Chapter 11: Promise broken… heartache prevails.
Sasuke looked around at everyone. "Did you want good or bad news first?"
"Amuse me" Ino said sarcastically. "Good news first."
"Ok, my flight has been rescheduled. There are two dates I can take the flight." Everyone cheered; I smiled knowing that Sasuke would be around a bit longer made me happy. "The bad news is; if I take that flight, I'll have to miss orientation and possibly a few days of class."
"Is that all?" Shikamaru asked.
"No, the other flight, which I'll have to take…" He paused and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Is tomorrow night at 6:00pm"
"Tomorrow…" Whispers floated around the café. But I could hear my heart shatter and my smile fading.
"TOMORROW!" Ino, Shikamaru and Naruto chimed at the same time.
Hinata was too shocked to yell. She looked at me. I felt like I was about to commit suicide. Tears started to form.
"But tomorrow night is the competition!" Ino shrieked
"I know…" He looked at the floor, then back at me. "I'm sorry Saku…" I looked up at him my eyes began to water.
"Oh please don't say it…" I thought to myself without saying it aloud. My head was shaking slightly.
"I'm going to have to break my promise Sakura…" I couldn't take it; I got up. "Saku?" I turned and walked away from the crowd. "Saku?" Sasuke called my name several times as he followed me. I grabbed my purse and was almost out the door when he caught my wrist and swung me around to face him. "Saku…" He said once more.
"DON'T!" I cried. "My name is Haruno Sakura… not 'Saku'… only friends call me that. Good luck in your future Uchiha-san" Sasuke dropped my hand and everyone seemed to gasp. I have never in my entire life called Sasuke 'Uchiha-san'; we weren't strangers after all, but tonight I felt like he had ripped my heart out. He looked hurt by the way I had addressed him; his mouth was even open in shock. Of course I cared that I hurt him, but he had hurt me too. More than he'd ever know.
Sasuke wasn't going to come tomorrow night, and so I felt as if I owed him nothing and he owed me just the same, we are even now. So with that on my mind I turned and walked out the door. Everyone had followed us and saw everything that just happened.
"Sakura! SAKURA!" I could hear Ino and Hinata calling me. I just sped up. I cried and cried. My sobs echoed loudly through the empty streets since everyone was at the café. "SAKURA!" I could hear Ino behind me, Hinata right behind her. I didn't bother to speed up; they were going to corner me sooner or later, might as well be now. I whipped my tears away.
"What?" I snapped.
"I can't believe you did that!" Ino scolded.
"Did what? Walk away?" I turned and glared at her.
"Well yeah!" Ino said her blue eyes wide and watery.
"And you called Sasuke 'Uchiha-san'" Hinata added.
"So what! He's going to have to get used to it in his new life anyway." I turened around and continued walking. Hinata ran in front of me I had no choice but to stop.
"So this is what this is about… you don't want him to leave." Hinata sighed.
I stayed silent for a bit. "Of course not! But it can't be helped. Sasuke is leaving to fulfill his dream. I paid my respects, what more should I do?"
"No way…there more to this than that. Sakura you're--" Ino was in front of me too. I pushed my way through and kept walking towards the park. "Oh my God you are!" She kept nagging on and following me. Hinata followed too. "Sakura you gave to tell him that! He'll want to hear it!" Hinata cried.
"What difference does it make? He's still going to leave! Regardless of what I tell him."
"You could at least say goodbye to him! You owe him that much!" Hinata screamed desperately. I have never heard Hinata speak like this.
"I CAN'T!" I stopped and turned to face her, my tears had returned and they were now streaming down my face. "Don't you understand Hinata! I can't say goodbye to him! I can't… I'm happy for him yes, but I'm selfish! I wanted him to stay, to be here with me! Don't you see? I can't say goodbye to him even if I wanted too. These feelings… my feelings… I could never do something like that."
The both of them stared at me blankly. Their eyes were full of sorrow; and I knew they understood how I felt. "I guess this means you're not going to drop him off at the airport with us tomorrow?"
I shook my head, "no…" I looked down at the ground. "Sasuke is leaving to fulfill his dream… I've got to do the same… I have a contest to win."
Ino turned to go back to the café without a word. Hinata stood there for a bit then turned too, but she said "For what it's worth Sakura… even in his new life as you call it… Sasuke would never be able to forget you. I've never seen someone so much in love…" And she walked away.
--
I woke up the next morning feeling horrible. I felt so bad that I had said that to Sasuke. I even slapped myself several times before getting out of bed. I still couldn't bring myself to believe that last night actually happened and that Yusuke was leaving TONIGHT! I took a cold shower before going downstairs for breakfast. Even the shower didn't chase away the guilt neither did the triple-decker pancakes I had for breakfast. The guilt, uneasiness and pain continued to dwell inside of me as I got off the bus and walked down the street to the studio auditorium down town (we live in a small town on the edge of the city, the café is the closest thing to down town and that's about 45min bus ride away). I let them know that I was going to sing my second song for the contest and they wanted to hear me sing it first. So I did. All they said to me was that they thought I was great and good luck tonight. I felt bad, maybe they say that to everyone, or maybe they thought I was really, really bad and they didn't want to hurt my feelings.
Like I had done to Sasuke.
I felt so horrible. I decided that I would go and talk to him; I should go and talk to him after the way I acted last night. Maybe I was over reacting. I just couldn't hold in my emotions anymore. What would you do if the person you loved the most was leaving when you needed them the most! I let out a sigh as I got off the bus in front of the café. Hinata was right… I should at least tell him how I feel right?
--
"Sakura? What a surprise."
"Hi…" I said quietly, I felt weird just showing up on Sasuke's doorstep. I glanced over his shoulder at the mess of unpacked stuff. "You seem busy… I should come back later…" I turned around.
"Sakura…" He grabbed my shoulder, I was a bit stunned at first, but then I stopped and turned to look at him. "Don't go, please… come in, I think we need to talk…"
I just nodded and followed him inside his apartment. "Sasuke… I came to apologize for my behavior last night, it's just…"
"I know, don't worry about it."
I looked at his suitcases by the door. "I can't believe you're actually leaving…"
"Me neither…"
"I'm really going to miss you, you know…" I sat down on his couch. Suppressing the tears.
"I know… Don't you think I'd miss you too?" He sat next to me. I stayed silent, it hurt me to talk about it, and my eyes fell to gaze at the floor. Sasuke seemed to sense that I didn't really want to talk about this, so he changed the subject. "I like your hair cut" He said playing with my hair.
"Thanks…" I said looking up at him. He was smiling at me. "Sasuke I…" Out of nowhere Sasuke leaned in and kissed me. My eyes widened surprised. But I didn't want to fight him any longer. I didn't want to pretend I wasn't in love with him. I just leaned back and enjoyed the kiss, but just then he pulled away.
"I'm so sorry…" He said. I opened my eyes and looked at him, he moved to the other end of the couch. I didn't want it to end like this; I didn't want him to leave without him knowing I was in love with him. I wanted to say it, but I couldn't. So instead I leaned forward and kissed him. He must have been surprised, but he didn't push me away. He pulled me in closer and kissed me back. The next thing I knew, he had leaned over and I fell onto my back. We continued to kiss and things started to heat up. I didn't want him to stop, but I was scared of where this might go…
He was caressing my neck now, I closed my eyes, it felt right, and it felt so good. My hands were moving up and down his back. I could feel him breathing hard. He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. I peered into his eyes wondering what he was thinking; I wondered what he was hesitating about.
"Sasuke…" He smiled then kissed me again. His kiss was amazing. Sweet and tender. He applied more pressure to it, and I started to feel his tongue. It scared me at first, but I didn't want to stop. My lips parted and he slipped his tongue in my mouth. I figured this was it… that I should tell him now while I still had my breath. He pulled away and began to caress my neck again, his hands flowing up and down my side. "Sasuke… I… I…" He looked up at me. I smiled. "Sasuke… I love you." His eyes widened and then narrowed again and he smiled.
"I love you too, with all my heart." He leaned in and kissed me yet again. I smiled kissing him back. His tongue slipped into my mouth once more and he frenched me, I did the same. Things really started to heat up. His hand started to venture up my shirt. Then it hit me. What are we doing! I had a thing about sex before marriage. I pulled away from our kiss and pushed him off of me.
"I can't…"
"But you just said…."
"I know… I'm sorry, but I can't do this… not yet." I started to tremble.
"We might not have another chance…"
"I'm not ready Sasu…not yet."
"Ok…" a moment of awkward silence… "I need to take a walk."
I looked up, "Did you want me to go with you?"
"No, it's ok. Besides, you have plans don't you?" The sound of his voice was cold and it hit me like a brick wall. I could feel my heart shattering. I could feel his too… and with that he got up and left me there all alone.