Thinking of You
By: Emily Henson
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ducks.
Rating: PG
Summary: One-Shot, Portman thinks about Fulton. Slash.
I can't stop thinking of you. Thinking about the way your long, dark hair sexily into your face. Thinking about the way your smile not only lights up your eyes, but your whole face as well. You are always on my mind. Your face never fails to occupy my thoughts. I long for you, with every fiber of my being.
Whenever you enter a room, I am taken aback by the charisma that you always seem to carry, the aura that always seems to surround you.
You get along with everybody. It is easy to see why, you are such an amazing person. You never fail to make me laugh.
Even when you leave the room, a presence lingers. A feeling of fulfillment swells inside of me. The effect you have on me is absolutely mind-boggling. I have never felt this way about anyone else I my entire life.
It feels… unbelieveable. Like I have something to live for, something that gets me out of bed every morning. Loving you keeps me alive. Loving you is what keeps me going everyday.
Talking to you is the highlight of my day. Meeting you was the highlight of my life. Listening to you talk is a whole other thing entirely. You are so intelligent. You have so many dreams, so many aspirations. You could achieve all of them. I know you can. You are brilliant, and I believe in you.
That's why it is so weird seeing you lie here. I am waiting for you to jump up and yell, "Minnesota you've been punk'd!" That was your favorite T.V. show.
As much as I wish, I don't think that will happen. You never told me you were sick. Never once did your expression convey the pain you must've been going through. I know you must've fought against the cancer. You were never a quitter.
My days are empty without you. I am merely a shell of a person, an empty soul floating through the space-time continuum. It's hard. It's hard without you. Without you here to brighten my day. Without you here to make me laugh. You aren't here now, and I am incomplete. You are the glue, the nails, whatever stupid analogy you want to use, that holds me together. Now that you are gone, I am falling apart inside.
No one wants to believe it. Some people have yet to grasp the fact. I haven't grasped the fact, it slapped me across the face. Slapped me with a new way to try and live my life. A way that doesn't involve you.
I don't like this way very much. It is too lonely. You are the only one who truly understood me. The only one who saw past the exterior. The only one who knew the soul that exists behind the bandanna.
You should see all of the people here now. You touched so many lives during your own short one. Affected so many people in a positive way.
You look very beautiful. Although looking at you tears open the wounds still fresh upon my heart, I can't seem to look away. Even now your appearance captivates me.
I never wanted this to be the way that I said goodbye to you. I know that you must've fought hard against it. Fought to live for our sake. You always hated disappointing people.
You have nothing to worry about.
No one would ever be disappointed in you.
I never wanted this to be the way that I said goodbye to you. So I won't.
I love you Fulton Reed.
I will see you later, Bash Brother.