Aftermath
Blair sat alone in the small chapel. He knew no one would think he would come here. It's what he was counting on. He knew how well-meaning the others would be. But he didn't want that right now. What he really wanted, he couldn't have. It was even too late to pray for a miracle.
There were things that needed to be done, things that needed to be decided. But he could postpone that for a while. After all, he was grieving. And from studies he had done and what he had read, the grieving was allotted a measure of time to grieve. Where nothing was expected of them. It surprised him that he was able to clinically look at his own situation and match it to proven sociology in society. But looking at things clinically allowed him to distance himself from the pain and hurt in his heart over his loss.
He had come here after… Even now, it hurt. And he had been alone, telling everyone else he wanted the final hours alone with his mother. He had even sent Jim away, telling him to return home and that he would call when it was over. If he didn't call, Jim would assume Naomi was holding on to life and Blair didn't need him.
Blair did need Jim, but didn't want him to come. He wanted this time for himself. Later, he knew he'd be expected to be the strong one and get through the rituals and the steady stream of family (what there was left) and friends wanting to give and share their condolences to him over his loss. He knew this ritual better than most, it being a common one throughout most cultures. He had studied it throughout college, over and over again. He had seen it first-hand during many of the expeditions he had participated in. He had been able to keep an objective distance and observe how it was done. But now, that had all changed and he was intimately involved.
He wasn't at all sure he could do it. He didn't want to do it.
He knew Jim would be by his side throughout it all. The family he needed to help him through this. It would still be hard, would still hurt, would still be an ordeal. With Jim there, though, it would be easier. Jim wouldn't expect him to be strong. Jim wouldn't expect him to do it alone. In fact, Jim would insist on being with him.
This is why he needed Jim now. Blair slowly got to his feet, wiped away the last remnants of his tears, for now, and left the small chapel. He fumbled in his pocket, getting out his cell phone and made the one call he had to make.