Well, here's chapter four of Ghost of You.

Once again, I would like to thank my reviewers: apotterlover, Mrs. Nikki Slater, and shawna-xo (btw, shawna-xo, the story will be p/s, I just wanted to throw in Alex into the story because I couldn't think of anything else to write at the time. He's just there to cause some trouble between Paul and Suze)

Disclaimer: As usual, don't own Suze, Paul, Jesse or any other identifiable characters, Meg Cabot does, silly

Read and review, please!

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Ok, so I wasn't that surprised when I saw Alex helping out a ghost, but it was still kind of shocking. In my two years in California, I've met more mediators than I probably ever will once I leave. Had I discovered Alex talking to a ghost two years earlier, I'd be having a coronary, but now I'm used to the idea of there being other mediators out there. I'm not so alone in this I-see-dead-people thing.

Alex, though, he seemed paralyzed when I caught him, obviously he has never met another mediator before. Maybe we're scarcer towards the east. "Alex, are… are you mediating?" His face froze in shock.

"H- how… h-how di-did you… Can you see them too?" He finally managed to utter.

I nodded, "Yep, you're looking at another fellow mediator." Getting a better look at the ghost he was mediating, I knew immediately who she was. She'd come to me about three weeks ago, but stopped coming when she saw I was not going to do a thing to help her. She showed up again tonight, saying "Be at the beach… never mind," and then just disappeared. She probably thought I would not be here to help, so she left without giving me an explanation. So I came to the beach, hoping I would see her, and I did; only Alex was already helping her.

"I… I thought I was the only one." He answered sheepishly.

Nodding, I replied, "I had that feeling too, back in New York. But, since coming here, I've met three others, four including you, five including Jesse-but he's a long story."

"That's… just, I thought I was the only one." He said disbelievingly.

"Well, you're not. And I believe we have to help Rhoslyn here." He nodded dumbly, returning his attention to Rhoslyn, the ghost who came to the two of us for help, after I'd dejected her about five times, letting my desire to stay curled in bed distract me from doing what I needed to do. Rhoslyn is a nice girl, well was. She'd been a top honors student at RLS, very involved in school activities, and popular. Not mean popular, but popular because she was so nice to every one. Her death is a shame really; her only mistake was getting into the car of her drunken boyfriend, the night of the winter dance at her school. She didn't deserve her death, her boyfriend got by nearly unscathed, a few scratches, but nothing that could endanger his life. Now, about two weeks later, she is still hanging around in her afterlife.

"Rhoslyn, have you figured out what's holding you back," She nodded. The first time I saw her, she didn't know. I guess she figured it out between now and then. "Well, what is it?" Looking around the beach, I tried to figure out what it could be.

"When my friends and I were little, we decided to bury a tin box here at the beach," I knew exactly where this was going, and I did not like it one bit. Looking for a tin box buried in the sand? No way. "We were about nine at the time, and we all put in things that meant a lot to us. We agreed we'd get it back one day, the night of our graduation. We said, no matter what happened we'd all be here no matter what. If we grew apart, or one of us moved away, we agreed that we would unbury it together on that day some how. We're still all friends-they're still friends- and I just need you to remind them that it's okay if they go on and open it without me. I want it to get buried with my casket." Rhoslyn's eyes were gleaming, and I knew she was on the verge of crying.

"Shouldn't you have had your funeral already?"

She nodded, "Yeah, but they'll know what to do. Just tell them about the box."

"What's their name?" I'd completely forgotten Alex was here.

"Marie, Rachel, Lindz, and Andrea. Ask any RLS student, they'll know who they are." With one last pleading look she dematerialized. Feeling thoroughly relieved that I didn't have to search for a box calmed me somewhat. But how could I tell them about it, if they're probably the only ones who know about it?

"Any idea what we can do?" I asked Alex, hoping he'd have an answer.

"Nope." How do you tell four best friends that their dead best friend wants you to dig up some childhood thing of theirs?" See what I have to deal with?

"We go to Father Dom," I thought to myself, not realizing I'd said it aloud.

"Who?" He asked curiously.

"No one, I'll take care of it." School started up again in about three days, so I would ask him then.

"Let's go. It's chilly out here." Alex led me back to my house, refusing to let me walk home alone. Though I enjoyed his company, I wanted to walk alone to clear my mind of some things. We talked the whole way to my driveway, and he seemed disappointed when I told him we reached my house.

I didn't see Alex again for three days. Our meeting had been kind of awkward. He's a good guy and all, but there's something off about him. I know he likes me, and he's told me, so it makes it feel kind of weird. I've never really had a friend who liked me. I have experienced so many new things since moving to California.

My first week of winter, I'd spent all my time at the hospital, half-way through that week, I met Alex, who I made a point of introducing to Carmel, since he is now going to be living here. He would always be at the hospital when I arrived, and we would leave an hour or two later, when I gave enough of my time to Jesse. So I pretty much saw him everyday during the break. The second week came, and my other friends: Paul, Cee, and Adam took me shopping for my New Year's dress, as well as my make-over. New Year's came and went, and I enjoyed the party, where I finally introduced Alex to everyone else. If he's going to be a student at the Mission, he might as well get sucked into the parties and all right? The party was a blast, then two days later, I caught him with Rhoslyn, and now school's starting up again. And Jesse has yet to wake up from a now two month coma. In another two months, I'll be a big sister. In five months, I'll be done with high school. In eight months, I'll be living on my own with Gina back in New York. There's so little time. And it scares me to not know whether Jesse will be a part of that life or not.

"Suze, lookin' good." I turned to see Paul behind me, arms folded across his perfectly muscular chest.

"You're not lookin' to bad yourself, Slater." He smiled at, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, leading me down the hallway. I tried squirming away, but his grasp is inescapable.

Cee Cee and Adam ambled quickly towards me as soon as they laid eyes on me. I noticed something a little off…. They were holding hands! "Suze!" Cee Cee squealed, reluctantly letting go of Adam's hand. "We're together now," she couldn't help but squeal again.

I squealed too, after months of her crushing on him, they are finally together. "Cee, this is great! When did it happen? How? Where? Tell me everything!"

As she begun her long-winded explanation, the intercom went off: "Will Susannah Simon report to the principal's office."

"In trouble already, Simon?" Adam smiled sheepishly, and I remembered back to the first time I met him in the front office.

"I'd be afraid if I were you, Adam, I might break your outstanding detention record. I'll see you guys later, and Cee, you must tell all at lunch!" Trotting away, I reached the front office, not noticing Paul had been following me.

"Why are you following me?" I hissed at him.

I glared at Suze. Why does she suddenly have these mood swings when I'm around? Just minutes ago, she was kidding with me, now she doesn't want me in her presence?

"I figure this has to do with shifter stuff, so I'm just as welcome coming." And he pushed his way past me in to Father D's office where Alex waited.

We shuffled into the office, and there was a kid, probably a junior, slumped in the chair across from the principal's desk. Suze took her regular seat, me standing behind it with my hands on the back rest. Sighing, she leaned forward. I know I've seen that kid somewhere before, only I can't quite place it.

"Susannah, and Paul. How lovely to see the two of you today." He seemed a bit taken aback that Paul was here too. "I don't recall telling the secretary to call you up as well."

"I figured it might have to do with," he eyed Alex carefully, "With, you know, the stuff Suze and I do after school."

"Ah yes. But, no it doesn't Mr. Slater," I think I forgot to mention to them that Alex is in on the whole-I-can-see-and-speak-to-the-dead thing. "I actually called Susannah because we have a new student, and I believe she already knows him. Is this correct, Susannah?"

I nodded and smiled at Alex. "Yep, hey, Alex. Haven't seen you since-" I might as well say it now, they'll figure it out sooner or later. I noticed Alex's eyes bug a little, "The other night at the beach. Father D, Paul, Alex here is also a fellow mediator," Now his eyes bulged out and he looked away. Poor kid has probably spent his whole life trying to keep this hidden and then I share his secret to two complete strangers. "Alex, don't worry, they're mediators, too. I told you there were more, remember?"

Visibly, he relaxed somewhat, but sat paralyzed, processing the whole there are more mediators thing. "So, you weren't like kidding when you said that?"

"Why would I?"

He shrugged, "To mess with the new kid?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Ah, well Mr. Parsons, I'll be looking forward to discussing your abilities later. But, you're schedule has been arranged and you will be having all your classes with Susannah, and Paul, so they can lead you to your first class." Father D reached over the desk, handing Alex his schedule.

"Thanks," His voice sounded hesitant, and he took the schedule from Father Dom, stood up in his chair and waited for Paul and me.

"See you, Father D," and exited his cramped office, trailed by Paul and Alex.

"Paul, you remember Alex, right? From Kelly's New Year's party?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it, yeah I do." Sullenly, Alex trudged behind us. Maybe I shouldn't have told Father D and Paul about Alex quite yet.

We were about five minutes late when we filed into the classroom. I handed Ms. Lender, our homeroom teacher the slip the principal had given Alex. Handing it to Ms. Lender, I stalked off to my seat, calling behind me, "New kid." Moments later, Suze took her place in front of me. Ms. Lender went on to introduce 'Christian.' How you shorten that to Alex, is beyond me. He said he preferred being called 'Alex' when the teacher introduced him and went to find a seat.

Leaning forward in my seat, I whispered to Suze, "Are you okay?"

"What do you think? My boyfriend is still in the hospital, and I actually enjoyed my Christmas break without him. I'm a terrible person."

"No," how can she even think that? "No, you're not Suze. You're living your life. If you wait until he wakes up, you might just not experience anything." For a girl so pretty and smart, she sure makes herself seem dumber than she really is.

"Yes I am, Jesse needs me. And I'm not there for him." She turned back, letting me know that this conversation is over

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March fourth. March fourth was the day Jesse's heart monitor flat lined. At some point in time, all hope had been lost that he would ever actually recover from this coma. The doctors never did figure out what might have induced it, and now he's gone. I think, for a long time now, I have simply been waiting for the day in which he would die. I love Jesse; I know I always will, but the fact that I so easily let him get away from me… I don't think I can handle that.

My visits became less frequent, and I know that was simply because I'd lost hope. Maybe, just maybe had I gone to the hospital more, he would still be alive? But again, who am I kidding, my visits have no control over when his heart stops, so I shouldn't guilt myself into thinking it's my fault. It's nobody's fault. It could be mine however. Again, I feel that guilt. If he'd stayed in 1850, where he is meant to be, he would have lived a long a happy life once Paul and I rescued him.

He would've gotten to live a long life with his family, with everyone he loved. I know he assured me over and over that he was happy, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. I screwed it all up. The pain I have caused myself is all my fault-if I'd just let things be the way they are, I would not have to be dealing with this. I'd been blinded by my happiness to ever realize this.

I thought the power of love could conquer all, and that Jesse, because I loved him so much, he would get out of this just fine. I thought his eyes would open and he would hold me in his arms until the world ended. Love it's such a foolish concept. People get their lives ruined by it, and I am now another victim to its wrath.

I'd been holding Jesse's hand when the monitor died. I just arrived not a minute ago. As usual, I held his hand in mine immediately arriving, I began to tell him about my day, and everything I have done since the last time I came. I only uttered a few sentences, and then the unsteady jagged lines on the monitor went straight. Moments later, his doctor rushed in, followed by several nurses. My whole world became blank; I don't know what the doctors did. Everything came crashing down at once.

Just like that, I felt like I lost everything. I couldn't allow myself to cry; not yet. I was desperately hoping that this was some kind of cruel joke someone was playing on me.

"Time of death: 4:34 pm, March 4th," the doctor said to the nurse, and that's when I knew this was real. "I'm sorry for your loss, miss." The doctor said to me, leaving the room. Suddenly I remembered who else was in the room. Paul had brought both me and Alex here. Alex came to see his mother, and me to see Jesse. Paul was slumped in the corner in a chair, his eyes fixed on me, waiting for a reaction. I was too numb for anything. Next thing I knew, big strong arms were around me, holding me tightly. My eyes were closed, but they were erupting with tears at last.

The instant I saw Suze's eyes water, I shot up from the seat I'd been reading my magazine in. In three easy steps, I had reached her and pulled her in tightly to me. I don't think she really noticed, her body rigid, as she shed a thousand tears. Her face was in between my neck and shoulders, moistening my shirt with all her tears. The other guy, the one who follows her around like a puppy-Alex- had his hand on her shoulder. He probably didn't know what to do at all, not that I did, but he doesn't know the history between her and de Silva, why she loves him so much.

Everything that has gone on between the two of them makes it all the more difficult. That first night in the hospital, Jesse had been revived because his spirit still existed in this time, but not even that is left now. There's no way he'll come back now. He's gone… for good.

My hand caressed the back of Suze's head, stroking her soft hair. I muttered some things, trying to calm her down, but to no avail, she is too lost to hear me. "Suze, come on, I'm taking you home," I don't know if she heard me, but I started heading out the hospital room with Suze still entangled in my arms. Alex followed me, since he'd come with us-I don't why: his mother checked out a few weeks ago, he has no need to be here. There's something off about him, something I don't like, but Suze seems to like him, so maybe he can't be that bad…

Once we got to my car, Suze, still a blubbering mess went into the back seat, leaving the confines of my arm. I tossed my keys to Alex-not knowing why I actually wanted to let him drive, no one drives my car- because Suze probably needs someone in the backseat or she might drown in her tears. "You drive," and I pulled in next to Suze in the crowded back seat, taking her back into my arms. The car started and we left.

I don't know how, but one minute I was in the hospital, the next, I stood right outside my house, not that I could actually make it out clearly through my tears. Little by little, someone led me to my room and then I was on my bed. I could not bring myself to look at the window seat.

Immediately arriving, Mrs. Ackerman fled to us, hearing and seeing Suze as soon as we entered. "What happened?" She asked, but before either Alex or I could respond, she was leading Suze up the stairs, whispering to her that it would be alright. A few minutes later, she returned, her face panic-stricken. "What happened?" She repeated.

"Jesse," his name came out solemnly, "He passed away this afternoon." Mrs. Ackerman's face fell and her hands went up to her mouth in shock.

"Oh my…" she said barely above a whisper, and leaned back onto the sofa's armrest. "Is that why she's so upset?" As if it wasn't obvious enough.

I nodded, "Yes. His heart monitor stopped beeping, and that's when we knew." My eyes, I realized were watery, but I did not allow myself to cry. I don't know what hurts more: The fact that de Silva's dead or Suze's reaction. "We brought her home almost immediately, Mrs. Ackerman."

"Why yes, thank you Paul. Thank you, Alex," she nodded, still processing this information. "You boys can go home now, if you want. I'll take care of Susannah from here on out." We nodded and shuffled out the door. I hoped Suze would fine, up in her room.

At some point, amidst all the darkness I grew so accustomed too, I found myself back in Susannah's room, on her window seat. My eyes were so unaccustomed to the light, that I did not know where I was, until I finally took a good look. All around me, I saw the same familiar pink that is Susannah's room. More specifically, I noticed that I somehow returned to her window seat.

Last of all, I noticed the glow. The glow that I knew to well, one that had been apart of me for over 130 years. The ghostly aura. That's when I knew, the darkness I'd been stuck in, it'd been the point between I was alive and finally died. Only the second time it seemed more prolonged. And no longer was I wearing the white shirt and black pants that I'd worn for those first 130 years, I was in khaki pants and a black Calvin Klein shirt, a gift from Susannah, mi querida, and a pair of black dress shoes.

I leaned back against the wall behind the window seat, and gazed out at a sight so familiar, so familiar that it was almost mine. I lost myself in the familiar view, the familiar glow reverberating in my body. I stole a glance at Susannah's calendar; the month was set to February: then it dawned on me that I'd been in that darkness since early November, a few nights before I wanted to propose to Susannah. I wonder if she would have said yes. But I know the answer; deep down I know that she would indeed agree to marry me. And that, I am sure is the reason I am still being held back, something concerning the engagement that never happened and never will. I sighed and continued to look out at the ocean in the distance.

I don't know how long I looked out the window, but after what must have been forever, Susannah came into her room, sobbing, and led by her mother. Susannah did not once look up at me and she huddled up underneath her covers, crying and crying. She must know I'm dead, the thought rang through my head.

I stood from the window seat and stood at her bedside, before sitting next to her, and placing my hand on her arm.

"Querida."

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That's chapter four! Jesse has come back as a ghost, gasp! What will happen? So sad, Jesse is no longer alive, how suck-y is that? I've been wanting to write the next chapter for so long, I just hope I can make it as good as I've imagined in my head. It'll be just my luck if I can't get anything good, even though I've planned it for so long!

Chapter five will be up sometime by the end of the week!

And I've got another fic posted: Love and Marriage, please check it out, J/S