Author's Note- While the students of Degrassi may seem perfect, but beneath the surface is a world of lies, drugs, sex, and scandal. Everyone has a secret, but when the truth comes out, will the students of Degrassi be able to cope with the aftermath? Manny had an abortion and has a drug problem, and Craig doesn't know about any of that. Paige and Spinner are still dating, but will a backstabbing-betrayal ruin their relationship? After Craig dumped Ashley for Manny, she started seeing Damon, but is he not what he seems? Sean and Emma seem to have the perfect romance, but their both keeping devastating secrets…Ellie mysteriously returns after she disappeared two months before, but what really happened to her while she was gone? Riley is the wildest girl in the class, but can she be tamed, before she self-destructs?
Please read and review and tell me what you think! I hope it's going to be a pretty intense story, so keep reading! Thanks
Images flashed quickly through Manny Santos's mind as she lay sprawled on her bedroom floor. A circular mirror lay on the floor next to her, with three lines of cocaine dribbled across the top. Manny squeezed her eyes shut, mentally willing the unwanted memories to disappear…
"It's not the locker I don't like…it's you," Craig said sadly, staring at her with large, soulful eyes. Manny swallowed hard and looked away, the words vibrating unhappily through her head….
Craig drummed the guitar lightly and Manny reached over and gently removed the guitar from his hands. The garage was dimly lit as Manny leaned over and kissed Craig lightly on the mouth. The two fell back onto the couch, kissing passionately. Manny allowed Craig to slowly unbutton her blouse….
"I….you…you have to go, Manny," Craig stuttered the following morning as he grabbed his shirt from the floor. "I'm sorry." Manny nodded slowly, wondering exactly what he was apologizing for. Was he apologizing for having sex with her, or was he apologizing for the fact that he regretted it?...
"I want you to dump Ashley," Manny stated. "I've been patient, but I think it's time."
"I..I can't make that choice," Craig stuttered, staring at her in surprise. Manny's quiet for a second.
"I think you just did," she said coldly, and then she stormed out of the garage, leaving Craig all alone….
Manny stared at the pregnancy test with blank eyes, frozen in her spot. She could barely move-she could barely breath. God, she was pregnant. Manny stared up into the mirror over the sink in her bathroom. Then, she turned and heaved the small stick against the wall, tears streaming down her face…
"It's ok, Manny," the nurse said, squeezing her hand firmly. "This won't hurt a bit."
Manny nodded slowly, butterflies in her stomach. She was doing it. She was getting an abortion. She was killing Craig's baby…and her own….
Manny sat up with a start, and suddenly a sick feeling on nausea washed over her. She hunched over the small mirror, put a finger on one nostril, and inhaled the white powder into the other. She could vaguely hear her parents arguing loudly downstairs, most likely over money or about her and her brother, or even some stupid shit, like what toothpaste brand to buy. Manny fell back on the floor, her head whirling.
Don't think about that, she scolded herself, wiping her nose. You had the abortion. There's nothing you can do about it now. There was clearly no use in replaying it over and over again in her head- what was done was done. Manny rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. Manny had had sex. Yes, she had gotten pregnant. Yes, she had had an abortion. But did she tell Craig about any of that? No. Because she hadn't had the fucking guts to tell him that she was pregnant with his baby, let alone that she had gotten an abortion and killed his child.
Tell him, a voice in her head screamed at her. You have to tell him! You'll never move on if you don't. Manny crawled over to her bed, struggled to get to her feet, and then finally collapsed onto her mattress. Shut up, she told herself. You can't tell him. He'll hate you forever. Is that what you want?
Manny closed her eyes and stuffed her face into her pillow. You can't tell him. You can never tell him.
It was still dark outside, but the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon. Sean turned over onto his stomach and stuffed his face into his pillow, completely exhausted. After he nearly asphyxiated himself in his pillow, he lifted his head groggily and stared at the alarm clock on his bed-stand. It was almost six, and Sean sadly realized that now that he was up, he was up. He groaned and sat up slowly, tossing back the covers and untangling the sheets that were wrapped around his legs.
The girl that had been lying next to him stirred slightly, and she rolled over to face him. She groggily opened one eye, and when she saw that he was up, she smiled sleepily at him.
"Sean," she said in a small voice. "Where you going?"
Sean sighed, finding that he was slightly irritated by the cute brunette that was next to him. He rubbed his hands over his face and stared up at the ceiling. "Nowhere. Look, I think you'd better leave."
The girl propped herself up on her elbows and frowned at him. "Why? Did I…do something wrong?'
Sean shook his head, not sure what to say. He hated when the girl would suddenly become all vulnerable and needy. For some strange reason, it made him want to just push her off the bed or something. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw that she was staring at him with large, puppy-dog eyes. Jesus, he thought. You'd think I told her I shot her grandma or something.
"No. It's not you…" he said, searching his brain for a name. He looked at her again, and frowned. He wanted to say Lauren, but that didn't sound right. Laura? No…Lori? Hell, he couldn't remember. "Uh…I have a girlfriend…Leslie?"
The girl snorted. "It's Leah. And it's a little late to be thinking about your girlfriend, don't you think?" She reached over and rubbed his bare shoulder. "You had fun with me, right?" Sean thought for a second, and sighed again. He might as well tell her what she wanted to hear.
"Yeah. It was…fun," he lied. Honestly, it had just been another one-night stand to him, something he would reflect on and smile about for a whole week, but nothing he'd remember in a year or two. "It's just I have a serious girlfriend…and I'm sort of feeling that morning after guilt, you know?' he said slowly. Then he reached over and grabbed her shirt from the floor, and then shoved it at her. "So…the front doors down the hall and through the kitchen."
The girl took her shirt, and frowned at him. She pulled it on, clearly pissed. "That's it? After all that? You're directing me to the door?"
Sean looked thoughtful for a minute, then simply shrugged and nodded. He knew he was acting like a huge jerk, but it was like he couldn't stop himself- suddenly, he wanted the girl to get the hell out of his house- now. He watched mindlessly as the tall girl stood up, glaring at him the whole time, and then she stomped over to the door. A few seconds later, Sean heard the front door slam loudly, vibrating through the house. Sean sighed in relief, and then walked to the kitchen.
He pulled open the refrigerator door and peered inside. He saw an empty carton of milk, a few pieces of moldy cheese, and ketchup. Well, that's a winning combination, he thought sarcastically. He closed the fridge in frustration, and realized that he'd have to eat the same things he'd been eating for the past week- a peanut butter sandwich.
Sean was pulling out the bag of bread when he spotted Jay sprawled on the couch, his stupid hat pulled low over his face. Sean rolled his eyes, remembering the previous night- Sean had actually wanted to spend some alone time with Emma, but Jay had invited a bunch of people to his house, so he had scratched that idea. Then Leah, or whatever her name was, had showed up, and…well…it had been a crazy night. Sean walked over to the couch, grabbed a pillow from a chair, and hurled it at Jay. Jay woke with a start, and his hat fell onto the floor. He stared at Sean angrily.
"Man, what's your problem?" he said, a voice a cross between angry and sleepy. 'I was clearly sleeping."
"Yeah, I realized that. But, in case you've forgotten, this isn't your house," Sean said, gesturing around him.
Jay ignored him and closed his eyes again. "How did things go with that Leah girl?"
Sean sighed. "Fine, I guess. She talked too much, and she laughed like a hyena on Speed or something. She gave me her number," he said, taking the small slip of paper out of his pocket and crumpling it up in his fist. He shrugged and tossed the paper on the floor, knowing he'd never call her in a million years.
Jay, who had been smiling, frowned when he saw this. "Well, hey, don't waste it," he said, leaning over and picking up the paper off the floor. "I might call her."
Sean walked over to the kitchen. "Word of advice-don't. You'll just want to kill yourself, believe me." He reached over and picked up the cordless phone off the counter. "I'm going to call Emma."
Jay grabbed his hat and put it back on his face. "It's six in the morning. So if you really want to wake her up and piss her off, then go ahead and call," came a muffled voice. Then, Jay folded his arms over his chest and rested his head on his pillow, and Sean could tell he'd much rather fall back asleep than talk to him. Sean sighed and laid the phone back down. Even though Jay was a complete idiot, he actually had a point.
Why do you do this? Sean wondered as he slathered some peanut butter onto a piece of bread. Every time after he hooked up with some random girl, he always felt the compulsive need to call Emma. Like he had to make sure she hadn't instinctively figured out he had cheated on her or something. It's pathetic, he thought, biting into his sandwich. Completely wrong and pathetic.
He knew that. But then why the hell couldn't he stop cheating on Emma?
The sun was sinking into the sky as Jimmy Brooks approached Hazel Aden's front doorstep. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he timidly climbed onto her front doorstep and glanced around. You're in deep shit, dude, he thought, scuffling his feet on the concrete. He took a deep breath. A minute later, he knocked lightly on her door, and it almost instantly opened. Hazel was standing there, looking awesome in a flighty black skirt and a low-cut blue sweater. Jimmy smiled weakly.
"Hey, baby," he said. She was frowning at him. "You look really-" he began, but she quickly cut him off.
"Don't "hey baby" me, Jimmy," she snapped, folding her slim arms over her chest and leaning against the door frame. "Do you know what time it is? You were supposed to pick me up two hours ago to go to the movie."
Jimmy sighed, suddenly feeling horrible. "I know, Hazel, but after my basketball camp this morning I volunteered to help out with the younger kid's program. I just lost track of time…"
"Have you ever heard of a phone?" she asked, sounding frustrated and angry. She threw up her hands. "The least you could have done was called. I've been waiting around, worried sick about you!"
Jimmy stared down at the ground silently. She's right, he thought. She's right. You're an asshole. Here she is, looking amazing and waiting to go on a date with you, and you ditched her to play basketball with a couple of eight-year-olds, he thought. When he thought about it that way, it made him sound like a fucking idiot. He rubbed his hands over his short hair, and finally looked up at her. Just apologize. That's what she wants.
"Haze, I'm sorry. Really," he said, and it sounded lame, even to his own ears. Hazel glanced away, and he saw tears sparkling in her deep brown eyes. Great. You made her cry. Why don't you just go shoot a puppy or push an old lady into traffic?
"It's just…you always do this," she said slowly, pain in her voice. "Don't you…don't you want to be with me?"
Jimmy nodded quickly. "Yeah. Hazel, of course. You mean everything to me." He shook his head. "It's just, when I'm playing basketball, I get really into it-"
"So you'd rather play basketball than be with me?" Hazel said sharply. "Fine. I have an idea. How about you go off and play basketball, instead of going out with me. I'm sure you'll have an excellent time." With that, she grabbed the door and slammed it right in Jimmy's face. Jimmy winced as the sound vibrated through the quiet street. Damn it, he thought, turning and walking back to the sidewalk. If Jimmy could beat the crap out of himself, he probably would. He hated hurting Hazel, which was something he seemed to do frequently. You don't deserve her, he realized, kicking at a rock as he walked down the street.
Jimmy kept walking, yelling at himself mentally and just getting more and more worked up over the whole incident with Hazel. Before he knew what was happening, he was heading toward the one place that he most definitely shouldn't be going to- a place he had been going a lot lately. Don't, man, he thought in the back of his head. Turn around and just go home. But it was like he couldn't stop himself- he had to go.
A few minutes later, he knocked loudly on another door. He waited anxiously as he heard footsteps approaching the door. He stuffed his hands back into his pockets as the door flew open. He looked up at her, and sighed.
"Well, look who is here," Paige purred, leaning against the doorframe, looking exactly as Hazel had a few minute earlier. Except she was wearing her trade-mark smirk, and she looked slightly amused. Jimmy couldn't help but smile. The feeling her got whenever he saw Paige- it was something he couldn't explain. Silently, Paige stepped aside and let Jimmy come in. The house was empty and quiet, so Paige took his hand and led him into the living room. They both sat down on the couch, and they stared at each other for a painfully long minute. A minute later, Paige was on top of Jimmy, and they were making out as if there was no tomorrow.
After a few minutes of intense making out, Paige leaned back briefly. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with Hazel," she breathed, and then she leaned in a kissed him again.
"We got in a fight," he said in between kisses. When he said this, Paige pushed him away and leaned back. She frowned at him and sniffed unhappily.
"Oh. Well, that's awesome, Jimmy," she said, rolling her eyes and re-adjusting her shirt. "You get in a fight with your girlfriend, and you go running to her best friend's house."
Jimmy sighed and shrugged. "Alright. We have to talk."
"Pass," Paige said, picking at her nail. Jimmy shook his head.
"Paige, come on. How long are we going to do this?"
Paige's face softened and she sighed. "I…I don't know."
"I love you, Paige."
"Don't say that," Paige said quickly, glancing at him.
"Why not? What's the matter? Do you not feel the same way about me, or-" Jimmy began, but Paige cut him off.
"The matter is, I'm dating your best friend, and you're dating my best friend!" she cried, throwing up her hands. "Do you not detect a slight problem there? What are we supposed to say- hey, we've been secretly seeing each other for two months; hope your ok with that? Somehow, I don't think that's going to go well."
Jimmy smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, I was thinking about maybe writing them a note, but…"
Paige smiled softly and punched him playfully in the arm. "This is serious, Jimmy."
"I know. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It's seriously starting to mess with my head."
Paige nodded in understanding. "I know, baby. But not so much longer, alright? I promise." She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. "And to answer you're other question, I do feel the same way."
The small basement was dim, and the only light in the room came from small white Christmas lights that had been strung up on the walls. Soft music was playing on a stereo in the corner, and the room was filled with smoke. Riley Corey was sitting on a carpet in the middle of the room, her back against the tattered couch behind her. She glanced at the other two girls sitting nearby, and then lit a joint.
"Alright, I'll give you some," Riley finally said after a minute. "But it will cost you, of course."
"Of course," Manny said a bit sarcastically. "But you completely overprice for weed, you know."
"Then go get it from someone else," Riley snapped back. She glanced at Emma, who was sitting on the couch. "I don't know why I'm friends with you two," she muttered, inhaling the joint in her hand.
"Because you love us, that's why," Manny said, smiling sweetly. "Can I hit that?" she asked, gesturing to the joint. Riley looked thoughtful for a second, and then slowly handed it to Manny. Emma glanced up from behind Riley, where she was flipping through a magazine.
"So, Paris, are you still dating that Joe guy?" Emma asked casually. Riley snorted and rolled her eyes.
"I don't know if you call making out occasionally "dating", but no, I'm not. I got the distinct impression that he was gay, anyway. He was more interested in talking to my brother than doing anything with me."
"You think that everyone's that not interested in you must be gay," Manny pointed out with a slight smile.
"Well, obviously," Riley snorted, snatching back the joint from her friend. "Look at me."
"Perhaps it's your overwhelming conceit that turns men off," Emma said, closing the magazine. She glanced at her watch, and then sat up. "Well, I've got to go."
Riley nodded. "Yeah, I should go, too. I've got my shit to do." She stood up a little uneasily, and then smiled at Manny. "I'll hook you up later, alright?" Manny nodded and stood up with her two friends.
"Yeah. I'll walk you guys out," Manny said. The three walked up the stairs to the first floor, and then filed out the front door. Emma waved at Sean when she spotted him leaning against his car, which was parked on the curb. He smiled and nodded back her. Emma began walking toward him, but then suddenly stopped short and turned to Manny. "Shoot! Remember that shirt you were going to let me borrow for tonight?"
Manny nodded slowly. "Yeah. Come on. We can go up to my room and you can pick one out." Emma nodded in agreement, and she and Manny turned and went hurrying back into the house. Riley watched them go, then turned and skipped down the walkway toward Sean. She walked up and smiled slightly at him. "Hey, Sean."
Sean stuck his hands into his pocket and looked away. "Uh…hi, Riley."
Riley stepped up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "So are you still going to pretend like nothing happened between us, or what? You never called me back after that night."
Sean cleared his throat uncomfortably, took her arms and unwrapped them from his waist, and pushed her away. "Stop it, Riley. I don't want to talk about this now."
Riley shrugged nonchalantly. "Alright. Whatever. I'll just go talk to Emma about it." She turned to walk back into the house, but Sean grabbed her arm firmly. She turned back around and laughed quietly. "I was kidding. Please. You know I'm not like that. It's just…" she trailed off and pouted, sticking out her lower lip. "I thought there was something between us."
"Bull," Sean said, rolling his eyes. "You're just doing this to get to me. We never even liked each other much, and you know it."
Riley frowned and sniffed. "You're a jerk, Sean. I kind of liked you. I liked you enough to sleep with you."
"Yeah, and it was fun, ok? But I think we should just forget it ever happened and never speak of it again," Sean said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Get over it, ok?"
Riley snorted. "I am over it. So over it." Just then, Emma and Manny walked up. Emma smiled and kissed Sean on the cheek, and Riley just rolled her eyes and stared at her nails.
"Let's go, Sean," Emma said, opening the car door and climbing in. Sean walked around quickly to the driver's side and jumped in, in no mood to stick around. Emma rolled down the window and smiled at her friends. "So, Riley, are we still going shopping tomorrow?"
Riley leaned into the opened window of the car and smiled at her friends. "Oh, definitely. We can have a nice, long, talk," she said, staring at Sean with a smirk on her face. "There are a lot of things I think I should tell-"
Sean cleared his throat. "Ok! Time to go!" he said, starting the engine.
"Bye, guys," Emma called to her friends with a wave. Riley smiled and waved back.
"Bye, Emma. Bye, Sean!"
The lights were dim in Ashley's bedroom, and soft rock music was playing lightly on the radio. Ashley closed her eyes as Damon Hill, her boyfriend, began softly kissing her neck. She leaned her head against her pillow and smiled softly as Damon's lips finally found her own. This is perfect, she thought. Everything is perfect. Ashley briefly opened her eyes and glanced over at the clock on her bed-stand. Damn it! She thought angrily. Almost six.
She gently pushed Damon off of her, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. You have to go."
Damon groaned and sat up, running a hand through his disarrayed hair. "Are you sure?" he joked. Ashley smiled and nodded.
"Yeah. I'm sorry, but my Mom and I are going to this concert, and I have to get ready," she said apologetically.
Damon stood up and smiled. "Oh, I see how it is. You're choosing your mother over me?"
Ashley stood up too and shrugged. "Well, she did go through eighteen hours of labor to give birth to me, so yeah…" she said, walking over and standing close to him.
"You have a point," Damon agreed, and he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "But we're getting together tomorrow. There's this movie I've been dying to see. I'll pick you up at three, alright?"
Ashley thought for a second, and then shook her head slowly. "Sorry. I can't tomorrow. I'm really busy."
Damon frowned. "Don't' you want to spend time with me?"
Ashley nodded quickly. "Of course I do! But I can't tomorrow. I'm have to spend some time with my grandma, and then I already made plans to go to Paige's house with Terri-"
"Well, it doesn't sound like you want to spend time with me," Damon interrupted her, frowning harder. "You'd rather hang out with that bimbo than go to a movie with your boyfriend?"
Ashley bit her lip. "Damon, we can do something on Monday. I promise. We can go out to dinner, and then go to that movie you wanted to-"
Damon suddenly grabbed her wrist roughly and shook his head. "I'm your boyfriend, Ashley. You're supposed to want to be with me."
Ashley winced and struggled to wrench her wrist out of Damon's grasp. "Damon…that really hurts. Please let go."
Damon shook his head, but after a long minute he finally released Ashley's wrist. Ashley took a step backward and rubbed her sore wrist. Damon was still glaring at her.
"Maybe….I can drop by your place before I go to Paige's," Ashley said hesitantly. "I have to get ready for the concert, Damon. I think you should go." She nodded toward the door.
"Fine. Call me tomorrow," Damon said, suddenly sounding as normal and sweet as he always did. He grabbed his jacket off a nearby chair and shrugged it on. "Have fun at your concert." Then he turned and walked out the door. Ashley watched him go, and as soon as he was gone she hurried over and shut her bedroom door. She turned and stared at her wrist, and saw that there were already bruises forming on her wrist.
He didn't mean to be so rough, Ashley told herself. She walked over to her dresser and began pulling off her shirt, to change into something more formal for the concert. She laid her shirt on her dresser, and her eye caught the small bruise on her right shoulder. He didn't mean to be rough when he gave me that two days ago, either, she told herself again, but this time she didn't actually believe herself. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.
But no matter how many times she repeated that to herself, she still had her doubts.
Spinner rolled over onto his back and stared at the alarm clock on his bed-stand. It was almost one in the morning, but Spinner couldn't sleep. There were too many thoughts running through his head. Things between him and Paige hadn't been the same lately….she seemed more distracted and less interested in him. Spin couldn't figure it out- things had been going great between them.
But that wasn't the thing that was bothering Spinner. Even though his relationship with Paige was one of the most important things to him, he couldn't help thinking about something even more disturbing…something that was eating away at his soul.
Suddenly, Spinner heard a light knock on his door, and he jumped slightly. His bedroom door opened slowly, and his adopted sister, Kendra, stepped in. He sat up slowly as she walked over to his bed.
"Hey. What are you still doing up?" he asked quietly. Kendra shrugged and sat down at the edge of his bed. In the moonlight, Spinner could see the bright tears in her dark eyes.
"Spin…I'm scared."
Spinner felt his insides turn, and he looked down at his hands. "I know," he said in a raspy voice. "I'm scared of Dad, too."
Kendra nodded silently, and fiddled with the gold necklace that hung on her neck.
Spin took a deep breath, knowing he had to ask the question that was burning in his mind. His father was a prominent business man, but he had one weakness- alcohol. When he drank to much, he got violent. It scared Spinner to see his father so trashed and out of control, but he suspected it scared Kendra even more….
"Kendra," he finally said. "Has Dad been….touching you…lately?"
Kendra looked up at him as tears fell down her cheeks. "I…yes," she choked out. "He's started….he's started doing it again, Spin. I don't know….what to do," she said, and she began crying as she stuffed her face in her hands. Spin felt his heart break and he reached out and put an arm around his sister. That son of a bitch, he thought angrily, his jaw clenching. Just then, he heard a car door slam in the driveway. Daddy's home.
"Hurry…Kendra, get back into your room," Spin said urgently, knowing that his father only arrived home this late after her had been out drinking, probably with his work buddies. "I'll come check on you in awhile, ok?" Kendra nodded and quickly jumped off of the bed, and she hurried out of his room to her own.
Spin leaned his head back on his pillow. He had suspected his Dad had been molesting Kendra, but hearing Kendra confirm it…it made him was to be sick. Well, Spin had been sitting by and doing nothing for too long. He was sick of keeping quiet. He had to do something-for Kendra.
He's not going to get away with this, he thought angrily, staring out the window. I won't let him.
Ellie sat in the back of the cab, staring distractedly out the window as she watched the trees whirl past. She couldn't believe she was going home-back to Degrassi….back to everything that had driven her away. She picked at her nails and sighed. She wondered how everyone at school would react to seeing her. Two months ago, Ellie had mysteriously disappeared, and no one had had any idea where she had gone.
I didn't tell anybody I was leaving, she remembered. I just left. But I had too.
A few minutes later, the cab approached her house, and Ellie felt her stomach flutter. Shit, I'm nervous, she realized in amazement. As the car pulled to a stop, Ellie wandered exactly what she was expecting. She had been gone for two months, and now she was just going to waltz back into her house as if nothing had happened. What was she supposed to say? HI! I haven't spoken to you in two months, but now I'm back, so don't worry- what's for dinner? Ellie shook her head and laughed in spite of herself. Somehow I don't think that is going to go over well.
Ellie paid the driver, opened the door, and stepped out. She stared at her familiar house, and was surprised to feel a warm, comforting sensation wash over her. After all she had been through in the last two months, Ellie suddenly just wanted to run into her room and collapse into her own comfy bed.
Ellie got her bags and slowly walked up to her front door, her stomach twisted in uncomfortable knots. Let's just get this over with, she thought as she lifted her hand to knock on the front door…..