Thanks once again for all the nice reviews. I promise I am trying to wind this thing down. It won't be long (I hope). In places where I've mentioned EEG, I am referring to electroencephalogram, which measures brain waves (I had some questions).

Chapter 8

McKay thought about what Weir had said for several minutes. He looked at Sheppard, poking at objects on the table. Surely she didn't think...No,it couldn't be...could it? The only way to find out for sure was to return Sheppard to normal, or at least what passed for normal with him. He had work to do.

"Can I play with this?" came the question from across the room.

McKay looked up to see Sheppard with a small ancient device they had recently discovered. McKay jumped up and yelled, "No! Put that down, right NOW!"

Sheppard was so startled, he dropped the object immediately. "I'm sorry," he said, his face clouded in fear and resentment.

McKay took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, John, I didn't mean to yell. You scared me. You don't need to touch those things. They are from the Ancients and I'm afraid they could hurt you."

John looked relieved that McKay wasn't mad. "Oh. It's okay. These won't hurt. They're too little. The only ones that hurt are the big ones with the quantae."

McKay looked confused. "The what?"

"The big ones with the quantae."

"I don't know that word...quan..tae. What is that?"

Sheppard looked at McKay like he must be stupid. "It's ...quantae...you know..."

McKay thought back to his conversation with Weir. "Quantae...is that like a ...lock?"

Sheppard tilted his head slightly to the right and then to the left, obviously considering the suggestion. "Yeah...I guess it's kind of like a lock. Only some people can turn on things with a quantae. You really have to think hard. It makes my head hurt."

"Yes!" McKay whispered with enthusiasm. He had been right. He was one step closer to figuring this thing out. He went to work with a fury, putting this new piece of information in his database.

Sheppard managed to putter around the lab, basically staying out of trouble for about an hour. Then he began to work on McKay's nerves. "What is this?" he asked, picking up an instrument from the table.

McKay glanced up. "It detects energy readings and helps identify them."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need to detect energy readings?"

"Well, it can tell us if there is likely to be a civilization and it helps us determine if there might be a ZPM or other power supply. Then we can..." McKay sighed. "We just need to know."

A few minutes passed in relative silence. "What are these?"

McKay looked up again, anger starting to build and causing him to grit his teeth together. "What?" he asked sharply.

Sheppard didn't notice the tone. He was rubbing his fingers over a small pile of gravel-sized stones. "These little rocks. Why do you have rocks in here?"

McKay rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache creeping through his temples and behind his eyeballs. This could be a long afternoon. He decided right then and there that he should probably never have children. It was ashamed not to pass on his genius genetic line...what he could do with the right woman...but he would never have the patience. "They are mineral samples from PX3-449."

"What's a mineral?"

"It's the stuff the rocks are made of." He could feel the tension building in his neck and shoulders.

"Why do you want to know what the rocks are made of?"

"We just do. Could you not ask so many questions? I'm trying to work here." McKay snapped.

Sheppard pouted and whined, "Can I play with them?"

"YES! If you will sit down and shut up, by all means play with them!" McKay roared.

The force of his yelling caught Sheppard off guard, causing him to flinch. He knocked into a tray of devices and they went skittering to the floor. One of the devices broke into several small pieces. Sheppard looked terrified. "Oh no! I'm...sorry. I'm sorry," he said in a panic. He backed away from the mess on the floor. Please...don't ...be...mad."

"What have you done? You idiot! Why can't you just leave stuff alone?" He looked up in time to see Sheppard run from the room. He stood shaking in anger for a minute, slowly aware of just how much he'd lost control. Then his words began to play back in his head and his face sank. My God, what have I done? He ran out of the lab, praying he could find Sheppard.

He wandered down corridors, looking for Sheppard for almost twenty minutes. If he didn't find him soon, he'd have to contact Weir and tell her what had happened. Where could Sheppard be? He stopped for a minute to think and realized he was almost to Sheppard's quarters. Might as well check there before admitting defeat.

McKay knocked on Sheppard's door. "John, are you in there?" There was no answer, but he distinctly heard the sound of movement in the room. He opened the door and slowly walked in. The room was dark, but he heard the sound of muffled sobs. As his eyes adjusted to the dark interior of the room, he spotted Sheppard sitting in the far corner, his knees pulled up to his chin. The major's arms were wrapped around his legs, holding them tightly to his body. He took in a shuddering breath as he tried to stop crying.

McKay eased over toward Sheppard, wanting desperately to comfort him. "John...I am so sorry..."

"Go away!"

McKay winced. "Look, I know I deserved that. I guess I'm just tired and cranky today. You know how I get when I'm tired...I...really didn't...I mean I...didn't mean to yell so much." McKay wished he could go back in time and take back everything he had said, but he knew he couldn't. Yeah...definitely no kids...they would undoubtedly be scarred for life.

"I said go away. Just leave me alone." Sheppard rubbed the tears from his face. "No one wants me here. Everyone wants the old John back...Dr. Kavanagh is right...I shouldn't be here cause I'm...worthless."

"You will NOT say that! I don't ever want to hear that come out of your mouth again. You most certainly are not worthless and I will not listen to you or anyone else say that you are. John...can't you tell why we have all been so upset...It's because we love you. We are like a family...no...That's not right. We ARE a family. We take care of each other. We're just worried about you."

Sheppard wiped his hand across his face again, looking uncertain. "Really? A family?"

McKay smiled. "You better believe it!"

John looked thoughtful for a minute. "I know you miss the old John. I think I do too. There's so many things I remember part of, but I don't understand. I want to understand. I feel like...part of me is missing. Please fix me. I don't want to do this any more. Please...just fix me." He bowed his head to his knees and began to softly cry again. McKay sat down beside John and put his arm around him. He had no idea how his friend must be suffering, but he knew he had to somehow find a way to help him. They sat there for several minutes.

"How about a walk?"

Sheppard looked up in suprise. "A walk?"

"Yeah, you know, to clear our head and help us think. I think we've been cooped up in labs and infirmaries so long, we've got cobwebs in our brain. Let's go take a walk and smell the ocean."

"Will smelling the ocean really help us think better?"

McKay nodded. "You bet. After our walk, we'll have clear heads. Then we can go back to the lab and solve this problem"

Sheppard tried to smile. He wasn't buying it, but he was trying to put on a brave front.

They walked along an outside walkway for several minutes without speaking. McKay didn't know what to say and Sheppard didn't seem to want to talk. They were getting into uninhabited areas of the city. McKay paused and put his arms on the rail of the balcony, watching the waves below. A slight breeze ruffled their hair as Sheppard joined him. For just an instant, it was almost like things were back to normal. McKay was about to snap out with a sarcastic remark, when Sheppard spoke.

"I know where we are."

"Atlantis, the last time I checked." McKay winced, uncertain how Sheppard would respond. He looked around to find Sheppard looking toward the buildings and not the ocean. "What are you looking at?"

"I know where we are...I've got to show you something...it's really cool." Sheppard opened the nearest door and ran down the corridor. It took McKay a minute to react and even then he had a hard time keeping up. He was panting and out of breath when he saw Sheppard disappear into a room. He paused a moment to catch his breath. What was that maniac doing, trying to kill him?

McKay staggered to the door and stepped in. "O...kay...what...is...so...import..." His jaw dropped as he looked up to see Sheppard frantically working on a wall console, lights coming on as he touched tiles and buttons. There was a large console next to it that appeared to have already been activated. McKay panicked.

"NO! STOP! John, get away from there! You're going to kill yourself." He yelled all the way across the room and then grabbed Sheppard by the arm and pulled him away from the console.

"Let me go. I can fix it. I'm not worthless cause I can fix them. I can help!" He pushed McKay with more force than he probably had intended. He was so intent on activating the control panels that he didn't see McKay stumble backwards and trip over debris in the floor. Unable to catch himself in time, McKay's head made a thud as it connected with the floor. A fireworks explosion went off in his head.

It was several minutes before McKay's head began to clear. He kept waiting on the fog to roll out so he could see where he was. He moaned as he tried to raise up and the throbbing in his head multiplied exponentially. He finally got his eyes open in time to see Sheppard finishing his fourth control panel. It all came back to him in a rush. He leaped to his feet and then swayed back and forth, deciding that may not have been the best move. By the time he reached Sheppard, he was a little more steady on his feet.

He grabbed Sheppard by the arms and spun him around. "Just what do you think you are doing? You have to stop this now."

Sheppard just looked at him, his eyes vacant and glassy.

"Oh no. Don't you do this to me. John, you can't do this to me again! JOHN!" Sheppard's legs gave way and he pitched forward. McKay reacted by catching John and putting him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. He lifted him up and headed toward the infirmary, calling Beckett on the way.

TBC