And ubsurd comments.
"Hermione, you do know being a nice girl's no fun..." A fifth year said, walking up to her.
"Eew! Sickos!"
"Sit by me, you'll have a good time!"
"YOUR ALL JUST PERVERTS!"
"Ahem."
"Sorry proffessors."
She sat with Ginny.
Ginny sighed.
"Do you think Harry noticed me?"
"How could he not? That outfit made your breasts look even larger than yesterday."
Ginny shoved Hermione hard. With kinda bad aim. Let's just say that a plate of eggs and buttered toast were very convientiently placed...
"GINNY! YOU'RE DEAD!"
Ginnny ran off and Hermione started to follow her, but decided it showed a bit too much detail in her chest area. Besides, she couldn't run with heels anyways.
She just decided to finish her breakfast.
She went to the Gryffindor Common Room. (Let's say it's a weekend.)
"Hermione, you ready to go to Hogsmead?" (A very special weekend.)
"Yeah, sure."
They walked into Zonko's joke shop, and men parted to make room for the girls. Most couldn't move. They were transfixed with these two things that only women have... (everyone is confuzzled) That Bounce! (Ohhhhhh - goes the crowd)
They bought some stuff and headed into the new place that just opened up. It was called: Nakeele's Hideaway. (Nakeele is my character completely random!)
They entered and to their relief didn't see anyone they knew. Ginny was really mad at boys as of now so she decided to tell come jokes on the mishaps of boys.
"Here, I got some funny jokes. Here's one, you see, four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As theywere heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call. The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,
in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny are, and ask what line of work his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,
and I've just recently discovered he's gay."
As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,
and a big stock portfolio."
Hermione gasped and would have burst out laughing if there hadnt been anyone around them. Instead she held her composure and burst into a fit of EXTREMELY loud giggles.
"Oh, wait, here's another one!
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !"
"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.
"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on.
"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood."
"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.
"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !"
The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!" "
Hermione lost her composure and laughed until she had tears in her eyes.
"Oh, only one more then. Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach.
The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than daddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
Hermione didn't find that one too funny, particularly because the one man was cheating on his wife, but she laughed anyways. Together she and Ginny left the Hideaway.
"You heard that didn't you? Those girls are sooooo MEAN!"
"But they weren't any worse than us-"
"QUIET!" Ron screeched as he put the listening device away. "We will make them PAAY..."
"Err... how?"
"I don't know."
The boys headed into Zonko's and meet a rather peculair looking boy with black hair, really well tanned skin (the kind you go to a booth for) , silver eyes, baggy kahpri pants, a black T-shirt, and spiked bracelets.
"Hey." He says. "I'm Kenokiro." (My character!)
"Hi."
"What's gotten you down?"
"Well..."
"Ya see, there were these groups of girls at our school, and we were making fun of girls on night, then the next night they were like all GRRRRR and so know we heard them making fun of us."
"Ooookay..."
"Ooof!"
"Oww!"
"Auugh!"
"Woah!"
The four girls fell and helped each other up.
One had purple hair and eyes that changed colors, white skin, and a tightish dress that was white on. The other had blue hair with red highlights a the tips, and was weary shorts and a white T-shiry. Her eyes were gold.
"Hi, I'm Sukina!" The purple-haired one said. (My character)
"Hello, I'm Nakeele." (Mine)
"Hermione!"
"Ginny."
"You know what? I don't like boys." Hermione said.
"Why?"
The boys had soon met with another boy, this time name Kwinio, (MY CHARACTER!) He had pale white skin, blue hair, round glasses, black eyes, a blue shirt, and black pants on.
It was then both the boys and the girls found that their newfound friends were...
"YOUR GOING TO HOGWARTS?"
Heeheehee. I understand this one might have been less funny, except for the jokes, but its 2:30 in the morning so ya can't blame me. yawn Also, I'm going to Germany for a vacation for a couple of weeks on like the 15th. Sorry!
Digimon ruler.9 - Oh yeah!
mysticofthepen - Thank you! I'll try to keep the funny.
HogwartGirl16 - No problem!
amrawo - Aww, thanks. Hopefully you can read this chapter before you leave!
HiddenSmile - Okay... I'm sure my vacation will kill ya though.
lilchica - Okay I will! Thanks SOO much!
ChristinaMarie15 - Well sometimes when shy boys get REAALLY nervous and don't know what to say...
Thanks everyone for reviewing! You make me wanna update sooner! So please...
Review!
KHdreamer