Hey kids , yall better be grateful because this is the fastest update I think I 've ever made , SO GIVE ME A REALLY NICE REVIEW.
I am using a Sarah McL. Song : Stupid , but I warn you that I did change like four words. Anyway. Read and review. LOVE LOVE
HANNAH ! call mee I missss you !
PS: this chapter is heavyily focus on Spike and how he copes a week after Faye's leaving . I really love how I wrote this and I feel it has a lot of emotion strength. '
REVIEW AND TELL ME YESS OR NO.
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The next week were a living hell for Spike. After the night his initial admittance to the hospital, he awoke in a stale and lonely room , without Faye at his side. The need to cut himself was unstoppable.
Each day with Faye was a vicious assault on Spike's fragile heart, each one harder and more relentless than the previous. It drove Spike mad to wake each day and not see Faye , her absence drove Spike to the very edges of his sanity. He fought sleep knowing he would wake to a empty room.
Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes
For the first few days Spike's anger held. He built his rage on the ignorance of trying to fool himself into not knowing why she fled. It was easier to be outraged. He could throw a tantrum until his lungs heaved for breath and his shredded arms burned with agony from their battle with the leather restraints
He screamed of when no could hear , cursed the nurses as they changed his bandages . But his words , his pleads fell on deaf ears. As much as Spike prided himself a lone wolf , it was a cold revelation to realize his feeling were reduced to a lunatic's prattle with the nurses.
Yet the harder he tried make them understand , the less they listened and the more drugs they pumped into to keep him compliant . When their affect wore off Spike was once again left alone with his need to cut.
His addiction had transformed him into a beast , with one driving need ; cut and cut until himself bleed himself in a abyss. Spike took Faye leaving as a sign.
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're so good for me
but the ghost is the only one I see
Spike had managed to drive away the one woman who might have ever truly cared for him. And it as all his own fault.
Day after day he hated himself for his coldness to her , for the way he had driven the lengths of Faye's love to the very end of a cliff where even the small breath of wind could blow her away. And at the final moment he had taunted Faye , asked her to stay with him, when all Spike had ever done for Faye was run away when she needed him most.
Spike had turned his back on Faye that day when the great well of despair had taken him. Now Faye walked away from him as he was about to surface.
Yet Spike could not blame her , not for his life. How could he ask Faye to stand by his side ? When he was like a sickness spreading to all things around him.
Each night , when Spike was alone he would dream of Faye. Her image always soft and fleeting but vivid. He could feel her touch dance on his wound healing him. Making him whole again. He could hear her voice whispering her devotion to him swearing to always be at his sides. In his mind they were always safe , their bodies curled together one , the world slipping by the wayside. He could see her smile again , bright and glowing like the sun after a hard rain. Then the dream was gone and Spike was abandoned in his harsh reality . He was once again alone , confined to a narrow bed , in a vast pale room with cameras in every corner constantly watching. The leather straps robbed Spike of all movement was he couldn't even bury his face in pillow to try and drown out his guilt.
love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you
The guilt that he was the one who had taken Faye's smile away from her. The guilt that he was the one who'd ruined the chance of their union. It was all his fault and their was no running from it.
The need to cut , The ache of his loneliness, The guilt of how he had broken Faye, The guilt that was slowly eating away at his battered soul his a hungry beast that savored every chew.
It truly was eating Spike alive. No the drug the nurses or doctors could give him , could take away this pain , the pain that only could be eased by one name.
Faye Valentine.
everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know
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OKAY. That was a pretty damn solid ending for this chapter , no unbearable cliffhangers, so I deserve nice reviews ! The lemon is coming up in the next chapter. The next chapter might be the end unless I come up with a good idea.
I AM TAKING SUGGESTIONS! SO WHEN YOU REVIEW ( please do!) GIVE ME AND IDEA AND THERE WILL BE A FEW MORE CHAOTERS TO THIS STORY OR EVEN A SEQUEL !
Any way…..
Next chapppie : Spike and Faye … together at last ?