Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , major A.U, some OOC I think, mpreg (mentioned, implied, so on)

Reflections of the Past

Part 9

"I'm not sad, Heero. I was actually glad when I heard my father had died."

Heero's eyes widened with shock. In a million lifetimes he would have never expected that of Duo. "What?"

"You see what kind of person I am?" Duo continued, turning away from Heero. "Solo was right to hate me. My father's dead and I'm glad, Heero. Relieved!" He got up from bed and proceeded to pace the small space. It was a restless movement, and completely different from the almost passivity earlier. "I was afraid during our journey here, I dreaded the moment that I would meet him. I imagined all the things he would do to me, all the things he did to S…" He stumbled on that name, his eyes hardening for a space. "I wished deep in my heart that I didn't have to see him again, didn't have to feel the fear he evoked in me." Then he stopped directly in front of Heero, looking him directly in the eye. "I came back here, thinking someone may need help. Then Karisen told me that my father was dead. I was shocked at first, but then, something lifted off my chest. The fear, the pain, everything, it just disappeared." He stepped out of Heero's reach when his mate made to catch hold of his arm. "No, don't touch me, Heero," he said harshly.

Heero exhaled, exasperated, but kept his silence, letting his mate rant. He would have his say later, but right now, Duo needed to get all this nonsense out of his system.

"I couldn't move. I just stood there, my mind a complete blank. All I could think was, 'he's gone, he can't hurt me anymore.' Look at Zechs, I've never seen him shed so much of a tear for anything! Today, he cried, for my father. He did something that I could never do, he grieved for Treize, while I couldn't," Duo finished his tirade and stood there, his chest heaving.

Heero stood there for a moment, staring at Duo, who had his eyes fixed on him as well. They were still for a moment, before Heero pulled Duo gently into his arms, resting his mate's head against his shoulder. He could feel Duo shaking, from nerves or something else, he wasn't sure; but at the moment, he just wanted to hold Duo, give him the comfort he couldn't seem to let himself accept. Duo was stiff in his arms, but after a long moment, his mate melted against him. He drew Duo onto the bed, letting his mate rest against him. He stroked his mate's back idly, while Duo cuddled on his chest. He felt cold hands clutching spasmodically at his shirt and he reached up to cover his warm hands over Duo's almost frozen ones. As the caresses continued along Duo's back, his breathing slowed as he calmed. It had evened out to a point Heero thought Duo had finally slept.

"Say something," Duo's tone had a begging quality to it, asking something from Heero, asking to be understood.

Heero smiled, dropping a kiss onto Duo's still damp hair. "What do you want me to say? That I think you are silly? That you are still in shock? That you will grieve, but later?"

Duo scrambled off Heero, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Haven't you heard a word I've been saying?"

"What?" Heero sat up, confusion swirling in cobalt blue depths.

"You just don't get it, do you Heero? I keep telling you, I am not sad. I won't ever be," Duo stressed, putting at least three feet in between them. As if to prove a point, he stared directly Heero, his eyes dry and empty of sorrow.

Heero shook his head. "I know how you feel. My parents…" It still hurt him to speak of it, but he had to, to prove something to his stubborn mate. "Heart fire, I refused to feel when I first found out as well. It took me weeks to be able to grieve. Your mind is just protecting your heart from feeling, from hurting. You will feel it one day," he reasoned.

Duo kept shaking his head at every word his mate was saying, a slight sneer twisting his lips. He started to speak, but Heero cut him off with a raised hand.

"You understand that your father didn't hurt you, but the fear of him has been rammed into you so long and so hard it is difficult to think otherwise," Heero got up and approached his mate. He frowned when Duo backed up a step. "Stop shaking your head!"

"I thought you would understand," Duo accused, hurt. "Why are you making me feel that for him? Don't you remember what he did to me?" He winced, realising too late what he had let slip, even to himself.

Heero gaped at Duo, unable to believe his ears. "You are telling me that after all this time, you still don't blame Solo for nearly killing you? That all this time you have been lying to me when you forgave me!?" His voice thundered loudly.

Duo backed up even more. He hadn't seen Heero like this, since. . . . since. . . . since he found out Duo had lied to him the first time. When he had found out Duo was actually a Healer. Three years didn't nothing to dispel the fear of fifteen years, but as usual, in front of Heero, he used anger as a mask. "My father did whip him to an inch of his life."

One step forward. "To punish him for trying to kill you," Heero's tone escalated a pitch.

One step backward. "He pushed Solo to do what he did, it's not my brother's fault!" It was mine, he thought forlornly.

"So who's fault is it then? Yours?" Heero sneered. "Mine?"

 "You killed him! You killed my brother!" The words exploded out of Duo's mouth before he could stop it. Deep inside he knew it wasn't Heero's fault but where were these words coming from?

Heero gasped, flinching. In three years, Duo had never thrown those words at him before and it hurt. "He was trying to kill you!"

"And you murdered him!" Duo spat. Where are these words coming from? He thought, aghast. I don't believe this, I never believed this. What is wrong with me? "I hate you!"

The sharp sound of flesh connecting flesh filled the air. Heero stared in stricken horror at his stinging palm to Duo's reddened cheek. The Healer lifted his hand to cradle side of his face, his amethyst eyes filled with loathing, filled with fear. "You hit me!" He whispered in complete disbelief.

"Duo, I. . . ." Heero tried to apologise, contrite.

"Get out," Duo ordered, turning his back on his mate. "Just GET OUT!" He yelled.

Unable to atone for what he had done, and knowing his mate wasn't going to be able to listen to him, Heero left Duo alone with a heavy heart. He had never raised his hand to his mate before, or his son. He knew how strong he was and how easy it would be to accidentally injure either of them. He never hit them, so why did he start now? Why did what Duo had said affect him so badly? Duo had never looked at him with such loathing, such hate before.

Desperate to escape condemning violet eyes, Heero ran.

"Heero!" Quatre poked his golden head out of a dwelling, calling his chief's attention. He felt Heero's pain from within. Sometimes empathy could be more of a liability than an asset.

The chief skidded to a stop, trying to mask his emotions, but before Quatre saw the naked pain bleeding in his expression. "What is it?" Heero said evenly.

Quatre stared at his chief a while longer before saying, "Come in, we need to talk." He looked around. "Where's Duo?"

"Resting," Heero said with a dark look, warning his lead Healer not to press further. He followed Quatre through the entrance and saw a group of Shifters already gathered there, Zechs, Wufei, Trowa and Quatre along with a few others that he hadn't seen before. Heero guessed that they were probably from Treize's, no, now it was Zechs' tribe. He wondered how Wufei was taking all this. His dark haired friend had always been satisfied with his lot in life as a warrior, but from this point on, he had been elevated as well. He was now mate to the tribe chief, and like Duo, granted the protection from the entire tribe. Like Duo, Heero knew his friend would balk at all the coddling, being as much of an independent spirit as his mate.

Duo.  Thoughts of his mate brought a fresh surge of pain when he remembered the hurt in his mate's expression.

"What's wrong?" Heero asked, shifting from face to new face within the room.

They all nodded respectfully, recognising him as tribe chief and honouring him as such. An aged man sat in a corner, observing Heero with disturbing intensity. Heero found himself regarding the old man with extreme interest.

"So, you're the young thing that claimed our Duo?" He cackled.

"Our lead Healer, Gee," Zechs introduced.

Duo's teacher and master.

"I believe he claimed me," Heero corrected.

"We'll talk later." The old man smiled mysteriously.

"It has been brought to my attention that Treize's death was extremely suspicious." There was slight hitch in Zechs' voice, whereupon Wufei reached out to clasp his mate's hand. He cleared his throat. "As I was saying, Treize didn't die of natural causes, and I've had a look at the Healers who assisted him, they were drained of their energy. . .  as if something was sucking at it."

"Months before the incident we noticed that Treize has been odd," Gee supplied.

"Odd?" Zechs questioned. Apparently, this piece of information was new to the recently elevated tribe chief. "Explain."

Gee shrugged. "Out of character actions such as temper flares, being excessively cruel in certain situations. Things that Treize normally wouldn't do."

Heero lost his temper. "Just tell us what you think. You do have something in mind, am I right?  So just spill it."

"Impatient, aren't we?" Gee cackled before turning serious. "I think there is some sorcery involved. I suspected it earlier, but the rest of them thought I was a crazy old buzzard."

Quatre frowned. "Sorcery?" He didn't have any experience with that, he was more in tune with what the Humans called magic and miracles than sorcery. He understood know why the Healers had so much problems helping Duo's father. One couldn't Heal problems arising from sorcery. Only the sorcerer could. What did a sorcerer have against Treize Khusrenada, whom from what he had heard so far was the epitome of grace and goodwill?

Gee nodded. "I've had experience with it before and there was nothing a Healer can do about it. Believe me," he muttered darkly. "I've tried."

"Who…" Wufei started to ask, but Gee levelled him a glare that rivalled Heero's and he clamped his mouth shut.

"What are you suggesting we do?" Trowa asked.

Everyone looked expectantly at Gee, who shrugged. "Don't look at me, I don't have anything to supply. I'm just telling you what I think it is."

A strange sound of annoyance passed through the room at Gee's glib reply.

Heero stalked towards the door. "So there is no reason for this meeting at all? Excuse me," he disappeared through the entrance, fully intending to return to Duo and beg for his forgiveness. He should never had let his temper get the best of him. How could he make his mate fear him?

"Heero," Trowa's quiet voice came from behind him. "Something is wrong." He stopped Heero with a hand on his leader's shoulder. "Talk to me?" Seeing the pain in Heero's eye, Trowa led him towards a less populated area of the village and sat him down a large rock. "What's wrong? You aren't usually this on the edge during discussions of threats to the tribe."

The brown haired Shifter lowered his head into his hand. He moaned, as if in physical pain. "Trowa, what have I done?"

Trowa hunkered next to his leader. "Did you and Duo have a fight?" He guessed. Only Duo would be able to reduce the proud tribe chief to this condition.

"I hit him, Tro," Heero's voice was muffled in his hands. His depth of despair and distraction was evident when he used the nickname Duo had for his tall friend. As a rule, Heero Yuy never used nicknames and endearments were reserved for Duo exclusively. He didn't even use them for Odin. "I-I slapped him. . . . What have I done?" He groaned again, leaning into Trowa's comforting support.

Trowa did his best to mask his shock. The entire tribe knew how devoted Heero was to Duo and his infinite patience when his mate was involved. As far as Trowa realised, there was nothing that Duo did that could cause Heero to lose his temper, other than getting hurt completing his duties. Even then, it was Heero's tone that was harsh, while his movements, the gentle caresses as he helped his mate said otherwise.

"What happened?" Trowa asked, rubbing Heero's back, feeling his friend controlling his despair.

"We were arguing. He. . . ." Heero swallowed, "He still blames for killing his brother, Trowa," Heero looked at his friend, eyes glittering with suppressed tears. "He. . . . I just snapped. I didn't mean to. . . ." He kept shaking his head in denial, a pleading look in the cobalt blue eyes, trying to make Trowa believe he never meant to hurt Duo.

His friend's green eyes shimmered in understanding.

Heero took a shuddering breath. "His eyes, those expressive violet eyes, they looked at me. . . ." He bowed his head in pain. "I think he hates me now, Trowa. He was so afraid of me, so surprised. He told me to get out, he has never done something in that tone before."

"You need to speak to him," Trowa pulled Heero up. "Apologise, grovel, have wild make up sex, but you need to speak to him before this misunderstanding gets any worse."

Heero nodded, and turned in the direction of where Duo was at the moment. "Thank you Trowa," he said over his shoulder with a grateful smile. He strode resolutely towards the dwelling he'd exited earlier, determined to bar them both inside until Duo had either forgiven him or ended their relationship. He prayed to the Ancient that it was not so serious that the latter would occur. He hesitated as he neared the entrance. How could he make up to Duo? Would his mate listen?

"Duo," Heero called, his ears straining for signs of movement within the room, but he was disturbed to discover only silence, a deep, oppressive silence. "Duo, love, answer me."

Unable to stop the apprehension building up inside him, Heero ducked into the dwelling and gaped in shock.

It was empty.

Duo was gone.

tbc…

Eep, what happened to Duo? Boogeyman took him?? Aiks!!!

I just realised I haven't updated for more than a month!! Gomen gomen gomen gomen… I should be killed I know.

Once again, thank you SO much for all your reviews. They are what kept my muse full. Now she is fat and lazy… heh. Well, more to the Duo story… the part after next might be a little confusing, but please, stay with me and it will all clear up.

To all reviewers, arigatou and please read Only Love Matters (shameless self promotion). Duo is now a man, well, a he-elf. Don't you think Duo with pointy ears is just too kawaii??

I had someone commission a piccie for me, with Duo and Odin (as panther), a loving family. While the piccie itself was extremely well done and I would say if the panther was Heero, absolutely perfect… It came out a little hentai… *blushes* Thanks anyway Shadoeclone, your efforts are appreciated!! *huggles* Right now, it is my wallpaper though… I still blush every time I see it. And I see it a lot. So now, I am perpetually red!! O_o

Oh well, enough digressing. All reviewers, I know I don't thank you one by one but I read every single one and I honestly love to hear more of what you have to say to improve my story. And those with stray plot bunnies you want me to adopt please drop me a note. If I don't have new pets, OLM might be my last GW ficcie. *ducks*

Alrightie, thank you once more, and please, tell me what you think so far.