thereof. I am writing this for fun, not with the intention to make money.
Raiting: PG
Pairing(s): KibaNaru
Warning(s): You are reading this of your own free will. If yaoi or shounen-ai offends your sensibilites, turn ye back now. Failure to comply with this might result in your tender sensibilities being mortally offended, incurring mental trauma on your behalf. However, failure to comply with this also means that it's your own fault should that happen - I am morally obligated to do nothing about it other than laugh at you for not reading the warnings.
Naruto's idea of the perfect April Fool's Day was to not do anything. After all, he was expected to concoct some grand scheme every year, and so every year he nearly laughed himself to death at the anxious looks tossed his way as he walked down the streets of Konoha. The palpable relief that followed as they realized nothing had blown up was even more amusing. (Sometimes Naruto would swagger purposefully towards a store and into it just to see the crowds of people pushed up against the windows, trying to look inside. Without fail the whole crowd would fall over when he emerged with nothing more than a snack or a drink and he would have to practically run home so he could laugh freely.)
Night time changed all that. As soon as the sun went down, the whole village erupted into total chaos. Naruto would lounge on the roof of his apartment building and laugh, long into the night – and that was his own, personal, grand, perfect April Fool's.
This year the day had gone as had every other April Fool's Day. But this year was different. As the sun went down and the shouts of alarm began, this year marked the first time Naruto had company on April Fool's.
"It's official," Kiba said, leaping onto the roof after letting himself into Naruto's apartment and not seeing the blonde anywhere.
"What is?" Naruto asked, stretching out – much like Shikamaru, Kiba thought absently – and raising a brow slightly.
"Konoha is insane," Kiba stated. Akamaru barked his agreement, and settled himself to sleep.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Everyone's after the Hokage for something or other. Uchiha's demanding to know why the food stores aren't going to hold tomatoes anymore. Yamanaka is demanding that her favorite brand of conditioner be restocked and the rest of her family wants to know why their flower shop has been condemned. That TenTen chick is locked in her room, and won't come out until they remove the ban on coffee – there is no ban on coffee! The whole Aburame clan is protesting the insecticide-ing of the forest. Protesting! Like with signs n' crap. Ane's losing her mind 'cause she's being hounded by friends whining about the total discontinuation of lipstick and demanding she let them use our stuff," here Kiba paused to wave at his cheeks, in case the blonde were confused, "Asuma-sensei is attempting to buy every last pack of cigarettes in Konoha before they're thrown into the river, or something, Kurenai-sensei is on the warpath with a band of followers – and I know that scary Anko lady's with them – because they're raising cable prices, and ..." Kiba trailed off, sighing.
Naruto was fighting very hard to keep a straight face, "That bad? Geez."
"Yeah, that bad. S'far as I can tell there are maybe ten people who got off this year – they're all holed up in the Hokage's office – chased in by angry villagers demanding answers. Except me. I was on the other end of the village. Figured I should hide out for a while, 'til everyone leaves home."
"You got off?"
"Yeah."
"Who else?" the blonde prided himself for a job well done – Kiba didn't seem to suspect a thing.
"Eh. Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, for starters. Poor Iruka-sensei. All he wanted to do was grade some papers," Kiba chuckled, "Kakashi-sensei is going nuts 'cause he was separated from his book or something. Shikamaru's cleared, and Neji, Chouji, Hinata-chan, Lee, that Haruno chick, and ... well, no, I think that's it."
"Sounds bad."
"It is. Oh, believe me, it is. I nearly got chased here because someone thought I was behind it. Or it was a mass scheme plotted by those who got off. The Hokage'll be swamped all night."
"Hehehe, poor bastard. ... Oi, Inuzuka."
"What?"
"C'mere, you got something on your face."
"Na?"
But Kiba could say nothing more as Naruto's lips surged up to meet his. The blonde nipped and teased, pulling away before Kiba could relax enough to respond to the kiss.
"Something on my face, eh?" Kiba asked, raising an eyebrow.
Naruto shrugged and grinned, "April Fool's."
Author's Notes: This drabble is pretending that this particular April Fool's happened before the Third died. Hence 'bastard', as opposed to 'baba'. When this would have happened, I have no idea, but then, I've totally done away with the timeline as it stands anyway, so I guess this isn't such a big leap :shrug: