Disclaimer: To avoid the extremely large disclaimer I had last chapter, I'll just keep it short and say "Standard Disclaimers Apply". There. I hope that's not a cop – out.

So You Wanna Be a Final Fantasy Character

Episode 2: Best Friends, Geniuses, Annoyances, Trios, and Still More Fighting

By Southern Shinigami

INT. Back at the Baseball Stadium in New York

All the Final Fantasy Characters from the Playstation Era and Southern Shinigami are still on the field, and S.S. continues on.

S.S.: Welcome back to our little jamboree! (characters groan) Ok, we've covered the hero, the villain, and the heroine. Now, we'll continue with the rest of the cast. First, there's the Ultimately Reliable Best Friend. In this category, we have Tifa Lockhart of Final Fantasy VII (jumps up and down, smiling, while every male… and Quistis Trepe look on)

Yuna: Um…you might want to stop that…

Tifa: (still jumping) Why?

Lulu: Because you're causing a lake of drool to form over by third base.

Tifa: Huh? (looks over to third base, and sees all the male characters, except Red XIII, and Vivi (he's just a kid!), drooling crazily. Quistis is there too, but she's not drooling) Ewww, gross! (stops jumping) Grow up, you perverts!

Wakka: Dat was sure somethin', ya?

Irvine: It sure was, man. It sure was.

Amarant: I'd like an encore.

Quistis: Oh my… I might have to go change…

S.S.: (shakes out of daze) Anyway, we also have Zell Dincht of Final Fantasy VIII (does the routine from his opening FMV in FFVIII)

Tifa: I can do that!

Yuffie: So can I!

Steiner: Sure you could.

Cait Sith: Riiiiight.

Tifa and Yuffie: We could!

S.S.: From Final Fantasy IX, there's Vivi Orunitia (bows and waves), and finally Wakka of Final Fantasy X/X-2 (does victory pose). Hey, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you Spirans. Why don't you guys have last names?

Wakka: Dunno. Maybe SquareSoft got a little lazy, eh?

Rikku: Maybe they just forgot?

Tidus: Maybe we'll never know(shrugs shoulders).

Yuna: The truth is out there…(everyone looks toward the sky as the "X-Files" theme plays over the P.A. system).

S.S.: Where'd that come from?

In the P.A. Booth…

Elena: Was that a good idea?

Reno: Elena, don't be so thoughtful.

Rude: Besides, we're Turks. We can do whatever we want.

Back on the field…

S.S.: Y-yeah. Next, you have a character who's the intellectual of the group. Not to mention witty and deadly.

Zidane: So, the group's brain?

S.S.: Yep. Fitting that description is Red XIII, or Nanaki (Red bows), Quistis Trepe (cracks her whip, smiles, and winks. Fanboys sigh), Freya Crescent (twirls her lance and nods), and Lulu (who bows low, giving all a show).

Irvine: (drooling…again) Man, that's beautiful…

Cid H.: You ain't fuckin' kiddin'!

Barret: (tear comes to his eye) I have seen the glory!

Wakka: (getting angry) Hey! Keep your eyes in your sockets brudda, or they'll be gone, permanently!

Barret: (pointing Missing Score at Wakka) Oh yeah? You're a fool and I pity you. I'm gonna deflate that ball of yours, Rooster Head!

Wakka: (getting World Champion ready) Gimme your best shot, you Mr. T reject!

S.S.: Hey! What did I say to the others? There will be no fighting! You can do that later, got it?

Wakka and Barret: FINE!

S.S.: That's it! I'm gonna need some help to keep this peace. (turns to the bullpen, and taps his right shoulder. 4 seconds later, out of the bullpen comes…)

Selphie: INCUBUS KITTEN!

(Incubus Kitten comes running in from the bullpen, and meets Southern Shinigami at the pitcher's mound)

Incubus Kitten: Hey, what's up Shini?

S.S.: These guys are one step closer to the edge, and are about to break. You mind helping me keep the peace here?

I.K.: Sure, why not? Where are you up to now?

S.S.: Oh, that would be the character that gets on everybody's nerves.

I.K.: You mean-

S.S.: Yep. The character known as the Slightly Annoying Whiny Bossy High Pitched Ninja Girl.

Steiner: That's a very long title. Who fits the description?

S.S.: I'm glad you asked. From Final Fantasy X/X-2, we have Rikku!

Rikku: (appalled) What? Annoying?

I.K.: Yes. Annoying. You're like the Christina Aguliera of video games!

Rikku: Screw you! That's not very nice!

I.K.: It wasn't meant to be.

S.S.: Continuing on, we also have Eiko Carol of Final Fantasy IX.

Eiko: (whining) I'm not annoying!

Vivi: Oh, yes you are. Throughout most of Disc 2! Like when you were being bossy towards me, thinking you were older!

Eiko: So?

Vivi: I'm the one with the kids at the end of the game!

S.S.: How did that happen, anyway?

Vivi: I can't tell.

Eiko: Hey! I'm the subject here! And I'm not annoying!

Vivi: You're as annoying as an Olsen twin!

Eiko: (charging up a Holy attack) You're gonna get it, if you don't TAKE THAT BACK!

Vivi: (charging up an Ultima attack) MAKE ME!

I.K.: HEY! You two wanna go in the corner?

Eiko and Vivi: No.

I.K.: Then, BEHAVE!

Eiko and Vivi: Yes, Incubus Kitten.

S.S.: There's also Selphie Tilmitt of Final Fantasy VIII.

Selphie: I am not annoying!

S.S.: Oh yeah? Let's see. There's your "happy happy" act. You want everyone to be happy, even when the chips are wayy down, and, oh yes, three words: I-LIKE-TRAINS!

I.K.: You're like Fighter from Final Fantasy I going "I like swords".

(Suddenly, out of nowhere, Fighter appears)

Fighter (FF1): Yo, did someone call me?

S.S.: Fighter, what are you doing here?

Fighter: Researching Sword-Chucks, yo!

Steiner: I don't think that gonna work, young man.

Fighter: Oh sure it will! I'll show you when I get it together. Byeeee!

(Fighter walks off)

S.S.: And finally, we have Yuffie Kisrargi from Final Fantasy VII.

Yuffie: (obviously angry) You take that back!

S.S.: Why? It's the truth.

Yuffie: Prove it!

S.S.: Your whining at Cosmo Canyon, your thievery at Wutai, your whining when you joined the team, your annoyance on the Highwind, need I go on?

Yuffie: (shakes fist) Eh, shut it!

S.S.: Ok, next category i-

Yuffie: You think you're soooo smart, just because you're the host. Well, let me tell you, you're not!

S.S.: Ok, ok.

Yuffie: You're more likely to be the dumbest here, if Incubus Kitten wasn't around.

I.K.: What did you say?

Yuffie: You heard me, you dumb slut!

I.K.: I'M A WHAT? THAT"S IT! (runs into the dugout)

Red XIII(FF7): That probably wasn't a good idea, Yuffie.

Yuffie: Who gives a flying fuck! I'm not annoying, and this author is stupid! Who gave him a license to write, anyways? That loser! (While Yuffie is going on and on, everyone, but her, sees Incubus Kitten return with a high – pressured water cannon, and a look of malice. Everyone, except Yuffie, scatters like roaches when the lights come on to give IK room) Hey! Where'd everyone go?

I.K.: HEY NINJA BITCH! TURN AROUND! (gets the cannon ready)

Yuffie: Huh? What are yo- (Yuffie gets blasted with a blast of water, the strength of a Leviathan Tidal Wave, sending her into the Left Field Bleachers…where Squall's Fangirl section is…or was)

Squall: (distraught) MY FANGIRLS! NOOOOOOOOO!

Cloud: Like you needed them.

Squall: They were for my ego. It's nice to have a cheering section, you know.

Cloud: (thinks about it) Good point.

S.S.: Oh Yevon, the owner's gonna make me pay more on this, now.

I.K.: I'm sorry about that. Yuffie just really pissed me off.

S.S.: Do you feel better now, at least?

I.K.: Yeah, I do. It was fun.

S.S.: Then, it's cool. Can I continue?

I.K.: Yes, you may. (kisses S.S. on the cheek)

S.S.: Thank you. sigh Anyways, on to the next category. In most of these games, there's a group of three that either provide back story, or help move the game along. They're the Wacky Trio. You've got, from FFX/X-2, LeBlanc, Logos, and Ormi.

LeBlanc: Well boys, It looks like we've made our way into the re-write of this fic. I think we've made it better, don't you loves?

Logos: We sure did, boss.

Ormi: Yeah, it's a good thing X-2 came out during his lockout, or we wouldn't even be here.

S.S.: From FFIX, we got Marcus, Cinna, and Blank of Tantalus

Cinna: I'm hungry.

Marcus: You're always hungry.

Cinna: What's your point?

Blank: You're like a hobbit, eating ten times a day.

Cinna: Take that back!

Blank: No.

S.S.: OK, from FFVIII, we got the legendary trio of Laguna, Kiros, and Ward! (crowd cheers)

Laguna: Thank you, thank you! We love you all!

Kiros: There he goes, being full of himself again.

Ward: …

Kiros: My thoughts exactly. He is, as one would say, conceited.

Laguna: I heard that!

Kiros: I know.

S.S.: And from FFVII, we have the Turks, Reno, Rude, and Elena!

Elena: Hey, I don't know what's going on, but you're a dork, you know that?

Reno: Elena, don't insult the author. It's far from right.

Rude: Besides, we're Turks. He'll get his later.

S.S.: (looking very nervous) Uh….ok, time to take a break. We'll be back after this. (starts running) CLOUD!

Author's Notes:Ok, I think I have to explain Incubus Kitten. She's a fellow writer and a long – time close and personal friend. How close and personal? That's between us. However, I urge to check out some of her fics. She's a pretty good writer, too. So, do that for me, ok?

Anyways, here's this chapter's categories:

Best Friend: Tifa Lockhart (FF7), Zell Dincht (FF8), Vivi Orunitia (FF9), Wakka (FFX/X-2)

Strategy Person: Red XIII (FF7), Quistis Trepe (FF8), Freya Crescent (FF9), Lulu (FFX/X-2)

Slightly Annoying Whiny Bossy High Pitched Ninja Girl: Yuffie Kisaragi (FF7), Selphie Tilmitt (FF8), Eiko Carol (FF9), Rikku (FFX/X-2)

Wacky Trio: Reno, Rude, Elena (FF7), Laguna, Kiros, Ward (FF8), Marcus, Cinna, Blank (FF9), LeBlanc, Logos, Ormi(FFX/X-2)

Hey, by the way, just because I'm putting up this chapter with another group to vote on, doesn't mean you guys can't still vote on the first group in the first chapter. I'm keeping voting open until the end of the year. By that time, I should have the complete story idea finished and ready to use who you guys voted on.

So, read, review, vote, and enjoy! Later!