Paige stared into the mirror over her dresser, analyzing her appearance critically. It was the Monday after Paige had been crowned Queen, and she knew that she was going to be the center of everyone's attention, which was exactly where she belonged. She had to look unbelievably gorgeous. She had woken up at five that morning to sculpt her locks into perfect golden curls, and had spent the last half hour trying to pick an appropriate outfit. She wanted something classy, something that screamed "I am your Queen! Bow down to me!" in big, bold letters. Unlike most of the sluts at Degrassi, Paige had never pranced around in skimpy, skanky outfits. She had always carried herself with grace and poise, just like her mother had taught her. A major aspect of being Paige Michealchuck was making sure that you always looked one step ahead of everyone else.
She stared at her reflection. She looked beautiful in an adorable, flared jean skirt, and an off-the-shoulder black top that showed off the tan she still had from summer. Her hair glistened, and she'd spent forever slaving over her makeup, making sure she used all the perfect colors to accent her eyes and skin tone. She looked flawless.
But she couldn't help but feel incredibly fake.
She was putting on an act. Hey, that was nothing new. She'd been doing it ever since the beginning of fifth grade, when she'd come home from the fat camp her mother had sent her to. Yes, Paige had been a fat ass. She'd never admit it to anyone who hadn't known her back then, but she'd been fat. She still threatened Ashley on a daily basis not to talk about it. And her mother never let her forget. So when summer rolled around after fourth grade, instead of going to Girl Scout camp with Ashley and Terri like she'd planned, her mother shipped her off to some child-labor camp where they'd make children eat bark and exercise every minute of the day. Although she'd despised it, she'd actually come home thirty pounds lighter and with a whole new attitude about herself. In other words, she became a stuck-up little bitch. But no one cared, because she was skinny.
Paige was the first to admit she'd been an obnoxious snot until ninth grade. But then, Dean had raped her, and it was like absolutely everything changed. She'd stopped caring about all the superficial and useless crap she used to be obsessed with. She became a much deeper person, but of course, she tried to hide it. But she kept on dressing like a Barbie doll and bossing people around, simply because that's what everyone expected her to do. Even though people acted like they hated her, that was the Paige they all knew and secretly loved. Paige Michealchuck, bitch extraordinaire. But at least she knew how to keep things interesting. There was never a dull moment with her.
But now that she was senior in high school, it was like, who cared? Paige didn't. She hated feeling so fake and superficial. She hated trying to maintain her reputation as the fiercest, most perfect, most lovable girl in school.
Paige stepped back from the mirror and plopped down on her bed, grabbing a box from underneath her mattress. She rolled over onto her stomach and opened the lid. Inside were a few photos and Paige picked them up. They weren't pictures of her and Spinner. No, she proudly displayed those pictures on her dresser, in expensive frames. She tacked those up on her bulletin board and hung them in her locker. These were pictures of her and Jimmy. The ones she kept under her bed. They were hidden, just like their relationship.
Most of them were taken when they'd found the rare opportunities to escape together, like times when both Spin and Hazel were busy. After a few minutes, Paige dropped them into the box and shoved it angrily back under the bed. What was the point? Jimmy and Paige weren't together anymore. She'd made sure of it.
God, she wished she could just get the balls to stop caring about what other people would think about her and Jimmy. She wished she had the balls to just say fuck them and to start dating Jimmy openly. She wished she could be one of those girls, like Riley Corey and Ellie Nash, who didn't worry about their reputations. And when people did talk about them, they didn't give a fuck. They did whatever the hell they wanted, without any apologies. Paige loathed them for it. She wished she could stop caring so much about her image. If people found out about her and Jimmy, it would be the scandal of the year, and people would hate her for it. Paige already hated herself for it. She couldn't believe she had been doing that to her boyfriend and best friend.
Twenty minutes later, Paige was strolling confidently through the hallway, aware that all eyes were on her. "Congratulations, Queen!" Jade Farley called out, patting Paige on the shoulder as she walked by. Paige blew her a kiss, trying to bask in the glory. She smiled while people kept calling out and congratulating her, but she just felt like a big, fake, back-stabbing liar. If they knew the truth, they wouldn't have voted her Autumn Queen. She knew it.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She ducked into the girl's bathroom and leaned against the sink. Then, she went into a stall, shut the door behind her, and threw up. When she was finished, she flushed the toilette and stepped out. And came face-to-face with Ashley Kerwin.
"Uh, hey, girl," Paige said, smiling. "I love your shirt."
Ashley was staring uneasily at her. "Were you just….throwing up?"
"Um, I must have eaten something," Paige replied breezily, stepping around Ashley to the sink. "That's the last time I let Dylan make me an omelet for breakfast." She turned on the faucet.
Ashley took a deep breath. "Paige…is it…maybe something else?"
"What?"
"I know you've always been self-conscious about your body. And lots of girls are," Ashley explained. "But there are right ways to lose weight, and wrong ways-"
"Are you saying I have an eating disorder?" Paige asked in disbelief, staring at Ashley in the mirror.
"I don't know….do you?"
Paige snatched her purse off the counter and whirled around. "You don't know anything," Paige hissed, glaring at Ashley. "You have no idea what you're talking about. Can't you ever mind your own business?"
"I'm just trying to help-"
"Well, don't," Paige said. She hurried out of the bathroom, as fast as her strappy black sandals would let her. She hurried down the hall and then stopped, leaning against the wall.
Ashley has no idea what she's talking about, Paige said, gulping in some air as she took a few deep breaths. Paige didn't have an eating disorder. In fact, right now, her weight was the last thing on her mind. But could she explain it to Ashley? No. Ashley just wouldn't understand. She wouldn't understand about Jimmy, either. So that's why Paige knew it was best to keep everything- everything- to herself.
She glanced at her reflection in the mirror of the trophy case across the hall. Hey, everyone has secrets.
Riley walked through the crowded hallway Monday morning, still completely hung over from the night before. She'd been dragged yet again to another "society function" by her mother, where she had gotten hammered, made out with a yummy Italian boy, and then promptly passed out in the woman's restroom. Since apparently no one had bothered to look for her, she'd woken up at dawn that morning, sprawled across the sofa in the woman's lounge. Riley could barely open her eyes, let alone walk in a straight line. As she rounded a corner, she slammed into some girl, and stumbled back. "Jesus fuck," she snapped, rubbing her forehead. The girl mumbled an apology and scurried off. After an eternity, Riley finale made it to her locker, flicked the lock, and opened it. My head is killing me, she thought miserably, sticking her head into the dark locker and closing her eyes. That's better-
"Riley?"
Riley pulled her head out and blinked. "Yeah?"
"Here," the mousy blonde said, handing Riley a flier. Riley couldn't remember seeing her before, but thought her name might be Maggie. Who the hell knew? And it's not like Riley really cared. Riley took the flier and glanced at it. "Abstinence? You've got to be kidding me."
The girl hugged her binder to her chest and shook her head. "Uh, no. Actually, it's a youth group about leading a pure, good, fulfilling life, but this meeting is focused specifically on abstinence. We thought maybe you could benefit from it."
"What the hell does that mean?" Riley asked coldly, narrowing her eyes. But she knew exactly what the girl meant. In other words, I'm a dirty whore.
The girl blinked, and smiled widely. "Nothing! Actually, I've been handing them out to a lot of the girls. It's really inspirational. I love it. It's just changed my whole life."
"So it's like, a gathering of virgins?"
"Well, we don't put it like that. We're not a cult," the girl explained, laughing loudly. Riley just stared and stuck a piece of gum into her mouth. "Anyway….we'd love it if you'd just come and give us a try. You won't regret it. I love it."
"Hmm…well, I'd love to attend, but I'm going to be busy this afternoon." She spit her gum into the flier, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it into her locker. "Having a lot of sex."
The girl giggled hesitantly, but Riley could tell she wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. "Uh….ok. That's too bad. But if you, uh, get the time think about coming. It's so worth it." She gave Riley another large smile, and practically skipped off down the hallway, her blonde ponytail bouncing behind her. Riley smirked. Those pure do-gooder types bugged the hell out of her. Why were virgins always so happy? It's not like they were having sex or anything. She turned back to her locker and saw Manny approaching her own locker a few feet away. Riley grabbed the flier and threw it at Manny. "Here. Got a present for you."
Manny picked it up and tried to open it. "Ew. There's gum in it." She stopped and read it. "Ha ha. Very funny. This can't possibly be yours."
"Nope. Got it off some virgin. Maybe you and Craig should go. It might inspire you to lead cleaner lives."
Manny sniffed unhappily and stared into her locker. "Actually…Craig dumped me."
"Ouch. Sorry. Well, Craig's a douche-bag, anyway. That's no big surprise. You can do better. Craig's not exactly Mr. Charming, you know," Riley pointed out, subtly nodding her head behind her, where Ashley was getting a sip of water from the water fountain. Manny just blew a stray strand of hair out of her face, and frowned. "He loved me."
Riley slammed her locker shut and banged her head against it. "I'm sure he did. But please do not go into a deep depression over Mr. Moody-Rock-Star! We're officially into phase "move-on". Wanna come over this afternoon? I got some awesome weed. We can get really high and flirt with the pool boy. You love that."
"Not in the mood," Manny said blandly. "Besides, the pool boy is gay."
"No, he's not. Pablo is just…confused."
"Whatever. I just don't feel like it." Manny closed her locker. Riley shrugged. "Alright. We can go to this gay virgin meeting. You know, just for kicks and giggles. I bet they'll say a bunch of stupid crap, and we can laugh our asses off. It'll be funny."
Manny shook her head. "No. Maybe another time. Besides, I should go to cheerleading practice. Bye." Manny walked off, leaving Riley alone. Riley sighed. When Manny was sad, she made sure everyone around her was as equally miserable. Riley had seen Manny like this before; she'd mope around and eat a lot of ice cream and ponder the mysteries and cruelty of life. And then she'd be back to her normal self in a few days, and Craig would probably get back together with her. Because Craig always got back together with Manny. This time would be no different.
Hopefully.
Emma wandered down the hall later that afternoon, her mind a complete mess. After the disaster of Saturday night, Emma was not only horribly confused, but she also felt like a huge slut. She had intentionally avoided Sean's phone calls all weekend. She couldn't possibly talk to him, not after what she'd done. Emma was still horrified with herself- what kind of girlfriend lost her virginity to her boyfriend's best friend?
Emma was so lost in her thoughts that she ended up bumping into someone, and her books fell out of her arms and onto the floor. She looked up and saw Jay standing in her front of her, staring at her. When she was finally over her initial shock, she sighed angrily and bent down to collect her things. Just ignore him, she thought to herself. Maybe he'll get the hint and just go away. To her dismay, Jay squatted down and began picking up some of her things. Even though it was a nice gesture, Emma was annoyed. Since when does Jay lend a helping hand? "I got it, thanks," Emma snapped, yanking her notebook out of his hands.
Jay sighed. "Look, Emma….about the other night…"
"I don't…I don't want to talk about it," she stuttered, standing up. "In fact, let's pretend it never happened."
Jay coughed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah…we should probably do that. But I just wanted to-"
"Jay, please," Emma said, holding up a hand. "Some other time, ok? Just not…not now."
"Fine," Jay mumbled, slipping his sunglasses onto his face. "Whatever." He turned and walked down the hallway to one of the exit door, pushed it open, and stepped outside. Emma watched him go, feeling strangely conflicted inside. Had Jay just actually…looked sad? This was the boy without any human emotions, right? Well, except maybe greed and hate, which he had perfected well. Emma bent down and went back to picking up her things, telling herself she shouldn't really care what Jay Hogart was feeling.
"Hey, bony-ass," Emma heard someone say from behind her, and next thing she knew, the person kicked her, and she fell over onto her pile of books. "Whoops! Sorry. I forgot you're so scrawny."
Emma sat up and rubbed her elbow. "Ow. That's ok. I think I only fractured my elbow."
"Did you drop your books?" Emma nodded. "Jay bumped into me. It was sufficiently awkward." Emma stood up. Riley shrugged. "Understandably. Did he say anything?"
"Not really."
"Hey…you're ok, right?" Riley asked, putting a supportive hand on her friend's shoulder.
"Yeah."
"That's good. Uh…I'm sorry about…you know. Putting you in Jay's car and all that…"
"Don't be," Emma said quickly. "It's my fault. I'm the one to blame. You weren't even there."
Riley looked away and cleared her throat. If only Emma knew the truth...If there was any time to own up to what she'd done, this was it. "Uh, yeah. I guess your right."
"I don't want to talk about it, really," Emma said, taking a shaky breath. "I've already thought about it enough." She smiled bravely and stuck her head high in the air. "Come on." She turned and walked confidently down the hall, and stopped at the bulletin board in front of the main office. Riley followed her and saw Emma staring at the board. "What are you staring at?"
"The sign-up sheet for Romeo and Juliet," Emma explained. "I signed up for it last week. I just love the play. It's a story about how true love conquers all." She thought about Sean, and hoped their love could conquer anything. Like, say, a stupid, meaningless hook-up with his best friend.
"But don't Juliet and Romeo, like, die?"
Emma nodded. "Yes. But that's not the point. The point is, they loved each other enough to die for each other. That's how strong their bond was. They gave up their lives to be together."
"But they didn't even have to die," Riley pointed out. "I mean, Juliet was faking, right? If Romeo hadn't been such a pussy drama-queen and just waited a bit, she would have woken up and they could have run off to Vegas or something. But no. Juliet wakes up and finds the dude dead, and goes and stabs herself. And for what?"
"For love," Emma said in frustration. "They could be together in the after life….never mind. You obviously don't get it."
"Guess not," Riley said flippantly. She turned and yanked the sign-up sheet off the board, ripping the staple out with it. Emma opened her mouth to say something, but then realized that lecturing Riley was just like lecturing a dog. They pretended to listen, but they didn't comprehend a thing. "Let's see. Juliet. Marcie Conner-whore. Emily Angle. She's got really sick hair. And of course, Emma Nelson, the finest actress in all the land." Emma smiled and blushed.
Riley waved the paper in Emma's face. "Now, who's going to be your leading man? Let's see….Romeo. Jack Woods. He's pretty sexy, if not a bit of a drama freak. Tommy Lawlor…I hooked up with him. He's hott, but he didn't know what the hell was going on, if you know what I mean." Riley paused and looked down at the paper again. She began giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, god. That's priceless."
"What?" Emma asked. Riley just put a hand over her mouth and kept laughing. "What are you snickering about?" Emma grabbed the paper out of Riley's hand and stared at it. Her jaw dropped open. "Jay Hogart? What? This has got to be a joke. Someone probably signed him up to be funny."
Riley shook her head, still giggling. "No. Jay's the only seventeen-year-old I know who scribbles like a kindergartner."
"This isn't funny!" Emma hissed. Riley nodded.
"You're right. It's just….he obviously wants to get closer to you. He must like you now. Emma, I do declare, I think Jay is in love with you," Riley purred in a southern accent.
"Don't say that. I have no idea what Jay is doing trying out for the play, but it has nothing to do with me," Emma said confidently.
"You're in denial."
"Riley, just shut up for once," Emma snapped, pining the sheet back onto the board. "Look, what happened between us was a big mistake. It didn't mean anything. I still hate Jay, and Jay hates me. End of story. Now excuse me, but I'm going to go….do something else." Emma gave Riley one last withering look, and stomped off. Riley just smirked. This was perfect. She felt like she'd struck gold. Jay was falling for Emma. So the plot thickens, Riley thought, turning and scribbling her name down on the sign-up sheet. She didn't even really care what part she got. She'd be right there to make sure Emma and Jay got some quality time together.
"Ok, girls, we need to clean up our jump combinations, because their looking incredibly sloppy," Paige yelled across the gym, clapping her hands for attention. "Hello? Did anyone hear me? I want everyone to line up and try their combination again. We could all use the work. Especially you, Manny. It might help if you showed up to practice occasionally," she said to Manny, who was standing in the back.
"I'm here, aren't I?" Manny replied, with a bit more attitude than Paige would have liked. But Paige decided to drop it, because it didn't look good to get into a fight in the middle of cheerleading practice. A captain always had to keep her cool. She tightened the high pony-tail on top of her head and clapped again. "Alright. Get to work, ladies. Competitions are in a few weeks, and I want this team to look crisp."
Paige watched for a second as the girls scrambled into a line and began working on their individual jump combinations. Then, after a minute, she wandered over to the bleachers and sat down. This team would suck without me, she thought, watching as Manny completely messed up her Y-leap. God, the girl didn't even pretend to look like she was trying. Last year, Manny had been one of the most dedicated girls on the squad. Paige had considered her one of the strongest athletes on the team. She'd even been planning to hand down her captainship to her when she graduated. But then, of course, the whole Craig-fiasco had happened, and Manny's reputation had plummeted right down the drain. Not that Paige really cared about reputation- all she wanted was a fucking awesome cheerleader, which Manny was. But then, at some point during the end of last year, Manny had simply quit trying.
"Excuse me, Paige, but why aren't you working on your combo?" Heather Sinclair asked snottily, placing her hands on her fat hips.
"To be honest, Heather, I don't need as much work as the rest of you," Paige lied, smiling sweetly. "I thought I'd be more of a help sitting back and watching all of you. By the way, you're form is getting really sloppy. Your arms are flying all over the place. That's something you might want to work on."
Heather narrowed her eyes and snorted. "I think we all know the real reason she's sitting out, anyway," she whispered to her friend, and she turned to walk away. Paige stood up and folded her arms over her chest. "Excuse me? Is there something you'd like to say?"
Heather turned around. "I said, we all know why you're really sitting out."
"And why is that?"
Heather glanced around. "You really want me to say it? In front of everyone?"
"Go ahead," Paige challenged. "What? You don't have the courage to say it to my face?"
Heather stuck her chin in the air. "Fine. We've all heard about your eating disorder. You must be pretty weak from all that throwing up."
Paige's mouth fell open in shock. Heather just stared at her smugly, while all the other girls glanced at each other hesitantly. There was a dead silence, and Paige took a shaky breath. She couldn't believe that Ashley, one of her so-called "best friends" had blabbed to the whole school that she had thrown up in the bathroom. Paige was learning fast that she couldn't trust anyone anymore. Paige stomped down the bleachers and stormed out of the gymnasium. She heard Hazel calling after her, but she didn't stop. She ran down the hall and into the girl's bathroom. A few seconds later, the door opened behind her.
"Hazel, just go away…" Paige began, but she looked up and saw Manny standing by the door. "Oh. It's you."
"Are you ok? Heather is a jerk. A really ugly jerk."
Paige turned on the faucet. "Why should I give a shit about what Heather Sinclair says?" she said defensively, mindlessly washing her hands for no reason. She just needed something to do. "What is this? Are you trying to score points with me by sucking up?"
Manny shrugged. "No offense, but impressing you isn't high on my list of priorities. Actually…I just know what it's like to have people talking about you. It's not fun." Paige said nothing. She just kept scrubbing her hands. "You know…my cousin Maria had an eating disorder. She just wanted to lose a few pounds, but it turned into this whole big thing, and she ended up-"
"Manny," Paige interrupted, turning off the faucet. "I…don't…have….an…eating….disorder."
Manny nodded. "Ok. But let's say you did. They have some really good clinics for-"
"Manny, for God's sake, I'm not bulimic. I'm…I'm pregnant, ok?"
Manny looked shocked. She clearly hadn't been expecting that. "Wow. Um…wow. Well, that's actually really great news. Babies can be wonderful things…"
"Manny…you don't understand."
"Then why don't you explain it to me? I'm just trying to help."
"Spin and I….have never had sex." That was probably the shock of the century, considering most people thought Paige was a sexpert. The idea that Spin and Paige, who had been dating for almost three years, still hadn't had sex was unthinkable.
Manny's eyes widened, finally understanding. "Oh."
Paige whirled around. "Look, I swear, if you tell anyone, I'll kick you off the Spirit Squad. And you'll be ruined at this school forever."
Manny didn't bother to explain to Paige that she would love it if Paige kicked her off the team. She'd been waiting for Paige to give her the boot for months. She had actually been trying so hard to suck at cheerleading. And she decided not to mention that her reputation was basically already destroyed, anyway. But obviously Paige felt she held some kind of power with that, so Manny pretended to look scared. "Ok! You have my word. No one hears about this."
"….And I'll tell Craig about your little drug problem."
"What?" Manny said, hoping that Paige was joking. But Paige was glaring at her with a frown on her pretty face, and Manny knew she was completely serious. The first rule of keeping a secret- deny, deny, deny. "I don't know what you're talking-"
"Please. This is me you're talking too," Paige said, pointing to her chest. "Ken Walker told me all about it. I bet Craig doesn't know that his little girlfriend is actually a drug addict…."
"Shut up," Manny snapped, on the verge of tears. It didn't even matter that she wasn't Craig's "little girlfriend" anymore. He'd still be disgusted with her all the same. "I am not. Why are you being so mean? I haven't done anything to you."
"Maybe not yet," Paige said, stepping closer to Manny. "I'm just warning you. I play dirty."
Manny swallowed hard. "I said I'd keep my mouth shut. I promise. You're secret is safe with me."
This is stupid, Sean warned himself as he drummed his hands against the steering wheel as he stared at the modest, white house in front of him. She's probably not even home. She probably doesn't even want to talk to you. He had ditched school early just to come here. Actually, Sean was positive that Ellie didn't want to talk to him. Sean should really just forget about Ellie Nash. She was part of his past, something he had to let go of. Kind of like Riley Corey. Except he knew that, unlike Riley, if he let go of Ellie, she was never coming back. And Sean just wasn't sure if he was ready to do that. He had Emma, who was the perfect girlfriend, but Sean would be lying if he didn't admit that he still felt something for Ellie. He'd known it the moment he'd seen her at the bus stop, drunk off her ass. He'd just wanted to reach out and hold her. He'd wanted to take her home and save her from all her problems. Because Christ, she needed help.
But he wasn't the guy to help her. Not anymore.
Sean finally unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door. He walked up the cobble-stone pathway to the front door. He rang the doorbell and knocked once. He heard footsteps inside, and finally the front door opened. It was Ellie's Mom, and Sean cringed. Ellie's mother had always despised him for unknown reasons. She'd always had a scathing insult for him, and never failed to make fun of him because his family had less money than they did. He hated Mrs. Nash. She was a drunken bitch, and she'd treated Ellie like shit. "Hello, Mrs. Nash. Is Ellie around?"
"Sean?" she asked, blinking and swaying slightly. She was drunk. Surprise, surprise. "Sean Cameron?"
"Yeah. Is Ellie here?"
She leaned heavily against the doorway, peering at him through heavily lidded eyes. "Nope. Ellie don't live here no more." She started chuckling.
"I heard she'd moved back here," Sean said uneasily.
"Well she did," Mrs. Nash said matter-of-factly, shaking her head. "For a few days. But no. Ellie thought she was too good for us. We were never good enough for her. We weren't the "perfect" parents," she slurred, using her fingers for quotation marks. "I guess loving her just wasn't enough. She moved out a few days ago."
"Do you have any idea where she might be?"
Mrs. Nash folded her arms over her chest. She stared at him. "Eh, you're not so bad. Better than that other loser she's been dating. Maybe I underestimated you, Steve. I'll let you in on a little secret." She leaned forward and exaggerated a wink. Sean felt embarrassed for both of them. "She's living in an apartment building. The one right next to Bert's Deli? Not sure which apartment, but she's there. I saw her outside, getting ready to go inside. I told her I wanted her to come home." She laughed sadly. "She told me to fuck off."
Sean slowly began backing away. "Ok…thanks, Mrs. Nash."
She leaned out the door. "Steve?" she called out. Sean didn't bother to correct her.
"Yeah?"
"If you find her, tell her I love her. Tell her I'm sorry. Please?" And a second later, Mrs. Nash shut the door.
Sean stood in front of apartment 4D, trying to get the courage to knock. After asking around, he'd found out exactly where Ellie was staying. All he had to do was mention her flaming red hair and everyone knew who he was talking about. In fact, he'd heard a few stories about her, too. He'd asked a man who was leaving the building with his dog, and the man had just chuckled. "Red? Yeah, I've seen her. She lives in apartment 4D. That one….always wandering in and out of here at all hours of the night and day. Keeps to herself, mostly. I'll tell you, my wife and I have complained a few times about noise coming from that apartment. That boy of hers is one of the loudest people I have ever meant."
Sean finally raised his hand and rapped on the door twice. A minute later the door swung open. Sean stared at the guy standing in front of him. His brown hair stood up in pointy spikes all over his head, and he looked like he hadn't bothered to shave in a few days. His grungy clothes hung loosely on his thin frame, and Sean spotted a small silver hoop in his ear. He looked like he'd just woken up. The guy yawned and squinted at Sean. "Did I order a pizza?" he asked, propping his lankly arms on either side of the door. "Is it pepperoni?"
"Uh…no," Sean said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He wondered if they guy even noticed that he obviously wasn't holding a pizza. "I'm kind of looking for Ellie. Ellie Nash."
"Yeah, I know who Ellie is. Uh. And who are you?" he asked, although Sean got the impression this guy didn't really care. He got the impression that this guy didn't care about much in general.
"Sean Cameron."
The guy straightened up and rubbed his tired eyes, which were so bright blue that Sean could see right through them. "So you're Sean?" He smirked. "Look, buddy…what the fuck are you doing here?"
Sean took a deep breath. So the guy had heard about him. Eh, that wasn't shocking. Ellie had probably explained what an asshole he was. "We're both men here-"
Brice chuckled. "Men. Yeah, alright. Why don't you come back here when you've hit puberty?"
"I just need to say some things to Ellie. I just want to talk to her."
Brice shook his head. "That's touching, really. But I've heard about you. Ellie's my fucking girlfriend now, dude. And she doesn't want to talk to you. Ever. So I don't want to see you hanging around here again, ok? Ellie's done with you." He stepped back and slammed the door in Sean's face.
Sean kicked angrily at the carpet. So that was Ellie's new boyfriend. He wasn't what Sean had been expecting. He looked twenty, at least. And he seemed to have his shit together a lot better than Sean did. It was typical. Girls always fell for the older, more mature guys who promised them the world. But Sean still got the feeling that Ellie's boyfriend was bad news. But that was Ellie. She'd always been throwing caution to the wind, doing whatever she pleased.
Sean finally wandered to the staircase and jogged down the stairs. He walked through the lobby and out the revolving doors. Outside the autumn air was crisp and cool. He began walking down the sidewalk to where he had parked his car, but he stopped when he spotted a flier tacked onto a telephone pole. There was a grainy picture of a band performing, and the guy who was singing into the microphone was Ellie's boyfriend. LIVE PERFORMANCE at METROPOLITAN, it read. Sean grabbed the flier and tore it off. Yeah, he'd heard about the Metropolitan. It was a hot club downtown that had new bands playing every week.
Ellie would be there, of course. And if Ellie was there, then Sean would be, too. He was bordering on stalker status, but Sean couldn't help it. He'd go there and make Ellie listen to him, and Mr. Boyfriend would be too busy playing rock star to get in the way.
Ellie stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy white towel around herself. She stepped in front of the mirror and cringed when she saw the cuts and scratches on her pale arms. She hated them. She hated feeling like such a freak. Such a psycho. She knew what people would say. They'd pretend to be all compassionate and understanding, but they would never understand. They could never comprehend why someone would hurt themselves like that. Cutting was an addiction. It could make you feel so good, and it could make you feel so bad.
She'd never told Brice. There had never been that right place, the right time to bring it up. It's not that he wouldn't care- it's just she didn't want to lay that burden on him. She'd told Sean. Why, she'd never really know. It had freaked him out at first, but after awhile he'd started to understand.
Of course, Brice had seen the scars. They were hard to miss. She remembered the first time he'd seen them. It was the first time they had had sex and the first time he'd seen Ellie without her usual long-sleeved shirts.
"Hey, what's that?" Brice had asked, staring at the cuts on her thighs and arms.
She'd been so afraid he's dump her. And at that point, she knew she'd die with Brice. It was that simple.
"My Dad…used to beat me," Ellie lied. And poor Brice. He'd actually believed her. He hadn't even noticed when new cuts and bruises appeared. Or maybe he hadn't wanted to notice. Sometimes she wondered if he knew the truth, but just wanted to pretend it didn't exist. Brice did that with a lot of things. He just tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Ellie did it, too. And things were so much simpler when they were fooling themselves. In some sense, their whole relationship was an act. But neither of them wanted to change it. Things were going so perfectly. Why fuck it up now?
Ellie ran a comb through her wet hair, and then twisted it into two neat pigtails. As she did, she heard voices in the living room. Then she heard the front door slam shut. Curious, she opened the bathroom door and stepped out. "Hey, who was that?"
Brice turned and faced her. "Oh, no one. Just some pizza-delivery guy who got the address mixed up."
"Oh."
"So you ready for the concert tomorrow? He asked, walking toward her and pulling off his gray t-shirt. "Your boyfriend is going to be kicking ass onstage." Brice stopped and started head-banging as he played the air guitar. Ellie rolled her eyes at his stupidity. "I can just see it now. The money, the record deals, the screaming girls going crazy…"
"Should I be jealous?" Ellie joked, raising an eyebrow. Brice smiled and shook his head.
"Nah. Why would I be interested in other girls when I've got the hottest one around?" he asked, walking past to the bathroom. He slapped her on the butt, and Ellie jumped. "You done with the bathroom?"
"Yeah."
"Good," Brice said, winking and closing the bathroom door. A second later she heard the shower running. Ellie hurried into the bedroom to choose something hot to wear for the concert. After all, with all those slutty girls around, she had to make sure Brice only had eyes for her.
Jay sat on the hood if his car, holding a copy of the play Romeo and Juliet, and scratching his head as he tried to figure out what the hell it meant. Man, William Shakespeare must have been on crack, he thought, turning the page. But, even though he couldn't understand half of it, he was actually enjoying the play. It was probably the first piece of literature that Jay had ever read in his life. Usually he just read Play Boy and sports magazines.
Alex and Amy walked up, laughing. Jay hardly even noticed. Alex snatched the book out of his hand and stared at it. "Oh, I thought it was a car magazine. What is this? Romeo and Juliet?"
"Yeah," Jay mumbled defensively, grabbing it back. "I was reading it."
"You can read?" Amy asked, laughing.
"Just because you can't doesn't mean you have to get all jealous. Don't worry- you'll learn someday," Jay retorted, grabbing a twig and throwing it at her. Amy frowned. "Ow. That hurt."
Jay shrugged and went back to concentrating on the play. He'd never really cared for Amy. She had a big rack, but she also had a big mouth. A big, obnoxious mouth. He only tolerated her for Alex's sake.
"Wait," Alex said. "You're not seriously trying out for this play, are you?"
"Maybe."
"That's so gay!" Amy said. This time Jay threw a rock at her. "Jay, stop it!" she squealed. "Fine. I'm leaving. Alex, call me later, ok?" Amy stomped off. Jay smiled. Alex waved to her friend and turned back to her boyfriend. "Um…since when are you into acting? What happened to making fun of the theater kids?"
"Maybe I just feel like expanding my horizon. Try new things and all that."
Jay didn't want to admit the real reason he was trying out for the play. He really didn't give a shit about Romeo and Juliet. He just wanted to get closer to Emma. And when he'd noticed her name on the sign-up sheet, he'd put his name down without really thinking. He figured maybe he could impress her. Maybe he could show her there was more to Jay than just making fun of losers and fixing cars and drinking.
"What's wrong with you? You're being so weird lately," Alex said, climbing onto his lap. She kissed his neck and smiled. "What's up?"
Jay frowned and pushed her off his lap. "You're ass is kind of bony. You're hurting my leg."
Alex frowned. "You've never had any complaints about my ass before."
Jay shrugged. "Yeah, well…" He stuck the play into his backpack and jumped off the car. "Ready to go?" Alex just glared and walked around to the passenger's side. Once they were both inside, Jay started the engine and sped out of the parking lot. They drove in silence for a few minutes, until they finally stopped in front of Alex's house. Jay killed the engine. "Ok. See you tomorrow."
Alex didn't move. "That's it? My parents aren't going to be home till ten. Don't you want to come inside….?" She put a seductive hand on his leg.
Usually, Jay would have been sprinting to the house by now, pulling off his clothes as he went. But now…he just wasn't turned on anymore. Alex was gorgeous and feisty and great in bed, but it just wasn't there anymore. He couldn't believe it. "Actually….I should probably get home and practice my lines. Auditions are tomorrow."
"I'm in the fucking twilight zone," Alex mumbled, staring out the window. She glanced at him quickly. "Are you fucking around on me? Is there someone else?"
"No!" Jay said a little too quickly. "I just….really want this part."
Alex glared at him, and then unbuckled her seat belt. She opened the door. "I don't know what's going on with you," she said, climbing out of the car. "But you better believe I'm going to find out." She slammed the door shut and walked away. Jay sighed and started the car.
As he drove home, Jay wondered what the hell he was doing. After just one night with Emma, he couldn't stop thinking about her. It's like she had somehow invaded his brain and was fucking with it. Romeo and Juliet? She had even gotten him to try out for the school play. He wasn't even turned on anymore by Alex, and he had just opted to go home and spend quality time with a book instead of having sex with his girlfriend. There was no doubt about it- Emma had somehow managed to weasel her way into his life without even trying. And now, even though he was trying to fight it, he knew he was falling for her. Hard. Jay had always considered Emma a stuck-up geek, but now he was doing gay shit like trying out for the play just to get close to her. Welcome to the land of the nerds.
I am in the fucking twilight zone, he thought.
Author's Note- Ugh! It's been forever since I've updated, but I've been really busy and haven't had alot of free time. Sorry if this chapter isn't that great, but I was kind of hurrying to finish it up. I guess I've just felt a little uninspired lately...But I hope to be putting out more chapters fasters, and maybe even starting a new story. Please read and review and tell me what you think. There's going to be more Sean/Ellie, Emma/Jay, and Craig/Ash in the next chapt.
And for those of you who think I'm focusing too much on Riley...I absolutely agree. But I admit I sometimes have more fun with new characters, just because I can do whatever I want with them. Riley is kind of going to play a part in everyone's storylines, and that's why I was putting so much focus on her.She's going to have a softer side soon, andmight actually start doing the right thing...But I'll tone it down a bit, and will try to focus on other characters! But thanks for pointing that out.