Scarlett O'Hara, Rhett Butler and other characters contained in these posts were created by and are the intellectual property of Margareth Mitchell or Alexandra Ripley. They are used herein without permission, but in the spirit of admiration and respect. No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit whatsoever is made by the owner, creators, moderators, members or contributors of this site.
Copyright 2005 Mrsscarlettbutler

After Gone With the Wind

…So she was alone, there was no one left who cared for her. Melanie had died, once she had hoped for this to happen, so Ashley would be free to marry her. Now she regretted that wish and regretted that she had not realized how much she loved Melanie before it was to late. Ashley was free…and she couldn't care less. She didn't love him anymore, perhaps she never really did, perhaps Rhett had been right, her love for Ashley had been a child crying for the moon…

Oh, Rhett, his leaving her was the worse she had ever had to face, his leaving really scared her, like nothing ever had, What was she to do. She loved him so much, she might just have realized this, but anyway, now she wasn't a child crying for the moon. "How could he?" she thought. "I will make him pay for being so evil to me. He never really cared for me, if he had he would not hurt me this way and treat me like I'm some worthless woman." But how was she to pay him back "I will think of this tomorrow, I'm too tired now and it hurts too much to think of Rhett."

Scarlett was more tired then ever before in her life, she didn't know how to gather the energy to climb the staircase but somehow she made it to bed. That night her nightmare returned, she was lost in the fog alone and afraid, when she saw the back of Rhett "Rhett" she called, "Rhett, come back" in her dream Rhett turned and then she saw it, he was not alone, together with him was Bonnie. They looked at her like she was some stranger and started walking away from her. "Rhett and Bonnie come back, I love you" Scarlett screamed from the top of her lungs but Rhett just kept walking away from her. Scarlett tossed and mumbled in her sleep "Please, Rhett come back. I do love you and I will be so good if you just come back. Please, Rhett."

Unaware to Scarlett Rhett hadn't left the house yet, he lay awake in his bed and heard Scarlett's cry for help, but he couldn't help her this time. He had to go if he wasn't to lose that little piece that was left of him. But it was bittersweet. How he had wished for Scarlett to call for him and say she loved him for years and years. "Why, does she have to be such a big child" he thought, her yelling cut like knives in his heart. "She will ruin me if I stay, she will say the words today and the in a couple of months, when she has me, she will take them back." So he stayed in his room until daylight broke, then he quietly left without looking back, he didn't dare.

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When Scarlett woke the next morning it all came back and she felt hopelessness claiming her. She stayed in her bed and cried over her wasted life.

In the next couple of weeks Scarlett got more and more depressed, she didn't do much and stayed home, she just didn't care for the outside world. She felt so defeated, she had lost everything. The world had been cruel to her. How she hated Rhett, she wanted revenge, but deep down she knew she would do anything to get him back. If only…

One day Scarlett found herself in the office, before her was unwritten papers, slowly she sat in the chair. For a long time she looked at the papers in front of her. On their own images about her life filled her thoughts. For the longest time she was lost in the pictures, then she started writing. Oh, it was so heard when she came to starving at Tara, it had been the worst period in her life Scarlett thought. Every day had been a fight to survive and she had, had so many mouths to fed, so many people to be responsible for. "Nobody helped me, they didn't care about me. Ashley was to dreamy to ever being any real help to me or Tara" First the though startled Scarlett, she felt she betrayed

Ashley and she wanted to dismiss it. But Scarlett couldn't let go of the thought and when she let go of her guilt, she knew it was the truth, Ashley had never helped her in anyway. He, the perfect Southern Gentleman had let a lady done all the work. "Why, didn't I see Ashley clear, so many heartaches would have been avoided for me…and for Rhett" This made her cry for a long time.

When Scarlett dried her eyes, her thoughts turned to Melanie, no matter how weak Melanie head been through the Tara days, she had always supported Scarlett and tried to help her. "Why, didn't I see that. Why do I have to be so blind. Melanie was a true friend, a true sister" If she had been this blind, what else had escaped her in her life. As disturbing as the writing was as healing it was. Scarlett saw herself more clearly, she saw the spoiled child she always had been. Through the night Scarlett kept writing, she realized that the worst time in her life, had nothing to do with Tara, but with this house she now lived in. Here she had lost the only two children she ever had cared for and the man she loved. This was too hard so she stopped and went to bed.

That early morning sleep claimed her fast and gentle, she slept soundly for the first time in months. When she woke a decision had been made, She couldn't depend on Rhett ever returning to her, she was alone. She loved him, how she did. But she wouldn't fight for him right now, perhaps she would get her revenge one day… "How can I say I love him and in the same sentence talk of revenge" Scarlett thought. She would think about it tomorrow. She would bring her two living children back to Atlanta, if she could love them, she didn't know, but they had a right to see her try.

New energy came to Scarlett as soon as the decision had been made. The trip to Tara was dreadful, Scarlett had nothing left there as well, Tara had stopped being her home since she last had visited. "Where do I belong now" she asked herself but no answer came. The children greeted her in a distant way. Suellen looked at Scarlett in a strange way but Scarlett lacked the energy and interest to ask why. Little did Scarlett know how she had changed, her face and eyes were without any life, her sparkling energy was missing, she was not bossing anyone around and didn't bite anyones head of with her harsh tone.

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Back in Atlanta Scarlett began the hard work of winning her children's affections, she took them for walks around the town and tried hard to be patient with Ella's restless energy and her many questions and with Wade's scared attitude. It took Scarlett's every will not to bite of Ella's head for the first month and not to yell at Wade to stop being as his father. But slowly as the children started to open up to Scarlett and show who they were, Scarlett found she didn't mind them as much as she used to. One day when she did Ella's hair, she look at her little girl in the mirror and smiled at how pretty Ella looked. Choking Scarlett realized that Ella had lost her ape look and now was a pretty girl. Love and pride rushed through Scarlett when she gave her daughter a hug and told her how pretty she was. This was her daughter and not just some daughter Frank had left her with.

From now on Scarlett didn't have to pretend she like her children but truly did, Wade was a sensitive boy full of life when he felt safe around Scarlett. "Was I so horrible to my children before" Scarlett asked herself. Ashamely she had to admit she hadn't given them one thought of the day, before Rhett left. On the other hand Rhett had always taken an interest in them. He had paid attention to her children with other men, this confused Scarlett.

As always when Scarlett's toughts turned to Rhett she became withdrawn and a lost and hurt expression came to her face, Wade and Ella would disappear to other parts of the house leaving her alone, so lost was she, when it happened that she even didn't notice them do so. Scarlett tried hard not to think to much of Rhett but she did, day and night he hunted her, causing her rethinking her life. " I did only love him when he gave up on me, does that mean I truly love him or that I have just replaced him with Ashley" "No Scarlett cried, I do -I do love him"

Scarlett only left the house with the children and didn't socialize at all, she didn't even go the store or the mill, not caring if she made money or not. The Old Guard gossiped about her, she had changed very much,now she was only a shadow of her old self and they wondered why.

Scarlett felt trapped in the dark big house, to escape that feeling she decided to redecorated it to allowed more light in, to be more welcoming and more suitable to a family. "It is rather stupid and a waste of money that three people live in such a big house" and "It holds so many bad memories and none really good" Scarlett thought more then once . The house depressed her more and more and she felt more and more lonely.

Wade and Ella loved the changed house it was friendly and they were allowed to play and make noise in it. They loved how their mother had changed into a loving and caring person, but they also knew she wasn't happy, most rarely her smiles reached her eyes. She grow so sad and distant when they mentioned Rhett's name, that they stopped. Six months had come and gone since he left and he had not contacted her once.

Scarlett found it harder and harder to breath in the big house, she decided she needed to go away for a while with her children. She sent a telegram to Rhett's lawyer, the only way she could contact him;

Dear Rhett

The children and I will go to Ireland Stop

Uncle Henry will know my location Stop

Love Scarlett

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It did Scarlett good to prepare for the trip, new life came to her eyes. The bond to her children grew when she let them help packing and planning the trip. When Ella innocently asked if Ireland was close to Atlanta, Scarlett started laughing so hard that tears ran down cheeks and she couldn't stop again. Both Ella and Wade were taken aback, they hadn't heard their mother's laugh in close to a year. When Scarlett saw the confusion in their eyes she stopped laughing, hugged them and explained that Ireland was in Europe. It made them all three laugh, something they had never done together before. Scarlett could nearly pretend she didn't ache from missing Rhett.

A few days before they would leave Atlanta Scarlett made visits to Uncle Henry, the store and the mill. She couldn't delay it anymore. No, there was still no word from Rhett Uncle Henry said with in a unpleasant voice, "He blames me for Rhett's leaving" Scarlett sadly realized. Uncle Henry promised to look after her store and the mill. The store was running amazingly well considering Scarlett hadn't been there for months. Her trip wouldn't cause her to loose money, not that it meant much to Scarlett anymore. It would help her to survive without taking money from Rhett, she only used his money to pay for the house and servants.

She didn't look forward meeting Ashley again and secretly hoped he wouldn't be there, but off course he was. He looked very tired and thin and somehow older in Scarlett's eyes, "how did I ever think I was in love with him". "why are you looking so strangely at me Scarlett, is something wrong" Ashley asked

"No, I was just thinking of my leaving to Ireland" Scarlett apologized, her mention of Europe made Ashley talk about old days and his Grand Tour to Europe. "Doesn't he ever talk of anything but old days" Scarlett thought but was happy she needed not paying any attention to him. Suddenly Ashley stopped talking, closed the door to the office and looked intense at Scarlett, "How are you really Scarlett, Rhett never did deserve you my dear" Scarlett's eyes grow cold, she turned and open the door, "How funny this is" she thought "Not long ago it was me who wanted the door closed and him who was uncomfortable around me, now I can't wait to get out of this little office" "I will ask you not to speak of something you know nothing of" Scarlett said in a harsh voice, her temper being raised with the uncaring words spoken of Rhett. Ashley gave her a hurt look and apologized. "He looks like a hurt dog why does he always looks so weak" Scarlett furiously though. "I just came to tell you, I will not be in town for some time. Goodbye Ashley" Getting into her carriage she immediately regretted her harsh tone with Ashley but not her words. He had no right to judge Rhett or her.

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Finally came the day Ella and Wade had been waiting for, the departure day. Scarlett was just as excited as her children, but at the same sad, this trip would take her further away from Rhett and a future with him. A future he didn't seems to want "But at least he can't have it with another woman" Scarlett though with relief and malice. Prissy was the only maid Scarlett had taken along and she only had because she needed someone to help with the children and to get dressed.

The ship "The queen of England" was enormous in the eyes of Scarlett, Ella and Wade. Prissy didn't like the idea of being so far from home, so she was not the most pleasant company these days. The first days were used to become familiar with life at sea. On the third day Scarlett and the children dinned in the ship's dinning room. Scarlett was telling Wade and Ella that the O'Hara name came from Ireland, where their grandfather Gerald was born and raised. "Excuse me…did I heard the name O'Hara being mentioned" a man broke in "Why, yes my family name is O'Hara. My father was born in Irland" Scarlette answered without thinking. "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Colum O'Hara" the man said, he had red hair and like Gerald had been not very tall. "My God, he looks like a relative to father" Scarlett thought with disbelieve. "Nice to meet you Sir, I'm Scarlett O'Hara Butler and this is my children Wade and Ella" Scarlett said with an open breathtaking smile. Colum smiled back at all three of them "May I ask who you father is" he politely asked, "My father was Gerald O'Hara. He built a plantation called Tara in Georgia" "So you're Gerald's daughter Katie Scarlett, I'm so pleased to meet you. I'm Gerald's youngest brother" Colum smilingly said with a warm voice. Scarlett was taken aback, this was most unexpected but also a nice surprise. Without hesitation she invited Colum to sit with them. The conservation was nice and easy, almost as if they have known each other for years. It turned out that Colum was a priest and lived close by Scarlett's grandmother Katie Scarlett and many of his cousins, when he didn't travelled. He was just returning from his relatives in Savannah. Colum noticed Scarlett's wedding ring but was tactful enough not to ask about the whereabouts of her husband. Colum was very eager to know of Gerald's life at Tara and how they had managed the war, Scarlett was more then happy to tell but smoothly avoided telling of her marriage to Rhett and her life in Atlanta with him. She just told business was holding Rhett in Charleston. From the sad look in Scarlett's eyes Colum could tell she was holding a part of her life hidden from him but decided she needed more time before trusting him.

After a pleasant evening Scarlett and Colum agreed to meet for a walk around the ship the next day. This meeting resulted in daily talks and dinners shared, Scarlett trusted Colum right away and found him easy to talk to. She loved learning of her family in Ireland and was excited as a child receiving the best Christmas present ever, when Colum invited them to come with him and meet her family. Without second thoughts Scarlett accepted the invitation "Oh, Colum I can't wait to finally meet my grandmothe,r Pa told me so much about her. Do you think she will like me?. What is she like?. Oh, thank you Colum" Colum was amused with her non-stop talking, she didn't even stopped to hear his answers, so he just enjoyed her happiness. "It will be my pleasure to introduce you to your family in Ireland, dear Katie Scarlett"

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Soon the ship ported in Galway, it was difficult to tell whom of the fourth was most excited They would spent the day and night In Galway before going to Mulligar and then to Adamstown. Galway was a larger city full of life and English people, first Scarlett couldn't understand why Colum avoided all English including the people. When she asked why, Colum took the time to explain what England had done to Ireland "You see Scarlett, the Irish are not free to rule and grow the land they rightfully own, we have to obey the English landowners. But they will not take away the spirit of Ireland as long as I have breath in me" Colum stated. This brought tears to Scarlett's eyes but she never saw the link to the South with it's desires to hold slaves.

Despise her excited and careless state of mind Scarlett took the time to sent a telegram to Rhett's lawyer;

Dear Rhett,

We are now in Ireland Stop We are staying

in Adamstown with my family Stop

Will keep in touch stop

With all my love

Scarlett

Finishing the telegram Scarlett felt lost, quickly she shook the feeling off "Damn you Rhett, you don't want, me but I can't seem to stop wanting you. I won't let you ruin my stay here."

Later that day they went to the market in Galway. When Ella saw the coloured stockings, shirts and shawls Irish women dressed in she wanted to dress that way as well, soon Scarlett gave in she liked the costumes as well. Without knowing why she bought Irish costumes for both Ella and her. Colum raised a eyebrow but didn't say a word. Later that night after the children had gone to bed, Colum found Scarlett with tears in her eyes thinking of Rhett. Kindly he asked what made her that sad, looking him closely in the eyes as wondering if she could trust him Scarlett cried, "I've ruined everything Colum, I don't think he will ever come back" slowly Scarlett told him the story of her marriage to Rhett, it felt so good to finally get it of her chest and Colum was a priest and family, so why shouldn't she trust him "I have to" Scarlett thought. Colum listened without a word, never had he met someone as lost as Scarlett. She was like a child trying to manage in a grown up world with the lack of understanding other people. "Oh Colum, I truly didn't know he loved me, how was I suppose to know. How was I suppose to know Ashley was just a girl's fantasy. What will I do?" Scarlett ended her story. "You will have to be patient and wait for your husband to come to you Scarlett, he is hurting really bad, maybe more then you are. It has to be him who comes to you" "But when Colum" "That I cannot tell you dear but eventually he will come, a man who loves this much will have to come back" Colum retorted, hoping he was right.

The next day they left for Mullingar, the ride was quiet and eventless, Scarlett was fond of the beautiful landscape and the fact that the weather was unpredictable. One moment it rained the next the sun was bright and sometimes it was sunny when raining. From Mullingar they journeyed to Adamstown, Scarlett was getting nervous "Do you think they will like me Colum" "Of course why wouldn't they, after all you are Gerald's first daughter, there is no reason to be worried Scarlett. You and your children will be most welcome"

Scarlett needed not worry as Colum had promised. She, Wade and Ella were welcomed with open arms. She was a little shocked of the numbers of relatives she had but after all the first Katie Scarlett had borne eight sons. More she was shocked with the small houses they lived in, but soon accepted it as a part of the adventure she was on. Scarlett and the children were placed with Daniel and his daughter Kathleen and sons Jamie and Brian. Kathleen was a friendly young woman with whom Scarlett quickly bonded with, Daniel was a man of few words but when he spoke everyone paid attention to his wise words. Jamie and Brian were hard working as their father and were only home to eat and sleep, but they seemed friendly enough to Scarlett. No body mentioned the fact, that Scarlett had a maid with her though nobody knew how to treat Prissy, they had never had servants living in their house.

Soon Scarlett settled with the common life at Daniels, before she knew, she was participating in the chores Kathleen had running the household. Much to Scarlett's and every one around her surprise Scarlett enjoyed helping Kathleen, she had never before found joy in doing ladies' chores. But now Scarlett found some peace in being busy and it help her keeping her thoughts away from Rhett. There was still no word from him. Wade and Ella soon made friends with all the O'Hara children and was most often occupied elsewhere. That left Scarlett with time on her own when not talking to Kathleen, she started writing again, this time a dairy with her thoughts in, it help her cloudy thoughts to settle. Most often her writing turned back to Rhett and their marriage, she still didn't understand Rhett, "Why didn't he tell me he loved me years ago. How was a to know" One day realization hit her "What would I have done if I had known he loved me?" she was lost in thoughts until she saw the words she had just written;

"if I had known from the beginning that he loved me,

I would have pestered his life, I would have

made him paid for that fact, thinking I could

have had my every will with him"

"My God, was I that horrible back then" Scarlett doubted, but she couldn't lie anymore. "But later on would I then have been that evil, after Bonnie was born, would I still have laughed at him… No I wouldn't. I longed to be a part of his world just as Bonnie was. He always loved her more then me, if he ever did love me"

The days turned into one month and one morning Scarlett looked at her normally frocks and the Irish clocthes she had bought, wondering how it would feel being without a corset and waring the colourfull stockings, skirts and shawls. Ella already dressed as a native Irish girl and seemed to enjoyed it. Determineted to explore the new clotches Scarlett dressed in red and white striped stockings, a blue skirt and a beautiful green shawl, that made her eyes even greener. It was much better without the corset, Scarlett was able to breath easier and more fully, doing her chores didn't drain her as much as they did when wearing the corset, this was better then good. Despite Prissy's protests Scarlett didn't wear nothing but Irish costumes from that day on.

One month turned into two but still Scarlett felt no desire to go back to Atlanta. She had rented a small house ,very close to Kathleen's for her, Wade, Ella and Prissy to live in. She wouldn't take advantage of Daniel's hospitality any longer, his house were not made for four extra people. Scarlett loved her simple life in her own house, she felt at ease with the daily chores even the cooking, something she was not good at ,yet, but in progress learning. Prissy hated being turned into a house servant. Scarlett didn't need Prissy helping her in and out of dresses anymore and the children didn't need a nanny here, but Scarlett needed help running the household. Colum was a frequent and dear guest at Scarlett's, he was the only one she could speek free and openly with about her sorrows of losing Rhett and her longings to see him again.

The first time Scarlett met her grandmother she cried of happyness, Old Katie Scarlett was indeed old but a pleasure to be around. She spoke her mind freely and was caring. She sat in her chaire near the fireplace and slept frequently through the day, she was strong in her mind but her body was weakening. Scarlett was glad that she and the children had, had the chance to meet her, her grandmother asked many questions about Gerald and Scarlett found happiness in talking of her father.

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To cheer up Scarlett Colum invited her to the Drogheda fair, it was a big fair where the best horses would be sold. The children opted to stay at Maureen's playing with theie cousins therefore it was just Colum and Scarlett. They had decided to rent two rooms at a hotel near by the fair to have two hole days at the fair. At the fair they split up, Scarlett wanted to look at the horses and perhaps buy one. Looking at the horses and avoiding to be cheated or caught unawared in a deal Scarlett heard a familiar voice "It can't be him… it can't be Rhett here in Ireland". Without thinking her legs moved out of the horsetent and took her closer to the voice, there she saw this extremely well dressed man with his back to her. "Please turn around and let me see his face" Scarlett begged silently. As if hearing her request the man turned around leaving Scarlett breathless, it was Rhett, he really was standing there right in front of her. Without thinking Scarlett ran to him calling "Rhett" Rhett freezed awkwardly in front of her with chock all over his face, but just as quickly his face turned blank, so it was impossible for her to read it, as it always had been. "Scarlett" he said and took of his hat. "Hallo Rhett, how are you?" Scarlett didn't know what to say, it was as if the cat had stolen her tung "How silly I sound" she thought. "Hallo Scarlett, I must say you look fine in your colourful dress" Rhett mocked at her. Scarlett dropped her eyes looking down at her custumes with a confused look in her eye. She hadn't given her clotches one thought lately and hadn't expected to run into Rhett today. Slowly she raised her emerald green eyes and locked eyes with him "I love you Rhett" she honestly stated. First she detected hurt in his eyes but quickly they turned blank. "You seem to have made it a habit to love men who doesn't want you my pet" Rhett retorted sarcastically. Scarlett's face turned ghost white and with eyes full of tears, she looked at her husband through so many years of lies and sorrow, "why is he being so mean, I didn't ask anything of him, I just gave him my love for free" Scarlett's heart cried in pain. Rhett watched her closely and saw no games in her eyes "Forgive me Scarlett, I was just taken by surprise by you showing up here that's all. Ireland seems to agree with you. Are you having a nice time?" he asked in a more gentle voice. "Yes, both I and the children have been warmly welcomed and accepted by my rather large family. But what are you doing here Rhett?" "I have come to look for good racing horses and needed a little time away from my daily life." "It does help to see things more clearly being away from it all, I have come much closer to my children since we left Atlanta, because I now have the time to be with them" Scarlett said smiling. "God's nightgrown he looks at me as he hasn't seen me before" Scarlett thought while she waited for him to replay.

"Well, would you care for something to drink Mrs. Butler" Rhett offered her his arm, which was gladly accepted by Scarlett, "yes, and I am starving" "Now I know you Scarlett" Rhett laughed. They opted for tea, bread and cake. "I would kill for a cup of coffee" Scarlett regretfully said. "Where do you life Scarlett?" "I have rented a little house in Adamstown close to my cousin Kathleen and my grandmother. It's such a pretty house Rhett, and it's just big enough for Wade, Ella, Prissy and me" "Prissy is your only servant?" Rhett asked in a doubting voice "Yes we manage just fine, Rhett stop looking so chocked" For some time Rhett aksed questions of Scarlett's life in Ireland, she enjoyed telling him how Ella had turned into a little Irish girl and Wade into a caring boy full of life. They talked friendly without any harsh words but lots of smiles and laughing. Scarlett felt she had won a battle, when Rhett invited her to help him buy some horses. They had fun with demanding to look at the horses outside the dark tents before dealing with the brokers. More then once a so called young horse was revealed as a older one in the daylight. Rhett ended up bying two beautiful horses one stallon and one mare. "Are you starting your own family Rhett" Scarlett asked her eyes full of mischief, "Why not, she will make a good mother" Rhett bantered back.

"May I invite you to dinner since you are not going home today Scarlett" Scarlett's heart jumped and her sparkling eyes locked with Rhett's "It would be a great pleasure Mr. Butler but I have only Irish clothes with me" "Never mind, we will dinne in my suit at the hotel then" As soon as he said the words he looked uncomfortable, Scarlett caught up with it and smiled her acceptance without a word, so he wouldn't think she would take advantage of the situation.

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At the hotel Scarlett left a message to Colum in the reception and went to her room to change into fresh clothes. Half and hour later she knocked at Rhett's door. "My, you look beautiful Scarlett" Rhett was still amused and astonished by the fact that Scarlett was in Drogheda without a maid. "Thanks" Scarlett shyly said, it made her nervous to be this close to and alone with Rhett. Soon after their dinner arrived and they took their seat at the table. Rhett hadn't talked much about his whereabouts this afternoon, but now he talked of his mother in Charlestown and his desire to raise good racing horses. Scarlett couldn't remember when she the last time had felt this safe and relaxed, it was so good to be with Rhett without them fighting and being mean to each other. "This must be the first time we are civilized in each others company" Scarlett thought. "And Rhett seems to enjoy it as much as I do" But she didn't dare asking where he would be raising the horses, she feared that sort of question would break their newfound truce. Much later in the evening Rhett wanted to show Scarlett a painting he had bought, it was with a little darkhaired girl and her little pony. " It reminds me of Bonnie" Rhett quietly said "so it does" Scarlett replyed with a soft voice full of sorrow. Rhett turned his head and looked her deep in the eyes with understanding in his own. Gently he placed his arm around her shoulder and gave her a soft kiss on her lips, a kiss Scarlett deepened with hunger. Rhett didn't pull back but answered the kiss with his own hunger, mumbling loving words between the kisses "My love, my only one." Scarlett's reply was to further deepen the kisses and saying "I love you my darling". Scarlett turned lightheaded from all the kissing but didn't want it to end, it felt too good to stop, it even felt better then she remembered from before. How she had longed to be in his arms and to feel this alive from his kisses. Rhett looked her deep in her eyes before lifting her up in his arms, when he didn't see any refusal in Scarlett's eyes he headed for the bedroom. Pleased Scarlett started to kiss him again. Rhett seemed positive surprise when he discovered that Scarlett didn't wear a corset.

This time their lovemaking was passionate and in a hurry, their lust for each other demanded fast action. They clung to each other, as they would be lost if they ever did let go. Again and again Rhett called her his life and the love of his life, Scarlett replyed with as loving words. When they had caught their breaths, a loving and gentle lovemaking started, for the first time in her life Scarlett held nothing back but gave all she had and took as equal from Rhett. Who didn't seem to hold back either. Scarlett had never been this close to Rhett or any man before and enjoyed it, this she wanted for the rest of her life, now she knew he loved her and she loved him. Peacefully Scarlett drifted to sleep, assured her world would be whole when she would wake again.

Scarlett stretched her arm to Rhett's side of the bed, without opening her eyes expecting to find Rhett, but the bed was empty and cold. She open her eyes and searched the room "Where can he be?" when she was about to leave the bed to look for him in the living room, she saw the letter on his pillow "No Rhett, you won't do this to me again. You left me once after we made love, not again. Damn you". Slowly she open the letter;

I am sorry for my behavior last night,

I had no right to take you to my bed.

I cannot let you destroy me again

Scarlett, I fear it would be the end of me

If you did. Please do not try to find me.

And once again I'm sorry for all.

Rhett

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Scarlett wouldn't believe her eyes "What did I do to make you run again Rhett" "Damn you, you are afraid I will break your heart, but what about my heart. I will not fight for you this time Rhett, I have no more energy to do so and you don't want me" Despite this decision Scarlett spent the next couple of hours crying her eyes out. She felt like all life had left her body and her heart would never heal again. "I have used all my life fighting, fighting for being number one in everybody's hearts, fightning for having enough money, food and a shelter over my head. I fought so hard for Ashley's love and none of all the fightning left me with happiness. I have money and will never starve again but I don't have my husband and security. I will not fight for making people love me anymore, they will have to take me as I am. I can never be like people want me to be, but I can be like I want me to be. I still love Rhett now more then ever, but I will give leave him alone"

Scarlett didn't go to the market fair that day, she stayed in her room crying and thinking, should she stay here in Irland or go back home. The big cold house in Atlanta beloned to another Scarlett, she didn't long back to that lonely life, here she was surrounded with people who loved her for who she was. She would stay a while longer and Rhett knew where he could find her. Later that day Colum came looking for her, he was deeply worried when he saw her eyes swollen and red from crying and her defeated look. Her normally sparkling green eyes were numb and she had a hunted look in her face. Gently Colum got the story out of her, silently he cursed Rhett for being so heartless to Scarlett, couldn't he see how much she had change or was he just too scared to notice. "It will be allright dear Scarlett, he hasn't left you for good, you are still married. He will come back" He helped her packing her few things. The trip home was a contrast to when the went to Droghea, Scarlett was quiet and in her own thoughts, she didn't say anything at all without being asked. Colum feared Scarlett would never recover from this loss life had given her. Back home Scarlett tried to act normal in front of the children but Wade noticed the change in his mother right away and not knowing what to do, he just never left her side for the rest of the day. Ella gave Scarlett flowers and made tea to make Scarlett happy, Scarlett appreciated the children's efforts but didn't know how to hide her pain. But she didn't withdraw from them as she would have a year ago.

Slowly, life settle back to normal again, as normal as it could be to Scarlett with her never stopping longing for Rhett. The hunting expression left her face and more life came to her eyes. She spent much time with Wade and Ella and with Kathleen and Colum. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't feel bored but on the other hand her days were busy with home, family and friends. But she had never expected she would be happy without making money. Two months after the market in Droghea Scarlett lost some of her energy, she slept more but still felt tired after a nap during the day. Her appetite was acting strange, either she didn't have any or she carved food in large quantums. Scarlett didn't pay much attention to her health situation, she just adjusted to it. But when morning sickening started she couldn't avoid paying attention anymore. She had a suspicion but asked Colum to take her to a doctor, Colum gladly agreed, he was worried about Scarlett.

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The doctor confirmed Scarlett's suspicion. "A baby, a little pirate baby. You are most welcome my darling" Scarlett silently said to her baby, this was indeed happy news. Colum took one look at Scarlett's face and asked what the happy news was, "I am going to have a baby Colum, Rhett's baby. Oh, I hope it will be a girl" Colum hugged her "What will you do now, go back to Atlanta. You need to tell Rhett" "Of course I do, I will send a telegram right away, Rhett loves children" It was harder then expected to write the telegram, this was news she wanted to say to his face to see it lit up with happiness and love. But it was not possible and she didn't want to chock him too much;

Dearst Rhett,

We need to talk Stop

I have the happiest news

I am carrying our baby Stop

We are coming home Stop

Love

Scarlett

"That will do, I just don't hope it will give him a heartstop" Scarlett said to herself. Suddenly she couldn't wait to be in Atlanta again, She booked the tickets home right away. "Damn that ship, why is it not leaving before two weeks from now". Her mood switched from pure happiness and optimistism "I love this child and so will Rhett when he learns about it" to fear and the feel of being in a rush. "What if it's already to late and Rhett won't come back. Why didn't I go home after he left, then I would be in Atlanta now." "Colum please hurry the horse I need to pack" "Scarlett you will have time enough to pack and say goodbyes, there is no need to break your neck in or mine by driving madly. You need to take care of yourself now". Scarlett controlled her temper and kept quiet but first after having stared angrily at Colum.

Back in her Irish home Scarlett couldn't find peace, she wanted to tell the whole world of her pregnancy, but only Colum knew that Rhett been to Ireland, she decided it would take to much explaning to tell anyone. Instead she told Kathleen she had received word from her husband and would be returning home in two weeks. Kathleen was happy for Scarlett, she had wondered if Scarlett's marriage was falling apart and had felt sorry for her. At dinner Scarlett told Wade and Ella they would return to Atlanta very soon, Ella started to cry, she loved being in Ireland, she had so many friends here and never felt lonely "Why can't we stay mother" she asked again and again. Wade put on a barve face but Scarlett could see he felt terrible of leaving his many cousins. "I know it's because of me my children have no friends in Atlanta, I never realized that they would pay for my bad reputation. I will do what I can to act nicely to the Old Guard and win back my reputation for their sake" Scarlett swore with pain in her heart. "I just hope I can control my temper"

It turned out just fine with the two weeks preparations time, Ella and Wade had outgrown all their ordinary clothes, a fact Scarlett hadn't noticed because they always were in their Irish dresses. She needed to find a tailor who could make wardrobes with short notice. Scarlett still fitted her frocks but she refused to ever wear a corset again, she loved her freedom to much, the freedom to breath and move and to dress by herself. It was very hard saying goodbye to her family. She loved them all deeply especially Kathleen, Colum and old Katie Scarlett. She gave all her belongings she wouldn't take with her to Kathleen and bought gifts for Colum and her grandmother, she knew she would most likely never see her again. Scarlett promised to come back again.

Colum excorted them to Calway where they boarded "The Queen of England".

It was a quiet sail home, Scarlett explored the ship with the children every day to get fresh air, otherwise they stayed in the cabin playing cards and talked about Ireland and Atlanta. Wade looked forward seing Beau again, he was very fond of his cousin, Ella said she hoped to see Rhett again, looking at Scarlett to see if her statement would bring tears to her mothers eyes as it would have some time ago, but Scarlett just smiled at her daughter and said "So do I, darling so do I" Finally the day came when the ship arrived in Savannah and the last part of the journey back to Atlanta could start. Prissy was overwhelmed with happiness to finally being back in The South again, she kept telling them to hurry she wanted to go home. Scarlett refrained from arguing with Prissy, remembering Prissy's hidden stares at her now growing stomach, she hadn't asked questions but Scarlett saw condemnation in her eyes. "If you only knew you silly girl, then you wouldn't be on your high horses would you" Scarlett hotly thought, "I have never been this big so early before, if this continous I will be as big as a house soon" She had explained her mornining sickness as sea sickness to the children and they had accepted it.

Finally they stood before the house, from they outside it looked too vacant for Rhett to have returned yet, Scarlett's heart sank perhaps he wouldn't come. "Then how am I to explain the baby" Scarlett took a deep breath and entered the front door, she was greeted by a housemaid and the cook "Has my husband returned" Scarlett asked "No Mrs. Butler and there is no word from him either" Scarlett grew tired from the maids words "I need to see Henry tomorrow, I am too tired today. Now I will just rest for some time" She gather the children and together they climbed the staircase, Wade and Ella headed for their rooms and Scarlett for hers. It was odd to be in the house again and in her room, Scarlett had gotten used to her lovely little house in Ireland where she never felt lonely, just being in her bedroom here made her feel homesick for Adamstown again. After a few restless hours in her bed Prissy help her unpack and they went to unpack Wade and Ella's belongings. Wade and Ella looked as lost as Scarlett felt "You feel up to some card plying" she asked in hope to lift their spirit. Dinner was good and Scarlett relaxed in the fact she hadn't prepaired it. Afterwards she read a book to Wade and Ella until they all exhausted went to bed.

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Scarlett had spent a restless night, she hadn't adjusted to the house yet but anyway she was found in Henry's office early the next morning. She politely asked to Henry and about the mill and store. Everything was well, she had made a lot of money while she had been away, mostly from the store but Ashley seemed to make an effort with the mill and was being known for delivering quality woods. "Good, then it will be easier for me to honor my promise to Melly" Scarlett thought. She didn't know how to ask for word of Rhett "If I just ask then Henry will question who the father of my baby is and I will be the reason for gossip. But if I don't ask I will not be any wiser then when I came" Scarlett was deep in thoughts and didn't hear the question from Henry "Scarlett" "Scarlett" he said in a higher voice, she jumped and looked at him guilty "I asked when your husband will return. I assume that he joined you on your travel" he said with a quick glare at her stomach. Scarlett blushed from his direct question "Hmm, yes he did Henry. He is caught up in business in…Charleston. If you will excuse me I need to go home now" she needed to leave the office and Henry's questioning eyes.

Scarlett and the children fastly established a daily routine, Wade and Ella's education had been nelected for far to long, they were accepted by Beau's study group, mainly because of Ashley's request and because Scarlett agreed to pay a big part of the teacher's salary. But it was a small prize to have her children accepted by the Old Guard and this was the first step. Scarlett had the books from the store and mill delivered each day to go through, she took care of the household and she need a lot of rest with this baby. She was still amazed by the size of her swollen stomach and it kept growing, Doctor Meade assured her everything was alright and she needed not worry but she did. Scarlett took walks every day to take care of her and the baby, most often she went to the cemetery to the graves of Bonnie and Melanie. She wanted to visit the graves and knew that no one would blame her for going there, even being pregnant. She had long talks with Bonnie telling the girl how much she was missed and still loved "You will soon be a big sister Bonnie darling, I know you would have loved a baby brother or sister to play with. If I hadn't been so stupid, you would have had one years ago. I am sorry you missed it baby" she also talked of how much she missed Rhett and was worried for him since he hadn't reacted to her telegram, Rhett's lawyer had confirmed to have received the telegram, but he had not been in contact with Rhett since before he left for Ireland. It made Scarlett depressed that Rhett seemed to have forgotten all of her, but she knew she couldn't allow to sink to deep into depression she had a unborn child to think about.

Scarlett hadn't seen Ashley since before she left Atlanta and had no desire to but fate wanted it otherwise, a Sunday after church time Ashley returned Wade and Ella to pay Scarlett a visit. She had no choice but to invite him to coffee. Soon they were alone in the sitting room, Wade and Ella had taken Beau with them to play outside. They talked about the mill and Ashley informed her about Aunt Prissy and India and the Old guard, saying that they all cared for her now she was alone with two children and one on it's way.This was new to Scarlett, they had never cared for her before "So they think Rhett will never come bach that must be why" she thought. "If you need anything just let me know" Ashley continoud "I will be proud to help you in any way. It's not right to leave one's wife, especially not when she is in a family way. Perhaps you are better of this way Scarlett" "Thank you but we manage just fine" "Please go before you raise my temper talking ill of Rhett" of course Scarlett never said the last part but it was as if Ashley read her mind, shortly after he did go with words he would soon be back.

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The next day Ashley's visit made Scarlett think, perhaps she needed to prepaire for that Rhett never came back, if he didn't, would she then stay in this house, would it be better to go back to Ireland or move closer to Tara. She didn't think she would like to stay in this big house, then again would it be wise to move the children again. And she seemed to be on her way to be accepted by the good people of Atlanta, so she might make a good life here. Deeply in these thoughts she headed for the hall where she nearly bumped into a person standing there, frighten Scarlett jumped back and jumped again when she heard a voice saying "I am sorry Scarlett, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just looking at the changes you have made to the house." It was Rhett, he finally was here "God's nightgrown Rhett, you seem to have made it your quest to frighten me" Scarlett replyed with a big smile and sparkling green eyes. But Rhett didn't answer, he was starring at her swollen stomach with a confused expression in his face. Quickly Scarlett grabbed Rhett's hand and placed it on her stomach just as the baby moved, this was something she never had done when expecting Bonnie, but it felt good to let him be a part of the baby before it was born. Awe was in Rhett's face when he raised his eyes to Scarlett's "when will this baby be born" he asked with hope and confusion in his voice, Scarlett laughed softly "You know me better then to ask me that question. Or have you forgotten when it was you visited me in Ireland?" Relief was evident in Rhett's eyes, he hugged her hard and whipered "Thank you darling" in her ears. Scarlett hugged him back as she never would let him go and they shared loving kisses that turned into passionate ones. "So this was what Colum meant when he told me to hurry home" Rhett said when he released Scarlett, "have you been in Ireland again Rhett. But why?" Scarlett asked, "Because I like the Irish weather so much. Why do you think Scarlett?" Rhett looked at her with sparkles of mischief in his eyes "Say you love me and missed me" she demanded stepping closer to him "I love you sweetheart, more then I have ever loved anyone in my life" Rhett seriously replied , he never took his eyes of hers saying it, his eyes were burning with love. Scarlett threw herself in his open arms and repeated over and over "And I do love you with all of my heart" After a while Scarlett took Rhett by the hand "let's get you unpacked" she said leading him upstairs, she leaded him past his bedroom to hers "Welcome home" she smiled and embraced him, he looked at her and around the room "Please don't kick me out of this room again Scarlett, this time it's all or nothing. I am to old for games any more" "You are not that old Rhett and I will never want you out of our bedroom again. This time I will do better I promise." "And what about the honoured Mr. Wilkes" Rhett hated to aske but had to, "Is he not the desire of your heart anymore" "Don't be silly Rhett, I don't think he ever was, you were right all along. It was just a child's fantasy. I love you and have for a very long time I was just to blind to see it" "You have never seen the truth Scarlett, even when it was right in front of your face. But you have changed, you have grown up, it suits you I must say". Contented with her answers Rhett started to unpack his things and picked up a few things from his old room, telling her about her family in Ireland, every one was fine and send her their love. Scarlett told him of her and the children's lives here in Atlanta. When Rhett was finished he ordred Scarlett to bed "You have to take excellent care of you and the baby" he said "Only if you will join me" "There is nothing I rather will do at this moment my dear" Soon Scarlett's head was resting on Rhett's shoulder "Why do you think I am this big Rhett. I never was before" "I don't know love, but I will speak to Doctor Meade in the morning. I want to be assured that you are okay." "Thank you" she whispered as sleep claimed her. Rhett stayed awake for a while longer enjoying the feeling of Scarlett being so close to him and the fact he was to be a father again. Life couldn't be better now, he had the love of the person he loved most in the world and soon he would have a little one to spoil as well. With these happy thoughts and a big smile he drifted of to sleep.

Rhett woke from knockings at the door that just wouldn't stop, it must be Prissy, he thought as he reculantant left the bed dressing in his robe and opening the door ajar, it was Wade and Ella. Normally their mother would be waiting for them with tea when they returned from school, but today she was nowhere to be found. "Uncle Rhett" Ella screamed and hugged him tightly "Oh, it's really you. I have missed you so much" "And I have missed you and your brother badly" Rhet stated and gave Wade a hug as well but a shorter one, remembering that the boy was not so small anymore. Wade blushed but didn't seem to mind Rhett's hug "Welcome back Uncle Rhett. Please say you will stay" Wade said shyly. "That I will my son" Rhett smiled. "Where is mother, she didn't wait with tea as usual. Is something wrong Uncle Rhett" Ella nervously asked "No she is just resting as I told her to" Rhett answered her question. "I am awake Rhett, please let the children in" Scarlett said to Rhett's surprise. Wade and Ella warmly hugged their mother "If you go down and order the tea and cake, we will be down shortly to hear about yor day" Scarlett gently ordered the children, wanting a moment longer alone with Rhett before sharing him even with Wade and Ella. "Please, kiss me Rhett" Rhett saw no reason to deny her simple wish and kissed them to heaven.

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Both Rhett and Scarlett wanted to give their marriage a second try and both agreed that this time around no scerets were allowed, which meant they also had to talk about the past to avoid repeating it. It took it's toll on them sometimes, but it helped them to understand each other like they never had before. Scarlett admitted with tears running from her eyes, that she really had wanted the baby she miscarried. She had just said otherwise to hurt him as he had hurt her by going from their lovemaking to that Belle's bed. And she had wanted to call for him during her bedperiode but hadn't known how to. Rhett eyes were also wet when he confesed that he never suspected that the baby was Ashley's, and he also had wanted it from the beginning "I never went to Belle's bed that time Scarlett, in fact I haven't shared a bed with her or anyone but you, since before I forced you into my bed that night. It's true I went to her placed but I stayed in a room all alone and drank for the tree days, not daring to face to again. I was scared you would have taken advance of me for loving you" "Oh, Rhett I wouldn't have. I wanted to be with you and hurt really bad and it was worse when you took Bonnie and left. She was my favouite child, now I know why she was, it was because she was yours" "She was the only part of you I was allowed to love freely and who loved me back freely. I spoiled her as I had always wanted to spoil you, if you had just let me" Rhett explained, "We have wasted so many years from misunderstandings, this time we need to do better Mrs. Butler" Rhett stated in a light voice trying to lightend the mood "We will Mr. Butler, we will" Scarlett smiled.

Life was good when Rhett was caring and only teased her from loved. They decided to stay in the big house for a while, but Rhett wanted someplace where he could raise racing horses. He already had the two he had bought in Ireland. Scarlett grow bigger and bigger, she was always tired and couldn't do as much as she liked to, a fact that she didn't settle well with. She had never been one to lay in bed and waste time. Rhett tried to help her the best he could he, he even started reading to her, much to the surprise of both Scarlett enjoyed poetry and had no trouble understanding it. Often Wade and Ella played cards with her but more often they were occupied with friends. Wade and Ella were accepted in Atlanta, Scarlett didn't know if she and Rhett were and really didn't care, she wasn't able to leave the house anyway.

Scarlett had spent a restless evning in bed and when sleep came she was only allowed a few hours before the pains started, "It must be happing now" she thought with sleep in her eyes "Oh, I had forgotten how awful the pains are." Scarlett's moans woke Rhett, who quickly saw the picture of what was happing. He gave Scarlett a quick kiss, said he would be back and left to order Prissy to fetch Doctor Meade. Back in the room he paniced when he saw the pain Scarlett was in, "Tell me what to do Scarlett, is something wrong" he cried out trying to hug her but Scarlett pushed him away, "Stay away from me Rhett Butler. You did this to me" Scarlett was hurting so bad that she didn't mind her words, Rhett was shaken and turned white as a ghost "Why does she say this, didn't she want the baby, his baby?" Just as fast as the contractions stopped, Scarlett grabbed Rhett's hand wanting him near her "Sorry Rhett I didn't mean a word of it I swear, it just hurts so much" still doubting the truth of her words Rhett agreed to hold her and comforting her. Before the next contraction started Doctor Meade arrived and ordered Rhett out of the room with the words "You don't wanna be here" "But I do, I think she needs me, even she said otherwise a little while ago" Doctor Meade just laughed "That's why, you don't want to be here, you wouldn't like her yelling at you. You know they often do" Rhett felt relief that Scarlett's action was normal and that she didn't hate him. Prissy and Doctor Meade tended to Scarlett the next few hours. It was no a easy labour this time and Scarlett turned weaker and weaker. She had borne her other children unlady like fast, but this baby wasn't in a hurry. Rhett was pacing the floor outside the room, he couldn't find peace, he was so worried. Four hours later he heard the most joyous sound of a baby's first cry, Rhett wanted to storm the room but knew he had to wait until Doctor Meade fetch him. Ten minutes later he heard an angry baby cry again, wondering why his baby kept on crying Rhett was about to force his way into the room, when Doctor Meade came to the door telling him to be patient just a few more minutes. Rhett gladly accepted because Doctor Meade was smiling, otherwise he wouldn't have waited. Fifthteen minutes later Rhett was allowed into the room. The first thing he saw was a pale Scarlett in bed with two bundles in her arms, in two big steps Rhett was by her side, confusingly looking at the two babies looking at their mother. "Come meet your daughter and son Mr. Butler" Scarlett said in a weak but happy voice. "Two babies Scarlett" Rhett said with a thick voice, "At least now, we know why I was as big as a house. Would you like to hold your children Rhett" "Why, yes I do, my love and thank you" Rhett kissed Scarlett sofly on her mounth locking eyes with her, never had she seen so much joy and love in his eyes. Rhett refused to leave the room again he wanted to help Scarlett, so he held the babies tightly, when she couldn't stay awake any more. When the babies grew fussy from hunger Scarlett woke and demanded her babies, refusing to let in the wet nurse Rhett had hired, "I won't let a wet nurse have all the precious moments with my babies this time, I want to bond with them from the beginning and only use a wet nurse if I don't have milk enough" Scarlett didn't move one inch in this so Rhett handed her the babies, he was happy she felt this way about his babies. "Do you have names for them Scarlett" "What do you think of Gerald Rhett Butler" she replyed "That's a fine name" Rhett was touched that she wanted to give their son his name. "What do you think of Katie Melanie for our daughter Scarlett" "Oh Rhett, that a beautiful name, Melly would have loved it" Rhett kissed Scarlett and the babies softly before he lay down next to Scarlett, taking his son gently from her. Holding a baby each Scarlett and Rhett fell asleep.

The end