Muahaha… I sneaked into Roy's email and came up with this!
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Social Life Sucks
Chapter 9: Roy's Fan Mail
"Ladies and gentlemen! My name is Roy Mustang; AKA: Flame Alchemist! If you didn't know that, then you're a (censor)!" Roy greeted in front of the camera. "Today, I will be sharing my fan mail from all those lovely fan people!"
Roy takes out a letter. "Here's one and it says:
Dear Roy,
I know you may get this often, but what kind of boxers do you wear?"
Roy laughed. "Well, that's a good question! You see, to tell you the truth…, I don't wear any boxers at all! In a matter of fact, I'm not wearing anything under my pants! Maybe now and then if I feel horny, I'd put on a thong… but mainly… I don't wear anything!"
Roy took out another letter. "Here's another one and it says:
Dear Roy,
Are you a cowboy?
Are you gay?
Do you really like Hughes?
If you do, have you ever licked him before?
Bla bla bla bla bla bla
Will you marry me?
Bla bla bla bla bla bla
Skadjgfkjsdhfkjashlkdjhlakjshdaksjdh."
Roy paused. "Hmmm…. Lemme think…" He thought. "YES! All those questions are YES! I AM GAY! I REALLY DO LIKE HUGHES! And yes, I have licked him before and he tasted like a lollipop… except hairier!"
Hughes peeked in the camera screen. "I'll be waiting for you Colonel-poo!"
Roy waved back to him. "Yup, life is great!"
All of the sudden, the real Roy entered his office with his coffee and donuts. He turned to Greed who was the camera man and he turned to his imposter at his desk.
Roy frowned. "ENVY!"
Fake-Roy turned back to his original self, Envy. "OH (censor)!"
Roy started chasing Envy around the room. "ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY FANMAIL AGAIN? IF YOU ARE, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL RIP OFF YOUR PALM TREE HEAD!"
Afetr a while, Roy finally kicked Envy and Greed out. "GOOD RIDDENS!" He then turned down at his leg seeing Hughes embracing it shaking up and down.
Roy grimaced.
"HUGHES! GET OOOFFF!"
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Hehehe.. I think this is the funniest one so far…
Also, I wasn't aiming for a Roy x Hughes relationship… sorry Yiao fans…. Speaking of Roy, I hope I'm not focusing on him too much!
Also, that was actual fan mail except I forgot what they wrote so I just typed in what I remembered! ;
Anyway, please give me some more ideas or request yourself in the story by reviewing me! REVIEWS COUNT! RnR!