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Arianna: =KO'd on floor=
Erk: We apologize, but Arianna will not be able to do her usual ramble. She's currently floored that she got 23 reviews first chapter. She would like to thank all reviewers. She will do responses at the end of the chapter.
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DISCLAIMER:
Eliwood: She don't own no FE, no matter how much she would like to.
Latisha: Seriously, were you asleep during all your Elibean Language classes?
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"Jaffar! I'm going to go visit Uncle Canas today, so take care of the twins! Why don't you take them to the circus? It's in town today!" Nino called through the house, than walked out leaving poor Jaffar with two very spastic little monsters by the names of Lugh and Rei. They were twins and six years old. Together, they were Pherae's worst chaos-causing duo. And now Jaffar was stuck trying to watch them all day.
He turned and started climbing up the ladder. When they had moved into the two-story house, they had stairs. A problem came up when Rei started to make a habit of pushing Lugh down the stairs every chance he got. As a result, Lugh got a stair phobia and would not go near them, causing problems since his bedroom was on the second floor. So to solve the problem, they had the stairs taken out and a ladder put in. But it didn't really solve anything. Now Rei just pushed Lugh off the top of the ladder.
Jaffar walked over to the twins' room and cautiously opened the door. The sight that greeted him almost made him become a murderer again. Lugh and Rei had recently gotten some crayons for their birthday. Enough said. The walls were now decorated with pictures of suns(Lugh), dead bodies(Rei), rainbows(Jaffar really did worry about Lugh, sometimes), dying animals(Rei), and a few portraits of himself and Nino as stick figures.
"….what are you doing?" Jaffar asked quietly, but Lugh and Rei heard the threat behind the words, and immediately stopped coloring. They turned around with impish grins on their faces.
"Hi, Daddy!" they chirped in unison. "Like the pretty pictures we made?" they asked. They didn't see anything wrong with decorating their walls. They were theirs, anyways. Jaffar just twitched. He didn't know what to do about it, so he decided to just ignore it for now.
"…come." He said. Then turned around and walked out the door. Lugh grinned and Rei scowled. Then they both ran after their dad. They followed him down the ladder and out the door.
"Where are we going?" Lugh asked, as they started walking towards town. He was a little worried about going into town. Last time they went, he had to go to this place called a "Barber Shop" and this scary guy tried to attack him with scissors. He bit the man on the hand, but then Daddy had held him down. Then the guy cut his hair off! He almost cried seeing all that pretty green on the floor. He tried to stick it back on his head, but Mommy had yelled at him and told him it was dirty. How could it be dirty if it had just come off his head? As he was remembering his horrible experience, they walked past the Barber Shop. So at least they weren't going back there.
"….to the circus." Answered Jaffar. Lugh clapped his hands happily and Rei scowled again. Rei had never been to a circus, but he had heard about them. They were horrifying places with elephants and guys with red noses. He wondered what they had done that his daddy would want to torture them so.
They came to a big yellow tent with red stripes. There were a lot of people standing in a line. Lugh stared at the tent. Jaffar stared straight ahead. Rei, however, was looking around. He saw a cotton candy stand. He got a devilish grin on his face and he elbowed Lugh. "Look!" Rei said. "Cotton candy!" He pointed at the stand. Lugh started jumping up and down.
"Daddy, can we get some?" Lugh asked, looking up at his daddy who was still staring straight ahead. He seemed to be a little on edge being around all these people. Lugh had never understood it, but Daddy had never liked people very much. He also didn't talk as much as other daddies.
"….no." Jaffar said, without even looking at them. He was not repeating his past mistakes. Once he had gotten them cotton candy. After they ate it, their hands were sticky, so they decided to wipe it on him. They, of course, said they just wanted to hug Daddy, but he knew what they were doing. Little brats.
"But Daaaaddddy!" Lugh whined and pulled at Jaffar's shirt. Jaffar refused to look down so he wouldn't fall victim to the puppy-dog pout. Lugh's bottom lip started to tremble.
"I want cotton candy, too!" said Rei. And then he started yelling "CAN-DY! CAN-DY! CAN-DY!" in chant. Lugh realized what his brother was doing and joined in. Soon, everyone was staring at Jaffar and his screaming kids. He twitched, then grabbed Lugh and Rei by their cloaks and dragged them along with him in line. They screamed the whole 20 minutes they were in line for cotton candy. People were ready to just buy them cotton candy so they would shut up.
When they got up to the ticket booth, Jaffar could barely hear the worker ask "How many?" He thought it was a stupid question anyways, since it was obvious there were three. But if the brats didn't get quiet soon, it was going to be one.
"…three." He said. The booth worker cupped his ear.
"Huh? I can't hear you! You'll have to speak up!" he said.
"..three."
"Still can't hear you!"
"Three."
"Sir, are you even speaking?"
"THREE!"
"Tea? I'm sorry, sir, we don't sell tea."
Jaffar had had enough. He punched Rei and Lugh on the head. They instantly stopped screaming and held their now throbbing heads. Women nearby gave him disgusted looks for hitting his children, but he just glared back. "Three." He said, for the last time. If the booth worker didn't hear him this time, he was stabbing him and taking the tickets.
"You should have said so!" the worker said, then handed him three tickets. "That will be 30 gold!"
Jaffar twitched once more. He took the tickets and practically threw the gold at the stupid booth worker. Then he looked down at his strangely silent kids. The reason they were silent was, they weren't there anymore. He scanned the area. "…Lugh? Rei?" he said.
"Move it!" yelled a guy behind him in line. He glared at him and considered stabbing him, but walked off deciding that finding his kids was a more important issue. He looked over at the cotton candy booth, but they weren't there. He was getting a little worried when he finally spotted them by the souvenir booth. The worker there was flirting with some lady and didn't notice Rei and Lugh, who were trying to get a stuffed elephant off a shelf. Rei was standing, wobbling, on Lugh's shoulders.
Jaffar ran over and grabbed Rei off of Lugh's shoulders before he fell. He thought he'd be able to take them and run before the booth worker noticed, but then Rei yelled "Hey! Let me go! I almost had it!" and that was the end of that plan. Jaffar grabbed Lugh, too, and started to run, but before he could get away, the elephant fell and landed in Lugh's hands.
The booth worker turned around and saw Lugh with the stuffed animal. "HEY!" he yelled as Jaffar made a run for it, "THIEVES! THIEVES!" But Jaffar disappeared into the crowd before anyone could stop them. The booth worker was ready to get security, but just then, two pretty girls walked by. "Hey ladies!" he called. He started flirting with them and completely forgot about the strange red haired man and his green haired twins.
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Jaffar kept running and didn't stop running until they were inside the circus tent. He put the twins down and glared at them with his most venomous 'Daddy Is Mad And You're Going To Get It When We Get Home' glare. Lugh hugged his new stolen elephant and sucked his thumb. Rei just glared back. "….come." Jaffar commanded, then he started walking towards the stands.
(A/N:Well, not really stands, actually. Bleachers, really, would be a better word. But I doubt they were called that back in whatever times FE is. I also doubt they had cotton candy, but they probably had circuses. I'll shut up now.)
Rei stuck his tongue out at his dad's back but the twins followed. Lugh was scared so he reached for Rei's hand but Rei just glared in a good imitation of his father. Lugh clutched his elephant tighter and wondered why his mommy left him with these two meanies. They had to sit in the front row since the twins were too short to see any further back. Jaffar looked around at things being set up with a nervous look on his face. He had never been to a circus either and it looked a bit creepy. The ringmaster walked into the center ring and everything got quiet.
"Welcome to Carl's Circus!" announced the ringmaster. Jaffar wondered who 'Carl' was. "First, I present to you, on the trapezes, Jack and Zack!" the ringmaster continued.
"Look, Daddy! They can fly!" Lugh said, as Jack and Zack, who, by the way, were twins, flew from trapeze to trapeze. Watching them, Rei got an idea.
"Lugh!" he whispered to his brother, careful to not let his dad hear him. "Since we're twins, too, if we go up there, we should be able to fly like they are!" Lugh looked at Rei, then at the trapezes, then at Rei again, then once more at the trapezes, and then finally he looked back at Rei and said "Al-alright. If you're sure." Rei just grinned a devilish grin and Lugh wasn't very comforted. They waited until they were sure their daddy wasn't looking, then crawled under people's legs to get to the end of the bleachers. Then they ran around through the shadows, so no one could see them, over to the pole where the ladder was to get up to the trapezes.
"C'mon!" said Rei, and he started climbing. Lugh, however stared at it, nervously. Rei stopped climbing and looked down to see his twin wasn't moving. "Just pretend it's the ladder at home!" Rei suggested, then continued climbing. Lugh set down his elephant and started climbing up.
Meanwhile, Jaffar was oblivious to the fact that the twins had gone missing, again. The trapeze act had ended and the clowns had come out and Jaffar was rather terrified. He looked over to see if Lugh was crying, which he did a lot when he was scared, and that's when he noticed they were gone. He looked around the tent trying to catch a glimpse of green. Then he heard someone behind him say "Look! Up there!" He looked up with dread knowing what he'd see. And he saw what he feared.
Rei and Lugh had made it to the top and were now attempting to reach one of the trapezes. He jumped up and ran across the tent, dodging clowns, over to the ladder and started climbing. While at the top, Rei had managed to get hold of a trapeze.
"Okay, you hang on to my feet, and then I'll jump off and we'll fly!" Rei told his brother. Lugh's legs were shaking but he bent over and grabbed Rei's feet. As it tends to happen, just as Jaffar got to the top, Rei jumped off the platform dragging a screaming Lugh with him. Jaffar made a mad lunge for them and managed to grab onto Lugh's leg. Everyone in the circus tent was watching them with terrified expressions.
"You two are DEAD when we get home!" Jaffar yelled up to them as the trio swung towards the other trapeze.
"We're dead anyways if you don't let go!" Rei yelled down. "I can't hold both of you up!" His hands were starting to lose grip.
"WAAAAH!" cried Lugh. "Daddy's gonna break my leg!"
"I think we've got bigger problems, idiot!" Rei yelled at his brother.
"Don't call me an idiot! You're the one who came up with the idea!" yelled Lugh back.
"You're BOTH idiots!" yelled Jaffar "Now shut up so I can think of a way out of this mess you've got us into!" They had lost momentum and were now just hanging in mid-air. The problem was, no one had invented nets yet to catch the trapeze artists if they fell.
"I hope you're a quick thinker then, Father! Because I can't hold on any longer!" Rei cried as one of his hands slipped off.
"…what did you get on your pants, Lugh?" Jaffar asked, as he realized the leg he was holding onto was wet.
"I don't think you wanna know, Daddy." Answered Lugh. Jaffar gave a little shudder but kept thinking. He came up with a plan.
"…I'll let go and then I'll catch you two when you fall." Said Jaffar. Then he dropped.
"DAAAADDDY!" screamed Lugh as Jaffar fell down to the circus floor. Jaffar, however, had jumped from tall heights before, so he landed on his feet.
"LET GO!" he yelled up to the twins. Lugh screamed something back about being too afraid to, but then Rei let go. And since Lugh was holding onto Rei, they both came falling towards Jaffar. He held out his arms to catch them, but it didn't work. Lugh and Rei landed on him, knocking him on the ground. They crawled off his back, then poked at Jaffar.
"Father?" said Rei, pulling open one of Jaffar's eyelids.
"WE KILLED DADDY!" cried Lugh as he burst into tears. But then Jaffar got up shaking his head.
"DADDY!" yelled the twins, attaching themselves to his legs in what's usually called a hug. Jaffar's eyes came back into focus.
He froze.
Everyone in the circus was clapping. All those people…..staring at him and his kids, who had still not let go of his legs…. 'Too. Many. People.' Jaffar thought. Then he passed out.
"Father?" Rei said, pulling Jaffar's eyelid up once more.
"WE KILLED DADDY! AGAIN!" said Lugh, and he burst into fresh tears.
Eventually, though, Jaffar woke up and ran home with his brats in tow, praying that they wouldn't run into the owner of the circus. When they got home, Jaffar was going to give his evil demonic children a beating they wouldn't forget, but he was too exhausted. So instead he passed out in the middle of the floor. Lugh curled up on top of him and went to sleep, too. And Rei cackled while looking at the two of them with his now trademark devilish grin.
So when Nino came home from visiting her uncle, she found Jaffar and Lugh fast asleep. And Rei drawing on their faces with a permanent marker.
"Rei, what are you doing?" she asked, staring at Rei as he drew a moustache on Jaffar.
"Art," Rei answered. Then he smirked. "If you think this is good, you should see what Lugh and I drew on our bedroom walls." Nino's face grew white then she quickly climbed the ladder and ran into the twins' bedroom.
"JAFFAR!!!!" echoed Nino's scream throughout the house."YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THEM!!!!" Jaffar woke up and looked at Rei, who was currently drawing eyelashes on Lugh.
"….what happened?" Jaffar asked Rei. Rei grinned THE grin.
"Daddy's in trouble! Kekekekeke!"
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Jaffar: …
Erk: Wow, your brats are worse than my one brat!
Jaffar: …
Erk: This should be called "Dads and Brats of Horror".
Arianna: Okay, next chapter is Bartre with Fir!
Eliwood: You're awake! That means you can do review responses!
Arianna: I dun wanna.
Eliwood: =holds rapier threateningly=
Arianna: =sigh= Alright…
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REVIEW RESPONSES
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DotDotDotMan: Wow, did you even make it through the whole chapter? Or did the guys in white coats catch you before you could finish? Believe me, I'm well acquainted with the crazy police. :) Thanks for the review!
Hitnwey: Priscilla's kid probably wouldn't have been as entertaining. She's a bit more refined than Serra. Hehe. I would ask to be put up for adoption if Bartre was my dad. Thanks for the review!
SDS-Yukichan: Muhaha. Was your wait worth it? Poor Jaffar. Hopefully Nino won't leave him alone with the demon twins anymore. Thanks for the review!
Calum the Angel: Thank you, thank you very much.
Erk: Ugh. Elvis impression? You've sunk to a new low.
Arianna: Thanks for the review!
Inferno-Hero: Yes, I'm planning on doing Pent and Louise's children. And eventually Harken and Isadora. And I'll be putting Lyn with Kent, probably. Thanks for the review! Oh, and I like insanity. Insanity goooood.
Lugh: You scary lady. =sucks thumb=
Arianna: Moi? Scary? Harumphh!
Alice Kaiba: Are you threatening me? Lol. J/K. Don't worry, I hate the EliwoodxLyn pairing too. Thanks for the review!
…..???: Interesting name. Oh, I'll be writing lots more chapters. :D Thanks for the review!
R Amythest: Hey, your name is like Amethyst! Maybe that's the real reason why Serra picked the name. :) Thanks for the review!
hyliansage: Thank you for the compliments. Yes, there are quite a few possibilities, huh? Looks like this will be another long story. Thanks for reviewing!
enangl27: I'm glad to know there's other people who like cute stories, or else nobody would read this one. I know it's humor, but it's also cutesy. :) Thanks for the review! Did you like the twins? Hehe.
Seventh Sage: What do you mean you wouldn't want a kid like that? Who wouldn't want a kid that screams and throws stuff at their parents and tries to jump off things? =cackles= I really am quite mean to poor Erky.
Erk: Dang straight you are.
Arianna: Thanks for the review! :D
Sword of Seals: Personally, I think the kid was more evil to him. Hehehehe. But I guess if he had paid more attention to little Amy then she wouldn't have had to entertain herself by jumping off a pillar. :) Thanks for the review!
KentxLyn: Yes, I'm a fan of KentxLyn, too. So I will be doing theirs sometime. Any suggestions on a name for their kid? Thanks for the review!
Wesley: Catastrophes , huh? Any specific ones? Catastrophe fun. Hehe. Thanks for the review!
Zero84: I personally like HectorxFlorina and LynxKent, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I'm glad you like ErkxSerra. :D Thanks for the review! And all the other reviews you've ever wrote for my stories!
potter29vo: Yes, this is going to be a looong multi-chapter fic. Although Erk and Serra's is done, they'll probably get another appearance in Pent and Louise's. Thanks for the review! You're always so nice. :D
LowenxRebeccaluver: I think that if Serra fell in love, she would revoke her vow. In the support conversation where she says she took that vow, she also says she'll still consider Oswin.
SPOILER: Plus, in the epilogue with Erk, she tells Hector she's going to 'Live for love' with Erk. So they probably got married.
I'm actually a fan of RebeccaxRaven, but I will do a HarkenxIsadora. Half a loaf is better than nothing, right? :) Thanks for the review! Oh, and, any ideas for a name for Harken and Isadora's kid?
TFRiD Queen: It wasn't too long a wait, was it? :) Thanks for the review!
cardmaster372: Well, you're in luck! I'll be doing both of those pairings. :D I'm not sure if I'm going to put Guy with someone, though. Thanks for the review!
Serra19: I came up with circuses and stair phobias. I'm scared of myself now. Thanks for the review! :)
FireEdge: I know, Amy's just the cutest! Especially when she's throwing things at her daddy. :D
Erk: …..Grrr….
Arianna: Thanks for the review!
Sarah The Wolf: How could I base her off of you? I was too young to remember what you were like at that age. Use your brain, you silly sister. Lol. Thanks for reviewing!
Guy The Master: I'm not sure if I'm going to Guy, because I wouldn't know who to put him with. But since he seems to be popular, I might give it a shot. Thanks for the review!
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Arianna: Can I go back to sleep now?
Eliwood: Sure.
Arianna: =falls back on floor=
Rei: Kekekekeke. =draws on her face with marker=
Latisha: Hope to see you all next chapter!
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Lugh&Rei: Please review!
Rei: Or else! =holds up permanent marker=
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