A/N: Hey again. I am working extra hard on A New Beginning and Reckless Surrender. Fool for Love will be up tonight I believe. Anyways this is just a short little ficlet that I wrote on my father's computer. It's got a character death so be warned.
Summary- After the death of someone close to her, Buffy finds comfort in Paris with Spike. After a night of thinking and remember, Buffy finally decides what is best for her.
Setting- Six years after Spike's death.
Spike-
She was crying when I got there. I had never felt bad for someone until I saw her crying. I sat beside her on the couch. I didn't know what to say or what to do. Hell I had never been in this situation before, never had to offer comfort to someone I loved cause before her; I never even cared.
"I'm so lost." She said.
I looked at her and couldn't bear it anymore. There I went again, reverting back to bloody William. I shouldn't even be here. "It's okay love." I said, trying to reassure her. Truth was, I didn't bloody know if it would be alright. Buffy kept crying and hugging herself. It was killing me.
Buffy-
When I thought about it, I couldn't understand why someone so sweet was gone. I walked out and sat on the couch on the balcony. Paris was so amazing at night and from here I could see the Eiffel Tower. I came to Paris to get away, to be able to morn in peace. I asked Spike to come with me, which everyone took the wrong way. I could talk to Spike, I could tell him anything, and he would understand. He didn't just understand me, he helped me. If I needed to be hit, he hit me. If I needed someone to tell me that it wasn't the end of the world, he'd do it. Unlike my friends, who constantly tried to make me feel better. He told me how it was and wasn't afraid to hurt my feelings sometimes. With Spike I couldn't be a spoiled brat, I had to grow up and face things. He wouldn't let me hide from my problems. He made me face them and he was there to help me if I ever fell back. He was the person that I wanted and needed with me during this time.
Flashback-
The date was July 20. It was a warm day, just like any California day had been. Sunnydale had long since been destroyed and the whole Scooby gang had moved to Cleveland, where there was yet another hell mouth. Xander was preoccupied with work, keeping himself busy to not think about Anya's death. Dawn was doing quite well learning magick from Willow. Willow was bouncing back from her messy breakup with the slayer Kennedy. Buffy was dealing with Angel and Spike, who had recently showed up after his big dramatic death and was back to his same old vampire-loving-slayer things. Angel was cooping with Buffy choosing to keep Spike with her, instead of Angel. Faith was still with Wood. And Andrew was still the same old Andrew. Giles was just watching over them, like he always did. Buffy and Willow were standing at a graveyard, the rest of the gang behind them. Willow was chanting something in Latin, Buffy and Spike were fighting several demon and they were clearly losing. Willow kept chanting, as well as Dawn who was standing safely behind Giles. "Foolish Witch." A voice said. "How dare you try and stop me." In the blink of an eye, a large demon was standing in front of Willow. "You are a silly little girl." The demon said, obviously building up some stored up energy. Willow was in danger.
"Willow!" Dawn yelled, causing Buffy to turn. But Buffy was too late. The demon sent a blast of energy at Willow, knocking her back several feet. The demons were suddenly gone and Spike was able to cut the big demon's head off. Dawn had rushed to Willow's side. "Willow?" Dawn said.
The witch was chanting, like she had never stopped, and when she was done she looked at Dawn. "Dawnie?" Willow said, before taking her last breath.
As they buried her, Buffy was asked to say something in her defense. They all stood around and were teary eyed. "She was a wonderful friend. Through out everything she was there. She was powerful and sometimes she lost control, but she was loved and always loved us. She spent her last breaths saving all of us. She will be missed." Buffy said with tears in her eyes.
Spike-
I remember how hard it was for Buffy when Red died. We were all so pissed and upset. Red was a decent girl. She was good and nice, she was a great person. I've seen a lot of death in my time, I've known for a long time that bad things happen to good people and how bloody unfair it was. But with Red, things were different. Buffy brought me along with her to Paris to morn Red's death. We drank, she cried, and we talked. I use to think that she used me; she used to think that she used me. But she doesn't anymore; she knows how I feel and how much I'd rather be there for her then anything else. Red's death was tragic and I knew I had to be there for her.
Buffy-
When he looks at me sometimes I can't hide how I feel. I feel like I'm above the world when he looks at me like that. He looks at me like he loves me. When Angel looked at me it was different. He wanted to protect me and help me carry the burden of slaying. When Riley looked at me, he saw a normal girl who was somehow "blessed" with powers to fight demons. He didn't seem to understand that I could escape my destiny and that I didn't choose to be the slayer. He didn't understand me. But Spike understands me.
Paris was supposed to be the place that I could morn Willow's death. The only reason that I left the rest of the gang was that I couldn't face them. I felt somehow responsible for what had happened. I was the person that brought Willow into in my life, put her in danger. It was my fault that she was dead. I was the one responsible.
Narrator-
"You can't blame yourself slayer." Spike told her. She didn't need to tell him that she did, he already knew.
"How did you know that?"
Her voice was weak and hurt. It tugged at Spike's heart. "It doesn't take a genius to figure it out love. You blame yourself because Red would have never been in that kind of danger if it wasn't for you." Buffy nodded. "But Red had real power and you can't hide that kind of power. She probably would have died a lot earlier if it hadn't been for you."
Buffy felt much better, like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Spike always had that affect on her, and she didn't mind much. "Let's go out Spike. I don't want to cry anymore."
"All right love. Where to?"
"Everywhere." She said with a smile.
Buffy-
It was amazing! Paris at night may be the most amazing thing in the world. The Eiffel Tower was all lit up and amazing. It was so beautiful and romantic. I could feel all these things for Spike. He was so amazing, opening the doors and taking me where I wanted to go. We went all the way up to the top of the Eiffel Tower, we went shopping, we went out to a fancy French restaurant, and we went to a few clubs. And all night, Spike was the perfect gentlemen. When we returned to the hotel, the staff had sent us a bottle of champagne and we both decided that we should take advantage of the hot tub. Something told me that something was going to happen between us.
Spike-
Night's out in Paris, shopping, and finally a hot tub. Things were taking a different turn. We had come out here to let her morn; instead she was having the time of her life. And that was all that I cared about. God how bloody pathetic is that?
Buffy-
I walked out of the bathroom in my bikini and walked over to the hot tub. Spike was already in there. He was so cute that I almost backed out. Nothing could happen between us this time. When he had died, and I had admitted how I really felt, he said that I didn't. He hadn't believed me. So I pretended that I didn't love him so that I wouldn't get rejected. It would be better this way. I got in and smiled, Spike hadn't taken his eyes off me all night. In ways I think it was to protect me, in another way I think it was to tell me that he would always be there, that he would always be watching. And then I knew that somewhere, not so deep inside, he was checking me out. Watching how I moved, how I talked, how I looked in the Parisian light. I knew he was doing it because I was doing it to him. Watching him watch me, it made me all excited. I knew that he loved me. And that made me feel great, like I was the best thing in the world.
Narrator-
There was something about him that she couldn't put her finger on. Something that made him seemed… different. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it, and she really didn't care to. She didn't need to analyze anything right now. She couldn't do that. If she question why he was here, if she told herself that it was all just innocent and then questioned that, she wouldn't be able to hold back. And if she broke down and decided that she would do something about the gut feeling she had, she knew things would end up badly. For now she just enjoyed his company.
Flashback-
"Tell her." Angel said, growling almost to Spike.
"Listen up you bloody wanker. I don't have to do what ya say."
"You have to tell her. If she finds out from someone else, she'll kill you." He said. Then he realized that he didn't care if Buffy did kill Spike. "Or don't tell her. It'd be better for all of us."
"Fine you win Peaches." Spike said.
Angel and Spike had flown to Cleveland in the company jet and drove to the house in the company car. They fought and bickered the whole way there. And in the quiet times between the fighting, they were silently fighting with themselves. Spike sat contemplating what he would say when they slayer saw him. Angel sat there, half thinking of what it would be like to see Buffy again and half waiting to see her beat the shit out of Spike. The first people they saw when they pulled up was Willow and Dawn. They were sitting in the front yard, doing some kind of spell in the moonlight. As the car pulled up and Spike saw Dawn, he started to get nervous. "I don't know about this Peaches." Spike said, eyeing Dawn. "Niblet's goin' to be mad."
"I'd be worried about Buffy." Angel said, stepping out of the car. Willow and Dawn were now looking at the car. Willow's eyes flew open at the site of Angel.
Willow got up and walked over to Angel. "Hello." She said to him.
Angel closed the door behind him and shot a look at Spike. Then he turned his attention Willow. "Hello." He said.
"What are you doing here?" Willow asked.
"Buffy called me." Angel said. "I brought her something."
Dawn had walked over and joined them. "What did you bring?"
Spike had gotten out of the car, but he was now behind the witch and Dawn. He was standing in amazement at both of them. The last time that he had seen Willow she was a reformed Wicca, on the path of redemption. Now she was that same Willow, with a slight edge to her. But it was Niblet that he had the most trouble believing what he was seeing. In the four years that had passed, Dawn had really done some growing up. Not only in the physical aspect of things, but in emotional ways. Spike had seen when they had first pulled up and he could see it now. He reminded him of how Buffy was so long ago, before the death of her mother, before her own death. He remembered her like he saw Dawn now, with this feeling around her. Instantly upon seeing her, you could tell that she had been through a lot, despite how much Buffy tried to keep her from the world she was a part of. But seeing Dawn now, after all these year, sporting scars of both physical and emotional origins, was almost more then he could take. He should have returned, taken care of them both, made sure that his girls were safe. Instead he truly followed his sire's footsteps, using spies and the company's toys to check on them. "Sorry. All ya get is me." He said with a smirk. Both girls turned at the voice of Spike. A voice they hadn't heard in years was ringing in their ears and the man that voice belonged to was standing behind them.
Dawn could not help herself. She ran over to Spike, and he picked her up in his arms, spinning her around before placing her down. "Spike?" She said, with some question in her voice. For many years after his death, she had prayed and hoped that he would somehow come back to them all. Not just for her, but for Buffy too. And here he was standing with his arms around her, letting her hug him as many times as she needed to make sure he was alive.
"Niblet." He said. She smiled. "You've really grown up a lot." He told her.
"Thanks." She said. "Do you wanna see her?"
Spike didn't answer her right away. He was still scared of the reaction that he would get from the fiery blonde that he had left behind. "Where is she?"
"She went out patrolling." Dawn said. "There's a graveyard a few minutes down that way." She pointed down the road. "It's real obvious, ya can't miss it." She gave Spike one last hug before pushing him off in the other direction.
Spike had stopped himself though and turned towards Willow. "Good ta see ya Red." He said before walking away.
When Spike reached the cemetery and saw Buffy, he almost ran back that other way. It had been so long since he had seen her, but a day hadn't gone by that he hadn't thought about her. He kept a picture of her in his room, thought about her during the day and dreamt about her at night. She was his everything when he died and it didn't change when he came back. He got up the courage to walk though the gate and froze when it squeaked and she turned to face him. The stake that she had in her hand dropped and she stared at him, frozen. "Buffy." Spike said, his voice carrying in the silence of the graveyard.
"Spike is that really you?" Buffy said her voice quiet but loud enough for his vampire ears to hear.
"Yeah slayer. It's me." He said.
Buffy left her stake on the ground and ran over to him, jumping into his arms, similar to how Dawn greeted him. When he put her down, she stayed wrapped in his arms and leaned in to kiss him passionately. She pulled back to breath and then attacked his mouth again, backing him up till her was pressed up against the gate. She kissed him hungrily and he kissed her back. Both melted into each other, feeling the heat between them. Buffy would have screwed him right there, but Spike wouldn't have. If he ever was with Buffy again, it would be gentle and kind. He would make love to her instead of screwing her. Buffy finally pulled away and stared into his eyes, making sure that he was there. "Spike?" She said breathlessly.
"Yeah slayer?"
"How'd this happen?"
"Somethin' to do with the amulet." Spike let go of Buffy and sat down with his back against the gate. Buffy sat beside him.
"I'm glad you are back."
"Buffy… I've been back." He said. He knew that Angel would tell her if he didn't.
Buffy shot him a look of confusion. Then she understood. He had been back and he was just now getting to her. "How long?" Spike didn't answer. "How long have you been alive?"
"Four years." Spike said.
Buffy stood up and stalked way. She cried softly to herself, not wanting to talk to him about it. How could he be alive for four years and not say anything to her about it? "I hate him." She said to herself. 'Cept she wasn't alone.
"You hate me slayer?" Spike said.
"Right now I do." She said, tears still staining her face. "How could you Spike? How could you be alive and not tell me… I though you…"
"I do Buffy." He said. "Oh god Buffy I do. I still love you as much as I did before. It's just…"
"What Spike?" She said. "After what I told you when you died, did you think that you were so right that you couldn't tell me you were alive? Did you think that I wouldn't care?"
"Slayer it wasn't like that. I wanted ya to think I was a hero." He said. "Hero's don't come back."
"Hey!" She said. "I came back and so did…" She stopped. She was going to say Angel, but she knew that was a line she shouldn't cross. "You." She said. "And you came back."
Spike's eyes lit up and a small smirk came across her face. "Ya are callin' me a hero?"
"You saved me." She said. "You saved the whole world."
"I feel a tear comin' on slayer. You callin' me a hero." He said.
She gave him a horrible look. "Shut up Spike." She said. She didn't mean it and he knew it.
"You forgive me slayer?" He asked.
She looked at him, a little uncertain if she should or not. "I don't know Spike. It hurts." She said.
Spike walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Want me to make it up to you?"
Buffy looked at him. He was the strength that she had needed to get through those last few months in Sunnydale. He was her everything, the only person that stood by her through everything. "No." She said. "Just go." She said breaking away from him.
Buffy-
Something inside me was in pain. I knew that I would never fully forgive myself for letting him think I didn't love him. I should have told him, made him see that I did love him. We were back to square one, were he loved me and I was hiding. My friends understood how I felt, they had seen me morn. Willow had told me that she would never think any less of me if I went back to him. She told me that she wanted me to, that she wanted me to be happy. She said that I was lucky, that I had my soul mate with me. Now I guess Willow is with hers. I looked at Spike, something that I did a lot since he had returned. "I love you." I said to him. He was sitting in the hot tube, just staring at me, and suddenly his eyes got wide at my voice.
"What?"
"I love you." I told him again. Then I leaned over and kissed him. I let him bring me closer and hold me as the bubbles of the tube flowed around us.
"I love you too slayer." He said to me. And for the first time in almost six years, I finally felt some sense of peace, some way of knowing that everything would be okay. It was a way of knowing that I would finally be happy. And I knew deep down inside that somewhere, Willow had that same feeling as she laid wrapped up in the arms of her long lost lover.
A/N: Naturally I love Willow and killing her off is a hard task for me. But I thought, she should be with Tara. Review with thoughts.