BANNER
I.
I hate doing the right thing. Whenever I make that choice, I end up losing everything. Last time it cost me my home, my throne, my honor. This time, I lost the only person who ever made me whole. My life is a never ending curse.
It started with the bottle. Useless junk from the sea normally doesn't bother me, but the look on her face…she held something of great importance in that frozen, snow covered bottle. She had a secret. I hate secrets.
I consulted my uncle, who was seated on the deck in his winter robes, eating noodles.
"What do you think is in it?" He scratched his beard.
"Well, could be a number of things, Prince Zuko. Perhaps a love letter from a secret admirer, eh?" He jabbed me in the ribs. The old fool.
"Uncle!"
"Why don't you ask Lenara, then? After all, this is the third bottle she's pulled from the sea." I couldn't control my anger.
"THE THIRD!" Uncle Iroh pulled his noodles away from the flames that erupted around me.
"Calm down, Prince Zuko. People use the old communication system now and again. Perhaps she is writing to her water tribe."
"Or perhaps, she's in contact with the Avatar." Uncle Iroh pointed to the helmsman's tower with his chopsticks.
"The quickest way to an answer is a straight line." I rolled my eyes. Him and his damn proverbs. I walked to the tower and headed for the stairs when I heard a loud bang, like metal on metal, from above. I watched as sparks came from the portside of the tower. Now what? This ship was falling apart!
I walked to portside and looked up. A girl, wrapped in a heavy coat, was perched on one of the metal rungs leading up the tower, her ankles tucked behind the rung below. She delivered another blow to the tower with her hammer. Her robes under the coat rippled in the breeze. I hoped she knew what she was doing up there…there was another bang, louder this time.
"Stop putting holes in my ship!" She rolled backwards, hanging upside down by her legs to look at me.
"The port side was damaged by that ice storm last week." She dropped the hammer in a tool box that was hooked to a rung just below her and found a wrench. She bent back upright and worked on tightening a bolt, then rubbed her bare hands together for warmth.
"Why are you repairing the ship? We have the crewmen for that."
"What's wrong with doing an honest day's work? You should try it sometime." I swallowed the remark. She lived for goading me, I swear it.
"Where did you learn to repair Fire Navy ships?" She glanced down at me with a smile.
"My father."
"Is there anything he didn't teach you?"
"Nope." She tossed the wrench back in the tool box and started her decent to the deck. Lenara Hün-dai reached the deck and turned to look at me, her long red hair swept back from her face, green eyes sharp.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to hit the water."
"Are you crazy? It's snowing!"
"So?" I sighed. Water benders.
"You gotta remember, Zuko, I've lived half my life in the North Pole. We used to swim those waters every day. Compared to the pole, this sea will seem like a warm bath."
"Maybe to you."
"You coming?" Before I could decline, my uncle approached us, his noodle bowl empty.
"Not yet. We need to begin your training today, Lenara."
"Alright. Let me get these tools back to Bajoü and I'll be up here in a few minutes."
"Wait." Uncle Iroh reached inside his sleeves and presented Lenara with official Fir e Nation training garb.
"You should begin this training as a fire bender, just as you should finish it as one. After all, you carry the name of a proud and disciplined family of fire benders and it's time we regard you as one." I watched her take the uniform and bow.
"Thanks, Iroh." He nudged me again.
"Actually, it was my nephew's idea," he lied. She looked at me, a warm smile on her face. God, I hate it when he lies like that. He knows I'm at my weakest when she notices me. And it's been getting worse lately. I can hardly concentrate during evening meditation without thinking of her. Lenara's hair blew across her face and she pushed it away. The ends were dark and jagged-was she burning her hair?
"Iroh, do you have your sword with you? I need to borrow it." Iroh blinked his surprise at the request, but silently handed his blade to her. That was curious-Uncle Iroh hardly lets anyone touch his sword. What was she up to?
II.
The sun was at the top of its arc, a cold hard disc on a cloudy day. Time for mid-day training. Even though the snow was continuing to fall, I had to wear my sleeveless vest. Official training dictates proper garb. Uncle Iroh seated himself on a nearby crate, a cup of hot tea in his hand.
"Let's begin with your basics, Prince Zuko." As usual, it always began with the lousy first steps of fire bending. I hated back-peddling to those easy moves, but my uncle believes they are at the core of every fire bender's regiment. Also, it's easier to just do them then argue with him.
As I was halfway through the Dragon Step, another soldier approached us.
"Continue with your training, Prince Zuko, I will see what he wants." I bent my weight on one foot, concentrating. I despise balance. The water bender makes it look so easy…there I go, thinking of her again.
Suddenly, Uncle Iroh laughed. That broke my concentration and I gave up, walking to my uncle and the soldier.
"What's going on?" I glanced at Uncle Iroh. He wiped a tear from his eye.
"Forgive me. I just didn't recognize you! I thought you were one of our soldiers!" I gave him a deranged look. Weird. I studied the soldier. And then looked harder. I wasn't aware I was leaning in until the soldier spoke.
"What? I didn't think it looked that bad." That was the last thing I expected to hear: a woman's voice from a male uniform. My stomach dropped-she had cut her hair off. It was short and, like a male soldier from the Fire Nation, tied up in a top knot, a few loose strands hung around her ears. She still had the white streaked among the red. She handed Uncle Iroh his sword. I finally found my voice.
"Lenara?"
"Well, I couldn't have my long hair getting in the way," she explained, "it was getting burned when I…uh…tried a couple of fireballs. But don't worry," she waved her hands sheepishly, "the walls are fine, just a little scorched."
"But your hair…"
"It'll grow back. Besides," she pushed my leaning body back with one finger, "the bald thing only looks good on you."
"Well, that's settled. Let's begin!" Iroh took Lenara around the shoulders and steered her away, winking at me over his shoulder. Long hair was a trademark of the water benders, girls copying their mothers. It must have taken all of her to separate herself from the last reminder she had of her mother.
Uncle Iroh began with (big surprise here) the basics. She watched him first, then attempted the moves herself while my uncle corrected her.
"Excellent balance, Lenara, but make sure your breath moves through your shoulder to your fist." She stepped again and fired another flame. The ribbon holding her hair up snapped in the wind. It looked familiar. It was the sash from my armor. Her hand had healed, but she had found another way to keep it with her. Can't say I wasn't flattered.
"Good. Let's try the next move." This went on for two hours. By the time the sun was moving towards the sea, I had run through my advanced set and practiced a few mock battles with the guards on duty for training that day. The snow had stopped. We had drifted into warmer waters, the shores stripped of anything cold. Iroh nodded to us.
"We will stop for today. You did well, Lenara. Just remember to use your breath as your strength, not your muscle. When you learn that, you can teach it to my nephew," he smirked. Lenara bowed and Iroh walked to the helmsman's tower. She went into first step.
"What are you doing?"
"If I practice it right away, I'll remember it better. I want it to become second nature to me. That way, I won't lose control the way I did…well, you know." She stopped and looked right at me.
"I never did thank you for what you did."
"Don't worry about it."
"You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?"
"Not really. Girls don't find me charming."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh." She smiled, shaking her head.
"Well, thanks anyways. You were right to stop me. I think it would have been hard to live with the fact that I had killed someone. You know, I never believed Father when he said he would send someone to watch over me," she looked at me, "I guess I have to believe him now." I willed myself not to flinch as she stepped closer to me, this overwhelming sense of pride burned through me; for once, doing the right thing didn't seem so bad…
She walked a few paces away from me and went into first step again.
"Your form is off."
"Then show me how." I walked to her left side, then stepped into the first move, the Fire Lotus.
"Keep your wrist straight."
"Like this?"
"Yes. And always keep your head up," I lifted her chin gently with my hand, "eyes ahead. Never look down to your opponent."
"Got it. Go through the first set. I'll follow." I moved first and Lenara followed my steps, picking up the moves fast. Soon we were moving through them at the same time, fire aside fire, shouts matched in the air. No one had ever been able to match my pace, but her rhythm never faltered. I wasn't aware of Iroh watching us, a proud smile on his face. All I saw was the sun ahead and felt the spirit of one that moved with me.
III.
We stopped when the sun was painting its departure in burnt reds and oranges. The ship had slowed. They were getting ready for the night's pursuit. Lenara kicked off her boots.
"That does it. It's time for a swim!" Before I could blink, she ran to the edge of the ship and dived off into the waves. What a goon. It must have been two degrees in there!
I walked to the rails and watched her swim rapidly in time with the ship. The engine was shutting down. As it slowed to a stop, she looked up at me, treading water.
"You gonna stay up there or are you coming in?" I wrinkled my nose.
"I'm not much for swimming."
"The water's pretty cool."
"That's the problem."
"Oh, c'mon, Zuko! It's not that cold. Afraid of having a little fun for once in your life?"
"No, I just…a fire bender's place is not in the water, it's…."
"GANGWAY!" I turned in time to watch Uncle Iroh sail over the rail and cannonball into the water, sending up a wave that crashed on the deck. I sighed. I'm related to this man. He bobbed to the surface and pushed himself on his back atop the waves, his loincloth the only clothing he chose to wear. The great General Iroh was swimming in the sea…practically naked. This was so embarrassing…
"You should learn to relax, nephew. The water is very soothing." Lenara brushed the water up around her, raising her up to the deck of the ship. She leaned her arms on the rail and looked right at me.
"So, how about that swim?"
"I told you, I don't belong down there."
"According to the Fire Nation, you don't belong anywhere. Aren't you tired of other people telling you where you belong?" I couldn't deny that.
"Besides, it's not where you belong; it's who you belong with. Do you belong on this ship alone on the deck or in the water with an uncle who thinks the world of you and a friend who's about ready to lower herself to begging for your company?" I knew she was joking, but it felt good to hear someone actually wanted me around.
"Don't you ever get tired of being right all the time?" She smiled.
"Sometimes." I removed my own boots. That water was going to be cold as hell. I stepped onto the rail and dived into the water. The cool abyss consumed me, almost healing my weary body. So this was her element. I surfaced and found Lenara sitting on top of the water, looking down at me.
"Glad you came."
"I just came in to cool off, that's all." A stream of water splashed my face. I glared. Lenara laughed.
"How about now? Ya cooled off yet?" Oh, she was in for it. I dunked her below the waves, but she grabbed my ankle and we both disappeared beneath the surface. The sun dipped below the sea at the same moment. I'll never admit this to a soul again, but that was one of the best days of my life. I almost forgot about the Avatar. Almost. It was Lenara who mentioned it to me.
"What are your plans a week from today?"
"I…well, to find the Avatar."
"We're approaching the Western Air Temple. I'm sure you were aware of that?" I frowned.
"I knew we were getting close. Why? Is the Avatar there?"
"Ever the persistent Prince. No, but something else is. I need to stop by that temple when we reach it next week." A suspicion boiled in my thoughts.
"Does this have anything to do with your father's mission."
"Yes, actually, it's the last piece of the gift I have to give to Aang."
"That temple will be swarming with Fire Nation soldiers. They've been ordered to guard any Air Temple the Avatar would return to."
"Which is why I was wondering if you had any plans." I must have looked pretty disturbed because she splashed me again.
"Wake up, Zuko! It's time to embrace your destiny!"
"You mean your destiny."
"Well, our destiny, then. You know, it would be a sneaky way to sock it to Zhao if we got past his soldiers." I did like the sound of that.
"Fine. But we have to leave for the temple before dawn."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
"Why do I let you talk me into these ventures?" She swam a little closer.
"Because I enjoy your company, remember? Actually, I know you'll watch my back. This trip is extremely important and I only get one shot at it." Iroh floated our way.
"If you could," he pointed up to the deck, "I'm getting pruney." Lenara waved the water up, pushing my uncle above us on a cushion of water.
"Thanks for putting off your search for me, Zuko. It means a lot."
"You owe me."
"Is that really how you feel?" I thought about it and shook my head.
"No, I suppose not." She bent us both back up to the ship. We stood on the deck, dripping wet under the purple sky, and she fixed me with her eyes, a serious expression fallen over her features.
"Why do you measure worth in what favors are owed you or what power you have over others?"
"I don't know," I grumbled.
"And while we're at it, why beat yourself up for the things you never lost? Can't you see you're more than the scar on your face or the past you keep hauling around?" She was confronting my demons again. I always get defensive when my soul is being ripped opened.
"I'll never forget what he did to me. Never."
"And you shouldn't."
"But you want me to ignore a scar that reminds me every day of the solitary sentence I have to live with? To ignore the shame?"
"That's your battle. I just hope you know that the scar and the royal title and everything that the Fire Nation has dumped on you before it turned you away doesn't make you who you are to me." I slowed my breathing.
"And what am I to you?"
"Well, what else can I say? You're Zuko."
"Could you be little more vague; I almost understood that." She shook her head, a grin on her lips.
"Just remember- you could fall into the abyss chasing your damn ambition and I would still respect you, Zuko. That is what you mean to me." Curse the Avatar, I felt my blood run hot in my face, a flame that licked through my veins. Somehow she always made me feel slightly less repulsive.
"Someday," she said, turning to leave, "I hope you'll realize you've had your honor all along. The respect of those who care for you should outweigh those who banished you without a second thought." She disappeared into the darkness of the galley.
Yes, I knew she was right. But my demons weren't finished with me yet. A confrontation was in the cards and if this world had an ounce of justice in it, I would confront my father before it all ended. A scar for a scar, a life for a life. Half of me wanted to believe he would welcome me back home. The other half knew better. This was no longer the obsession it had begun as; it had cooled to acceptance of defeat when Zhao had been granted the task of capturing the Avatar. True, I helped the Avatar escape, but it was a double-edged temptation to capture the boy myself. I wasn't sure whose side I was on anymore. But Lenara seemed sure I was capable of something great. All I knew was that I longed for home and the only person that made me feel anywhere close to that was an enemy of my homeland, a traitor, and prisoner, like me. And God, it felt good to be whole.
IV.
Uncle Iroh approached me a few days later in the dining chamber, a worried look on his old features. He hardly betrayed his anxiety, so I prepared myself for the worst.
"What's the bad news?" I asked before he even opened his mouth.
"Well, Prince Zuko! Your intuition is getting stronger. Have you been…"
"Enough banter, Uncle. What have you to tell me." He grew solemn and sat down opposite me. He deposited a scroll, worn and faded, on the table.
"Your trip to the Western Air Temple is more than a sight-seeing tour, nephew. That temple is home to the archives of the Avatar. It has the most extensive collection of history and lore about the Avatar than anywhere in the world."
"Really?"
"Yes. It is also home to the Rü-lan: the sacred banners of the Air bender Avatars. They are rumored to contain the secrets of air bending on them and are said to be woven from the wind." Iroh shifted and unrolled the scroll across the table at me. The paper uncoiled to show an indiscernible sketch at the top, but the word printed at the bottom was just as puzzling.
"Hotaru? What's that?"
"It means 'Bell of the Avatar'."
"Okay. So what?"
"There were a few ancient weapons the Avatar always carried," my uncle explained, "but were lost along the lines of Avatars. One of those weapons was a bell that, if rung by the Avatar, would call the people of this world together. He could use it to announce important news or…"
"…gather an army," I finished. Uncle Iroh nodded.
"The bell must be made from each of the four elements: metal for fire, stones for earth, that kind of thing. But the objects could not be ordinary. The metal, for example, must be made from a special ore in the Yukito Mountains."
"Those glass lumps we passed a while ago?"
"Yes. The stones are the Sacred stones of the Earth Temple of Ashitaka. That was also on our path. However, the water from the falls of Hakü was not. But I'm sure the water could easily be transported to our path by way of, say, a bottle…" My eyes got a little wider.
"I doubt our meeting with the Avatar in the woods was a coincidence. Those woods were a few miles shy of the Yukito Mountains," Uncle Iroh commented.
"And the air element? The banners at the temple, I suppose?"
"Yes nephew. Lenara is constructing the Hotaru for the Avatar to use. If the people of this world gather around him and face the Fire Nation army, the Avatar will completely evade your grasp." I gave my uncle a weary look. I wasn't so sure about that.
"So what you're saying is the Avatar will call together all the people my father has tortured, betrayed and devastated with his war and use them to level the Fire Nation army while the Avatar destroys my father? Can't say I'm in a panic to stop him, uncle."
"Perhaps not, Prince Zuko, but consider this-if the Avatar does release this world of its war and the nations are free, the Fire Nation's fate is left in his hands. Our people are innocent, but the reputation of the Fire Nation has been tarnished beyond repair. The Avatar is forgiving, but he is also young and emotional. We destroyed his only family years ago at the Southern Air Temple. Peaceful monks murdered in the spring of forty years past. Has it been that long?" Uncle drifted off, lost in thought. I contemplated what he had said.
Would the Avatar be bitter enough to forsake my people? It didn't seem possible, but the nations had drifted apart. The boy I rescued didn't seem to harbor any anger against me. But could I take the chance that he never would? Could I risk the welfare and safety of my people? This mission through Purgatory wasn't really about my honor or revenge: it was about the Fire Nation, my home, my people. It was always about them. I met my uncle's eyes.
"It is unfortunate that you are burdened by so much, Prince Zuko, but you have a responsibility as the Prince of the Fire Nation to put your people's interests first. The best way to do that is to reclaim your place in the royal line. Your father gave you a way to do that-to capture the Avatar," he leaned forward, a mischievous grin on his face, "He was a fool to underestimate you. His own order to find the Avatar will be his undoing. I've only known you to be self-sacrificing when it comes to your fellow Fire Nation patriots, nephew. You've made me proud of our family again with your compassion and relentless determination. If you regain the throne, the Fire Nation's future will be very bright indeed." Man, leave it to Uncle Iroh to make you feel like a diamond on this rough rock of a world.
"Thanks, Uncle."
"You are welcome, Prince Zuko. And do me one favor."
"What's that?" Iroh stood up from the table.
"I lost her aunt due to my duties as a General. Don't lose Lenara because of yours. You can be both a leader and a companion, you know." He passed through the doorway, his lonely footsteps echoed the loss he carried with him. I never knew what burdens Uncle Iroh carried with him. He never made them known. He was always more concerned with the troubles of those around him. And here he lost the company of this woman in order to serve in my grandfather's army. I clenched my fists. Damn this war.
V.
Lenara and I boarded my personal vessel a week later and drifted for the Western Air Temple. We figured two people would be less noticeable than an army of crewmen. Iroh agreed to cover our wake and continue on, making the Fire Prince's presence known without my actually being there.
The minute the boat touched shore, we disembarked and raced for the rocky cover of the foothills. Like every Air Temple, the Western Temple was built atop a sharp, vertical mountain. Even the clouds hung below the temple.
"Did they have to build it so high up?"
"C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?"
"Back in the boat." Lenara crouched low, racing from outcrop to outcrop, the scattering of Fire Nation soldiers keeping a vigilant eye out for us. We approached the solid base of the mountain.
"How are we going to get up there? We don't have a hot-air glider." Lenara rolled a large rock away from a hole in the ground.
"We are going to air bend ourselves up there."
"Right. Uh, about that: we're not air benders."
"Nope, but hot air rises, and with a little pressure, we can get up to the path that leads to the temple. Now, this will make an obnoxious amount of noise, so we only get one chance at this." I heard water below the ground. A geyser. Great.
She used her fire to boil the water, then pointed to another hole in the ground.
"Stand right above that!" She ran to me and encircled her arm around my shoulders.
"Hold on!" I watched as she thrust the water below. The pressure whistled through the ground. The earth shook in protest. I involuntarily pulled Lenara closer to me. The hot air burst through the hole and we soared through the air, separated by the force. We arced towards the mountain. I honestly thought we would end up as smears on the rocky wall. Instead we landed bruised and in a heap on the mountain path.
"I didn't know there would be broken bones on this trip," I muttered, stretching my soar back.
"Hey, I got us up here, didn't I?" Lenara rubbed her scraped elbow.
"How are we getting down?"
"You know, I haven't quite figured that out yet." We ran as fast as our fractured bodies would allow to the temple. Those soldiers were sure to have heard that eruption and we wouldn't have much time up here to ourselves.
Lenara paused in the doorway of the massive, vertical cone of the air temple, a building made of dried mud slabs and white clay. She scanned the main hall.
"Now, if I were a sacred Air bender banner, where would I be," she mused to herself. I grabbed her arm.
"Not here. C'mon." We ran to the archive, which was located in the middle of the temple. The door, once locked, was opened. Lenara paused as I moved on into the room. I turned to her.
"What?"
"Only an air bender could have opened this door."
"So?"
"Soooo….who opened the door? Aang's the only air bender I know and he hasn't been to this temple. Ever."
"Fire Nation soldiers could have…"
"No, they couldn't have. Doesn't the Fire Temple for Avatar Roku have a similar door that only fire will open?" I thought back to the temple where the Avatar had enclosed himself in the sacred chamber with the spirit of Roku.
"Yes. But I was under the impression that the Avatar was the last air bender."
"Me, too…" she trailed off, then her face lit up.
"What if…what if Aang's not the last air bender? What if there are others out there who escaped the Fire Nation? There's got to be! The door is proof! Wait 'til I tell Aang!" She suddenly threw her arms around me in an embrace. I laughed my surprise. She was so unpredictable, and I loved her for it. Yes, I loved her…don't get too excited.
"Okay, there's other air benders. Now, focus. We came here for a reason, remember?" She calmed down.
"Right. Sorry." We entered the room together and her face changed from excitement to devastation.
"What happened in here?" The records had been scattered, scrolls torn and discarded on the floor. The ash of a thousand years of lore and history lay thick on the floor. A tell-tale Fire Nation helmet lay among the scarred and burnt books. Lenara's voice was a ghost in the room.
"It's gone. A whole history of the Avatar…everything…" I stood behind her. She dropped to her knees before I could say a word.
"Father, I'm sorry; I failed you-you and the Avatar." Her hands searched out a thin gold band buried in the ash.
"An air bender lay here…still warm…"she rolled the band back and forth in her hands, lost in thought and time. I wasn't about to write this off. I circled the room, rooting through half charred scrolls and rubble for some clue of the Rü-lan. Another child lost…I was getting fed up with this war. I just happened to glance at the brick wall near the floor and a tiny imperfection in one of the bricks caught my eye. I moved closer. I knew that mark.
"I don't believe it," I said aloud.
"What?" Lenara walked over and joined me, crouching down.
"Recognize that?" She gasped, a smile hesitating on her face.
"The mark of the Hün-dai? How…"
"Who knows? C'mon, we don't have much time!" We found the seams and chiseled the mortar until we could move the stone away. Lenara reached inside and pulled out a thin scroll made of dusty cloth, covered in runes and symbols. She looked at me, a warm smile on her face.
"The Rü-lan, last known scroll of the Air benders. You found it, Zuko! Way to think like a mad genius!"
"I'll bet the monks put your family mark on it for your father."
"I'm sure. We're in your debt for this; my father and I."
"Forget it. You saved my ship, I helped with your mission. We're square." As Lenara scanned the symbols on the scroll, I picked my way to another corner and almost stepped on a handful of lone scrolls that lay buried under ash and stone. I unrolled a few of them slowly; these were painted on rough, heavy paper. The ink was faded, but still complete. I unraveled the next and stopped. It couldn't be…could it? In the archives of an Air Temple? I glanced at Lenara, but she was too engrossed in the Rü-lan to notice.
A shout broke the silence of the temple. We jumped to our feet. I stuck the scroll in my sleeve, Lenara pocketed the Rü-lan, and we ran for the temple door. Fire Nation soldiers snaked up the path at a tireless sprint.
"Got any ideas?" Lenara asked. I searched the main hall. A few clay masks hung abandoned by the door. They showed the Blue Spirit. Was my life doomed to repetition?
"Here," I tossed a mask to Lenara, "move fast, aim low." She recognized the face. A grin appeared.
"Got it."
"Ready?" I pulled my mask down.
"Remember to use your breath, not your muscle."
"What are you, my uncle?"
"Guess we all have a little Iroh in us, huh?"
"Two uncles I don't need."
"Then good luck. I'll meet you below." She ran like the wind at the first soldier, fired a long flame at him, dropped and swept the other down with a kick. She was up and running before I made it out the temple door. I guess having the Rü-lan restored her strength. It was encouraging watching her fight. I, on the other hand, felt only one thing as I bared down on the nearest fire bender- get me off this damn mountain!
VI.
And before I knew it…she was gone. Uncle Iroh warned me, but I was still amazed how quickly time passed. I was also aware how empty the ship felt.
With the Rü-lan secured, Lenara set to work putting the Hotaru together. I could catch the spark of light from her room in the long hours of the night. Sometimes, I finished my meditation and retired to bed before she did. I think she wasn't getting much sleep.
Winter passed with a final storm, and the waters began to warm again. The ice cleared, watersheds filled, and slowly the trees sported spots of green on the weather-torn branches. A different wind blew, anxious and heavy. It was the wind that changed the day.
We were finishing training, one last practice Agni-kai before the evening meal. Lenara had improved a great deal during the winter months. She still cheated, using water bending to catch me off guard, but nothing like our first fight. We kept it civil.
"You call that fire bending?" she yelled, blasting a flame at me, "I've seen scarier stuff comin' outta my…"
"Assuming you could even hit the broad side of a Fire Navy ship, water leech!"
"I thought we were above name calling, Scarface! Now, watch this!" She bent a six foot wave over the deck. I backed up.
"Hey, that's cheating!"
"All's fair in Agni-kai!" I grinned as the shadow fell over me.
"You're gonna get it."
"I quiver with fear." A sudden, sharp wind tore over the deck, knocking Lenara down. It took all my strength to remain standing in the gale. The wave was broken and blew backwards to settle into the sea. The wind dropped, then moved on. Uncle Iroh appeared and helped Lenara to her feet.
"Strange winds blowing this time of year." Lenara nodded and, without a word, turned and walked briskly to the decks below.
"It's time," my uncle said.
"Time for what?"
"Time," Uncle Iroh answered, "to present the Avatar with the Hotaru." He glanced at the horizon, the sun struggling to submerge below the sea.
"The Avatar calls her. He must not be too far away," he turned to me, "so, what will you do?" Yeah, what indeed?
She stayed in her room the rest of the night. Just before dawn, someone shook me out of my sleep.
"Whoever you are," I grumbled, eyes pinched shut, "you'd better have a damn good reason for waking me this early." My uncle's voice spoke in the dark.
"Lenara is leaving." I've never dressed faster in my life.
We stood, just my mentor and I, on the deck, dawn beginning to wash some color in the sky. We saw Lenara, a small leather satchel slung over her shoulder, sneaking past the helmsman's tower, glancing behind her. She turned and stopped quick when she saw us.
"You didn't really think you could leave without saying goodbye, hmm?" Iroh chuckled. Lenara walked up to us.
"I don't do goodbyes."
"You're going to the Avatar," I said.
"That's the plan."
"And the Hotaru is complete?"
"Figured that out, huh?" She adjusted the strap around her shoulder, "Aang's time is near. And my father's mission is almost done…it'll be a relief to finish. I just hope it works. I've never made an Avatar weapon before." She touched the scar on her hand, where I had burned the wound closed.
"You know, you still have yet to tell me where the Avatar is." I was stalling for time and she knew it, but I couldn't help it.
"We never finished that Agni-Kai, so I'm not required to tell you anything." I sighed. Ever the stubborn Hün-dai.
"I need to find the Avatar, Lenara, for my people's sake. Even if my father is overthrown by the Avatar, my people's future is in his hands. I will still be in exile. And what if the Avatar ignores the needs of the Fire Nation?"
"Do you really think Aang could be that cruel?"
"I'm not sure."
"I think you know he would never neglect the needs of anyone, Fire Nation or no. He was once Avatar Roku, remember? He wouldn't forsake the Fire Nation. And about your exile: who's going to argue that you are the heir to the throne of the Fire Nation? If Aang overthrows your father, you are the next in the royal bloodline, exile-be-damned." She grinned.
"I'm not going to tell you where Aang is, Zuko, so you might as well let him rest. All the fire in the world couldn't summon it out of me." I glared. She was getting in the way of my ambition, but I really couldn't hold it against her. She had her ambition, too.
"Don't tell me I'll have to fight you to get off this ship."
"You're not a prisoner. Besides, I don't want to risk another Agni-kai with you."
"Afraid I'll win or afraid I'll kiss you again?" I swallowed. Did she have to be so forward? Did I have to be so hesitant?
"Neither."
"I don't have to leave, you know." It took everything in the world to just stand there and do the right thing.
"Yes you do. Your father's legacy is a little more important than staying on this ship with a disgruntled, ugly Prince. Besides, I guess it's better you not tell me where the Avatar is-I want to earn my honor back, not have it handed to me."
"Oh, you'll earn it, all right. Thanks for understanding. And for the record," she leaned forward and touched the scar over my eye with cool fingers, "You're not ugly." She let her hand linger and I stayed perfectly still. Uncle Iroh cleared his throat. We both stepped back awkwardly.
"Just be careful and remember your basics," he said, handing Lenara a wrapped package in a sealed jar, "some jasmine tea for the trip," he explained. She and my uncle embraced. They separated and my uncle nudged me. I turned, puzzled, as he handed me an old worn scroll. Ah, yes. That's Uncle Iroh, always ten steps ahead.
"Here," I held the scroll out to Lenara. She gave me an apprehensive look.
"I didn't know there would be a gift exchange. And here I am without…" she fell silent, the scroll stretched in her hands. Her eyes scanned the scroll, her expression hard to read. Iroh and I exchanged glances. She let out her breath as she spoke.
"Where did you find this?"
"In the Western Air Temple, below some of the debris."
"I…I can't believe you found this." She lowered the scroll so I could see the grey-green tones of the painting of Taro Hün-dai. The eyes gave it away.
"You said you were having trouble remembering his face, so perhaps this will help." She raised her head to look at me.
"This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me." And before I knew it, she encircled her arms around me, pulling me to her, the scroll still clutched in her hand as her head rested on my shoulder. What could I say? I had wanted to do this kindness for her. I had heard people say they lived for another's happiness-it didn't seem so sappy now.
The wind suddenly raced over us, again it was strong and anxious. The Avatar. He was calling her away from me. For a brief moment, I could have killed that kid.
Lenara pulled away, leaving me with the ghost of her warmth. She dropped the scroll in a glass bottle at her side, then tossed it in her leather satchel. She turned to us both and bowed.
"Thanks again for all of your generosity. The journey was…interesting, but I think I was meant to take this trip."
"Next time we meet, we will play Pi-sho. I've got a strategy that will knock your socks off!" Iroh grinned.
"You wish, old man." Lenara smiled. She shifted her eyes to me.
"Thank you for the gift, Zuko. I'll never forget this."
"For everything you've done, for all your encouragement, I felt I owed you."
"You don't. You owe me nothing in return."
"Is that how you really feel?" She pulled her hand up to her arm, but I reached out and caught it in my own. I was through hesitating, but she spoke first.
"This is the only kind of love, as I understand it, that there really is." Her hand tore away from mine, she turned and sprinted for the bow. I buried my emotions and did the right thing: I let her go. The water rose up as she dived and it swallowed her from our sight. That was the last I saw of Lenara Hün-dai..
Uncle Iroh sighed. Then he clapped me on the back.
"You did the right thing, Prince Zuko."
"I hate doing the right thing, uncle. I always lose everything when I do."
"Oh, I don't know about that. She left you with a pretty good idea as to where the Avatar is going to be." He grinned at me. What conversation was he listening to?
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, she said 'all the fire in the world' wouldn't persuade her to speak the Avatar's location. Where is most of the fire in the world located?"
"The Fire Nation."
"Right. And perhaps she wasn't just mentioning the Fire Nation. Where does most of our fire come from?" I folded my arms.
"The volcanoes. But there are hundreds of them. Which one will the Avatar be at?"
"Think, nephew, or were you too busy figuring out she loves you? When she refused to reveal the location, she told you to 'just let it rest'."
"No, not 'it', uncle. 'HIM'. Let him rest." I started to understand. Let him rest. Who was she talking about? I paced the deck. The Fire Nation, the volcanoes, the Avatar, let him rest…let someone rest in the Fire Nation volcano…
"Avatar Roku. They're going to the final resting place of Avatar Roku."
"Ah, yes. What better place to ring the Bell of the Avatar than at the grave of the previous Avatar?" Uncle Iroh mused. I brushed past him, striding towards the helmsman's tower. He had to jog to keep up.
I take it we're leaving now?" I smiled. 'Pretty clever, Lenara. You knew I would see you again.'
I woke the helmsman and ordered him to get us to top speed. I was going home…
"On everything our choices depend, we stand on the brink everyday, and with this beginning comes an end, to mark the path and lead the way."—J.R.R. Tolkein