Inuyasha's Spamalot
Author's Note- Well this scene has the song 'Not Yet Dead' in the play. I decided not to put any of the songs in this fiction. It just makes it too confusing and hard to read. So I took someof the lyrics from the song and stuck it into the story. Hope you guys like it!
"Bring out your dead!" Miroku called, pushing a cart piled high with dead people on it. This is an awful job. He thought. Why'd I become a monk anyways? Oh yeah. Family profession. So here I am pushing a cart of dead people though the streets of some village with a plague. What if I get the disease? "Bring out your dead!" And worse than that I haven't seen even a slightly good looking girl here since that one that got thrown on my cart an hour ago!
"Here's one!" a man with bright red hair said, lifting up a collapsed body of a badger demon.
"Nine pence." Miroku requested, holding out his hand.
The red head frowned. "But this is a charity organization that's taking our dead away!" he insisted. "That means I don't have to pay!"
"It is a charity organization." Miroku agreed, "Charity meaning that you have to give a charitable donation to the organization to get us to take away your dead."
The man thought about this for a second and then nodded. "Okay." He handed the monk nine pence.
Then out of no where the body spoke "I'm not dead yet!" it wheezed.
Miroku was now confused. "What?"
The red head glared at the dead body. "Nothing." He replied.
"I'm not dead!" the body insisted.
"Yes you are Hochi. Now be quiet like a good little dead person."
"But he says he's not dead." Miroku said frowning.
"He won't be for long." The red head assured, "He's quite ill. He'll be dead in a minute."
"I'm getting better!" the corpse called Hochi put in.
"No you're not." The man said, "You'll be stone dead in a minute."
Miroku sighed. Collecting dead people shouldn't be this difficult. They're dead… most of the time. "Well I can't take him like this. It's against regulations."
"I don't want to go on the cart!" Hochi wailed, "Please Shippo! No!"
"Don't be such a baby."
"I feel fine!"
"Well I can't take him like this." Miroku repeated.
"Could you just do it this once?" the man named Shippo asked, "Like a favor? You could say you didn't notice he wasn't dead."
"Nope."
That's when Hochi stood up. "I am not dead yet." He said, "I can dance and I can sing." To show this he gave a few jumps, resembling a dance. "The Highland Fling's my favorite. I don't need to go to bed and there's no need to call the doctor, because I'm not yet dead."
Miroku glanced over at Shippo. He looked so upset about this guy still being alive. And this was a charity organization. Miroku had to do something. He was going to have to take this into his own hands. Grabbing his staff, Miroku smacked Hochi over the head. He collapsed.
"Well now he's dead" Shippo commented, "You whacked him on the head. That was pretty violent. Maybe you need to see someone about anger management. What's your name anyway?
"My name is Miroku." Miroku replied, "Occasionally I do some things that I should not. Like that."
"You know." Shippo said, "I want to be a knight. But I don't like to fight. I'm rather scared I may, just simply run away."
Now that was random. But a knight… That sounded good. Monks were kind of like the Buddha's knights, right? And there was that new king that he had heard of. King Inuyasha or something like that. "I want to be a knight too." Miroku decided, "I'll be right with you Shippo, through and through and through. So stick with me and I'll show you what to do."
"We'll become good chums." Shippo agreed, "You can teach me how to dance. You do know how to dance, right?"
"I do." The monk replied, "I'll teach you on our way to enlist."
"I'm Shippo."
"And I'm Miroku."
Hochi raised his head from the ground. So Miroku hadn't killed him after all. "I am coming too. My name will be Sir Hochi I'll be your musician because I'm not yet dead."
"That's nice." Miroku commented. He whacked him over the head again and he collapsed.
There was a moment of silence. "So will you take him now?" He motioned to Hachi.
"Sure." Miroku said nodding. They dragged the corpse onto the cart.