Disclaimer: i don't own beyblade, but i do own the plot in this fic and any OC's that you see in it.
Kai sat in the darkness. His blankets were pooled around his waist as he stared into space. He was shivering. He'd just woken up and his mind was still groggy.
He was still staring at the blood.
The crimson blood on the snow, it gleamed wetly at him. As if to tell him that it wasn't all right.
He'd killed her.
He'd caused her to be shot. He'd told her to keep on running. He'd thought that maybe, just maybe she might make it. That would make everything all right if she made it. She would be able to help the others, and her father…he wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. He wouldn't be able to hurt any of them anymore.
But it wasn't all right. She was dead; nothing would ever be all right again.
She hadn't made it. It wasn't fair. He'd just wanted all the hurt to stop, that had been all. That had been their mission.
They'd failed.
"Kai…look at me Kai" the words came from very far away. He blinked, finally seeing the blue green eyes that were staring at him. The events of the past day came rushing back to him as he recognised the face that was looking at him worriedly.
Still only half awake, he flung his arms around her form. To reassure himself of her realness, and because he was still afraid. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes as the memories clamoured up inside of him.
Rage knelt on the bed, biting her lip against the pain as Kai's grip caused her ribs to ache and her back to sting. In so many ways he was still so much like a child she mused as she rubbed his back reassuringly. In so many ways he was still so innocent, whereas in others his innocence had been irreparably ruined. Mostly though, he was just scared as he had a right to be. As both of them had a right to be…after all that had happened to them.
"Pl…please…please don't die" Kai choked, unintentionally digging his fingers into the back of her orange nightshirt in his desperation not to be separated from her again. He sounded like a terrified child instead of a cold fifteen year old. How his new friends could ever mistake his fear of people and expressing emotions for coldness and indifference was beyond her. But then again, she had known him much longer than they had. And they were learning, they would have to change their views now that they knew about his scars.
"Please don't…don't leave" Kai whispered, suddenly sounding small and scared. He felt helpless, like a child. He didn't want her to go away again. He didn't want her to get hurt again. And…he didn't want her to leave him again…to leave him alone. Like before.
He was shivering, with his fiery eyes shut tight against the nightmares that threatened to enter his head. Memories just do not let go, no matter how much you try to run from them…no matter how much you try to forget.
Rage leaned her chin forward to rest gently on his shoulder. She stroked his smooth navy hair soothingly. Her eyes glinted knowingly as she stared absentmindedly into the darkness that surrounded them. She knew what he was going through, that was part of the reason why he trusted her so much. Why he allowed her to see him in such a weak state, because she had seen him in much worse states before.
"I'm right here Kai, and I'm not going anywhere," she said reassuringly. "And I don't plan on dying anytime soon, that I promise you."
Her aqua eyes glowed with conviction as she rhythmically brushed her fingers through his hair. She half closed her eyes calmly as she began softly humming a lullaby. As soon as the first haunting notes reached his ears, she felt him still. Comforted by the familiarity of the tune.
She had used this tune so many times to comfort both him and herself, that she knew it instinctively. Sometimes when she was worried she would even start humming it to herself without realising what she was doing. It was second nature to her. It was special to her.
As she felt him begin to relax, she allowed her eyes to close. To picture the words to the tune she was humming in her mind.
'Hush little baby, don't say a word'When she had been very young, her mother had always used this lullaby to sing her to sleep. Always this lullaby, no other. That was the reason she remembered it so well.
'Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird'She remembered only a few little things about her mother. This had been one.
'And if that mocking bird won't sing'
She couldn't really remember what her mother had looked like. When she tried really hard to remember, she could only see a blur where her mother's face should be.
'Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring'She remembered that her mother had always smelt of baked cakes, and sweet things. 'And if that diamond ring turns brass'
When she had arrived at the abbey. She could think of no way to comfort the children there who were so sad.
'Mama gonna buy you a looking glass'So she had simply used the only thing she knew comforted her when she was sad.
'And if that looking glass gets broke'She'd used her lullaby.
'Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat'And it had worked.
'And if that billy goat won't pull'Thinking of her mother made her feel scared as well as comforted.
'Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull'Maybe it had something to do with how she had disappeared.
'And if that cart and bull falls down'Her father had said that one day she had just upped up and abandoned them. Walked out on them. Rage wasn't too sure.
'You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town'But she didn't like to think about it. It hurt too much, and there were other things to occupy her attention.
The smallest smile pricked at her lips as she realised that Kai was very soundly asleep on her shoulder. She eased him down to a lying position gently, knowing how easy it was to wake him. She very carefully pulled the blankets over his slumbering form.
For a minute she allowed herself to watch his sleeping form. His breathing was so quiet that Rage could only reassure herself of his being alive by the gentle rising and falling of his chest. They were more like soldiers, really than kids. Their training had certainly never given them any lenience for their youth.
They were suffering for that now. Rage could not imagine the scaring affects of their childhood years ever fading away. But maybe now that they were together again, she could learn to cope with her problems. And she could help Kai to cope with his.
As long as Bathos doesn't have his way Rage thought, her hands starting to tremble.
She clambered back into her bed, snuggling into the blankets for comfort. The bed had been placed between both Kai's and Ray's beds. Probably to protect her if something bad happened, like Bathos trying to sneak in or something. It made her feel a little safer with this arrangement, Ray seemed a nice guy. He just seemed like one of those people you knew that you could trust.
Trust was a big issue to both her and Kai. There had been a lot of people in both their lives who they had thought that they could trust and they'd been proved wrong. She was a much slower learner in that department than Kai though. As a small child Kai had quickly learnt that people could hurt him if he put faith in them.
Adults were mostly the problem, but other kids could betray trust as well. With the exception of a few select individuals, which included her. The young Kai had trusted no one, and would go to great lengths to distance himself from them. Because if he had gotten close, it would hurt that much more when he was betrayed.
Rage had taken longer to learn that lesson. Because of the hurt caused from that, she was much more wary when it came to people. But she had also learnt to trust Kai's judgement of people. If Kai trusted someone, then there was no doubt that they were trustworthy. He was a very suspicious guy when it came to friendship and trust.
Which meant that his team…his friends could be trusted. She just hoped that they wouldn't stop being his friends when they knew more about where he had come from. About his past. Not that she thought that they would…but she wasn't the best judge of character. And some of the things that they'd been through weren't easy to hear about.
Then again…they were even harder to talk about.
"Did he used to do that a lot…when he was little I mean?"
The sudden voice made her turn her head sharply to the left to identify the speaker. She met Ray's amber gaze curiously, surprised that he was awake.
She snuggled back into the blankets, a thoughtful look on her face before answering.
"Me and Kai could practically run our whole nightmare club." She said cryptically, her eyes averted from his self-consciously. "If you're big on sleep then you're gonna have problems."
"I don't need too much sleep anyway," Ray said, giving her a reassuring smile even though it was too dark for her to see it. "I don't think that I'll mind too much, besides I've been rooming with Kai for years now…."
"But…" he added, his expression darkening and his voice becoming grim. "I've never seen him as bad as recently. He never really had any nightmares before we came back to Russia for this tournament. But now…" Ray's words trailed off, fading into the blackness surrounding them.
"I may be to blame for that" Rage stated, her voice tinged slightly with guilt.
"That can't be true" Ray said, confusion in his voice. "You only met him again yesterday, so how could you?"
"Its kind of hard to explain" Rage confessed, turning gently in the bed till she was staring at the ceiling. She crossed her arms loosely over the top of her blankets, her eyes unfocused as her mind drifted among unpleasant memories.
"Me and Kai have been friends for ages, we grew up together. That kind of thing forms a bond that can't be broken, even after long amounts of time. Since we both are close to our bit beasts, Tasmine and Dranzer formed a close bond too. The fact that both are of the fire element may have made this stronger, I'm not really too sure how it works. But if I am nearby then Dranzer becomes able to sense Tasmine and vice versa. My guess is that Dranzer's faint sensing of Tasmine and me echoed in Kai's subconscious as nightmares."
For a moment, both of them just lay in their beds. Silent as this new information was processed.
"You two must have gone through a lot together to form a bond as strong as that" Ray whispered quietly into the darkness.
Rage nodded to herself, the darkness cloaking the fear and pure terror shimmering in her eyes as she thought back. As she remembered. As she remembered what had happened to them.
"Too much" she murmured under her breath. Squeezing her shining aqua eyes shut in an effort to block out the memories.
'Stop it! You're killing him!''Leave her alone!'
'Go away, go away.'
'If you cry then he'll be sure to kill you'
Kids weren't supposed to have to deal with that stuff. No one was supposed to deal with that sort of stuff. But Rage had a feeling that Kai was haunted by his memories too. Which meant that Rage had to at least try and keep it together…for his sake.
The next morning was strangely sunny. A harsh brightness that hid the bitter cold of the outside air. Kai, without so much as mentioning the events of last night roused the team for a mornings worth of training. Rage was already up, but didn't speak of the previous night either. Which advised Ray to keep his mouth shut about Kai's nightmare as well.
Although he did pass on Rage's theory about the bond between the two fire bit beasts over breakfast with the team. Kai actually joined them at the table, and didn't seem too bothered about the conversation. Merely glancing at Rage; who replied with a simple shrug that seemed to satisfy the slate haired teen.
After Rage had finally convinced Kai to eat a piece of toast. A hard task to do seeing as none of them had ever really witnessed Kai have breakfast before. Kai lead them to the training room and set up tasks for all of them to work on.
Well…almost all of them.
"Kai I'm bored!" Rage moaned from her spot sat crossed legged on the floor.
"I wanna blade please?" she pouted, her entire body language screaming 'fed up'.
Kai sighed, raking a hand exasperatedly through his hair. He had known that it wouldn't be easy to get Rage to just watch for once, but this was ridiculous.
"Look Rage, I've already told you. You are too wounded to blade; as soon as you get better then you can join in. But not now, alright?"
It was obvious that Rage wasn't satisfied with that explanation. As she held his determined glare with her sulky one. Secretly he was rather pleased that her immaturity had not been completely stomped out by the abbey training. But that did not stop her from being just slightly annoying.
He went back to witnessing the battle between Tyson and Max before…
"Kai…please can I blade? I'll be really, really careful. Honest."
Kai's eye started to twitch.
"Back in a minute Kai" Ray called out suddenly, pausing in his solo blading to run from the room.
Tyson and Max's battle ended in a draw; Kai was just giving them some advice on how to improve before Ray came rushing back through the door. A book clasped in his hands. He knelt down next to the sulking Rage, who immediately brightened up. Curious as to what he was offering to her.
"It's the first book of the film you liked so much yesterday" Ray explained with an encouraging smile for her to take it.
"Harry potter and the philosopher's stone" she read out from the cover; her boredom immediately disappeared at the new treasure that she took gently into her hands. She gazed at it in awe; she'd never been allowed to read a book for 'fun' before. Not since she'd been a little baby anyway, when her mother had read to her.
"I figured that it might give you something to do" Ray said, pleased as Rage solemnly opened the smooth covered book to the first page.
He backed away to the training dish; watching with a smile as she absorbed the writing. Obviously in a state of complete awe at the brand new object that she could learn about. For the first time since the training had begun, she was silent.
Kai shot Ray a grateful glance; one so quick and lacking of emotions that only by being around Kai for the last few years did Ray know that the team captain was actually offering a thank you. If a quite foreign and hidden one. Then it was gone, leaving Ray to wonder if he'd just imagined it.
"Ray" Kai said sternly, locking the blader in his commanding gaze. "I want you to battle against Tyson next."
"Max" he said turning to address the blonde blader, "You can sit this one out."
Max's baby blue eyes widened with surprise. Usually he would have been told to do some solo blading on his own. Kai had never given them extra time off before. He'd really better move quickly before he suddenly changed his mind.
"Sure Kai" he garbled, rushing to claim a spot next to Rage. He'd warmed up quickly to the dark haired girl. She was a good person, and needed support right now. Plus she, unlike Kai was more likely to welcome his company.
'Especially if he brought sweets' he thought as he placed an open bag of sherbet candies between them. She responded by moving the book slightly so that he could read the page as well, popping a candy casually into her mouth in the process.
Not that he was going to give up on Kai of course. No matter how much Kai pushed away from them, Max would always stand by him; in case he decided he needed a friend after all. He'd made that silent promise to himself as soon as he had laid eyes on those scars in the hospital.
"Page" she announced, moving to turn it onto the next page.
"Wait!" he protested, "I'm not finished yet!"
She looked ready to argue before Max cleverly offered her the bag of sweets. She took a handful and waited most patiently for him to finish the page.
It went on like that peacefully…until at exactly nine o'clock; there was a knock at the door. Rage looked up from the book fearfully, the police were here. And she would have to reveal some secrets…
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