Thanks for the reviews!

squirtbug158 - yes; very nice image (hee-hee). They are gorgeous, aren't they?

Linguna - lustknaben. Would that mean 'drool-worthy', perchance?

SeedC - You never know ... keep reading and find out.

Wildhorses - I know - I realized my mistake after posting (always the way!)

For you four, and for Warpchick and Ascifigirl, find below Part Two.

Part Two

My CO and my friend. Standing at my door, dressed entirely in black and letting the evening sun do spectacular things for his hair.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. God, Sam; you're screwed, I thought. No man should look that good in a leather jacket. Sometimes his taste in clothes was pretty outlandish, favoring giant sweatshirts in bright colors and jeans that were usually two sizes too big. But he certainly knew how to wear leather jackets. I recalled fondly the biker type he'd worn during our trip to 1969 - Jimmy Dean had had nothing on the Colonel for raw sex appeal.

"You scrub up pretty nice, sir," I said, following him into the cab and pulling my hem back down over my knees as I sat.

He cleared his throat. "You too, Carter," he replied. He shifted his long legs. "So, maybe now you'll finally listen to me and get rid of that old heap!"

I snorted, feeling more comfortable at the resumption of our usual banter. "That 'old heap' is a '65 original ... sir," I told him.

"Ah." He smiled faintly. "Good year, huh?"

"A little before my time, sir."

He winced. "Damn, Carter; quit makin' me feel old," he complained with a smirk.

He wasn't a young man anymore, but he had the strength and vitality of a much younger man. "You're not old ... Jack," I dared to say softly.

He put a hand to my knee, sending an odd tingle rushing through me. "Better," he teased, then cleared his throat and moved his hand back to his side.

I cleared my own throat, feeling the sexual tension practically vibrate through the confines of the cab. Why him, for God's sake? The one man I wasn't allowed to have, and he was the one I wanted? Was he a 'safe bet' - the one I used as an excuse not to risk the potential hurt of a real relationship? Or were we meant for each other, as several encounters with alternate realities seemed to indicate?

I had deep feelings for the man, but I had no idea whether he still felt the same way as a few years ago. I'd tried to move on, and he'd likely done the same. He was an attractive, sexy, vital man who had no shortage of women interested in him - he just never seemed to notice it.

Besides, I wasn't sure I bought into the whole 'soul mates' thing. There were things about him that irritated the hell out of me. Whilst his clever acid tongue could be amusing when it wasn't being directed at me, his propensity for using it to piss off whatever Goa'uld captured us had always made things worse for us. He could be tactless, ruthless and a real SOB. But at other times, he was gentle, self-effacing and quite shy.

Will the real Jack O'Neill please stand up?, I thought in exasperation.

We walked into the restaurant and looked around for Daniel and Teal'c. "O'Neill, Colonel Carter," Teal'c said, standing up.

Several women looked over at him and he bowed minimally to one who was staring more blatantly before drawing out a chair for me. "Good evening," he said with a warm smile. "You look very nice, Colonel Carter."

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said, "but please ... call me by my name."

He looked startled, then dipped his head. "Of course ... Samantha." It was odd hearing my full name, but it sounded right coming from this formal man.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel gave me a bright smile. "You look great." He looked around. "Janet couldn't make it?"

"She said she was too tired," I told him, wondering if he was interested in the petite redhead. They'd flirted for a while after his return, but things had definitely cooled after she'd nearly died.

"T, Daniel, Carter; usual drinks?" the General said, stuffing his fists into his pockets and drawing the fabric tighter against his rear. Nice rear.

We nodded an affirmative and he strolled over to the bar, aiming that smile at the waitress. The smile that made unsuspecting young female personnel have distinctly impure thoughts about their commanding officer's body and sexual prowess.

The women of the SGC had always speculated about the guys on my team. It was to be expected. They were three very attractive men, and were all unattached. I chuckled to myself as I remembered a conversation I'd had a few years ago ...

Flashback - Seven years ago

"Hey, Carter! Whatcha doin'?"

I started, then looked up from my computer as Colonel O'Neill leaned against the door way, his arms folded across his chest and his brown hair sticking up at all angles. "Just catching up on some journals, sir," I said.

He strolled in. "Y'know, Carter; I always thought that when you were given leave, you actually left," he said pointedly.

I smiled at the less than subtle dig - he'd been nagging me for a while to get a life. "You're still here, sir," I pointed out.

"Not for long." He stretched and indicated his civvies. "Goin' to a hockey game."

"Excuse me, sir," Corporal Winters said timidly, sidling around my CO. "Major; would you be able to come down to Lab Three? Doctor Lee needs your help."

"Of course, Corporal," I replied, disconnecting from the Net and closing my laptop.

"Marine," the Colonel said, "is it urgent? Because the Captain is supposed to be on down time."

The young Marine blushed. "I'm afraid so, sir," she said, her eyes skittering over his long lean frame.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Go, Carter, but if I find out you've pulled another all-nighter ...".

"I won't," I said, touched by his concern. He played the hard-assed CO very well, but I knew he cared deeply about his team. He couldn't inspire the kind of loyalty he did by being a hard-nose. For God's sake, Ferretti and Kawalsky had lied for over a year about the outcome of the original Abydos mission and had risked court martial to protect him!

He waggled his eyebrows. "See that you don't," he said gruffly, then gave me a smirk. "Anyway; me for hockey! Night, Carter."

"Good night, sir."

"Night, Marine," he added and strolled away.

After the Colonel had left, I followed Corporal Winters down the corridor. "He's ... actually a nice guy, isn't he?" she said.

"He can be," I said, "and he's an excellent commanding officer."

She blushed again. "Do you ... know if he's seeing anyone?"

I was surprised. Not at the idea that my CO could be dating, but that the idea gave me a small - highly inappropriate - flare of jealousy. Yes; he was an attractive man, but he was a lot older than the Corporal - who'd been assigned here straight out of basic. "Corporal; do you have feelings for Colonel O'Neill?" I asked gently. They weren't in the same chain of command, so the frat regs weren't a problem, but the vast differences in their age and their rank could lead to nasty rumors about both of them.

"I ... think so," the younger woman said. "I've been ...". She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Captain," she suddenly added. "This isn't an appropriate conversation."

I drew the blushing young woman into an empty office. "Forget ranks for the moment, Corporal," I said. "Your feelings for the Colonel - are they a problem?"

She sighed. "They could be," she admitted, "but he doesn't seem to see me as anything other than an anonymous Marine."

I remembered being her age and having a crush on one of my older - married - professors. It had sucked. "You know, Corporal; you're a very pretty girl," I told her. "You should get out a bit more; maybe meet someone you can have a real relationship with." I felt like a hypocrite almost instantly; my last relationship had ended badly several years ago, and only ten minutes ago my CO was nagging me to get a life.

She looked at me with wide eyes. "I'm not very good at the whole relationship thing," she said, "but for the Colonel ...". She gave a blissful sigh, then chuckled suddenly. "Those eyes and his hands. Have you ever gotten a good look at his hands, Captain?"

Of course I had. We'd fought together many times, and damn near died together too in Antarctica only a couple months ago. His hands were fascinating. Long and slender, with curved thumbs that gave him great dexterity with weapons, they were the hands of an artist. Yet he could also be extremely gentle with those hands, comforting friends and children, gesturing animatedly to illustrate a point.

I flashed back to when I'd attempted to seduce him under the effects of the Broca virus. His hands had clasped my bare upper arms to pull me off him; they'd been so warm and firm. My monkey brain recognized his virility; he was the leader, the Alpha ... and I wanted him.

Oh God; I wanted Colonel O'Neill.

End flashback

"Carter! Hey, Sam!"

I blinked as I heard the General's dulcet tones. "Sorry, sir," I said, blushing and dragging myself back to the present.

"Penny for 'em?" he teased.

You ... me ... hot monkey sex tonight! I shook my head, cursing the blush that once again lit my fair skin. "Not worth it, sir," I said, grabbing my merlot and sipping it cautiously. The last thing I needed tonight was to get drunk - my judgment wasn't exactly trustworthy right now.

The evening was great. My guys were the best friends a girl could have, and I had to wonder as Teal'c did why we didn't do this more often. Conversation flowed easily, touching only rarely on work, and the laughter was constant.

Jack and Daniel teased each other almost unceasingly - they could drive each other up the wall, in fact - but that was how their friendship manifested itself. Daniel had seen the General at one of his lowest points and had helped pull him back from the abyss. In return, the orphaned archeologist had gained the older brother that he'd probably never realized he needed.

Teal'c was quieter than Jack and Daniel, as was his wont, but his broad pleased smile indicated that he was also enjoying the evening. He stood up. "Colonel Carter ... Samantha; I would be most pleased if you would join me for this dance," he rumbled.

I stared at him. He could dance? He was a strong, toned warrior who moved with a certain feral grace, but I hadn't realized that he could dance. "I'd like that," I said, placing my hand in his large one.

We went over to the dance floor and he put his hands loosely on my waist. "You look very charming tonight, Samantha," he said quietly, with a flash of mischief. "And I am not the only one to have noticed."

I started as my hand went up to his massive shoulder. "Teal'c ...," I said in a strained tone. He'd witnessed our confession to deeper feelings during the Zatarc tests, but he also knew about the regulations standing in our way.

"Maybe it is too soon after your relationship with Pete Shanahan," he continued, "but it seemed to me that your heart was never truly committed to him."

I closed my eyes. I often forgot that this gigantic warrior - and one of my best friends - had lived for over a hundred years. Still waters ran deep, and his extra years of life had given him an almost uncanny perception. "Please ... don't," I said. "I just want to enjoy myself."

"Of course, Samantha," he replied. He turned me smoothly into a new movement. "But you cannot run away from your heart forever."

I waved as Daniel and Teal'c got into their cabs, then turned to the General. "Well ... it's a lovely night," I said. "I think I'll walk home." Besides, the air would do me good - I wasn't drunk, but was definitely ... the worse for wear.

The General patted his stomach. "Think I'll join you, Sam; work off that cake." He gave me a teasing grin. "Got to keep my girlish figure, ya know!"

He put a light hand to my back to steer me in the right direction, and I closed my eyes at the warmth. Thoughts of hot monkey sex filled my mind again, and I was tempted to just screw the regs and find out exactly what I'd been denying myself for so many years. I gave a strong shudder of desire, then dismissed the notion with the ease of years of practice.

"Cold?" he asked. He shucked off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders before I could protest.

"It's okay, sir," I said, clutching at my discipline before it deserted me completely. Since when did a grown woman of thirty ... something feel flutters just by wearing a man's jacket? Even if it was a very sexy man's jacket? What was it about this man that made me feel like a teenager?

"Sam; the name's Jack. Remember?"

"Jack. Right."

We strolled along the quiet walkways in silence, simply enjoying the moonlit night and the gentle breeze that played along. Colorado Springs really was a lovely part of America, and I was glad that the man beside me had taught me to see beyond the science to the beauty.

"Sam," he said suddenly, "do you ever ... ya know ... wonder? Wonder what might have been?"

My heart pounded. It wasn't like Jack to bring up feelings and for him to do so now ... I owed him my honesty. "I do," I said. "Sometimes I think we should just get it over with and at least find out what we're missing, but most of the time ...".

"The regs," he replied bluntly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I still care about you, Sam - more than I really should - and my term ends in four months."

"Sir; you can't retire," I interrupted him. He'd tried it before and, according to him, had been bored out of his skull until General Hammond had reactivated him. This man needed the Air Force - and the Air Force needed him.

"Sam; I'm gettin' old," he said. "I'm tired, I hate flying a desk, and I'm lonely." He gave a short mirthless huff of laughter. "People seem to think I'm a loner; I'm not." He touched my cheek. "I miss simply being with someone, Sam."

I resisted the urge to turn my cheek into his warm hand. "Sir ... Jack ... I would never ask you to give up your career." I blinked as I realized I'd echoed my hallucination of him.

"I know." He dropped his hand and stuffed it back in his pocket. "And I probably won't. I just ... wonder sometimes."

"Yeah." I sighed as we turned into my street and stopped outside my door. "Would you like to come in, Jack?"

"I probably shouldn't, Sam," he said.

"Probably," I agreed, "but I think it's okay for you to have a coffee with me." The effects of the merlot had worn off, so I couldn't blame the wine for the sudden flirtatious note that had entered my voice.

He gave me a cheeky grin, the somber mood dispelled suddenly. "You sayin' I'm drunk, Colonel?" he teased.

I widened my eyes. "Of course not, sir," I teased right back, opening my door. He followed me in through the hall and into the kitchen.

I bent down to retrieve my coffee maker, then stood up, blinking as my head spun. "Whoa ...," I muttered.

A pair of warm hands landed on my waist, supporting me. "You okay, Sam?" Jack asked.

"Stood up too quickly," I said, sorely tempted to lean up against him. Maybe the wine hadn't worn off after all. I turned and put the coffee maker on the counter, then began the search for coffee.

"Uh, Carter ... I'd better go," he said, snatching his hands off my waist like they'd been burned.

I wasn't stupid ... I knew that we were close to crossing that line. I closed my eyes. "Yes, sir," I said. I saw him to the door. "Good night, sir," I told him.

"Night, Sam," he replied quietly, then ducked his head and pressed a sweet chaste kiss to my lips.

I put my hand to his cheek and drew his face to mine, leaning my forehead against his. "I'll wait for you, Jack," I told him.

He drew back. "No, dammit; you won't," he flared. "You're a young, beautiful woman. If you meet someone who makes you happy, you'll give your whole heart to him. You deserve to love, and to be loved. Promise me."

I just looked at him. My heart belonged to him, but I didn't have the courage to tell him. "Jack ...," I sighed.

He moved away. "I have to go," he said. "Good night, Carter."

"Good night, sir."

I closed the door behind me, then leaned against it with another sigh. My hand went up to touch my lips, reveling in the brief kiss. His lips were as soft as I recalled from the harsh encounter of nearly eight years ago, but there was now so much more than simple monkey-brain sex to my feelings for the man.

I decided to have a shower before I headed for bed. I quickly headed upstairs, then stripped and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt wonderful as it hit my tense body. I stayed under the spray and just let it relax me. Suddenly a sharp pain seemed to ripple across my abdomen.

I gasped with the pain and doubled over. It came again, more broadly this time. I looked down and started to cry as I saw the blood washing down the drain. "Oh, God!" I muttered, sinking to the shower floor. What was happening to me? I managed to turn off the shower and then the pain increased in intensity and all I could do was lie there, clutching my midsection and crying.

"Sam?" I heard someone say softly.

I couldn't respond - could only give another cry of pain.

"Sam!" he said a little more loudly.

"Jack? Please ... please help me," I sobbed.

Jack appeared suddenly and grabbed my bathrobe from the hook on the door and covered me with it as he picked me up. "Sam?" he said. "Stay with us, baby."

"I'm here," I said weakly. "It hurts, Jack," I moaned as I gave in to the pull of oblivion.

I surfaced reluctantly and saw Janet's large brown eyes peering into mine. "J-Jan?" I muttered.

"Hey," she said gently, "you gave us quite a scare, Sam."

"Sorry," I said, closing my eyes once more. So damn tired ... "Infirmary?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Sam ...". She took my hand gently. "We couldn't do anything - I'm afraid you lost the baby."

Pregnant? I was pregnant? Harsh tears stung my eyes and I blinked them fiercely away. "I see," I said, turning away. "I'm sure you did your best, Jan." Please leave me alone!, I thought.

She touched a gentle hand to my hair. "We've got some very anxious men waiting on news," she said. "They've been bouncing off the walls for the last forty eight hours."

My guys ... I could picture them pacing anxiously, drinking too much coffee and being chased out of here on a regular basis by Janet and her nurses. I managed a small smile, even though my heart was breaking. I'd lost a baby I hadn't even known about. "Okay; send them in," I said.

Janet helped me sit up and I ran a hand through my hair, knowing that I must look like something the cat had dragged in. Teal'c and Daniel came in. "Hi," I said.

"Hey," Daniel said gently, sitting down next to the bed and taking one of my hands in his. I realized he knew what had happened, but he didn't try any useless words.

"Samantha." Teal'c sat down on my other side and took my other hand in silent sympathy. "It is good to see you."

"Yeah," I said. "The General?" I couldn't even call him Jack when I was ill, I noticed.

Daniel gave a chuckle. "He's in a shouting match with a CIA agent," he said. "Talk about hate at first sight."

I smiled - Jack formed opinions about people quickly, and you soon knew if he liked you or not. He'd certainly cut me down to size during our first meeting with that line about having a problem with scientists.

I'd been so cocky and sure of myself - thought I was prepared for going through the 'gate. After all, I'd studied it for years. But the actual feeling of being taken apart atom by atom ... I'd nearly thrown up, and he'd been less than sympathetic. I'd deserved it, I realized in retrospect.

Speak of the devil. He walked in, muttering something uncomplimentary about bad-tempered redheads, then his face softened. "Hey, Carter," he said quietly. "How ya feeling?"

"I'm okay," I replied, my eyes closing despite my intentions. I was pretty tired, and realized that Janet must have put some Demerol into my IV.

"Daniel, Teal'c; Agent Johnson wants to see you two now," the General said. "Why should I have all the joy?"

"I suppose we'd better go, then," Daniel said. He squeezed my hand. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay," I said, forcing my heavy eyelids open. "Bye, guys."

Daniel and Teal'c gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek each, then left the Infirmary. That left me alone with the General. "So, how are you, really?" he said.

"I am okay, sir," I said. "I should probably be fit for light duties next week; I know you were wanting us to go to J2X 741, but we could probably do that in a few weeks ...".

"A-ah!" He took the hand not connected to the IV and stroked his thumb across it. "Let the Doc make the diagnosis, okay? And don't worry about missions; you'll take as long as Napoleon says you need."

"I'm ignoring you, General," Janet said. She put a hand on my shoulder. "Sam; your body's been through a lot. It's going to take time - you have to accept that."

I shrugged listlessly and removed my hand from the General's. "Yeah," I mumbled. I closed my eyes and turned slightly. "Tired now," I said. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Okay," Janet said. "Sir; let Sam get some rest, huh? And you should go rest for a while, too - you look like hell."

"Yeah; love you too, Doc," the General grumbled.

I sighed as Janet steered the General out of the Infirmary, then rested my hand on my stomach. Tears pricked my closed eyes as I thought about the little life I'd lost. The poor little thing hadn't even had a chance to live - it wasn't fair.

A nurse came in and checked my IV, forcing me to blink back the tears. "Try to sleep, please, Colonel," she said softly.

The days passed slowly after my miscarriage. Daniel and Teal'c were frequent visitors and I appreciated their attention, but I was getting tired of them walking on eggshells around me. If one more person asked if I was okay, they were going to get a mouthful!

The General was a less frequent visitor due to his responsibilities, but at least he didn't tiptoe around me. He bullied me into taking short walks, snuck in science periodicals and ice cream, and generally treated me like he would anyone else.

Seven days after the miscarriage - the day I was to be released - the General appeared at my bedside, bouncing on his toes like a child with a great big secret. "Hey, Carter!" he said. "Time to bust you outta here!"

I smiled slightly at him, appreciating his child-like side. "Yes, sir," I said. "Is that why you're so wound up?"

"Ah; I'm taking a coupla weeks off," he said. "Just finished handing over to Reynolds." He chuckled. "Left him with a huge honkin' backlog of requisitions too!"

I frowned. I was supposed to convalesce for two more weeks - please tell me he wasn't planning on hovering over me that entire time? "Sir?" I said.

"Carter ... Sam," he replied, "the Doc doesn't want you on your own for that time and you need a vacation. So ... me, you, Daniel and T - and Doc and Cassie of course - are off to the cabin for two glorious weeks of sunshine, fishing and barbecues."

I looked over at him, surprised at how accepting I was of him making this decision for me. Then again, since I'd lost my baby, I didn't really care so much about flexing my fem-power. Although the then-Colonel had kicked me off my feminist soapbox rather quickly into our acquaintance, I tended to take pride in my strength. But ... that was gone now. All I wanted was to curl up in a dark corner somewhere. "Okay, then," I told him.

He smirked at me. "Excellent!" he said. "And it's only taken me eight years to get your ass up there!"

"Well, you've got me now, sir," I said, then flushed at the double entendre.

He went pink of his own accord, then chuckled. "Cassie and the Doc took the liberty of packing some stuff for you," he said. "So, we can get goin' as soon as you're ready."

I smiled again - a little more brightly. "Actually, a vacation sounds rather nice, sir," I told him.

"Carter!" he whined. "Can we lose the 'sir'? We're on vacation!" He pointed to his chest. "Me Jack; you Sam," he said in a caveman voice.

Ass. I couldn't help the giggle that emerged, and he looked pleased. "Okay ... Jack," I said obediently.

I allowed Teal'c to settle me into the passenger seat of Jack's big truck, glad to get out of the mountain for a while. Although I could usually spend days there without noticing the passage of time, it was different now. I wasn't able to work and people were ... the looks were what I hated the most. I'm a Colonel in the US Air Force; I didn't want their pity.

Teal'c got in his own truck next to Daniel, then Cassie and Janet squeezed in with them. "Good job you're a shrimp, Doc," the General teased as Janet slammed the door shut.

"Needles, Jack," Janet shot back, waggling her fingers expressively.

The General shuddered. "Pax?" he offered, widening his eyes appealingly. "Can I take some of your luggage?" he said as a peace offering. "I've got a huge back seat here."

"No; that's okay, sir," Janet said. "Sam; you may need to bunk out there - it's a long journey, so don't try to tough it out, huh?"

"Yes, Mom," I teased lightly.

"Let's go, campers!" the General ordered, starting the truck and pulling away from the complex.

As the big truck ate up the miles, he looked over at me. "I might give her a hard time, but she's right, ya know," he said. "You don't have to be the tough soldier all the time."

"Oh, look who's talking!" I shot back. Crap; did I say that out loud? "Where d'you think I got the habit from?" I asked more quietly.

He smirked at me. "Jacob, of course."

I snorted with a sudden laugh. He was probably right. My dad was another stubborn soldier - just like the General and I. Never let 'em see you hurting was pretty much the Carter MO.

I snuggled more comfortably into the wide leather seat and leaned my head back with a contented sigh. "It feels good to get away," I admitted. "I think I would've floored the next person who looked at me with a wide-eyed pity."

"Pity sucks," he said abruptly. "Hey! You don't think that's why I've hauled your ass outta there, do you?"

"No," I said. I straightened up and looked over at him. "You're the one person who hasn't walked on eggshells around me, and I appreciate it."

"Yeah, well ...". He gave the little cough that indicated embarrassment. "I've been through stuff myself, ya know. You get through it and, if you're lucky, you might be able to go a day without thinking about it."

'Stuff'. The General had gone through so much in his life. An Iraqi POW for four months, the death of his child, repeated torture and death at the hands of Baal ... What else had he gone through that I didn't know about? I stretched my hand out and squeezed his briefly. "Thank you, Jack," I said softly.

He returned the brief squeeze. "You're welcome," he said gruffly. "Look; why don't you put your head back and relax? I'll wake you up in a couple."

I was pretty tired, actually. This was my first day out since the miscarriage, after all. "I think I will," I said, lost for a moment in his soft brown eyes.

He gave me a slow tender smile. "Good," he said.

Northern Minnesota

"God; how'd they get here so quickly?" Jack said as we pulled into a clearing near his cabin. "T's only been here once!"

I chuckled. "Maybe they didn't spendtwo hoursinhaling cake," I said.

He'd actually bought a full pound cake in a diner and had proceeded to eat the entire thing in one sitting, much to my amusement and the waitresses' amazement. He'd topped it off with a pot of coffee and was now pretty wired.

"Is that snippiness, Carter?" he asked cheerfully.

"Is that a word, sir?" I shot back.

"Good point." He practically bounced out of the truck. "C'mon, Sam; let me show you around," he said eagerly.

I began to get carefully out of the big truck, not wanting to stretch my abused stomach muscles, and he took my elbows, heaving me out with seemingly little effort. "Good Lord!" I gasped. Although I was slim, I was no lightweight, yet he'd made nothing out of my weight.

He carried me over to the porch swing and settled me gently down before high-tailing it over to the rest of the gang. "Sam and I are goin' for a walk," he announced brightly. "Anyone wanna come with?"

That innocent question was greeted with groans and various pleadings of weariness, and Jack shook his head in disgust. "Geez; I'm supposed to be the grumpy old fart, remember?" he teased.

Oh boy! I shook my head. God help us when the caffeine/sugar high wore off. I just hoped I could keep up with him in the meantime - I wasn't exactly fit yet.

He came back over to me. "Lazy slugs; they're gonna unpack and laze around, so I told 'em to unpack our stuff as well. You're in the east bedroom; great sunrise on that side. You'll love it. And no astrophysics speak when you're watching it either!"

I blinked. Did he even pause for breath during that speech? "Take deep breaths, Jack," I advised. "You're about to hyperventilate."

"I love it here," he said happily. "Let me show you why."

He held his hand out to me and I tucked mine into it, allowing him to draw me back up. We set off along the clearing at a slow considerate pace, to the accompaniment of crickets and birds. I looked at Jack as we strolled along. His face was so peaceful; not the hard General or the cheeky schoolboy - just Jack.

He linked his fingers with mine as we emerged from the clearing to a beautiful small lake. The waters were a clear blue and the shore was dotted with several tall strong trees. He touched a tree trunk. "This is my very favorite place in the universe, Sam," he said softly.

I chuckled. "Jack O'Neill likes trees, huh?" I teased. "Wait till I tell Daniel!"

He returned the chuckle, then stared at the tree. "Look up, Sam," he instructed.

I did so, and saw a small tree house. "This was Charlie's place," he told me. "He used to come up here when he wanted to cry."

I squeezed his hand, unbelievably touched at the way he was letting down some of his barriers. "You can't climb at the moment, Sam," he continued, "but if you need to be alone, just leave a note, come out here and we won't bother you."

The tenderness in his eyes, his warm fingers entwined in mine ... "Oh, God!" I gulped, feeling the tears leak out.

"C'mere, Sam," he murmured, and enfolded me in a warm embrace.

I dropped my head to his shoulder and started crying. "My ... baby!" I mourned. "It's not fair, Jack!"

He didn't say anything, didn't attempt to hush me - he just stroked my hair with one hand and rubbed my back with the other as I sobbed out the worst of my grief. I gave a final heave, then shuddered, still snuffling into his neck. "It's not fair," I repeated.

"No," he agreed hoarsely. "You'd be a great mom, Sam; this shouldn't have happened."

I wasn't so sure that I would be a good mom; I'd never had a big maternal instinct except that time I'd stayed with Cassie when we thought she'd die. But I liked his faith in me. "Thanks, Jack," I muttered into his neck.

He kissed the top of my head. "You're welcome," he said. "You ready to go back to the cabin yet?" he added.

I nodded my head with a yawn. "Tired again," I admitted. The long journey and my crying jag had worn me out.

I awoke to the smell of pancakes, and realized that I was actually hungry for the first time in days. I got carefully out of bed and looked out of the window. Jack was right; the sunrise really was beautiful, and I breathed in deeply, pleased when my stomach didn't protest the movement.

I moved carefully to the ensuite and showered rapidly before changing into a long sleeveless dress and sweater. My stomach was still tender, so I didn't want to wear my usual jeans or anything with a waistband for that matter. I scrubbed a towel over my hair, glad that it was short. It saved a hell of a lot of work.

Then I stepped out of the bedroom and followed the smell to the kitchen. "Morning, guys," I greeted Daniel and Teal'c. "No shadow today, Daniel?" I teased.

"Janet's taken her into town," Daniel said, going red.

For some inexplicable reason, Cassie had developed a huge crush on Daniel and followed him round like a lost puppy. Jack thought it was hilarious and often pushed the two together - but Jack was evil that way. "So ... who made the pancakes?" I asked.

"I did, Colonel Carter," Teal'c said.

"A-ah!" I shot an index finger out at him. "We're on vacation; call me Sam."

Daniel snorted into his ever-present coffee cup. "You've been hanging around Jack O'Neill way too long!" he said.

I sat down at the breakfast table and let Teal'c serve me a small portion of pancakes. He handed me a jug of maple syrup - goodbye waistline! - and I slathered the pancakes with the sweet treat. I dug in with a fork and took a cautious bite. "These are real good," I mumbled around a mouthful.

"Then you will eat them all, Colonel ... Samantha," Teal'c rumbled. "You need to regain your strength."

"Have you always been this much of a mother hen, or is this a new thing?" I teased, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

He arched an eyebrow. "It is not a weakness to need help, Samantha," he said. "It can be more of a weakness to not admit it. We are a team; we all help each other."

I touched his strong forearm. "You guys ...," I said, tears welling up once more. "You're the best."

"Hey; not interrupting anything, am I?" Jack inquired, strolling into the kitchen at that point.

I looked over at him. "Morning, Jack," I said, noting how positively delicious he looked in his baggy shorts and gray tee shirt.

"Morning, Sam," he replied. His eyes brightened. "Do I spot pancakes?"

"You do indeed, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "Would you like some?"

"Huh; is Kinsey a snaky, slimy, double-dealing ...?"

"He was all those things, Jack," Daniel said, interrupting Jack's flow. "You really think he survived his ship blowing up?"

Jack shrugged. "I'd like to think not, but the pessimist in me says he'll be back." He perched on the counter, his long legs dangling, and snagged some pancakes from the griddle. "Hot! Hot!" he yelped.

"Oh, God!" Daniel spluttered suddenly, going pink. He nudged me and nodded his head in Jack's direction.

I looked over and saw the exact same thing. I gave an alarmingly girlish giggle for a woman of my age and looked away hurriedly.

"What?" Jack said, chowing down on several pancakes in one go. "Hey, these are good, T! Got any more?"

"Nothing," Daniel managed to get out, his face now red from suppressed laughter.

The door opened and Janet and Cassie came in. "Morning, Sam!" Cassie said, then sidled over to Daniel. "Hi, Daniel," she added sweetly.

He cleared his throat, now red for a different reason. "Morning," he said gruffly. "Morning, Janet," he said rather more warmly.

"Daniel," she said, then came over to me. "Hey, Sam," she said. "Are you okay? You seem to be running a temp."

"Uh ..." - I choked back on my laughter as Jack's eyes darkened. "No; I'm fine, Jan," I said, unable to tear my eyes away from Jack.

She followed the path of my eyes, and her own widened. "Ah." She gave a short laugh.

Jack now sported a magnificent scowl. "If someone doesn't tell me what's going on and soon, I'll open up a can of whup-ass on you all!" he threatened.

Cassie groaned and looked over at him. "Jack; there are people around," she said. "Put the mouse back in the house, huh?"

He blinked, then looked downward. "Oh, for cryin' out loud!" he exclaimed, going red as he zipped up his shorts. "How old are you guys, anyway?"

That night

I lay in bed, listening to the crickets chirping, then started chuckling again at the adolescent moment we'd had this morning. I battered my pillow and turned over, wincing as the incautious movement pulled at my still-sore muscles.

We'd had a wonderful day after we'd stopped teasing Jack. He'd taken it in good part - mostly - but had shoved Daniel into the lake when he'd made one too many cracks. Daniel had decided it was wise to avoid Jack after that, and had gone off exploring some nearby caves.

I spent the day with Jack fishing. Well, he fished. I just dangled my feet into the cool water and enjoyed the sunshine and his quiet presence. It had been a comfortable silence, without any of the sexual tension that was usually present, and I could feel my wounded psyche beginning to heal.

Jack was right - I would never forget, but I would be able to get past it. I put a hand to my abdomen. "Goodbye, little one," I whispered. "I would have loved you, you know."

A tear leaked out then and I pushed my face into the pillow, trying to silence my heart-broken sobs. The door opened. "Oh, Sam," Jack whispered. He came over, sat down and tugged me into him for a big hug as I cried all over him once more.

Slowly, the sobs subsided and I looked away from the tenderness in his chocolate eyes. "Thank you," I mumbled, swiping my hands over my eyes. "God; I must look terrible!"

"I've seen you look better," he agreed with a small smile, "but you're one hell of a beautiful woman, Sam."

Oh God; I loved this man! And I knew he loved me too, even though we couldn't do anything about it. I grasped one of his large hands, twining his fingers with mine. "Will you ... sleep with me tonight?" I asked. "Just ... hold me?"

He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. "Of course," he said. He tucked his legs under the light sheet, then patted the pillow next to him. "C'mere," he ordered.

I lay down next to him and cuddled into his body, tucking my head into the crook between his neck and shoulder. I snaked an arm around his waist and breathed in his comforting scent. "I love you, you know," I told him matter of factly.

He gave me a tender smile. "I love you too," he replied softly, brushing a gentle kiss onto one of my tear-stained cheeks. "You think you can sleep now?"

"Uh-huh," I said around a big yawn. "Night, Jack."

"Night, Sam."