WASTING A FEW MOMENTS OF YOUR TIME
Song I'm Listening To While Writing This: Yu Yu Hakusho's Rocket Hanabi no Love Song. Special cookie and 500 points to anyone who has heard the song and can name the YYH characters that sing it! Don't hurt yourself trying to find out if you don't know. The cookie and points aren't real, but imaginary cookies are better than nothing and it's good to have reserve imaginary points when your real ones run out.
Eliwood: Writing chapters while packing for vacation, thinking of funny things to type while suffering from a horrible cold, it's SUPER ARIANNA!
Nils: =plays trumpet=
Arianna: Yes, yes, here I am. Even though in my profile I said that I probably wouldn't be typing this, I am. Dang muses caught me again. Well, if you're just here for the chapter and couldn't care less about anything else to do with me start scrolling now because I have one or two things to mention.
Erk: =large, obvious yawn=
Arianna: =ahem= First and foremost, MERCI MUCHO DTN-SAMA!
Erk: That was the strangest combination of languages I've seen in a single sentence since Arianna got in an argument with that girl who spoke German/French/English and Spanish.
Arianna: DTN-sama drew a very cute and funny comic depicting the beginning scene in chapter 2 with Jaffar and his twins. It was exactly what I had pictured in my mind while writing it. If anyone would like to see it, the link is in my profile.
Erk: =leaves town before he has to bow to DTN again=
Arianna: Secondly, but still importantly, as you might know by now all my script stories had to be deleted because of rules. However, I have put them up on a website. That link is also in my profile. Thank you so much to anyone who every reviewed those stories! I shall be continuing FEI on that site. Voting for the finals will probably have to be done through email or guestbook….
Eliwood: Hey! Wrong story! Get back to this one!
Arianna: Lastly, I tried out that thing for the highly recommended stories on the Fire Emblem section and I was shocked and thrilled to see this story in it! Thank you so much to anyone who clicked to 'highly recommend this story' while reviewing! Well, I'm done.
YOU CAN STOP SCROLLING NOW
Arianna: But I will be back at the end of the chapter….hehehe…
Erk: =somewhere in the far north=
DISCLAIMER: And Arianna said "Let it be known that I do not own the wonderful and powerful 'Fire Emblem'! I am yet another admirer of it trying to show it some glory in my own, strange ways."
Tick, tock, tick, tick, tock, tick, tock…..
Time had never passed slower than these last few minutes had. The reason was Rebecca had gone shopping and left a rather grumpy Raven in charge of his son, Wolt. Raven stared at the clock as it ticked off another minute of the hours that were ahead of him. He loved his wife and being around his wife. He loved his wife with his son and being around his wife when she was with his son. He loved his son. He did not, however, love being with his son. He glared over at the quiet (so far) child sitting near the sofa. Wolt was playing with a toy bow and some fake arrows he had gotten for his birthday. Raven looked back at the clock.
Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..
Another minute had passed without catastrophe. He glared back over at his son.
And he wasn't there.
"WHERE'D YOU GO YOU BLOODY BRAT!?" Raven roared as he grabbed his sword that had been lying near his chair and surveyed the room for possible hiding places or exits. He had been prepared for this, so he had made sure to keep his weapon nearby. He stalked down the hall listening closely for any hints at where his son had gone. His head twisted sharply as he heard a sound coming from the room beside him. He threw open the door.
"AAAAAHHHH! BAD DADDY! NO PEEKING WHEN I'M LEAKING!" cried 6 year old Wolt as he quickly jumped off the toilet and pulled up his pants.
"Why didn't you tell me where you were going!?" Raven yelled at poor, violated Wolt.
"Me had to go reeeaaal bad!" Wolt whined. "And you just kept staring at tick-tocker and wouldn't pay no attention to me! So me left for bathroom like a big boy!" Raven sighed inwardly. He decided it was good that his son was at least potty trained now. He remembered a few unpleasant nights where he would wake up to find himself in a wet bed with his wife and son sleeping next to him, and he seriously doubted it was his wife who had caused the wetness.
"Wash your hands and then get back to the sitting room." Raven ordered as he stomped back to his chair by the clock. He heard running water and then a few moments later Wolt walked into the room and continued playing with his toy. Raven stared at the clock. Only four minutes had passed since he had last checked it! Would this day never end? He looked back over to his silent son to find Wolt staring at him intently in deep thought. "What, brat?" he asked gruffly. He didn't like the way the kid was looking at him. He didn't like the way ANY kids looked at him.
"Daddy, how come I look so much more like Mommy's friend Wil than I do like you?" Wolt asked innocently.
Raven choked.
Raven froze.
Raven grew angry.
Raven grew VERY angry.
Raven grew super-d-duper-d angry.
In fact, he got so angry that he jumped to his feet and grabbed his son by the back of his shirt. Then he stormed out the door and down the road. About 2 miles down the path he remembered that Wil was in Caelin (or Ostia, for you technical people), and it would take a few days to walk there. So he stomped back to his house. He left deep footprints in the dirt road as a way to vent his fury. He flung the door open to his home and dropped his son back beside his toy bow, then he slumped back by the clock. Wolt, completely unfazed by the whole episode, just picked up his toys again. He was used to those kinds of reactions from his daddy when he asked questions. Raven glared at the ever-so-slow clock. Only 20 minutes had passed! He fumed over the slow time and the possibility that Rebecca had been cheating on him for about 5 more minutes. But Wolt was growing bored, so he decided to talk to daddy. Being carried by his shirt down the road was better than dying of boredom.
"Daddy?" he said in a questioning tone. Raven was thrown form his train of thought and could not get back on it no matter what. He glared at the ignorant person who DARED to interrupt his musings! He saw it was Wolt. He came to the realization that he could, in fact, kill Wolt and not feel guilty about it since Wolt apparently wasn't his child to begin with. He grabbed his ever-close sword with a grim smirk. He stood up and walked towards the frightened child.
"Umm….Daddy…." Wolt said nervously as he backed up quickly. He didn't like the look in his Daddy's eyes. It was almost as scary a look as the time he had accidentally spilled pink finger paint all over his daddy's shirts and he had to go around wearing them and getting sniggered at until his mommy got stuff to wash it out with. He snapped back to reality as his daddy raised his sword and drew closer. His eyes got wider as he came even closer.
Closer….
Closer….
Even closer….
(A/N:
Eliwood: Holy cheese, is this an incest fic!?
Arianna: =WHACK= NOOOO!)
Raven brought his sword up to end the life of the little terror that had plagued his life for the last 6 years.
KNOCK KNOCK
A loud knock at the door made Raven stop and turn swiftly to face the front door. Someone was pounding on it in a rhythm that sounded like….'Jingle Bells'!?!? He dropped his sword to his side and walked over to the front door. He opened it to see blonde hair and bright, blue eyes looking cheerfully up at him.
"Hello, Lord Raymond! Has it really been two years? My, how time flies! Well, I was just in the neighborhood since I got some random hobo to watch my orphanage for the day and I happened to run into your lovely wife in the market! Charming girl, really, I don't know why she ever married you. Just kidding, just kidding, Lord Raymond! Well, anyways, she told me that you were watching little Wolt today so I thought Uncle Lucy had better pay a visit and make sure his favorite nephew hadn't been murdered by his loving father yet." After that last sentence Lucius' eyes dropped to the sword at Raven's side. "And judging by the weapon you're holding I was just in time, too! Really, Lord Raymond, you do need to go to those group therapy sessions! I know, I know, you don't want to have to sit so long around angry strangers but believe me, they do help! Did wonders for Arianna after that whole adventure was over. Was that really over six years ago? My, how time flies! Wait, did I already say that? Oh dear, must be my age getting to my head, tee hee!" Lucius said in one big breath.
"Lucius, how did you get from Araphen to here so fast?" Raven asked as he thought of his own short-lived trek to Caelin.
"Plot holes, my dear Lord Raymond. They make the stories go around." Lucius giggled and then finally took a much needed breath. Raven took this time to get out of the doorway.
"Come in." Raven commanded and then led the way to the sitting room. He stopped short in the doorway as he saw the room. Wolt had vanished!
"Er….Lord Raymond? Don't you think this is a rather small sitting room?" Lucius asked as he looked around the hallway. "And shouldn't a sitting room have somewhere to sit?" he questioned. Raven turned around with his eye twitching.
"Wolt is gone." Raven stated grimly. Lucius stared in confusion. Then his face suddenly went stark white as he gasped.
"You didn't…oh, no, you didn't, did you, Lord Raymond? Oh my…oh my…" Lucius cried as he fanned himself with his hand. Raven's eyebrows furrowed.
"No, I didn't kill the kid, no matter how tempting it may be. He's hiding around here somewhere." Raven said and stared coldly around hoping to catch a glimpse of his hidden son's whereabouts. The color flowed back into Lucius' face.
"Oh, well, that's good! Hiding I can deal with. Murdered child, well, that's one for the authorities." Lucius said, smiling. He started to walk around the room calling to Wolt. "Nephew! Nephew Wolt! Your Uncle Lucy is here to see you and would appreciate it very much if you would come out and visit with him for awhile!" A small ruffling sound was heard from under the sofa.
"But if I come out, Daddy make me dead!" Wolt cried from under the sofa. Then he sneezed as a dust bunny hopped by his nose.
"Bless you." the dust bunny said, than he continued hopping on his hoppy way to under the nearest bed.
Raven's eye twitched a second time. "Oh, he was just teasing you!" Lucius giggled. "Really, why would your father ever want you dead? He loves you very much! Now, please come out from under the sofa! I want to see how big you've grown!" he pleaded. Wolt squirmed out from under the sofa.
"How'd you know I was under there, Uncle Lucy?" he asked as he brushed stray bits of dust off his clothes. Lucius gave a small smile.
"Oh, lucky guess, I suspect. My, how big you've gotten!" Lucius told Wolt as he helped him get the dust off. Wolt beamed proudly. "You're going to turn out to be a fine mercenary, just like your father!" Lucius said. Wolt shook his head.
"Nu uh. Me no want to use sword. I wanna be an archer like mommy!" Wolt said proudly. Lucius arched an eyebrow and chanced a look at Raven, who had just gave another eye twitch.
"Oh, really? Well, I'm sure you'll be a great archer! Now, I really must hurry off. So sorry I couldn't visit long, but I'm not sure that hobo knows how to cook so he might not feed the children and a large group of hungry kids is just not a pretty sight. Well, see you soon, I hope!" Lucius said his farewells and swept towards the door in his elegant manner. But just as he was about to open the door, it was opened for him. Rebecca was home.
"Hello, Monk Lucius! I'm glad to see you again so soon! Is my family well?" she chirped.
"Oh, they're just fine, but you might want to reconsider sending Lord Raymond to those anger management classes. It seems he attempted to murder Wolt again. Well, I really must be off. I cannot leave my flock in the hands of a homeless for much longer now, can I? Farewell Rebecca, Lord Raymond, Nephew!" Lucius smoothly stated and hurried down the road. Wolt gave a small wave. Raven gritted his teeth.
"LUUUUUUUCIUUUUUUUUUUUUSSS!" he shouted so loudly that the house shook. Lucius skipped down the path whistling a happy tune. Rebecca took a moment to let what Lucius had told her sink in.
"Attempted to murder…….Wolt………….AGAIN!?!?" she started out softly and then ended in a shriek. "RAVEN, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? WOULD YOU REALLY MURDER OUR ONLY SON!?!?" she screamed at him. Flames sprung to Raven's eyes.
"You mean your son." he stated in a deathly quiet voice. Rebecca stared at him in utter shock.
"Wh-what on Elibe are you talking about!?" she spluttered. Raven's eyes narrowed to slits.
"He's Wil's son, not mine. It is quite obvious. He looks more like him than me and he acts like him." Raven said shortly. Rebecca's hands curled into fists.
"YOU IDIOT!!! HOW COULD HE BE WIL'S SON WHEN I'VE BEEN WITH YOU FOR THE LAST SEVEN OR SO YEARS AND WIL'S BEEN IN CAELIN!? EXPLAIN THAT ONE!!!" she screeched. Raven's mouth opened and closed five times. Wolt walked to his room and grabbed his pen that was hanging by his calendar on the wall. He talked out loud as he wrote a note in his journal by his bed.
"Day 27 of Operation 'Drive Daddy Demented'. (a.k.a Operation D.D.D or Triple D) Plan number 27 was a success, also. Uncle Lucy came through with flying colors with his not-so-subtle mention to Mommy about Daddy's recent developing temper fits. Uncle Lucy will be receiving payment shortly. Really have no idea why Daddy's been so angry these last 27 days. Really. Plan 27 really made Plan 26 (sleeping with Mommy and Daddy , than peeing bed) look very amateur, but it still came no where close to Plan 18. ('accidently' spilling pink finger paint on all of Daddy's shirts) I will continue to examine the results from each plan as to find what really drives Daddy insane. Then, I shall write a book of the top twenty ways to drive daddys crazy and title it 'Top Twenty Ways to Drive Daddys Crazy'. Then, I shall sell it to all the children in the world with daddys and I will make MILLIONS! MERHERHERHER!
- Wolt
Note To Self: I need new evil laugh.
Wolt checked over his entry in his journal and then stuck it back in its secret compartment in the bedside table. He grinned as he heard the sweet sound of Daddy trying to hopelessly defend himself against the anger of Mommy. He felt satisfaction that his experiment was going as planned. He then went to practice his archery. Incase for some reason the book thing didn't work out, he could always be an archer!
Latisha: I think every kid in this story has a copy of that book.
Erk: =wanders back into story= You mean I missed it? Darn! I wanted to see that stupid Raven being tortured by his brat!
Raven: WHO YOU CALLIN' STUPID!?
Erk: Uhh…never mind.
Arianna: Well, sorry if this chapter was short and odd. The cold has gone to my head and I'm suffering from some delirium. At least, that's what my excuse card says. I have to go sleep now since we're leaving tomorrow morning for the beach. My parents seem to think it will be fun to drive straight into a hurricane. So, if I never update again, you know what happened!
Erk: =crosses fingers= Please…please….please….
Arianna: Aw, how sweet! Erky's praying for my safe return!
Eliwood: Somehow I doubt that's what he's praying for.
Arianna: Okay, here comes the review responses!
REVIEW RESPONSES
:Kitty Merow:
Eliwood: What's wrong with my brown, gray, and gooey cake?
Erk: A lot of things. First, it's brown and gray. Second, it's gooey. Third-
Eliwood: I get the picture….
I felt I owed a cute ending since the last two didn't have anything cutesie. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!
:Ryzuki:
I am…continuing….not very soon. But hey, it could've been later! Really, everyone reading this should be very grateful to me for updating before I go on vacation!
Readers: =asleep, like most normal people at the hour of the night that I always seem to end up typing at=
Thanks for the review!
:FireEdge:
Yes, Heath and Vaida very, very, very WRONG! It shall not happen as long as I am writer of this fic! Raven was the tormented one in this chapter, as all dads must be in this story. Although at first it seemed like Wolt would be. Thanks for the review!
:NekoRaven:
Eliwood: Bad Roy! No biting finger! You don't know where it's been!
Roy: =continues biting away=
Eliwood: =sigh=
Yes, Serra and Matthew's kid should be interesting. It will probably have to take after Matthew since Amy was like Serra. Or maybe it will be a mix of both parents. Thanks for the review!
:Silver Shadow:
Bartre: NOOOO! CURSED BANDAGES, WHY DO YOU HAUNT ME SO!!!!???!!!
Hm. There's a man not afraid to show his inner insecurities. Glad I could cause a cackle. Cackling is the best laugh. Thanks for the review!
:SDS-Yukichan:
Aren't they all evil children? Well, Lilina won't be. Or else she'll be an innocent evil, if that's even possible. Thanks for the review!
:Emotion Changing Reviewer:
Roy: WAAAH! She called me a freak!
Eliwood: =muttering= You are…
A CONTROL freak, not just a freak.
Roy: Oh. Okay. :)
Thanks for the review!
:haha81290:
What parts did you find confusing? If you ever can't figure something out feel free to ask me about it. I have a very strange sense of humor so I throw in a lot of confusing jokes that really have to be thought about a lot to be understood. It's what happens when I spend too much time thinking of a joke and can't find a way to use it in real life so I have to find a place to throw it into my fanfiction. Well, I won't go into a whole explanation of how I write fanfiction or I'd be here all night. Thanks for the review! It was one of those reviews that really get me thinking.
:enangl27:
Sixteen days? Wow, I wouldn't survive! I'm barely going to make it a week! Black Fang's children? Hmmm…..Nergal raising his morphs, maybe? Scary, yet interesting. I will ponder that while I sit on beach. If I make it to the beach without getting blown away by the hurricane. Thanks for the review!
:Lloyd Irving:
No, I didn't think it sounded like you hated it. Believe me, I can tell when someone hates one of my fics. They're not too quiet about it. Thanks for the review!
:LynxKent Fan:
Ummm….I'm going to have to mention Rath since it's about the dads and their kids. But I could try not to mention Lyn too often. She'll probably only be mentioned once in the very beginning to make an excuse about where she went for the day. Thank you so much for the support conversations! I should be able to do a SainxFiora chapter now. Thanks for the review!
:SamMas666:
All imaginary points can now be traded in for imaginary prizes. Like the amazing imaginary slinky. Or the imaginary pony. Thanks for the review!
:RBMIfan:
Next I want to do Hector's but after that I'll be doing Lucius'. I just have a lot of ideas in my head for Hector's that I want to get done. I need that brain space. Thanks for the review!
:SweetMisery430:
Lugh: =sniff= Mommy no love us!
Eliwood had one brat, Nino had two. Somebody's gotta have three! Probably Sain since he seems to like that kinda stuff. Roy just seems the bratty type, huh? Thanks for the review!
:TFRiD Queen:
MUHAHAHA! TORMENT THEM ALL!
Female FE Characters: Eeep.
Latisha: I've never been so glad to not be a mom!
Thanks for the review!
:lugiamania:
No, I'm not a WilxRebecca fan, sorry. But I did throw in a few hints at it. I probably won't work on the sibling fic until I get some more time. Right now I have thirty minutes to finish these review responses and pretend I've been asleep all night. Hehehehe…yes, the moms need to have a hard time, too. Thanks for the review!
:SainPriestessSorakh:
I like that idea! But I probably won't do that until I'm through with all the males in FE7. Then I'll start with everyone and their dad. Oh my, this is going to go on forever…. Thanks for the review!
:Toe-taly-skrewed:
I'm glad you love it. :D Thanks for the review!
:Jeanie:
Hmm…I'd rather have Legault taking care of Nino just because of how funny it sounds. But I really appreciate your idea! I'm glad when people suggest things and help me out. And even when I don't use a specific idea, I usually take something from it or it leads me to another idea. Rath and Sue is going to be the easiest chapter ever. Barely any words. :D Thanks for the review!
:purpleflamepyrogirl:
Ummm…do you need an inhaler? Because I have one you could use. Or I could just have Bartre give you mouth to mouth. There, that got you up, didn't it? :D
Bartre: Shucks…
Thanks for the review! And don't feel bad, my parents always give me weird looks.
:Seventh Sage:
I'm tired too. In 30 minutes I'm going to have to get ready to leave for the beach. And I didn't get any sleep!
Roy: NAP!
Okay. Zzzz……
Roy: NO NAP!
Meanie. Anyways, munchkins are cool. Sorry, I'm at the point where I'm so tired I don't have any idea what I'm typing. I love Bartre. Ooops, did I just say that? Well, anyway, believe me, I will find a way to have the moms suffer too. Somehow. Thanks for the review!
:Shinobi Demoness:
No, Matthew, you won't have to shop. You get to take care of a kid instead!
Matthew: For some reason that sounds far worse….
Maybe Raven didn't find out because he was too busy being tormented by his son. Or maybe he was just so worn down and broken by the time he found out that he just didn't care. I do like the idea of the sibling fic, and I'm glad other people do too. Thanks for the review!
:Inferno-Hero:
Hmm….if you like that food, maybe you'll like what's coming next chapter. But I can't say any more right now. A thousand reviews, I can't even imagine! I'm just going to do one pairing per dad, though. I'll still have a lot of chapters. And then the mom one will follow. Thanks for the review!
:…Edge:
In MINE Nino married Jaffar and THEY had twins. I get off switching everything because it's my story and that's the pairing I like for Nino. As most Fire Emblem players know the endings can be different depending on who gets and A support with whom.
:Kuroi Riku Tenshi:
They'll come in at some point.
Canas: LET ME IN!
Hugh: Waaa! Translation: Me too!
I'm glad you still read it even though you don't like the pairings. Thanks for the review!
:TM fanz:
Plan? =blink blink= I had it planned out?
Erk: You did, didn't you?
Nope.
Erk: =thwacks head=
Thanks for the compliments and thanks for the review!
:potter29vo:
Yes, Lilina is going to be sweet by she's still going to give Hector a hard time. He probably will make her cry at some point. I'm glad you updated your story 'Nino's Life'! Thanks for the review!
:Illusi0n:
Hehehe…maybe Lowen's kid will want to play Barber Shop! Eeep, you murdered Roy? Well, at least I won't have to take a nap now. Hehe. Thanks for the review!
:Wyvern girl:
I'm actually most glad when people don't like the pairings and still read it. But I try to make it not about the pairings as much as I can. Yeah, I found out about the tree thing, but I thought Fir like Fur sounded funnier. Thanks for the review!
:R Amythest:
Did you like Lucius' appearance? He got to be such a trouble maker. His chapter is after the next one. Children can be helpless and still be weird. Take me for example. Thanks for the review! And I'm glad that music file got through!
:xZero84x:
Poor Roy, so many people trying to kill him. I'm falling asleep at the keyboard. I better hurry. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!
:chel bel:
For some reason little kids do like to climb a lot. I guess it makes them feel tall. I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks for the review!
:Namura:
Actually, no, I haven't. I also have never found any Vaida, Wallace, or Dorcas fans. Thanks for the review!
:Emerald-Latias:
Poor Raven now. Wolt acts so innocent, but he's so cruel. Thanks for the review!
:Spectral Flame:
I've always seen Bartre as the type of person to use a big word and then forget what it means a moment later even though he just used it in a sentence. So I gave him a few intelligent words and made him use them in stupid ways. Thanks for the review!
:avi17:
I love that idea! I shall definitely do a DartxFarina one! And I'm getting used to people complaining about pairings so it doesn't matter. Really, it didn't bother me at all. Thank you so much for the idea! I'll make sure to give you credit when I use it. Thanks for the review!
:Alice Kaiba:
Yes, I will be doing a Hector and Lilina one next. I have lots of ideas forit, so I hope it turns out good. Thanks for the review!
:Mallow-chan:
Eliwood! Go get Marth cookies and cake!
Eliwood: What!? Don't I do enough for my son? Why should I take care of that kid?
Grrrr…
Eliwood: Oh, alright… =goes to store=
Bad things come to those that are good. All the good people get the bad children. Thanks for the review!
:The-Lady-of-Lucius:
HAHAHAHA! I love loopholes. Fun, fun. Maybe the hobo was watching his orphanage again. I hope you liked Lucy's appearance. Thanks for the review!
END
Arianna: I'll edit this chapter when I get back from the beach. I…must…sleep…
Wolt: Review or you don't get one of my books! And then I'll make a book about you. Heh heh….
EDIT: Sorry to disappoint anyone, but I didn't get blown away by the hurricane. I'm back in business, but a little busy since school is starting soon. I'm horribly, terribly sorry about all the mistakes. I've tried to edit most of them, but if anyone spots anymore please let me know. I still can't figure out the indention thing. And sorry it was so short. The next chapter will be long to make up for it!