"Where are you going Ferret-that-looks-like-Draco-but-couldn't-possibly-be in such a hurry?" Harry queried.
The ferret, obviously not being able to communicate verbally, frantically waved its stubby paws.
"What, my parents aren't actually dead?"
The ferret rolled its beady eyes but steadily continued its futile attempts to communicate with the young wizard.
"What, I have a twin sister? At THIS very school? What, she's been raised by Dumbledore for the last sixteen years?" Harry paused for a moment. "Why hasn't Dumbledore told me any of this? WHAT, Dumbledore is evil AND Voldemort's my biological father! Hold on Mr Ferret-that-looks-like-Draco-but-couldn't-possibly-be, you're talking crazy talk. Next you'll be saying that my eyes are green."
The ferret continued its crazy little dance.
"Nuh uh. My eyes are blue, they have to be! After all, it was so in the movie. They wouldn't have gotten that vital bit of information wrong would they? I think not."
At this point, the ferret was attempting suicide as it repeatedly struck its head on the stone floor.
"What's this? There's a new girl at Hogwarts who has had no magical training whatsoever but is a natural at magic and can talk to animals? What, she's in love with me and I'm in love with her? Well…If you say so…I always thought I was in love with Draco."
The ferret's body began to convulse as it started to gag.