Jaz: heya guys! Thanx so much for the wonderful reviews! XD Sorry to keep ya waitin'! And due to you're kindness and generosity… I give you.. Roy's email address!

flamealchemist(underscore)Mustang(at)kaxy(dot)com

Roy: Don't worry, ladies. I accept dates as well. (winks, teeth shines)

Jaz: o-o;; Ooooookaaay…. Last and not least, here's a new rule to my story! Any reviewer or author… (I don't care if its anonymous) can request to be in my story! Yaaay! Meaning, you can huggle Roy-sama….. or piss of Ed cause he's short….. or steal Al's kittens! The more detail you give me… the more chance you get to be in my story! .

Oh ya! One more thing. This chapter is really stupid and weird! Okay. Ciao

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Social Life Sucks

Chapter 5: On Santa's Lap

It was that time of the year, the holidays. Ed and Al's mother were taking the two 3-4 year olds to the mall to sit on Santa's Lap. It was an 'Elric Family Tradition' for young children to sit on Santa's lap.

After waiting a long time in the line, they finally made it to Santa and his over-decorated chair.

"Hello, Santa. This is Alphonse.." Introduced the mother. She shook Al's hand lightly. "Say hello to Santa, Al." She said softly.

Al shyly and slowly went over and crawled up on Santa's lap.

"HO HO HO! What do YOU want for Christmas, Alphonse?" Said jolly ol' Saint Nick.

"Waaaaaaaaaah!" Al started to cry.

The mother was trying to figure out what to do. Santa started jumping him up and down on his knee. "Janet! Give him a candy cane!" Santa whispered to his 'Elf.'

"We're fresh out of them, sir…" She said.

"Then give him one of you're cigarettes or something!" Santa said frantically trying to calm little Al down.

Janet shrugged. She dug into her pocket and gave Al a cigar. Immediately, Al stopped crying and grew a smile. He went over to his mother and started playing with it.

Finally, little Ed jumped up on Santa's lap.

"Oof! Ho ho ho! You sure are getting heavy!" Saint Nick said trying to pry Ed off. "What's you're name little boy? And tell me what you want for Christmas."

"My name is Ed… and what I want for Christmas is for my dad to die of a heart attack and burn in hell.." Ed said coldly.

Santa scratched his head. "Well, son, you can't wish for that. It's not a very nice thing… Don't make me put you on the Naughty list…"

"Whatever. Everyone knows you're not the real Santa!" Ed pulled out his fake beard. Everyone gasped at the revealed identity.

"M- Michael Jackson?" Ed said dumbfounded.

"Hello, Ed! Let's go to Never Never Land!" Michael Jackson said.

Everyone grimaced except this one person somewhere in the crowd. "YAAAAY!"

"NO!" Ed yelled.

"Can I at least touch you?" Michael asked.

"NO!" Ed yelled.

"Can't I touch you're hair?" Michael added.

"NO!" Ed snapped again.

"You're butt?" Michael asked again.

"NO!" Ed screeched.

"Not even you're balls?" Michael added.

"GOD NO!" Ed screamed.

Ed and Al's mother took a shotgun and shot Michael Jackson's head off. "NO ONE MOLESTS MY SON!"

"Mmmm… tomato soup…" Al licked his lips.

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I'm sorry if it's short. I thought of it and I thought it would be really funny. And I didn't mean to offend Michael Jackson fans (even though why such ppl would want to be his fan). Also, please email Roy! He gets very lonely in office! Here's his email again!

flamealchemist(underscore)Mustang(at)kaxy(dot)com

And I would very much appreciate it if you can give me some really good ideas! Please RnR!