Ok so here's Chapter Two. I just got back form P.E.I (Prince Edward Island, Canada, for those who don't know) had some rough games of soccer, battered, bruised (if anyone cares to know) but pumped to get this next chapter up.

Summary: One summer nights Sakura is wide awake and can't find a way to get to sleep. Reminiscing on memories of her late friend Nikka. Her idea on life slowly dims the more she thinks about her friend. Will Sakura be able to handle her friend's actions or follow her in her footsteps…

Disclaimer: Don't own CCS.

Next week was supposed to be her 17th birthday…

That little voice in the back of Sakura's head was still nagging at her, but what was making it worse, was that she couldn't tell what that nagging feeling was. It felt like something important, something desperate, and something that she was loosing and would never see.

Fed up with failed attempts to fall asleep, Sakura got out of bed and grabbed the Levis hip-huggers that were lying on the floor, grabbed the Adidas zip up sweater that was draped over the back of her chair, opened up her dresser and grabbed the first pair of sock that she could find.

Quietly she tiptoed down the hall and down the stairs to the kitchen. She grabbed an apple out of the fridge and started to make her way to the door when a car had pulled into the driveway.

'Shit… I thought Touya was back from his date already.'

Touya placed the key into the lock and unlocked the door and quietly shutting it behind him. He slipped of his shoes and opened the shoe closet where Sakura was hiding. Placed his shoes at the bottom of the rack and then closed the closet door. Mumbling something to himself, he slowly trudges up the stairs and into his room.

Sakura waited till she heard Touya's door close and a good five minutes had passed. She slipped out of the closet and opened the front door. The night air was cool and chilly despite the fact that earlier that day had been hot and humid. Slipped on her running sneakers and started off down the street.

Sakura took deep breathe of the cool summer air. It was refreshing and much welcome. Around the block she turned heading down another street. Sakura wasn't exactly sure of where she was heading but she knew she'd know when she'd get there.

There were so many emotions running threw Sakura's head. But mostly it's been of confusion and anger, and the same question of why repeated in her head. She just couldn't seem to rap her head around the whole situation, it just happened so fast…

'Why the hell did she have to go and do that! Who does she think she is… leaving me behind…' Sakura kicked a rock in front of her. 'I mean …

"Some friend." She choked. Hugging her arms as the cold night air blew. '…Making promises… coming up empty… What about that promise of a road trip to Tokyo next year?'

"Kinda hard to do that now, ain't it Nikka!" Sakura yield as loud as she could.

A couple of lights turned on in some houses and some dogs started barking. It took a moment for Sakura to realize that she had actually yelled that out loud. 'Oops,' she thought before sprinting as fast as she could down the street to Penguin Park.

The park was deserted with one of the street lamps burnt out leaving the swings in shadow. Slowly she made her way over to the swings, admiring the few stars that she could see from the park. Pushing herself with her toes contemplating about what was on her mind.

'Things are so different now…. I just don't get it…. Why? When… was it that things were supposed to end up like this? Things seemed to make more sense... back when you were around…' She thought, staring blankly at the stars. One of Nikka's favorite things was the stars, and the endless universe.

Suddenly, Sakura was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of a twig snapping. Spinning around, Sakura could see a tall figure heading towards her. Her stomach did a set of loop-di-loops. Slowly, she rose from her swing mentally preparing herself for a fight.

"Sakura?" Said a familiar voice.

"Syao-kun… that you?

"Yeah, Sakura, it's me. What are you doing out here?"

"Uh… well, I couldn't sleep and wanted some fresh air."

Syaoran sat down on the swing next to Sakura's and began to swing.

"How 'bout you?" Sakura asked sitting back down on the swing.

Syaoran kept swinging in silence for a while, not saying anything, just swinging.

"Syao-kun…?"

"Had a bunch on my mind… plus, I dun' no, something told me I should go for a walk.Was my intuition right?"

Sakura looked down at her feet, kicking the sand. Now it was her time for silence. Minutes of silenced passed between the pair, just silently swinging, thinking.

"So are you going to tell me what's up?"

"Yeah…" Sakura muttered. " Just where to begging?"

"How 'bout the beginning?" Syaoran joked.

"That'd be the place," An unenthusiastically laugh escaped her. Sighing deeply Sakura turned her face towards the sky and looked at the stars, sparkling in all their glory. "Why do you suppose things like this happens to us?"

"Things like what? The cards?"

"No, the cards actually seem simple and straight forward, funnily."

"Yeah, thats true, but what's the this?"

"Well… Why is nothing I ever do good enough?" Sakura said abruptly.

"Huh?" Syaoran was taken aback.

"I mean… nothing, absolutely nothing I do ever works out. I'm always just out of reach, or never good enough to get what I want. I'm told I'm good at a lot of things but when it comes down to it in a competition, well, you can just forget about it. There's always, always someone that's better then me. My art for example, it good, but never god enough to get anything out of it."

"Yeah… but-"

"And my singing, I'm told it's beautiful, but never good enough. I mean even basic schoolwork I can never get right. Suky-sensei, for biology, gave me an extra credit project so that I could get my mark up, right. Well I worked my but off for that and all I got to prove for it is a C. I'm sick and tired of not being good enough."

"Sakura you are good enough though. You don't always have to be number one you know. Nobody is ever perfect and nobody can be good at everything. Just practice at what you love and you'll be able to make it and be the best if you really want that."

"It's… Have you ever felt that you're loosing touch with reality? That everything around you is falling apart? That things you once knew, aren't what they were? And that you're only falling more and more behind?"

"All the time…"

"Sometimes it doesn't seem like things are real… like me and you. Don't you ever find that you're walking around in a daze? Sometimes, I can't figure out up from down, left from right. Sometimes I can feel my legs moving, walking forward, but almost as if I'm not controlling them. And with us…" She said, turning her head to face Syaoran. "What'll happen tomorrow? Will we get in a fight? Will you go back to Hong Kong? Nothing in my life seems to make sense any more… or last…" She said lowering her head.

"How can you deal with it? I mean it feels like I've been living in a perfect little world and now, all of a sudden, it's not. Like some of my friendships aren't so tight as they use to be, we might get separated again because you might have to go back to Hong Kong, " She said pointing off in a direction in which she believed was Hong Kong. "My brother's finally going off to university and I don't know how to deal with it, my dad's going to be working longer shifts since he got a new job. Like, what am I to do?" Sakura said standing up turning her back to Syaoran.

"Everything in my life is changing, and I'm getting rushed into things. It's just happening so fast. I'm getting so stressed over this too. It probably doesn't help that my marks are dropping too. I just can't take it anymore, I just can't! I hate it! I hate life and everything to do with it!" Sakura yield, shouting at the sky. "I can't take this fucking world anymore, I just want to get over and done with it. I just want to die!"

'Why couldn't Nikka have taken me with her.' Sakura thought, tears welling up in her eyes.

Syaoran turned Sakura around to look her in the eyes, a serious expression coming over his features.

"Do you? Do you really want to die? Do you really want to give up just like Nikka? What do you think that'll do? Solve your problems, Sakura? Nikka's gone, gone for good 'cause she gave up on this world, she found she had nothing to live for… do really think you have nothing to live for? That I'm not worth living for?"

"No…" She muttered, lowering her eyes. "… Just…"

"We're all going threw this together, Sakura. We're all here for you." Syaoran reassured her

"Yeah… I guess you're right." Sakura shook her head, blinking away the tears. " It's just… if I'm good enough… then … couldn't I have been… good enough for Nikka?" Sakura said tears spilling over the edge, the words catching in her throat. "Why… why couldn't I have been a good enough reason for her to live on? Was… was I really not good enough that I couldn't be that one little bit of happiness that… that would have stopped her…" She said now sobbing into Syaoran's chest.

Syaoran tilted her head and wiped away a tear that was sliding down Sakura's face.

"I just… I just don't understand… why…" She choked. "Why did she do it? I mean… things were going so well for her… She had a scholarship to the best University with her dancing… and now…. Why couldn't she just come to us!" She started to cry harder.

"Shhh, it's ok Sakura, I don't know why, maybe she just didn't have the will…. Maybe she didn't have the strength… maybe she saw nothing good in life, her fear, pain, and suffering drowned out what all that was good and pushed her over… nobody knows… It's ok, it's ok." Syaoran soothed, stroking Sakura's hair.

"I just… I miss her…"

"We all do…"

For what seemed like hours, Sakura cried in Syaoran's arms.

"You all right now?" Syaoran asked looking deep into Sakura's eyes.

"As good as I'll be able." Sakura said furiously wiping away tears.

Syaoran kissed her forehead. "Aishiteiru, Kura-chan"

"I love you too, Syao-kun."

I hope you guys enjoyed that, sorry the update took longer then expected. Just to let you know I was almost crying when I wrote this. Prolly 'cause I'm over tired, but if ANYONE! Anyone at all, if it's you or some one you know going through trouble and is close to committing suicide, I want you to know that you'd be leaving behind people who really and truly care about you. THERE ARE things that are worse living for out there. NO ONE should ever feel unloved or feel the need to end their life. Things will turn for the good; good can only come out of the bad.

¤Questions¤

PS.

I was at a coffee house the other day and this guy wentup and dedicated his preformence to his friend who had took her life away the night before. You could tell he was shacken up and more then likely the reason he evenwent up was because he knew she'd want him too. He was close to tears and guys "don't cry."