Hey all this is my very first FanFic ever, so please bear with me. I know where I want to take this story, I just don't know how long it'll take me to get there. I got the title from a song by Good Charlotte called Ghost of You and I liked the lyrincs, so it kinda inspired this fanfic. I may or may not use the title in later chapters don't know.

I do use two verses from two different songs later on in the story, one is The Reason by Hoobastank, and the other Volverte a Ver by Juanes

This stories going to have alternating POV's, so just so you all know, Italics represent Paul'sPOV and Bold represents Jesse's POV

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately do not own the fantastic characters of Suze, Paul, or Jesse. Maybe someday, they will be mine, but for now they are Meg Cabot's fabulous creations.

So, without further ado, this is my first FanFic. R&R (kindly, please! lol, j/k) Either way, any reviews will be helpful. Tell me if you hate it or like it.

Thanks,

Kim

When I'd first seen Jesse, he'd been a ghost. I'd come into my new room in my new house, in a new state, and found a ghost sitting casually at my new window seat. He'd sat there, totally oblivious to the fact that I could see him, and he probably wasn't expecting my reaction either, because by the looks of it, he'd been hanging around for quite a while. He looked like a genuine straight out of the movies cowboy. It made me wonder how old he really was-physically he couldn't have been older than 20, but spiritually, this was an open ended question. There was no way to know.

Turns out he'd been around for 130 some years, 150 something including his age, so yeah, he had every right to be shocked that after all that time, someone could see him. Normally, my first instinct is to get rid of ghosts as soon as possible, even more so if they're going to be sharing a room with me-not that that's ever happened before.

But I couldn't get rid of Jesse so quickly. So what if he annoyed me slightly when I first met him that day? His hotness totally made up for it. And he proved to be a useful ally time and time again-or else I'd surely be just as dead as he'd once been.

Now, two years later, defying anything that makes sense he's alive. It's crazy, it really is. I'd been so sure I'd lost him that night in the hospital, but then his soul had transferred right into his body that'd been brought through time, and POOF! Just like that, he was alive. Crazy, I'm tellin' ya, pure craziness.

Not only that, but he's very much still in love with me, as I am with him. I mean, how many girls would go back 130 years or so in time to rescue their boyfriend who isn't even alive? Like none, that's how many.

It's been eleven months since then, and we're nearing our first year anniversary and his revival, though all our friends just think it's our anniversary, nothing else. Oh, if only they knew. Father D. was totally helpful when Jesse showed up. Once we explained everything to him, the old man set out to get Jesse legal documentation. Even though Jesse was really 20-should be 21 now- four years older than me, we agreed, so my parents wouldn't freak that he'd have to regress in age, and therefore be 19, two years older than me. This seemed to satisfy everyone, so Father Dominic got Jesse de Silva-dropping the name Hector-his birth certificate, which stated he was born on March 24, 1985. That was his actual birth date minus a couple hundred years.

Apparently Father Dom had some big connections because in a matter of only two months, he'd gotten Jesse enrolled at the nearby community college, gotten him a job at the Carmel Historical Society, another job at a retail store, a car, and a place to live. Just like that.

Jesse was on his way o being a 21st century man still held back by his old-fashioned 1830 style.

So you can imagine, I'd be a little happy bunny if my boyfriend-the most gorgeous man ever, not to mention the best- and I were close to celebrating our first year anniversary after such a bumpy start. Sometimes it's all too surreal, like I'm going to wake up and find him setting at my window seat yet again, a spectral glow surrounding his handsome profile. But I haven't woken up yet, so maybe, just maybe this is real, and not some mean trick my consciousness is playing on me.

After having the shittiest year of my life, I was majorly relieved that my 17th year beat out my 16th. In my 16th year, I'd been forced to move from one side of the country to the other, gained three step-brothers and one step-dad, got stalked by a crazed shifter who loved me, and oh yeah, fell in love with a ghost. But all of these events led to the happiness that filled the year that followed. Had I still been in New York, I'd never have met Jesse, still probably wouldn't be kissed, and I wouldn't have the great friends that I have now. Gina had been the only good thing in pre-California existence. And my mom.

So yeah, my life's pretty much perfect, and I for once can say that I am truly happy, I Susannah Simon, happy and in love for the first time ever. Ever.

My eyes had been following her since she'd exited from her last hour class. I was at the parking lot, since my teacher had released our class a few minutes early, claiming he had a doctor's appointment or something. So, naturally I'd waited for the halls to fill with kids, only to spot Suze coming from her class, Spanish, which she'd started this year.

When she finally reached the parking lot, I called out to her, hoping she'd accept my offer for a ride home. Every moment spent with her is like a moment spent in heaven, and God knows I won't ever go there once I depart this meaningless half-life I've lived since coming back from 1830.

"Suze!" My head turned to the sound of that ever-so familiar voice. There he was, leaning against his shiny black BMW with his arms crossed over his chest, "You need a ride?" I took one look at the parked Land Rover and walked instead to the direction of the BMW.

Now, why would I be going willingly to ex-stalker's BMW? Because he's actually one of my good friends now. Yep, you saw that right. Blink all you want, it's true, and that statement probably won't change unless he goes back to his old ways, which seriously doubt. "Yeah, thanks Paul."

Once he'd seen me go in the directions of his car, he'd climbed in, waiting for me to join him at the passenger seat. As was my custom, as soon as his annoying hip-hop music blared through the speakers, I lowered the volume turning off the CD player and tuning to my favorite station, set to preset 6. "I don't know how you can stand that crap." Soon the car was filled with the sounds of the Offspring and their latest single.

She accepted my offer, thank goodness. As usual, she changed the radio as soon as it blasted on. I never let any other girls change my radio, I like to be in control of it, but Suze, no she's different. She's not just any other girl, she's Suze. The most beautiful thing to walk this earth.

I know I've told her a million times that our relationship is solely platonic; I say it more to convince myself. To make myself believe that I don't want her in some other way when all I want to do is kiss her.

But she's got Jesse, and she'll never consider me. So, for now, being her friend will have to do, even if it is eating me up on the insides.

"You'll learn to love it." I rolled my eyes. Yeah right. Paul gave me enough rides that he'd let me set his last station to my favorite, 95.7 KDBY (A/N: Totally made up), a rock station. He didn't really mind, he liked whatever.

"Yeah, and then pigs'll fly."

"You never know, Susie, it could happen." He flashed me his famous Slater smile, and I tried ignoring the Susie comment. He knew I didn't like it. Jerk.

People at school were convinced that we hated each other's guts yet, they also thought that we hook up regularly for nights of purely passionate unadulterated sex; something which Dopey made a point of asking every time Paul came to drop me off after dealing with the latest ghost and saw me getting out of his car. I guess that rumor started from people seeing Paul slam me against walls when I still hated him and kissing me fiercely at school.

The whole we still hate each other thing-well, we haven't improved that situation much. We've made a game of just throwing random arguments at school-plenty of screaming and hitting on my part, creating a whole dramatic ordeal.

Even Father D's convinced we can't get along. Every time ghost related issues come up, he calls us separately. It's quite amusing really. Cee Cee and Adam know the half truth-they know we get along, but are still dubious about it. Whatever, we like to have our little fun, though it is getting old-but the looks on our fellow classmate's faces: priceless, makes it worth it every time.

"Paul, what happened?" He looked up at me, confused, turning to look back at the road. "I mean, we couldn't be in the same room together last year, much less in the same car without me wanting to rip out your throat."

How do you tell the girl that you love that you've changed for her sake? That you'd give anything to be by her side? I've always hated those Goddamn awful love songs. I thought they were a load of bull, until the day Suze Simon walked into my life.

I've found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you.

And now I hate that song more than I can ever imagine, because it's true. I'd change everything about to me if Suze would accept me somehow else.

"I changed, that's all, Suze. I gave up trying to seduce once de Silva came back. There's no way I was going to get you after that." There was a pained look in his eyes, softening the regular intensity set in them. Maybe he really had loved me, not just been pursuing me so he could fulfill his lustrous desires. If it had been out of pure lust, then he surely wouldn't have bothered to become my friend, that's for sure. My lips rose into a sympathetic smile, followed by a nod of my head.

We'd reached my house by this point and he pulled over by the curb. "Thanks, Paul. You want to come in? Get a drink or something?" His eyes strayed from my face to the black Ford truck on our driveway: Jesse's truck, then back to me.

We reached her house, and Jesse's truck was there. It was a like a stab to the heart. Knowing that she loves him and doesn't love me. She loved him when he was a no one, and she loves him still, now that he's some one.

Despite our differences, Jesse has actually proven to be a good friend. We got over our issues of the previous year, and he's actually an okay guy. We're bordering the space between becoming just plain friends, and best friends. He really is a good guy. I'm also trying to learn from him, learn what it is about him that makes Suze go crazy. I need to know. She needs to be mine. And someday, she will.

"Sure, that'd be nice." Pulling the key out of the ignition, he climbed out, following me to the front door. From my spot on the lawn, I could see Jesse sitting at my window seat. Reading.

A smile spread to my lips as I looked up at the familiar sight, which despite how long it's been, isn't so familiar without that glow emanating from his body.

Unlocking the front door, I stepped in. "Mom, I'm home." I clambered through to the living room where I knew she'd be lying on the couch, reading probably. She peeked up from her book and smiled her gorgeous smile, which Jesse often points out I inherited. "I brought Paul over too, if you don't mind. Well, he brought me but I invited him, you know to offer him a drink and-"

"Susie, sweetie. It's okay." She smiled again chuckling. Was it just me, or was she radiating beautifully today? They say pregnancy can do that. In four months time, I'll be a big sister for the first time ever to a baby brother or sister. I'm hoping it'll be a girl, but I'll be happy either way. "Hello Paul." She said warmly.

Paul nodded curtly, "Mrs. Ackerman, how are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you. Now, you kids behave okay?" We started for the kitchen, when my mom called out, "Susie, I let Jesse up to your room, hoe you don't mind." As if I ever would.

Fully stocked with chips and sodas, we finally made it to my room. Jesse, finding a good spot to stop at in his book, looked up at me smiled then resumed. I stood frozen at my door frame. With the sun in the background, Jesse radiated. He was in his favorite spot, in his favorite sitting position at the window seat, reading. Just like he had for the last 130 years of his existence. Only, he didn't have that ghostly glow, which only made my smile broaden.

Jesse finally closed his book and stood up. "Hello, Slater." Then he lashed out at Paul and grabbed his neck, beginning to strangle him.

Kidding!

Would I really let within the same vicinity if I didn't know they could handle themselves? I'm not that stupid.

When Susannah came home, Paul was following behind her. She told she often brought him over, so they could just 'hang' as she puts it. I'd come over early today, so I could spend some time at the window seat in her bedroom. I've been alive for almost a year now, but I get these yarning to be in her room, as if I'm still connected to it somehow.

This room, despite what I want to believe, will always be a part of me. There's no escaping my past.

I had also come over to ask her on a date Saturday night, which had helped me set up. I had it all perfectly planned.

I'd already asked her mother and step-father for their permission to ask for her hand in marriage. This was about two weeks ago, and I'd been thinking of the best possible place. Finally, I asked Paul for advice, and he said he'd get me reservations to Caramé, the most expensive restaurant in Carmel. He'd obliged, and now I was going to make the date with Susannah. My hand swept my coat pocket, and I could feel the lump of the small velvet box. I hadn't let go of it since the day I'd bought it.

"Hey Rico," Paul said, using his old nickname for him. Only Jesse didn't flinch or react to it anymore. He'd grown used to it.

How could I have forgotten? Jesse told me he was going to ask Susannah out for their big date Tuesday afternoon, the day he doesn't have work or school. I don't think I could stand to be in the same room while he asks her out to the date that will officially make her his. Being the good friend that I was, I'd set up his reservations at the restaurant, and arranged for him to sing some song in Spanish to her before he'd pop the question. It was all my fault, dammit. All my fault that he was gong to propose to her in the most romantic way possible.

"Suze, I have to leave actually. I've got some things to do that I forgot about." I need to give them their time. I jus can't be here for this. It'll break me.

"Alright, I'll see you at school tomorrow, k?" She replied. I nodded and left. Leaving the two alone so they could do whatever they had to do.

Paul left as soon as recognition dawned on him. It must have slipped his mind, but he remembered that I'd be asking Mi Querida to our date in which I would ask for her hand in marriage. Hopefully she would say yes. I was a nervous wreck inside and I'd be devastated if she didn't accept. She just had too.

As soon as Slater was out of her room, she grinned seductively at me. Taking those careful steps to cross the distance in the she didn't let her eyes drop from mine at all. Next thing I knew was that she was pushing me down onto her bed.

Jesse looked shock once I'd knocked him down onto the bed. But there was a hunger in his eyes that told me this was more than okay with him. After all, it'd been like five since I'd last seen him, and I needed to kiss him. To feel his soft lips against mine, reassuring me that he really was here.

I climbed on top of him, straddling him. By this point, his hands had taken a hold of my waist and he lifted his head to meet my lips. I started kissing him, slowly at first, teasing him. But it wasn't too long before I gave in to my urges and deepened the kiss. His mouth was open just enough for me to squeeze my tongue into his mouth, and he welcomed it, massaging it gently with his own. Jesse rolled over and I was beneath him, beneath his toned body. My arms wrapped around his neck, rumpling his hair every now and then. His hands found hem of my shirt and he lifted it slightly, tracing circles around my belly button with his fingertips.

Susannah brings out a different side of me when I'm with her. I would never be like this with another girl, it just isn't right, regardless of how right my body tells me it is. I love the way her skin feels beneath my fingertips as run them up and down her torso, the way she reacts when I kiss her, the way her body shivers when I kiss her neck. My lips were trailing kisses all along her neck, while her hands roamed my back, pulling me closer to her

Mi querida, no sabes lo que siento por ti, lo que me haces ser. No sabes cuanto te quiero, mi vida, mi amor, mi Querida. Solamente ti.

Y si no fuera por ti yo no podría vivir

En el vacío de estos días de no saber

Y si no fuera por ti yo no sería feliz

You don't how much you mean to me, querida; I want you to be mine. To be mine and only mine.

We'd been kissing for a long time and we finally broke apart. The both of us were taking deep breaths, having become breathless in the middle of our kiss. Jesse looked terribly sexy, but then again, he always did. His eyes were gleaming, looking intently into mine. He'd finally sat up, and I suddenly felt light, not having his weight push me down against the bed. I sat up as well, and his arm wrapped around my waist. He was muttering things to me in Spanish that my limited Spanish did not yet understand. I'd signed up for Spanish this year, knowing that Jesse and I would be together for ever, and I needed to learn it for him. So one day I could understand those strange muttering.

"Susannah, I came here today to ask you if you'd delight me with your presence on a date Saturday night at Restaurant Caramé?" He was grinning as he asked me and he looked so damn cute.

"Jesse, I'd love to go on a date with you Saturday," I loved the way he always asked me out in suck formal ways. He couldn't come out and just say: Wanna go out Saturday? No, he made it sound like some big ordeal. It's cute. And sweet.

"Perfect." And his lips met mine yet again. "I'll be busy all week, Susannah. So I will not have a chance to visit you again for the remainder of the week. I'll pick you up at seven, ok?" He kissed me one last time and finally left, saying he had things to do.

Little did I know that would be the last time I'd be with him.

In an unknowing moment, my perfect life was destroyed.