Muahhaa….. I have returned…. With more INSANITY!

(WARNING – this chapter may offend pious Christians even though I am Christian/Catholic myself)

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Social Life Sucks

Chapter 12: Scar's Church Service

"Here we are!" chirped Fuery.

"A church service?" Roy said looking at the towering church tower.

"It's Sunday so yeah…"

"Isn't it Thursday?" Ed asked.

Roy sighed. "What a waist of my time…"

"YOU SHOULD SPEND THIS TIME WISELY BECAUSE AT LEAST I DIDN'T KILL MOBS OF ISHBALLIANS 5 YEARS AGO!"

"You're right. I'm condemned. Let's go."

So, Ed, Roy, and Fuery walked in the church. Farman followed but he ran into a wall and the cross on top of the church fell on him and made him go unconscious.

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"WELCOME TO MY CHURCH SERVICE!"

Ed, Fuery, and Roy's eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding…"

"I AM FATHER SCAR OF THE CHURCH TODAY!" Scar announced briefly. "In today's service, we'll be talking about me and my brother."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"It was a normal day… me and my brother were acting normally casual in a normal day because it was normal—"

"YOU SUCK!"

Scar exploded the guy's head who made that rude comment. Everyone remained silent.

"Anyway, as I was saying…"

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"Jiggly-puff.. jiggly puff…" Jigglypuff sang to the only judges of American Idol, Scar and his bigger brother who fell asleep.

"JIGGLY!" Jigglypuff took out a marker and drew and scribbled stuff on Scar and his brother.

Meanwhile, while they woke up, the two brothers noticed tattoos on their bodies. Scar had a tattoo on his arm and his brother had a tattoo on his body. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

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"WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL CRAP! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU GOT THAT TATTOO! POKEMON AREN'T EVEN REAL!" Ed retorted.

Scar raised a brow under his shades. "Are you suuuuure?" He took out a pokeball and threw it at Ed's head. The pokeball summoned a pokemon named Pee-peechu.

"PEE PEE CHU!" it squeaked.

"PEE-PEE CHU! PEE PEE ON ED NOW!" Scar demanded.

"PEE….. PEE….. CHUUUUU!" As it grunted out constipated screams, Pee-Peechu started peeing on Ed.

"ACK! It's getting allover my shiny pants!" Ed whined. Then, pee-Peechu's pee started melting through Ed's automail leg. "ACK! ITS PEE PEE IS EATING THROUGH MY LEGS! NIOOOOOOOOO! I'M MEEEEELTING!" After a while, Ed turned into nothing but goo.

"We're going to die…" Roy whispered in Feury's ear. Feury gulped.

Then, Father Scar put on a pokemon cap on his head; backwards. "I'M A POKEMON MASTER!"

Then, from out of nowhere, Roze the nun tapped on Scar's shoulder. "Sir…. the service?"

Scar took off his cap. "Oh, right."

"HEY LOOK! IT'S THAT IGNORANT SLUT, ROZE!" Ed cried out loud pointing rudely to Roze.

Roy looked at Ed. "Hey, I thought you were a pile of melted goo."

Ed smiled brightly. "IT'S ONLY TEMPORARILY!"

"PEE….. PEE….. CHUUUUU!" As it grunted out constipated screams, Pee-Peechu started peeing on Ed; again.

"NOOOO! NOT AGAIN!" Ed melted into a pile of goo.

Roy chuckled. "hehehehehhe…."

All of the sudden, Father Cornello jumped out of a coffin with a gattling gun shooting everyone rapidly. "DIIIIIIE MY CHILDREN! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!"

Then, everyone died because they bled to death. And then, attracted to this blood, big foot and sasquatch come in the church.

"YO YO YO! WHUZZAH HOMIES!" Big Foot said as he had a Bling-Bling around his neck.

"Like, WORD!" Sasquatch said as well.

Then, Big Foot and Sasquatch got into a fight with Father Cornello and Scar.

Scar used Pee-peechu against them, but big foot gave pee pee chu a taste of his own lemonade, so it fainted and Scar whited out.

Then, Sasquatch ate Roze because she's a stupid whore. Father Cornello killed big Foot with his big-ass gattling gun. Wanting to avenge his long-lost cousin, Sasquatch gets pissed off at Cornello and spits out Roze and shoves her up his ass. Due to Cornello's bladder disorder, Cornello and Roze dies in his ass.

Then the whole town gets pissed off at the church for allowing priests to have women shoved up their butts. But, Envy saved them from their anger and said, "HEY GUYS! LET'S GO EXPLODE SOME BIRDS!"

"YEAH!"

So, everyone exploded some dead birds. Some did it with alchemy. Some used magic. Some used freakishly mutated powers. Some even used forks.

Then, the ocean turned into cheese and the earth was dominated by cows. Then the planet went on fire and everyone died.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END.

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o.. ahha… that was so stupid. I got the jigglypuff part from a fan art from fullmetalalchemist dot com site.

Anyway, if u guys have seen the 1st-2nd episode of Full Metal Alchemist, u notice Cornello uses a gattling gun. I thought that was funny. Me and my brother laughed. Didn't you think that was funny, too?

Oh, well…. RnR