Saber Girls: Can't answer... can't answer ( xD )... there's one I can answer! See! - points - Update! And thank you, and I already made a statement about that weird grammar italicized crap. --;
soggybread: Thanks. And, hmm... it seems you have your own name for Leo Carr. xD
peach: Here's more.
CHAPTER THREE
The next week passed by in a sort of blur. The idea of my father - my father - having an...
No. It is an misunderstanding.
I doubt that.
It is more of a false source of hope. This 'convincing' of myself doesn't work too well, anyways, so I wonder why I am wasting my time.
I may as well just say it. State it. Admit it.
My father is having an affair.
On my mother.
With a thirty year-old blonde.
On my mother.
Princess Leia Organa-Skywalker Carr.
Princess Leia Organa-Skywalker.
I need to meditate.
Okay, so the meditation didn't work too well. I am too worked up. Luke is noticing. Everyone is noticing (especially the man I call father, who I am being irregularly hostile against. But not purposely. It's not my fault, he's the cheating ba - Never mind.), even though I insist nothing is wrong. They all know me too well. I am too quiet, and I believe that I am spending too much time on my X-wing to convince them that everything is fine and dandy.
On a lighter note, the X-wing is looking awesome. It may not look like much, but its got it where it counts. It works; I flew it yesterday. All my concerns were left on the ground at that time, but they met me there as I landed.
But Luke, earlier today, suggested that I name it. So that may take my mind off the more heavier issues in my life. But it's hard for me to think of good names, things like Blonde Beauty and Deceiver keep popping into my head.
And the damn X-wing doesn't even have any damn yellow on it anyway.
I have made a decision. I am going to go tell my mother.
She deserves to know.
I wonder how long this has been going on. Considering the reaches of my parents' passionless marriage, it hit me that this affair may have been going on for years and years. How did I not find out. How has my mother not found out yet? Maybe she has an idea, but she's in denial. I hate to do this to her... but its necessary.
She deserves to know.
I walk into my house, blindly and numbly making my way to my mother's office. I got there much too quickly, in my opinion, and my mother peered under her arched eyebrow at me.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asks me, quietly, her eyes swimming with sudden concern as I make no attempt to his my disrest.
Damn her Force-sense.
I sit down, hesitating, and avoiding her eyes; I look everywhere: the datapads on her desk, the little still-holo of Luke, her and I, and I start to fidget with a loose thread on my long sleeve.
"Mom, I - " I pause, unsure of how to put this. I decide to say it bluntly. "I think - I mean, I know, I saw - erm..." I take a steadying breathe, subconsciously calming myself with the Force. "Daddy's having an affair."
I brace myself as I watch my mother, and she frowns at me, slowly setting down her datapad.
"You know?" she asks, softly.
My mouth dropped open. Then and there.
"You do?" I ask, my voice getting unnaturally high.
I saw my mother sigh, her eyes casting down for a moment before peering at me.
"Honey, I know you already probably know this, but your father and I... we don't love each other."
Okay, I already know this, but to hear it out loud... before I knew it, I was on my feet.
"You know he's having an affair!" I yell. "And you don't care!"
"Now, listen here, let me explain - "
"No! If you don't love him, why did you marry him! If you know he's cheating on you, why don't you just divorce him?"
I already know the answer to that. My mother is a political figure, and divorce would cause unnecessary scandal. It is much easier to let them both do their own thing. Easier on me, too, I suppose that is a factor.
"I - " My mother stops, suddenly unsure. I know that something big is about to come out of her mouth. Her tone dropped as she uttered her next, unbelievable, disarming words. "Baby, I got pregnant with you." she whispers. "I had to marry your father - the galaxy doesn't take to unwed mothers too easily."
I am at a loss for words. I am the cause of this. My mother's and father's unhappiness with each other. I am the cause of, ultimately, my fathers affair and my my own unhappiness.
This is my fault.
I slowly start shaking my head.
"I may as well never have been born! You would have had a much better life - "
"Syrmé!" My mother suddenly was standing was well, and I saw her eyes flash brightly and dangerously. "How dare you! I love you, and I don't know how I could ever wish you weren't born! You know this!"
I do, but for the sake of argument I don't want to admit it.
"Oh, yeah, right," I mutter.
"Listen, Syrmé, your father and I discussed this before it even happened. I approved. We do not love each other - I stay out of their way as much as I can, and he in turn doesn't mention it around anyone. We act like it isn't there - for your sake."
I feel tears slowly sliding down my cheeks, and a sob scratches at my throat. My mom's formerly angry eyes instantly turn sympathetic, as she takes a step forward to lay her hand on my arm.
"Honey - " she starts, but I jerk my arm away.
"Leave me alone!" I yell. I know that getting angry is not a wise choice for me, but it is inevitable. I turn on my heel, storming out and heading for my room, passing my father, who seems surprised at all the yelling. I shoot an extremely nasty glare at him, then duck into my room.
I am human. I cry. I feel sad. But never - never - have I felt like this. I felt like I was betrayed; first by my father, but now that my mother is in on this, too... Who's next? Luke?
Come to think of it...
Damn him. Damn her. Damn them all.
I moodily stare at my feet, letting hot tears blink out of my eyes and slide through the air and onto the dirt covering my boot. A draft of cool, refreshing, humid air caresses the back of my head and neck.
And I turn, looking curiously at my open window.
My whole family is screwed up, anyways.
I am leaving.