Disclaimer: Not mine
Thanks to reviewers: Nix707, daisymh, Staz, Mxfan214 & starryeyes10.
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, spent a couple of weeks in the US, so I added a couple of chapters to the story…
Mac closed the final Imes file on her desk. She took the last sip of coffee from her mug and felt the threat of tiredness sneak upon her. She had already had four cups of coffee and looked abnormally good for someone who hadn't slept a wink the previous night. After tossing and turning in bed after she got home she finally realized that she wasn't getting any sleep, so she did what she did to distract herself: work. She had reviewed a full two cases in the past 10 hours, including showering and lots of coffee breaks. With that in mind, she had also put her work down several times as memories kept spinning around in her head. All of them seemed to be about an aviator-turned-lawyer named Harmon Rabb Jr. All the fond memories kept piling up, all the way back to when they met until yesterday. She had tried to deny some well-known feelings from the moment she walked out from his apartment to this very moment: a certain longing to be close to him, touch him and be with him. Than again, how could she not be drawn to him? He knew her better than anyone. She could talk to him for hours and hours about everything from the weather to her most hidden secrets. He would listen, comfort her, laugh with her, he was always there. He brought out the best in her; maybe sometimes even the worst. The perfect antidote however was always his best flyboy grin and those fantastic blue eyes of his. But the thing that fascinated her most was how he confided in her. He was probably the only person, apart from her uncle Matt that believed in her when no one else did, he never abandoned her when everyone else would. Sure, they drifted apart after Paraguay and Webb, which they were however working on, but she still felt like the world would tumble down if something ever happened to him. She loved her family here at JAG more than anything in the world and if something would have happened to one of them she would have been utterly crushed, but somehow she would have managed to get on with the help of the people around her. But what if something ever happened to Harm? Tears formed in the back of her eyes just by thinking of it. She was aggravated with jealousy just by watching him talk to Catherine Gale, what would happen when he got a girlfriend, got engaged and married someday? Could she stand losing him in a way like that as well, knowing that he was there for someone else and not for her? She felt like an ego thinking it as something struck her. Was this how he felt when she had been with Mic? No… He had his fair shot in Sydney on the ferry, and he turned her down. He stopped fighting for her after her engagement with Mic. But then again, she had had her fair shots as well. She kept telling herself to suppress whatever feelings that were coming back as she closed her eyes and sighted before she went to fetch some more coffee.
In another office Harm looked up from his files and yawned. He hadn't slept much that night either - he just lay in his bed with a lot of unanswered questions running through his mind, all of them about a certain colonel sitting in her office not too far away. Working was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. All he could do was think, or maybe that was all he wanted to do? Thousands of questions whirled through his mind: all of what could have been and the what ifs. Yeah, he definitely thought about the what ifs. What if he told her how he felt last night, told her about all the feelings that he kept pushing away? Would it have ended the way it did? What if he had been ready in Sydney and given in? Where would they be now? What if he kissed her goodnight yesterday? He could still feel her lips on his, the chill that went down his spine that night on the admiral's porch. He just couldn't get her out of his head! He sighted. This was exactly why he hadn't slept, and it had to stop. His chances of ever winning her heart was small to nothing, he had lost his chance many years ago, something he finally realized in Paraguay when he saw her with Webb. He already knew when she moved her engagement ring to Mic from her right to her left hand. He looked at an open file and than at his notes. They were blank. He needed something to keep him awake although it seemed impossible. Coffee… He needed coffee. Although it was decaf, it just felt like it helped. His mug was not empty, but he had a sudden urge to get a fresh cup…
As he entered he saw the back of the woman who caused his insomnia.
"Good morning" he said yawning.
"Good morning? I've never been this sleepy since God knows when!" she said over her shoulder.
"You too, huh? I got a good full 3 minutes of sleep… All together!" he watched her pour him a cup.
"Well, at least you got your 3 minutes!" she turned around taking a sip of her mug while giving Harm his. Mac felt a warm brush of his hand against hers as he reached out to take it from her. She lowered her mug, and they both looked up and stood there for moment, gazing into each others eyes. They both forgot all about suppressing their thoughts and feelings for a short moment.
"Thank you." he managed to get out before he looked away, taking a sip himself.
"You're welcome…" she said a bit off, blushing slightly as she looked away too before she got too lost in his eyes.
"So, care to share what kept you up?" he tried not to meet her eyes again, thinking something could slip out of him that he might regret later.
"Well, I just kept thinking about what we talked about," she took another sip "and you?"
"Ditto!" he smiled into her eyes again.
"Commander, Colonel?" They were interrupted by PO Coates entering the break room. If they were relieved or irritated, none of them really knew.
"PO Coates?" Mac nodded at her.
"What's up Jen?" Harm asked.
"The Admiral is looking for you" She said smiling. They both rushed towards his office. Harm knocked on their CO's door.
"Enter!" they heard a firm voice say. As they did so they saw Sturgis and Bud sitting in the two chairs in front of his desk.
"Sir?" Mac said standing at attention behind Bud. Harm did the same behind Sturgis.
"At ease! Thank you for joining us Colonel Mackenzie, Commander…" they both smiled and looked at him, wondering what he had in mind for the four of them next.
"I've got a new case for you; a certain PO Leer is accused of killing a civilian whom was trespassing military ground." Mackenzie, you will be prosecutor, Turner and Roberts, you will be defending the Petty Officer. You'll get all the required files with Coates."
"Ay ay, Sir" the three of them said. Harm was wondering what his role in all of this would be while he yawned.
"I'm also letting you know that – am I boring you Commander!" AJ said looking at the yawning man standing before him.
"No Sir! Just a little tired… Sir!" Harm said defensively as his face turned redder. His three co-workers had a hard time not to smile.
The Admiral raised an eyebrow behind his glasses.
"Right… As I said, I'm letting you know that I am going on personal leave to spend some time with my daughter. Acting JAG as of Monday will be you Commander Rabb! I'm sure JAG will be in good hands?"
"Yes Sir! I'll do my best!" Harm said surprised.
"That would be all! Rabb, a moment please!"
The three others snapped to attention before turning and leaving Chegwidden's office.
"Sir?" Harm said.
"Sit down Commander!"
Harm sat.
"As you might have noticed, Commander Turner and Lieutenant Roberts aren't what you would call 'best friends' at the moment…" he sighted.
"Well… I believe that won't decrease any of their skills to work together on this case as both of them are able to maintain at a professional level." Harm said confidently.
"I'm sure you're right, but just keep an eye on them…" AJ said.
"Yes Sir!" Harm said. "Permission to speak freely Sir?"
AJ took off his glasses. "Go ahead Harm…"
"May I ask why you're letting me be acting JAG?" he asked considering he just got back two months ago.
"Harm, you're one hell of a lawyer, you've worked under my command for years and I don't think you working for the CIA for a couple of months changes any of that, even though I can't say I liked it… At all!" AJ smiled.
"Thank you Sir." Harm smiled back. "So, is Meredith coming with you to Italy?"
"Well, she's got a lot of work to finish, so she's only staying a week. She seems excited about finally meeting my daughter though." He said still smiling when he thought about the two women he loved more than life.
"I think they'll get along just fine, Sir." Harm said as he stood up.
"I hope so! That will be all Commander." AJ put his glasses back on.
"Admiral?" Harm asked turning towards his CO again.
"Yes?" he looked at him questioning.
"When you get back, I'm planning a little surprise-gathering for Mac, her birthday is coming up, and it would be great if you could make it!" he said, wondering if it was an appropriate time to bring it up.
He smiled. "I'll be there, just let me know where and when!" He was glad that his best lawyers were getting along again, both professionally and personally.
"I'll get back to you on that!" Harm smiled before he closed the door.
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Harm and Mac spent much time together the following weeks. They helped each other with work, rented some movies or just stayed at home doing nothing else but enjoying each others company. When people asked about it, one being a certain matchmaker and close friend of theirs named Harriet Sims, they simply replied 'making up for lost time' or something similar. It isn't exactly the best thing when you're trying to suppress your feelings Mac thought, but she couldn't help herself. They were back to the old 'Mac'n Harm'. This night was not an exception.
Harm walked into his apartment followed by Mac.
"I guess there's no need to say 'make yourself at home'?" he said, smiling as she made her way to his couch, sat down and kicked her shoes of. They both went to his place after work.
"Nope! I'm good!" she said with a sleepy smile.
"What do you want?" he asked heading for his fridge.
"Orange juice! Oh! And one of those sandwiches you made me last time could be negotiable!" she said before she stretched out.
"Well… That could be arranged, but I have to go grocery shopping as you have been eating all of my food!" he teased eying the very sleepy marine lying on his couch. Besides, it was true. His fridge was practically empty.
"Hey! You had your fair share in my fridge too! Now go! I'm hungry!" she pouted.
He laughed. "I'm on my way! I don't want to be around a hungry jarhead now would I?"
He managed to close the door before he got hit by a pillow flying his way.
When Harm came back he called for Mac as he opened the door. When she didn't reply he glanced towards the place he had seen her last, his couch.
She was still there, sleeping peacefully. He smiled putting down the groceries. He took his uniform jacket of and hung it over one of the chairs standing by, soon followed by his tie. He unbuttoned his shirt at the top, tugged it out from his pants and folded his sleeves up before he started to put together some sandwiches.
He went soundlessly across the room and bent over the sleeping marine.
"Time to wake up sleepyhead" he said sweetly and brushed some strays of hair away from her face. He was so glad they were getting their friendship back on track.
She turned slightly towards him and a smile crept to her face as she opened her eyes slowly. "Hey…" she said with a low and sleepy voice.
"Hi there… Are you up for some food or do you prefer to nap a little longer?" he asked still stroking her cheek. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he removed his hand instantly.
She sighted when the warmth from his hand disappeared so abruptly.
"Well, that nap sounds quite inviting, but so does food!" she sat up. He went over to the kitchen and returned with a glass of orange juice and a sandwich which he gave her, before going back to get his own.
They ate while they discussed the case Mac was assigned.
"So, get anything out from PO Leer?" Harm asked taking a bite from his sandwich.
"Well, he says he did shoot the civilian, but claims that he had observed him spying for several weeks outside campus, and when he saw him trespassing he believed he did the right thing as he thought he saw a weapon in his hand." She had already finished half her sandwich.
"Did they find a weapon on him?" Harm asked.
"No, but what they did find though, was a camera. It appears that the man he shot was a journalist writing an article about training for the Marine Corp."
"So why didn't they look into it when the PO thought the guy was a spy?" Harm asked after taking a few bites from his own sandwich.
"You see, there's where the tricky part comes in. The Commanding General told me it seems like PO Leer has had a former paranoia incident." She answered.
"That's enough reason to kick him out, I mean, you can't have a Marine thinking civilians are terrorists or something running around on the ground shooting innocent people." He said a bit confused.
"That's what I thought, but apparently the former incident was so small they noted it in his files but decided to ignore it." She sighted.
"Looks like you got some work to do!" he chuckled.
"You bet! So, how are you holding up?" she asked, noticing that he looked a bit pale and tired.
"Okay I guess… Being acting JAG is not easy with all the cases flowing in, additional to Imes' cases!" he said as he watched her take the last sip of her orange juice. "SecNav is all over my six! I don't get how the Admiral have lasted this long!" he chuckled. "Want some more?" he said taking her empty plate and glass.
"Thanks, but I'm actually full…"
Harm looked surprised at her. 'Mac? Full?'
"… but ask me again in an hour or so!" she said added teasingly.
Harm laughed as he went over to put the dishes in the sink.
"So, anything else?" she asked softly as he returned. She had this feeling there were something more to it than just work.
"No…" he said in a distant voice not meeting her eyes.
"Harm, I know you. Something's bothering you… I'm not going to push, but you know you can talk to me." She said calmly.
"Well…" he hesitated. "I've been working on a personal case as well, and to be honest it's wearing me out." he said as he sat next to her again.
"I'm ear…" she said noticing the seriousness in his voice.
"Two months ago, I went to fix 'Sarah' and I met this young girl named Mattie. She's 14, lives alone and runs the hangar by herself. It turns out that her mother was killed in a car accident and her alcoholic father ran off drunk." He said looking at his folded hands.
"Is she okay?" Mac said a little worried.
"She's managing and doing one hell of a job but still, she has no family…" He said, now twirling his academy ring.
"So she's all alone?" she asked a bit surprised.
"Well… Not exactly alone… She's got me…" He said looking up.
"You?" Mac was now a little confused.
"Yeah, I promised her I would call every day, visit once a week and go to court to make me her guardian…" he said dead serious.
"Harm… I think it's a great idea and the right thing to do…"
Harm cut her off. "But?"
"… but you live in a small apartment with one bedroom and absolutely no room for a teenager…" Mac said. Harm's heart sunk.
"I know… That's what the judge said as well. Apparently I'm not good enough!" he sighted.
"Harm… You're overreacting! You're the most loving and caring person I know when it comes to this. They wouldn't find a better man for the job! It's not the thing that you're not good enough, because you are," she stroked his cheek and looked into his eyes. "It's only a matter of bad timing".
There was a short pause.
"There has been way too much bad timing in my life Mac," he said in a low voice. She knew he was talking about them: How one of them always wanting the other when it was either too late, too soon or a completely inconvenient time
"But what if I can't keep my promise to her?" he looked miserably at her.
"What else did the judge say?" she asked, not knowing what to answer him.
"That Mattie should try living with her father to work things out for 4 months. Apparently he's not drinking anymore and he's on a program." He said not knowing if he should be happy for Mattie since her father was trying to get his life back on track or feel sorry for himself.
"And what if they fail?" Mac asked quietly.
"Then they will review me as her legal guardian again, if I'm settled to their requirements, she can stay with me, if not, she has to go live with a foster family." He sighted.
Mac was still letting her fingers stoke his cheek. "Then you'll hope she can work things out with her father first and if not, you'll adjust to the requirements." She gave him a comforting smile.
He laid his hand on top of hers and kissed her palm gently. "Thanks, Mac…" It was 10 PM and he knew that's when she headed home. He followed her to the door still holding her hand.
"No Harm, thank you, for letting me back into your life." She squeezed his hand lightly before she smiled and headed towards her own apartment.