Ghostbusters Meets South Park 2

(Disclaimer: This story is based on the South Park episode, "Tom's Rhinoplasty". If you have seen this episode, you'll understand why it is, the way it is(you know what I mean).

Additional note: I don't own RGB or South Park, only the characters Clara Hamilton and Janna Melloy/Afsana Khomemi.

It was night again, and everyone, including the newest addition to the team, Clara Hamilton, was asleep. Once again, Egon was about to have another unusual dream…..

South Park, Colorado:

It was morning again. The alarm clock buzzed and Egon woke up, once again to discover that he was in Stan's room. "Oh no, not again." He groaned. Just then, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Egon, did you wake up as Stan again?"

"Yeah Ray, unfortunately. Tell me, why do I keep dreaming about us as these characters? I never watch South Park."

"Beats me." Ray/Kyle replied. "Well, I'll see you at the bus stop again."

"Right. Bye." Just as Egon/Stan hung up the phone, it rang again. "Hello?"

"Egon, I am so gonna kick your ass if I see you!"

"Oh great." Egon/Stan muttered. "Peter, I didn't want this to happen anymore than you did."

"Well, I'm still pissed off at you!" Peter/Cartman snapped.

"Fine. Be pissed off. See you at the bus stop Peter. Oh, and Peter, do me a favour. Leave your bad mood at home." Egon/Stan told him. SLAM! went the phone receiver. Then Egon/Stan giggled. "Peter isCartman again." He remarked to himself.

One by one, they all met at the bus stop. Ray as Kyle, Egon as Stan, and Peter as Cartman. "Where's Winston?" Kyle asked. "Don't tell me he's Kenny again."

"He is. Look." Stan pointed as Winston/Kenny ran up to them.

"MMM-MMM-MMMM-MMMMMMPH?" Winston/Kenny shouted, obviously angry.

"Look Winston, I'm sorry. I don't why this happened." Stan told him. Cartman fell over, laughing hysterically.

"HA-HA-HA! I don't believe it! Winston is Kenny again!"

"MM-MMMPH!" Winston/Kenny snapped.

"Yeah shut up Fat-Boy!" Kyle added.

"HEY! Don't call me fat you fucking Jew!" Cartman snapped. Before anything else could happen, the school bus pulled up.

"Hurry up! We're running late!" Miss Crabtree growled.

"Oh we're always running late you ugly skank." Stan muttered.

"Sit down and shut up!" Miss Crabtree snapped.

As they were waiting for Mr. Garrison to arrive, everyone in the room was talking amongst themselves. "Hey Egon." Someone tapped Stan on the shoulder. He turned to face who it was. "Clara? Is that you?" She looked like Wendy.

"Of course it's me. It's just that I woke up as Wendy. Um, you do also know that it's almost Valentine's Day." Clara/Wendy told him.

"Already?"

"Yeah. I was thinking, maybe we could go on a cruise or something."

"I can't afford a cruise, dude." Stan replied.

"I know. What I meant was, maybe we could make a boat out of cardboard, and pretend it's a cruise." Cartman, who was listening in, started laughing.

"Shut up Cartman!" Stan snapped.

"Yeah, and quit eavesdropping Fat-Ass!" Wendy added.

"Stop calling me fat! I'm pleasantly plump!"

"You're fatter than Slimer!" Kyle said. Before Cartman could react, Mr. Garrison arrived, and he had a new student with him.

"Who is that?" Kyle wondered aloud. The girl had red hair, and kind of looked like Janine.

"She's pretty." Stan added. Wendy didn't like this.

"Egon? EGON!" She tried to get his attention.

"Mmm-mmm-mmmmph!" Kenny commented.

"You can say that again." Stan told him.

"Everyone, this is Janna Melloy." Mr. Garrison told the class.

" People usually call me Jan." Janna added.

"Right. Well, Jan, there's an empty desk right by Stan." When Jan took her seat, Stan barfed all over the floor.

"Ugh, uh, are you okay?" Jan asked him.

"Nah, he always pukes when he's in love." Cartman said.

"I'll kick your ass Cartman!"

"Stanley that's enough!" Mr. Garrison barked.

"Sorry." He muttered.

Soon, it was time for recess, and everyone was going outside to play. "Good-Bye Jan." Cartman smiled sweetly.

"Stop kissing ass Cartman." Kyle said to him.

"I'm not kissing ass!" Cartman took off after him. Jan shook her head, not noticing Wendy coming up to her.

"Can I tell you something Jan?" She asked.

"Sure, okay."

"Don'tfuck with me!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Stay away from my man, bitch! Or I'll whup your sorry little ass back to last year!" Wendy yelled.

Nothing else happened during class, but all that changed when it was time for lunch. In the cafeteria, Jan was all that Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Kenny could talk about. Wendy said hi to Stan while they were in the lunch line, but she was ignored. "HI EGON!" She yelled.

"Oh hi Clara."

"I was just in the bathroom, and Jan was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen."

"No she wasn't." Stan replied.

"Yes she was!" Wendy retorted. "And she has horrible, horrible gas too. She said she can't control it!"

"No way." Kyle said, convinced she was making it up.

"It smells like a dead cat rotting in the hot sun."

"Cool." Kenny said. This time, you could understand him.

"Okay Clara, sugar, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing." Cartman said.

"Yeah, you're acting like freak Clara." Stan added.

"NO I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A FREAK!" Wendy screeched. The whole cafeteria fell silent.

"Damn man, someone's gotta pull that monkey outta Clara's ass." Cartman said, breaking the silence. Wendy stormed off, fuming and enraged.

"Well, what are you gonna do now Wendy?" Bebe, the other girl who was with Wendy, asked.

"I don't know Bebe, but I'll think of something."

A couple days later, Mr. Garrison was teaching the class when all of a sudden, a group of armed men with machetes burst into the room. "Excuse me, " Mr. Garrison said. "Class isn't finished yet."

"We are looking for one of your students!" The group's leader barked. He scanned the room, then set his sights on Jan. He roughly picked her up by the arm. "Afsana Khomemi, you're coming us!" He growled.

"But, my name is Janna Melloy!" Jan protested.

"May I ask what you're doing with one of my students!" Mr. Garrison demanded.

"Sir, my name is Mohammed El-Masri. This girl is wanted in Iraq for prostitution!"

"What?"

"She has to be taken back to Iraq and be charged immediately!" They began to drag Jan out of the classroom.

"Noooooooooooooo!" She screamed, struggling to free herself. As Jan got herself free, she mistakenly grabbed Mohammed's machete and threw it across the room. It got Kenny in the head, then it got stuck in the wall.

"Oh my God! She killed Kenny! I mean, Winston!"Stan shrieked.

"You bastard!"Kyle added. The Iraqi officials grabbed Jan again and took her away.

"So long skank. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out now!" Wendy called after her. Stan looked at Wendy suspiciously.

After school, Wendy walked up to Stan because she wanted to talk. "I just want to apologize for the way I acted. I'm glad we're still friends, at least."

"Yeah me too. I'm just glad we found out in time who that girl really was eh?"

"I know. Hey, I'm having a party this weekend at my place. Wanna come? Ray and Peter can come too."

"Uh, okay." As Wendy leaned in to kiss Stan, he accidentally barfed in her face.

"EEWW! Egon!"

"Sorry Clara." Stan replied sheepishly.

"Hey look at that." Wendy pointed at the puddle of puke. "Isn't that today's lunch?"

"Hey yeah. There's a French fry. You can still see it."

Meanwhile, in Iraq, Jan wasn't so lucky. She ended up getting convicted of that prostitution charge. Now she was about to be sentenced. "Afsana Khomemi, you have been found guilty of prostitution, and fleeing Iraqi jurisdiction. You are to be punished by being shot into the sun!" A judge told her.

"Shot into the sun?" Jan cried. "Is this legal?"

"In Iraq, anything is legal, except for your crimes. Put her in the rocket!" The judge barked.

"This isn't true! I'm not Afsana Khomemi! I'm Janna Melloy!" Jan protested. "You're making a big mistake!" But everyone ignored her. She was locked into the rocket. Everybody stood back.

"3! 2! 1! Launch!" The Iraqi Commander ordered. The rocket took off with a mighty blast, sealing Jan's fate.

At Wendy's party, everyone was mingling with each other, talking about stuff. Nobody noticed that an Iraqi official had showed up. He said something to Wendy in Arabic, and she handed him some money. He counted the money, but was not happy. After arguing with Wendy, exchanging a few choice words in Arabic, he left. "Hey Egon! Ray! Peter! Come over here for a minute!" Wendy called out to them. They walked over to where she sitting, and she handed them each a pair of sunglasses and binoculars. "I didn't want you guys to miss this." She took out her own pair of binoculars. "Look up into the sun." They all did so, and saw a rocket fly right into the middle of it. "Good-Bye Janna Melloy, or should I say, Janine." Wendy grinned evilly.

"Clara!" Kyle gasped, shocked.

"You didn't….!" Stan added, equally shocked.

"I warned her. Don't.Fuck With Clara Hamilton!" She growled. Suddenly, there was the sound of a buzzing alarm. "Ugh! What is that noise?" Wendy yelled.

"I don't know!" Stan replied over the loud noise. Around him, everything faded………..

Just then, Egon woke up. "Time to go Egon. Let's get a move on." Ray said to him.

"Ugh, I just had the weirdest dream."

"You can tell me about it in the car. Now let's rock and roll!" Ray practically had to drag Egon out of bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Egon muttered.

The End

(sorry! No twist ending this time!)