Unfathomable Sentiment

8:88:888:88:8

Taji bit back another scream as she pushed her face into her pillow. Her sobs escalated, made her whole body shake, filling the void in her chest when she realized that nobody was home. It made the secret that she held in her heart spring to life . . . cause a pain that threatened to devour her whole if she let it ruin her life. It was in her nightmares, it caused her not to be able to sleep at night if her senses, her scent didn't tell her that somebody, anybody was there with her.

The feeling of being alone.

She never knew when it started, but she just remembered feeling something in her chest when she went to sleep alone, and something deep, and dark would rise within her, threatening to consume her, made her scream until her mother had to bark to wake her up. It often led to days without eating, moving, and a couple of times, she even lost consciousness because of hear that noone would be there to help her when she needed them. She always felt as if she was being held in a chamber, and the memory of someone supposed to be coming to save her, but being told over and over again that noone was going to come.

She gavea scream again, digging her nails into the mattress, aggravated she couldn't rip anything to shreds. She looked up and out the window,and could see the smoke from when he made a fire. She had recieved a note from her parents, that was crumpled and tattered . . . meaning her brother's read it.

Sorry for such the short notice . . . but we had to run away on an important business trip. If you need anything, go on to grandmother's . . . no parties or any of that. We'll be back by Friday. I love you.

Love . . .

Mom and Dad

Taji grimaced. That meant another night that she would be by herself, another week that the fear that rose within her from such a young age would reign supreme. She shuddered as those feelings rose within her, taunting her, daring her to scream for help that wouldn't come. She closed her eyes. Dreamed of being alone, in a dark vortex where no one could find her. Everyone she ever loved, everyone she ever held any trust in, noone came to save her. She was left to rot and die, and pushing her knees into her chest, she thought maybe that would be the best thing to do.

She felt as if the feelings that she fought to hide from the world for years was growing stronger each year, and that it was there a long time, possibly before she even escaped her mother's wound. She always had a pressure at her a chest, a burden on her mind that she just couldn't simply ask for help for. It was something that she would have to take care of herself, and even though it seemed easy, in the end, she might die from absolute fear that she would have to do something on her own. Her brothers and her fathers were always there for her. Whether she needed to be or not. Now, she expected them to be there, and her strength was the look of comfort they used to always give her. But when Sora witnessed her transformation, the strength and support she had relied on for years had vanished as quietly as it had come, and she panicked from having no support.

Taji ran like she did because it was impossible to ignore the hint of betrayal in Sora's eyes, the complete anger in his ki. How would she be able to explain, that on these nights, she wouldn't be able to make sure nothing hurt him? How would she be able to explain to him that her grandfather wasn't human at all, and that in reality she was a cross between human and youkai? She would never be able to explain it to him, and though he pleaded for her to, it brought her to tears when fear rose to choke her.

She was afraid he would scream, be terrorized, frightened, anything and everything of being her friend. She was scared he would go back to that hellhole he called a home, all because he found out the truth of her heritage. It was obvious he was startled, it radiated off him in waves, but to see that he was losing trust in her, and that he was beginning to doubt their friendship, it made her want to crawl into a corner and vanish.

Sitting up, she looked out the window as the smoke from his fire rose into the sky, creating a dark mess that separated in the sky. She frowned. Picking up her cover, she draped it over her shoulders, and walked out of her room. Walking into her brother's room, she picked up a sleeping bag and proceeded to walk outside. It was a little chilly, and she couldn't run because she lost her demonic speed, and the sleeping bag was a little heavy,she had to walk agonizingly slowly.

When she finally reached the camp, she wasn't able to walk in immediately. She sat and watched as he poked at the fire that was dying out. The still burning twigs and leaves rustled and sparked slightly as he stared in it. It was evident that he was in thought, but what scared her more was the worry on his face. Walking into the clearing, he didn't turn his head right away to look at her. "S-Sora?"

He didn't answer. What he did do, was flinch. He turned his head away, and sighed. "Taji . . . I . . . what . . . "

She shook her head as she sank down next to him. "I . . . I can't."

He seemed disturbed by her answer. But he ignored the nagging that told him to press on it, and gave a fake smile, well, at least tried to. "It's . . . it's okay. Your still Taji right?"

She gave a timid smile. It hurt her to see him trying to be alright with the changes within her, but still, she was glad he didn't press for an explanation. "Right."

She turned around slightly and looked at the pond that was nearby. "Please tell me you didn't . . . "She said when he began shivering.

Nodding his head and giving an embarrassed smile,he sneezed once before pulling his knees close. Taji shook her head and pointed towards the sleeping bag. He shook his head. "No. I'm not sleepy."

"You go to it or I'm going to put you in it." She said sternly, half teasing but meaning for him to do what she said. With a smile and a grimace, he crawled over to the sleeping bag and laid down in it. Pulling the covers up to his neck, she nodded her head approvingly as she laid her sleeping bag next to his.

"Hey . . . what about . . . "

"Not home. I don't have to go to school tomorrow. So I guess you can come in the house."

Sora looked a little shaken by her confession, but he didn't comment as he watched her climb in the sleeping bag. Getting warm and comfortable in her covers tooka little bit more time, but she sighed when the cool chill of the night didn't bother her as much as it did before. "Sora . . . when you realized that it changed . . . were you scared?"

Sora didn't say anything for a while. Taji didn't think he was going to answer. "I . . . I wasn't scared. But I was a little startled. That's all. It's not everyday something like that changes. Does it happen every night?"

Taji cleared her throat. "I . . . I can't really talk about it."

Sora grinned. "I understand."

They laid in silence for a while. Neither wanted to speak, neither wanted to ruin the special feeling of when they were together. Sora, to Taji's surprise, reached over and moved a locke of hair behind her ear, a compassionate twinkle in his eyes that made her cheeks warm and a soft sigh escape her. He smiled slightly, noting the way her eyelashes fluttered as he continued to play in her hair.

Wondering whether she was an angel in disguise, or just a mystical being that was sent to bring him to heaven, it was amazing the way she made him feel when something was troubling him. It didn't matter whether he had a hole in his stomach, or just whether he was suffering from a headache. Seeing her always made his pain go away, and she always brightened his day. She sighed again. "Taji No Taisho," He muttered.

She nearly withdrew from his gentle touches, and she felt an odd sense of completeness as her name tumbled off of his lips. It felt so right, so perfect, that all she could do was wiggle a little closer, reaching forward and running her fingers through his hair. Nothing impressed her like the way his eyes flashed when she touched him did. It made her smile, laugh sometimes, and it was amazing how she could read him by staring into the oceans that led to his mind.

"S-Sora. . . "She mumbled, pulling her hand back slowly. He caught her wrist, and to her surprise, brought to to his face, putting it on his cheek and holding it there softly. He chuckled when she gave a soft gasp, and in return, he kissed the palm of her hand and allowed her to take it back, even though she did so reluctantly.

"Taisho?"

"Hmmm?"

"Goodnight."

"'Night."

8:88:888:88:8

Taji blinked her eyes as immediately the smell of pain and blood drifted into her nostrils. Sitting up and looking around,she frowned in confusion before her gaze fell to the cream colored back that was taking a bath in the pond. Eyes still half sleep, she blinked them again as she wiggled out of her covers and called out to him. "Sora? Sora?"

"I'm here." He said with a hint of shock. She heard the water slosh, and she winced as the pain radiated more strongly.

"Is everything alright?" She said as she quirked her ears under her concealment spell, having them turn left and right to examine her area. Sora walked back in, a shirt covering his chest with a pair of boxers on. Immediately she stood up and reached for his chest, but he stepped back with a stern look on his face.

"I'm fine." He said, but the look on her face told him she didn't believe him.

She gave him a look meant to let him know just what she thought about his lying as she stared at his stomach. "You know, I can just help you if you let me."

"That's what I mean!" He said, accusation high in his tone. "How do you always know when something's wrong?"

"Ah-ha!" She countered."So it is something! Show me!"

"I'm fine!"

"No your not! Your lying! I can tell!"

"Taji . . . "

Sora looked really irritated, but Taji wouldn't back down an inch. Fourteen years of screaming at her bakas of a family had taught her never to back down, at the slightest change in expression. "You can't hide it from me. Show me." She said, reaching for his shirt.

He went to pry her hands away, but slowly drew them back as he shrugged his shoulders and lifted his shirt so that she could see the wound. Her face immediately turned pale, almost a chalky white as she suddenly froze and stared in shock. "Did he do this to you?"

"Who? My old man?" Sora chuckled nervously as he pulled his shirt back down, and kept pulling at it, even when it was choking him. "No . . . I was playing and I fell. It's nothing."

"You need stitches. "She said matter-of-factly. "You need to go to the hospital."

"I'm fine." He said, his tone a little gruffer than he intended it to be. With a slight hint of surprise in her eyes, she reluctantly drop the subject as she lit the fire in front of her. In silence, she watched as he tidied up the area they were in as she stared into the fire. He was lying, she could smell it. It was plucking at her nerves, making her grind her teeth and fight with all her will power and soul not to cry. She knew his father did this to him, despite the fact that his father's stench was all over it from when he tried to clean it up, it blantantly stood out from 'accidental' wounds, clearly stating that it had been done purposely. But Taji knew better than that. She couldn't just simply make accusations. Even though, in the youkai world, he would have been convicted long ago, it would rise suspicion within the human race, and she didn't have a doubt that terrible things would happen from there.

Drooping her shoulders, she decided not to bring it up, unless it was bothering him. But it didn't look like it was going to heal well, and it also gave off an odor that made her cringe and wrinkle her nose. It wouldn't have been strong enough for humans to smell it until about two weeks later, but she definitely could, and to say she wanted to hurl right then and there wasn't close to the way she felt at that moment. Shifting slightly, she watched as he moved with care, trying not to put too much pressure on his stomach. "Sora . . . you don't have to clean up. If somebody comes into the property, I'll know." She stood up.

Sora dusted off his hands and frowned. "You're sure? Huh Taisho?"

She grabbed his hand and forced a grin on her face. "Yea, so let's go." She said with a snort, leading him back into the house.

8:88:888:88:8

"Wow. Nice place."

"Thanks. Don't break anything please. Did I tell you my dad's a murderer?"

"Yea, and I think I might not want to find out if you're telling the truth or trying to scare me." He cringed. "Your brother's are proof enough."

"Those bakas? They cringe at my voice. They are nothing to be afraid of. They wouldn't hurt a human."

"What do you mean by that? When you say 'a human'?"

Taji froze as she forced herself not to lock with the gaze that was now staring at the back of her head. He was sitting on her bed as she looked for a change of clothes in her drawer, keeping her company when they just began talking. She didn't realize they had drifted all the way to this topic. "Nothing . . . I was just being sarcastic."

"R-i-i-ight. You know," Sora laughed. "You're the weirdest girl I have ever met."

"Cool. Glad I fit in your records."

Sora blushed. "Me too."

Taji giggled with embarrassment as she muttered an 'excuse me' and hurried off to the bathroom to get ready. Turning on the hot water, she set the temperature before peeling off her clothing and stepping into the shower stall. Feeling the hot water wash off all of the stress and fear, leaving a pure, strong being in it's wake, she sighed and allowed the water to capture her hair also.

He was coming to close to the truth. Taji knew that, and even though half of her screamed at her that she was letting him too close, and that it could be fatal, the other half was overjoyed.

You're going to regret this! A voice said, speaking for the first time in a long while.

No I'm not . . . it's nice being friends with him. He's sweet.

That's not what I mean. It growled. You know exactly what I mean. You were going to tell him the family secret. Are you trying to get killed? You hardly know this kid . . .

He's my friend, and I trust him.

But yet, he doesn't trust you enough to tell you the truth about his father.

The words that spoke the truth so accurately stabbed at her stomach, made her cringe and bit back tears that had threatened to rise within her. The voice didn't know how accurate it really was, did it? And the only thing was, she didn't want to believe it, yet she knew it was true. That's . . . that's different.

Is it really? It's two different scenarios, correct. But they both come to have the same purpose. Trust. You trust him with a secret that could determine your fate, and he can't even tell you what you already know. Is that true friendship?

Give him time . . . she muttered as she opened her eyes, standing out of the water. "Give him time . . . and he'll come to.

I hope you're right. But when he hurts you more than he could ever come to realize Taisho, The voice sighed. Don't say I didn't tell you to be careful. I'm not always going to be there to help you.

Taji sighed in relief as the voice died away just as silently as it had come. How often had she had these talks that often led her to the brink of tears? Her youkai was overly dramatic, and paranoid, she thought. But her father said, that on life and death matters, when it had a nudge something was wrong, always make sure to check and see nothing was wrong. Taji had heard about numerous times when her father thought he was endangering her mother and himself by allowing Kagome to become so close to him. Even though he tried to stop it, it was almost impossible to ignore, and after a while, he succombed to her cries, and returned to the nearly fatal friendship that always led to him saving her, and then later on becoming one with the dirt.

Taji giggled. She had only witnessed the punishment once, but she always knew when it happened. Her mother and father was taking her and her brother's shopping for clothes to wear to the business dinner held in honor of her cousin being promoted. Her father and her brothers were waiting outside as her and her mother tried on matching dresses.

"Mommy!" She whined, flattening down her ears. "I don't like it."

Kagome smiled. "Taji? Why not?" She asked as she flattened her tail between her legs and frowned when it was still noticable to youkai eyes.

"It's too . . . pretty. " She exagerated the last word, letting it roll of her of her lips like it was disgusting.

Kagome fought back a laugh as she reached over and tweaked her daughters ears. "Are you sure? The dress makes you look beautiful."

"But mommy, I don't want to be prettier than you!" Taji whined, her lips quivering like she was going to cry. Kagome, touched by the confession, crouched down in front of Taji and kissed her forehead.

"Taji dear . . .you and I are equal. You are a mini version of me, and I desire you to be prettier than me, to show the young men what to expect when you are older." Kagome winked. "And to tick your father off."

Taji giggled and dashed a small hand across her face. "Really?"

Kagome hugged her. "Really."

Taji still looked disturbed. "But . .. they are too far from our knees. Daddy never lets us wear anything far from our knees." She commented as Kagome stood up. Kagome shrugged.

"Yes, I know. But your father needs to loosen up." Kagome grabbed her hand and with a gentle tug, pulled Taji out of the dressing room. InuYasha and the boys gawked for a minute before InuYasha began growling.

Here it comes . . .

"Wench . . . go back and both of you take those off!" He barked.

Kagome's, who tail was now standing straight out with her growing anger, growled. "InuYasha, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the dress!"

InuYasha blushed. "You know damn well why you can't wear that dress where other people can see you."

Kagome snorted. "Do you mean people or men?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That your a baka."

"Wench . . . take it off."

"And what's the reason Taji can't wear hers?" Kagome said, pointing at her daughter.

InuYasha scoffed. "There will be young men there two. Would you rather me be in jail, or home with you?"

"Noone's going to . . . "

"I will blow that building up as well as this one Kagome . . . "InuYasha threatened with a sharp snarl. "Take it off."

"No."

"Wench . . ." InuYasha bared his fangs in obvious irritation, but didn't make a move as to physically threaten her. "Go and take it off now."

"InuYasha . . . "

"Oh hell . . . "

"Sit boy!"

Taji laughed for the rest of the night. And they did get the dresses too. But, the party wasa disaster. It seems that many people were looking at her mother and herself. Well . . . InuYasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga and destroyed half of the building. But, with a couple of phone calls, the news cast reported that the oven exploded.

Taji sighed as shelathered up her hair, running her fingers through the soft silvery strands as the water began to make her skin numb. She rinsed her hair out, proceeded to take a shower, and stepped out of the stall. Wrapping a towel around her chest, and not bothering to wrap up her hair, she gathered her clothes and left the bathroom. Walking into her room, she smiled and closed the door behind her as she entered. Pivoting, she stopped dead in her tracks as the intruder's face exploded in color and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

8:88:888:88:8

Sora watched as she shuffled out of the room after excusing herself. With a sigh, he heard the bathroom door close with a loud moan and he stood up and stalked out of the kitchen. He didn't know why he was walking around, but he found himself in the living room. Sitting on one of the couches, his gaze fell to the picture on the table.

A picture of her, her brothers and another woman who he guessed to be here grandmother were all smiling in the picture. Taji, who's smile was radiant like the morning sun, looked the happiest out of all of them. He envied her happiness, how her family was so understanding, and the love they shared for each other. Taking his gaze off of that picture, he stared at the picture that was sitting next to it. A young man and a young woman were in the picture, holding hands and grinned shyly. They looked like they were at the beach, and Sora could see two young boys playing behind them. He frowned at the odd clothes the father and the two young boys were wearing.

Eyes widening as he looked at the young woman, he stared into her face as he picked up the picture. Was it Taji? His gaze fell to her stomach. No, this must be her mother. It was amazing how Taji looked just like her mother. Her smile, her body shape, she was a complete mirror image, and it just made him wonder just how different this family was. This had to be an old picture . . . she must be pregnant with Taji here.

Putting the picture back where he found it, he stood up and stalked out of the room. Following natural instinct, he went upstairs and opened the first door that he found. The room, which was a red color with black borders, had pictures of models all over it, and it had a couple of games and game systems. Closing the door back quickly, he could only guess the door on the other side of the hall was the twin brothers. Passing the two open doors, his wandering led him to the door at the end of the hall. He could almost fell her, smell her essence from the closed door, and with a sigh, he opened the door.

Walking to the bed, he sat on it slowly as he gazed around the room. It was organized, tidy, and wonderful, just like the possesser of the room. Everything was either silver of yellow, and that amazed him as well. He looked onto the dresser directly in front of her, and he frowned at the picture that was sitting there. A picture of her and another young man, she looked happy, and embarrassed as the boy kissed her on her cheek softly.

Sora felt his heart sink, but he smiled sadly and shook his head. He wasn't even supposed to be up here anyway, but the way she looked in that picture . . . it made his heart shatter. They were friends. That was all it was going to be. He never had a chance with somebody like her, and for him to possess such strong and possessive feeling for her. It's just plain right stupid. He looked at the picture again. The boy looked oddly familiar, and at that thought, anger rised within him, and for a moment he almost thought he was growling.

Just then, the door flew open, and he watched as Taji stormed into the room with nothing but a towel on. He felt his groin jump as his gaze fell to her chest, then to her legs, and he shifted uncomfortably as a familiar feeling rose in him. Eyes bugging out, he nearly cried at the sight that caused him to go crazy. Oh Kami . . .

8:88:888:88:8

A/N

Hello there everyone! Sorry that it took me so long to update, I have been out ever since I updated the last time. I thought I was going to be able to update everyday, but taking another look at my new schedule for the rest of the school year, as well as for the summer, I just don't think that's going to happen. Enjoy!