Chapter 14

"Daddy!" Emma cried when she saw her father in the coffeehouse.

"Hey!" Ross scooped her up and wiped the tears from her eyes, looking quizzically at the rest of the gang.

Monica, Phoebe and Chandler gathered around their usual spot in the coffeehouse that Sunday afternoon. In full force, they handled Emma along with her cousins, Jack and Erica.

"What's wrong?"

Emma hugged her dad tight and continued crying on his shoulder. She refused to answer his question.

Ross looked back at his friends and asked them the same question, "What's wrong? What happened?"

None of them could answer. Instead, they all looked at him sympathetically.

Ross rolled his eyes and carried his daughter to the chair. He sat down and forced to sit her up just so they could talk. "Sweetie, what happened?"

Emma finally answered her father, "We're moving back to Paris… I don't want to leave you daddy! Please tell mommy not to go?" She sobbed.

Ross froze on the chair. He couldn't believe what his daughter said. He looked at his sister for confirmation and she nodded. "Since when?" he asked all of them.

Monica opted to answer, "She- She called me last night and told me she had finally decided to go back."

"When is she leaving?"

"In three days." Monica watched her brother's face fall.

Last night, he thought, last night I kissed her. Last night I made my decision to break up with my fiancée and now, she's leaving! "Did she say why?"

Monica shook her head. Chandler and Phoebe did the same.

Emma looked at her father and pleaded once more, "Daddy Please tell her not to go? I don't want to leave you again."

Ross kissed his daughter's forehead and handed her to her to her uncle, "Where's Rachel?"

"She's upstairs," Phoebe answered.

He took one last look at his daughter and dashed out of the coffee shop.

"You're leaving?" Ross panted after running up three flights of stairs.

Rachel turned to face his familiar voice that just entered her apartment. She dropped the candlesticks she was holding inside the box and replied, "I'm going back to Paris."

He looked around the apartment, filled with empty boxes everywhere. "I thought you said you weren't sure if you were still going!"

"Well, now I am."

"Rachel it was months ago since I last asked you," he paused, remembering that night. "Why didn't you even tell me you were leaving?" Anger was beginning to fill his voice.

"Because I hadn't decided on leaving early until last night."

"Last night!"

"Last night… remember? You kissed me?"

"You kissed me back!" Ross retorted with a loud voice. "Is that why you're leaving?"

"No."

"Then what!"

"I can't do this anymore, Ross!" she yelled.

"Do what?" he yelled back.

"This…" she replied softly with her eyes welling up with ache, "I'm tired of hurting, Ross. I'm tired of falling head over heels for one minute, then hating you the next. I am tired of fighting about us or about Emma." Her tears ran down her cheeks, and her voice began to crack. "I'm tired of seeing you with Catherine and pretending it's not painful, because it is… and I'm tired of regretting that I left every minute I'm with you."

"And you think I'm not tired of all of those too?" he coldly asked.

"I know you are," she replied, "and that's why I'm leaving."

"No."

"Ross-"

"I'm leaving Catherine." He stated, looking her straight in the eye.

Rachel could hear her heart pounding. Once more she was torn between two decisions… but this decision would determine their future. She closed her eyes and turned around, wiping her tears.

Ross stood still, waiting for an answer. "Rachel." God, did he want her to stay… he wanted her, his Rachel.

She couldn't look at him anymore. It was too difficult to answer him whole-heartedly. Rachel took a deep breath and answered, "No, don't."

"What?" he was taken aback.

"No Ross," she heard her own voice trembling.

"Look at me and tell you don't want me to leave her for you and Emma." He harshly demanded.

She turned around once more, gathered her courage and forced herself return his painful glare. "No Ross," she repeated for the third time, "I don't want you to leave her."

Ross remained numb.

Her eyes stayed away from his. That pair of hazel brown eyes alone made her feel secure, loved and complete… and gazing into them would make her give in.

"No?" He finally spoke, plastering a sarcastic smile and nodded, reflecting nothing but his emptiness inside.

She stayed silent.

Ross pressed his lips together and his tears slowly ran down his cheeks… he found it hard to contain himself. All of a sudden, he turned to the wall beside him and punched it hard. Then he leaned against it with his forehead and cried, still punching the wall with all his might.

Rachel ran to him and pulled back his arm to stop him. She could already see his knuckles swelling with redness.

"Don't do this. Don't leave." He uttered amidst the tears.

"I have to," she gripped his arm tighter, "sooner or later you'll understand… then you'll thank me for that."

"What?" he faced her with confusion.

"It's… it's something I can't explain."

"I can't let you leave not knowing the reason why, Rach."

"Ross. You're with Catherine and-"

"But I love you! Is that hard to understand? I'll leave her-"

"Ross-"

"No Rachel. I'm willing to give everything up for you."

Rachel took a few steps away from him and shook her head, "You and I just can't go on hurting other people again that way."

"But I want to!" he insisted, raising his voice.

"You can't do that to her… she doesn't deserve it!" she retorted.

"Why?" he began to yell. "Since when did you care about her, Rachel? You never cared about Julie.. or Bonnie.. or Emily.. or Mona!"

"Stop it," she begged him.

Yet Ross continued, screaming at the top of his lungs. "Hell, you don't even care about Emma!"

"Ross-" she was getting drained.

"Doesn't it pain you that you cannot give her the one thing she has ever wanted? A family?" Ross watched her body collapse on the floor in tears. "This isn't love Rachel. You're selfish because you NEVER loved me or anyone more than yourself." He was completely out of line, but his rage brought the worst out of him.

Rachel glared at him. With that, she gave up… it was too much to take. "Catherine's dying."

"Stop it," Ross dismissed her, thinking it was another phony excuse.

She stood up emotionless and repeated, "Catherine is dying, Ross."

He suddenly held on to the counter for support, his legs felt like Jello. "What?"

"She has cancer."

He scoffed in disbelief, "You're ly-"

"I'm not lying." she immediately responded. "She has cancer, and I've known it for quite some time now." She took a deep breath, "The one person she needs is you, Ross, so don't you dare call me selfish… because I'm giving up my life just so she can live hers." She kept her stern composure, turned around and entered her room.

Ross stood still, trying to digest everything. He felt so stupid and imprudent…

"So you knew why she was leaving?" Ross asked his sister before drowning the eighth beer bottle he's had for the night.

Monica cautiously nodded. He drove all the way to Westchester with a number of beer bottles, both empty and unopened… and she knew her brother was already intoxicated when he arrived, and there was no way she would let him drive home.

"Why does this have to happen to me now?" he looked around the guest room, practically blaming no one.

"Ross," Monica rubbed his back, "Catherine asked Rachel to stay…" she paused, hoping that by explaining further, it would be easier for him to accept the situation. "She asked her to stay for you so that when she…" Monica stopped.

"Dies," Ross continued.

"Dies, you'll have Rachel to take care of you and-"

"Then why is she still going back?" he cut her.

"It hurts her seeing you two, knowing that Catherine's ill, and yet still wanting to be with you." She tried her best not to raise her voice. Her bother could be so dense beyond intellect. "Ross, Rachel doesn't want to wait for Catherine to die. It's just wrong."

"Then what's right?" he snapped.

Monica tried hard to stay cool but Ross' anger and stubbornness were getting into her nerves. "That you understand them both," she yelled.

Ross paused. He had no right to treat Monica that way… he was fortunate enough to have someone to listen to him. "I'm sorry…"

"Ross," she calmed down, "Whatever you do, Rachel will not allow herself to be with you right now. If you let her leave, you're sparing her from experiencing even more torture." She hugged him, "Sweetie, Catherine's dying wish is to be with you. Let fate do the job if you and Rachel are meant to be together."

Ross scoffed, "That never worked, Mon."

"Then maybe it never will."

He looked at her.

"Look, whether it will or it won't, you have to let Rachel go."

He was completely defeated. It was a lose-lose situation.

I can't believe I forgot to upload this chapter! Anyway, I hope the whole story made more sense... sorry you had to re-read it! Thanks once again for your support and reviews! I'll be uploading my next fic soon:)