New Dork City
By Mices
She-Hulk glared at her cell phone – she hadn't received word back from anyone she had phoned. If this kept on, she'd have to be a woman on the town without an escort. And Jennifer Walters did not buy this dress to go out unescorted. She bought this dress so she could begin the evening being ogled, be ogled in the middle, and later be ogled in bed.
Another minute went by without a call. Jennifer had one last hope. She just hoped he'd pick up.
"I am the very model of a modern major general, how may I help you?"
He was home.
"Hey, it looks like it's your lucky night tonight, Drake."
"Who is this?"
"Jennifer Walters," she said smiling, preparing for his socks to be rocked.
"The Sensational-"
"Yes."
"-Spider-Woman!" Bobby shrieked. "I don't believe it! Hank told me it was over that one time at the Avengers mansion for that holiday party when I puked on your shoes, but now who's laughing!"
"Drake-"
"Yes, Jennifer, how can I help you this evening?"
"I'm not Spider-Woman."
"…well, yeah, obviously, what's her face took over."
"That's not what I mean—"
"If it helps, I think she's an inferior Spider-Woman."
"Bobby, I am not Spider-Woman! This is the Sensational She-Hulk!"
"No you're not."
"Yes I am! I am lawyer Jennifer Walters, who received a blood transfusion from my cousin, Bruce Banner, turned into the Savage She-Hulk before becoming the Sensational She-Hulk you see today!"
"Jessica Drew is the Sensational She-Hulk. Jennifer Walters is the first Spider-Woman." Bobby chuckled. "I think I know my super-heroes."
"Listen to me, Bobby Drake – I am nearly seven-foot and green. I am not the Spider-Woman – and Jessica Drew was the second Spider-Woman!"
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, just "oh"."
"You're disappointed?"
"Well…sorta. Was Jessica the blonde?"
"Yes!"
"Oh!"
"What?"
"Then I didn't puke on her shoes! Who's that one super-heroine with the brown hair?"
"…there's a lot of them."
"Yeah, but this one…she has the brown hair and is always talking."
"We have a lot of those, too."
"She…she has short hair…"
"Mr. Fantastic?"
"No! It's a girl…shrinks herself to the size of a wasp…"
"…do you mean the Wasp?"
"Yeah! That's whose shoes I puked on!"
"Bobby, are you allowed to ever come inside the Avengers mansion ever again?"
"Sure I am."
"Really."
"Well, I have to go with Hank, and there's some paperwork I need to fill out. And I need to leave a cleaning deposit. And I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything except for water and saltine crackers."
Jennifer let out a deep sigh. "Bobby, the reason I called was—" Just then, her phone beeped as she received a text message from Thor. Jennifer's eyes glazed over for a moment at the thought of her and the golden god's last encounter. A few seconds later, she got another text from Hercules. The possibilities of the evening just got interesting. "Bobby, I was just calling to see how you were."
"Oh. I'm great!"
"Good, I'm glad to hear. I'm going to hang up now—"
"Wait!"
"Yeah?"
"Is Jessica Drew there?"
"No, Bobby."
"Oh. Do you know her number?"
She-Hulk groaned, but was suddenly struck by brilliance. "Hold on for a second…"
"Alo?" a lively Irish female voice answered.
"Is this Molly Fitzgerald?"
"Aye."
The wheels in Bobby's head turned. "Are you the second Spider-Woman?"
"Nay. Who is this?"
Bobby knew the drill when it came to asking out other female super-heroes. "My name is – well, have you ever heard of the X-Men?"
"Aye. Oh, is this Logan?"
"Yes. Yes it is. Would you like to go get a drink?"
"Aye! Tell me, though, how did ye get me number?"
"Jennifer Walters."
"Oh, the first Spider-Woman."
Bobby rolled his eyes. "No, the Sensational She-Hulk."
She laughed gently. "I like ye, yer funny."
Bobby cleared his throat. "Uhm, Jennifer told me you were a super-hero, but not which one…can I ask?"
Jubilee grew nervous as Bobby sat motionless underneath a pile of pistachio shells. Jubilee didn't like pistachios, but liked the wind she got when hurling it's shells at Bobby.
"Yo, Frosty Flakes, I thought you had a big date tonight."
"So did I."
"I thought you were going out with Spider-Woman."
"So did I."
"What happened? And where's Warren?"
Warren grinned at the giggling girl on his arm. "So, Bobby tells me that you're the second Spider-Woman…"
"Eh, no, Logan, that'd be Jennifer Walters."
"Oh, right. So, who are you again?"
She-Hulk grinned between her two god escorts. She never got tired of setting people up with the Shamrock.