Warning: Chapter contains violence, blood, and suicide attempt.

Chapter 3

(Kenshin)

I continued to go to my classes and hang out with the others like normal after that day, but I could sense something was different. Megumi was more soft-spoken around me, and Sano was slightly more cautious. But other than that they were all the same as normal. Kaoru became a constant visitor to my room, and soon it was down to where I could time her arrival. She was my best friend, and I knew that she would stand by me no matter what.

There was only one thing that worried both Shinta and I. I was beginning to get more comfortable around Kaoru, and she around me. She touched me more often, and Shinta was often out to talk to her.

I was falling in love in Kaoru, slowly but surely. And this worried me on more than one level. What if I wanted to marry her like I did Tomoe? What if He got loose again? I didn't think I could stand losing another woman that I cared for to Him.

I sighed. Kaoru was due to come in a few moments. She always came around 7 at night, for we would eat after talking for a while. It was already dark, and I wandered around with no lights on. Closing my laptop I went to sit on my bed, rubbing my temples lightly. I could feel the headache coming on, and I knew this was going to be one of those bad days. My stomach was doing flips in my belly, and I felt as though I was going to throw up any moment. This resulted in me being in a bad mood, and I felt like I wanted to just shut everyone out and be by myself.

/Kenshin/ Shinta's quiet voice broke into my thoughts. /Are you sure you want to let Kaoru in today? We don't want Him to get out and hurt her…/

/Shut up Shinta! You're not helping my headache/ I snapped. Shinta receded, instantly becoming silent. The pounding in my head was growing worse, and then my thoughts were interrupted as a gentle knock came on my door. I rose quickly and opened it to see Kaoru standing there.

"Hello Kenshin. How are you feeling today?" she asked with a smile, stepping into my apartment. I shut the door, not answering her for fear of snapping at her like I had Shinta. I could feel the distrust coming from my younger personality, and I knew that he was afraid.

Kaoru watched me with worried sapphire eyes. "Kenshin?"

I sighed again and covered my eyes with a hand, sitting down at the table. "Gomen Kaoru, I'm just….." I paused searching for the right word. "Not feeling well."

She put a slender hand on my shoulder. "Do you need me to do anything for you?"
I shook my head, trying to ignore the pounding headache that had consumed most of my senses. "Iie Kaoru…."

Shinta's voice broke through the oncoming cloud of pain. /Kenshin… Something's not right…Send Kaoru away…/

/Shimatta Shinta! Be quiet/

I felt the force behind Shinta's next words. /Iie Kenshin. You send her out now, or I'm going to make us do it. He is too powerful today, He will escape our control./

At that moment a shooting pain went through my skull, and I keeled over, clutching my head. I barely heard Kaoru's voice as she frantically called my name, trying to get me to respond.

I felt the darkness in the back of my mind pulse and grow, and I realized for the first time that day why my head had hurt so badly, why I felt like I was going to be sick. He had been biding His time, and He had deemed now the right time to make His first appearance.

I opened my eyes and looked full at Kaoru, who was standing by the door, ready to go out and fetch Megumi or Sano to help me. I shoved her out of the door with as much force as I could muster through the ear-shattering pounding in my skull. "Go Kaoru! Get away from me!" I slammed the door shut behind her and locked it, then slid to the floor as everything around me went black when He gained control.

(Kaoru)

"Kenshin! Kenshin, open this door!" I screamed, slamming my fists against the wood in front of me.

There was no answer, only silence. I heard a sudden thud as soon as I heard the click of the lock, and I knew it was Kenshin's body hitting the floor. I hit the door harder, pleading for him to open his door and let me in. "Kenshin!"

My screams alerted Megumi and Sano, and soon they were standing beside me, Sano's face concerned and Megumi pulling my now bloodied knuckles from Kenshin's door. "Calm down Kaoru, what's wrong?" the woman asked me, holding me so I wouldn't go back to pounding on our shy friend's door.

"It's Kenshin!" I cried, still trying to struggle out of her grip. "I went to visit him, and he complained about not feeling good, then he shoved me outside after he nearly collapsed!" I looked hard at Sano. "Something's wrong with him, and he won't let me inside."

Sano took a deep breath and faced Kenshin's door, holding his left wrist with his right hand. He ran forward, setting his left shoulder against Kenshin's door and breaking the door from its latch. It swung open to reveal Kenshin slumped on the floor.

The room suddenly seemed darker, and I felt my heart quicken. I raised and hand and started to take a step, but then Kenshin raised his head. I nearly screamed in fear.

Two fiercely burning golden eyes peered from the dark curtain of Kenshin's bangs, burning into me with a fury I had never seen. There was a snarl on his lips, and I heard the growl echoing in his throat. The look on his face was better suited for an animal, some vicious beast, not our gentle Kenshin.

Kenshin suddenly lunged, fingers outstretched and curled into claw-like vices reaching for my throat. Sano slammed the door shut, holding the knob tightly. I heard the thud as Kenshin slammed into the door, and I heard his snarl of fury when he couldn't get to me. The door rattled and shook, and I heard the unmistakable sound of fingernails being dragged across the wood.

I had one hand clamped over my mouth to hold in a scream, and Megumi was shaking uncontrollably beside me. Sano held the door shut, but I could see he was struggling to hold it against Kenshin.

The shaking of the door stopped for a moment, and Sano took in a breath, slightly relaxing his grip. The door was suddenly yanked in and a hand covered in blood was thrust through the opening, snarls echoing through the hall. Blood ran in rivers from torn fingernails and ripped skin, creating a terrifying picture. I could barely see the glowing golden orbs filled with fury from the darkness of the room. Sano let out a yell when the blood covered fingers scrabbled at his hand, and he pulled on the door, catching the arm and eliciting a yelp of pain from Kenshin. The hand was pulled back with a hiss and Sano was able to shut the door again.

We stayed like this for nearly 10 minutes, when suddenly the door's rattling stopped again, and there was a thud as a body fell to the floor. Sano retained his vice-like grip on the door handle, until we heard the sounds of sobbing from the other side of the door. I pushed Sano away and opened the door slowly to see Kenshin laying on his futon, sobbing into his arms.

I went over slowly, glancing around the room as I did so. Blood was streaked along the floor; it looked as though he had dragged himself to his futon. As Sano walked in he shut the door behind him, and I was horrified to see the bloody runs left by fingernails along the door.

There was a knife lying not far from his futon, covered in blood. I went to Kenshin, laying a hand on his shaking shoulder. "Kenshin…"

"Get away from me Kaoru! I'll kill you! I'm going to kill all of you if you don't get away from me!" he cried, flinching away from my touch. I raised his face to see it streaked with tears and blood. His throat was already starting to bruise; it looked as if he had tried to choke himself. Bloody runs streaked his chest, where he had dragged his fingernails down his skin.

I held up one of his hands, examining the torn fingernails, the bleeding digits. I looked back at his face, alarmed to find it pale and growing worse. His eyes fluttered and I glanced back at his hands. I gasped. "Kenshin! What have you done?" He had slit his wrists with the bloody knife.

He smiled weakly at me. "I – don't deserve—to live—Kaoru… Gomen…" With that his eyes closed and he went limp. I heard Megumi run to the phone behind me while Sano pressed towels into my hands. I wrapped them around his bleeding wrists, trying desperately to stop to the flow.

"Hurry Megumi!" I cried. I watched Kenshin's face grow paler. 'Live Kenshin, onegai! Don't give up on me!'

HM: Wow, intense chapter for me to write. Hope you enjoyed it. Yes, I made Kenshin suicidal, but it seemed fitting. Please review!

Translations:

Gomen – Sorry
Iie – No
Shimatta – Damn it
Onegai - Please