"What's old cranky doing NOW!" shouts Kitten from her room. She had gotten Mumbo and Control Freak into forced labour to do the wallpaper and create the furniture identical to her own room of her own house. As they had super powers, it wasn't all that hard, but humiliating nevertheless. There is a slight shaking in the whole house and it is surprising that the entire thing is holding up at all!
CtrlF mumbles on the couch and scratches his head from the commotion. Mumbo walks out of his five star closet in night gown and cap still yawning.
"HAHAHAHAHAA!" laughs Mod insanely and he falls down the stairs.
"I think he's finally flipped!" comments CtrlF to Mumbo as they help him up.
"Only flipping great!" smirks Mod happily and he begins to dance around with the other two around the coffee table. He trips on a stool and they all fall down. "LET THE PARTY BEGIN!" says Mod and he uses his cane to activate the stereo with the Austin Powers theme music. (Listen to it and use your imagination!)
"Oh! I love this tune!" says CtrlH and he presses his remote button into his white retro suit. Mumbo does likewise with his wand and the three slightly demented villains dance 70's spy style with disco lights… until a laser blast obliterates the music.
"Man I hated that!" says Kitten in her girl moth outfit with sting blaster smoking. "Where did you guys learn to dance though, you actually weren't that bad considering your old and fat."
"I'm not that old!" says CtrlF.
"You're still fat!"
"I am n… oh yeah…" and he shuffles his toes downcast (He can't see his feet).
"What was all that noise about landlord?"
"Why! My shagadelic plan is finished!" says Mod in victory. "I now only need to ask for one million dollars for the world…" suddenly a shoe hits him. "What? Ow! Who in the world throws a shoe? You ask me? Oh! Right, I'll ask for one hundred trillion dollars from the united nations for the world's ransom! Yeah-baby-yeah!"
"What's he on about? Or rather; what is he on?"
"I think our esteemed host is referring to his nuclear silo takeover." says Mumbo smiling and twirling a finger at his head.
"Still don't believe me eh?" says Mod annoyed. "I'll show yeh lot a thing or three!" and he hobbles upstairs.
"Watch it guys! He may be old, ugly and mad, but he's still capable enough to stop the titans; so watch out." says Kitten and they all get their weapons ready.
Without warning, the ceiling breaks away and Mumbo and CtrlF move to the stairway from the debris of rotting wood. A sort of control station pops down from Mod's room with a seat with the old man himself cackling happily. He taps on the complex controls and tunes in on the United Nations summit.
"Who is this?" says the chairman.
"This is Mad Mod here speaking to all you un-trendy people of your 'democratic' gathering." he says looking upon the world representatives. "If you kindly tap into your nuclear missile silos, you will see a few things have gone wrong!"
Indeed, many missile complexes had locked themselves down, lethal security activated and the engineers and soldiers helpless outside, unable to get in to try and combat Mod's control frequency, let alone defuse any missiles. There is panic in the room.
"Please keep calm everyone!" says the perplexed chairman, but Mod issues silence by speaking his demands.
"All I ask is $1,000,000,000 pounds (That's English you hear?) delivered to me, Mad Mod, along to secret coordinates. Do so, and I will not send one missile to each major capital of earth as well as detonate one missile in every complex. What do you say chappies?"
"We do not bargain with terrorists!" says the chairman.
"Oh really?" smiles Mod, and he closes the channel to the horror of the committee.
"I can't believe you just did that!" says CtrlF pale. "You're not really going to…?"
"Of course I am!" snaps Mod, levering down from the platform. The walls crumble away to expose the great circuitry and instruments hidden in the house. "Nothing like a good obliteration of most of the world's populace to begin the reclaiming of the earth with me at the crown!"
"But all those people!" says Mumbo, who, even though he was a criminal, was not one to go on that scale or genocide. "This is outrageous! Even for a super villain!"
"Just calm down wrinkly and pack up your charade!" says Kitten, though sweating a little as she notices that one button could mean the collapse of the world. "I mean, once you do get control of the earth, if you ever do (And even then, you'd have to wait in an underground bunker for a few years!) you'd be close to death's door! I mean, at your age…"
"A problem quickly solved little miss moth!" smiles Mod with evil glasses. The others look at each other confused and so did not see Mod's cane extend towards them and fire…
…
Gotham
"So that's why we couldn't track them! It was so obvious!" thinks Bruce as he is shifted to the main base. The two green clad women in sort of tights (Quiz and Query) set him into his new quarters with its own screen aquarium. They are also followed by a few armed escorts to be on the safe side.
"I hope you enjoy your stay?" says Quiz.
"Ask if you need anything." says Query, also checking his pockets for a wallet, him being a trillionare and all that. Finding a forgotten C note, they go and lock the door, leaving Bruce to watch the fishes.
"Ahoy there Mr. Wayne!" says the Penguin on a large screen that comes from the roof. "Like your new prison?"
"I could use some company, want to talk face to face without your hoods?" says Bruce, setting on the couch. There was little else to do.
"No thankyou sir, I'm quite comfortable where I am." smiles Oswald. "I just wanted to inform you that you might want to check out the news. You might find that my friends are up to their next phase of the plan. I think you will enjoy it!" and he laughs before switching off.
Bruce notes the remote. His last look at Robin's recent antics had caused him some agitation. He hoped that the boy would be able to cope with the stress, and that Catwoman would be of some help as well, as she (Though he never told Robin) was the better fighter by far. Bruce notes the remote… and thinks…
…
Jump City
"WAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAA!"
"Not again!" moans Cyborg.
"At least she hasn't changed from yesterday!" observes Beastboy, who was starting to revert back to his original self, his face now visible again.
"Which is not good if she STAYS like this!" he groans. "Wait a sec! Green light! Gotta go!" and he switches off his link to Beastboy.
"Right Silkie! Green button!" says Beastboy and the Grub switches off the communicator. "That was cool! Good boy!" and he drops him an apple.
…
As soon as he had packed the car, Cyborg had rushed in pursuit of the missing Starfire, hoping to see her on route to Gotham, where he suspected she was heading.
"It's okay… still good…I'm cool! I'm fine…Oh man! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Robin's gonna strangle me, pour salt on my circuits and impale me alive on a pole with snakes around it! Oh man, oh man, oh man!" he whines while simultaneously scanning the road. It had been about five minutes since he left the outskirts of town. Dawn was coming on…
…
Gotham
"That was a level two earthquake." comments Alfred as Robin reads the next clue from the Riddler. "I do think this is the last riddle, or else his next clue may topple the entire city!"
"The big worry I have is for the major fault line that's right under our feet Al!" sighs Robin, looking at the last riddle. "Chances of that happening are pretty funny huh? I mean; where it hits hardest is right under our house, the bat cave…" and he smiles.
"Do you need more anti toxin's sir?"
"Yes please Alfred…" says Robin, unable to move his smile down, or stop the twitching of his fist in the urge to punch something. Alfred administers more of the drug and he begins to settle again. "Thanks… this venom is really starting to take a hold now…"
"Do you think 'they' will have a cure sir?"
"If the Joker had one, I doubt he would give it, lest I force him to." says Robin drearily, controlling his anger as best he could. "I think its revenge for the Starfire vaccine. I think a primary dose from the original host might be strong enough to cure me…" and then he suddenly remembers Starfire. "Oh great gastropods! She's going to go nuts!"
"I'm afraid all communications from Gotham have been… err… interrupted as of late."
"I hope the guys are fine!" he mumbles and rests his head upon his arms. As a precaution, he was strapped down to his bed to avoid another 'sleep knifing'. From the bite marks and worn belts, it may have saved their lives! His nerves were worn out.
"That is an easy one sir, if I do say so myself." says Alfred, trying to brighten the atmosphere.
Heads we were, yet on the neck we still hang bidden. Smiles now bare and our eyes we keep hidden.
"Skulls I think." says the butler, passing him some more tea.
"Yeah… but what does it all mean? Lips, atlas, no, evil and skulls? Backwards; spill salt on live sluks?"
"I think he intended 'slugs' sir."
"That would make sense! But apart from a gruesome death, I don't know what else it could mean!" and he administers another dose to stop him from head butting the machinery in aggravation.
"Let me think a bit…" says Alfred, getting gravely concerned. "What is the definition of a slug sir?"
"A gastropod, a slimy organism… or metal slug; as in a type of ammunition!" and it clicks on him. "THAT'S why we couldn't trace him! He's in the water! Salt! Salt water! He's going to spill live explosives into the Gotham east river!"
"Are you certain sir?"
"When the docks got destroyed in the Riddler's attack, many boats were sunk. A large oil spill is still being cleaned! The warehouse he used in another attack was also a plant used to recycle old army munitions, 'Metal Slug munitions dump'! When Twoface attacked I lost his car somewhere near the river, so their base must be near by! A perfect place to store the explosives for quick dumping, which will ignite the oil spill!"
"But the spill doesn't even come close to any buildings in the vicinity?"
"When the river catches fire, not only will the salt concentration rise, but so will any electronic waves from under water by a hundred fold! I'm betting that the main base is in the river! He means to amplify the power of the wave to destroy Gotham!"
"Could he have not heated the water mechanically?"
"Yes and no. I suspect he wants all of Gotham aflame, even the water. Sounds like Twoface's logic." and he smiles. "And that tanker that tipped belonged to the Penguin too! I'm betting that there might be a special chemical in the spill to add to their plan… but what?"
"Very good, but another problem young master, you said their base was under water; we have already scanned the river! There is nothing there!"
"We scanned in the water, yes; but not the ground UNDER the water!"
…
"Oh yes! Our plan is going splendidly!" cackles the Penguin. The Riddler is playing cards against the Joker and Twoface is polishing his coin. Things had gone quite well, despite much improvisation.
Of course, Batman was the intended target of all their works, but since his mysterious disappearance, the Boy Wonder was providing just an effective target, if not more so. The Joker was particularly pleased to get revenge for his last defeat.
"Oho! I am so lucky!" laughs the clown prince of crime.
"Four aces." says the Riddler.
"Oh pooh!" and he pushes the cardboard chips his way. They didn't play for money; that could get lethal. Riddler played, as he always did, for the challenge, while Joker played for the fact it was a game. If Twoface played, he would probably marvel at the simplistic and dualistic nature of the card and look at them carelessly while viewing either side for all to see.
"When can we strike bird man?" says Twoface in his gravely tone. "I am getting… impatient…"
"Very soon Mr. Dent, very soon!" The Penguin assures. "I'm just waiting for confirmation from our dumping crew before we set off."
"But are you sure Batman will be there?" questions the Riddler. "I'd be very disappointed if he has abandoned the whole scheme to mock us!"
"Nay! He is still alive!" says the Joker, shaking his head. "No, the Bat cannot be defeated THAT easily. He is certainly no coward that is for sure…"
"But then where is he?" says Twoface getting up and pacing. "We should have killed him when we had the chance! When we had him in our clutches! A simple flip and he would be finished and my retribution complete!"
"But so drab!" says Riddler frowning. "I've always envisioned my victory over the batman to be after a long struggle between the two of us; him using his detective abilities while I deployed my brilliant mind to try and undo him. Without the game me and the Batman have played, victory means nothing."
"What makes you think YOU will destroy him before me?" and the two face off.
"Please gentlemen! Please!" says Penguin, getting up to part them. "This is no time to start bickering (His monocle glints) not when we are so close to ending this! Who knows who gets the finishing blow to Batman? If the Riddler thinks he may have a better chance, then you can just prove him wrong… that is; if you can…"
"Meaning I can't eh Oswald?" snarls Twoface.
"Tricky question that! Careful how you answer!" smiles the Riddler.
"And stop with your questions you lousy twit!"
"Bung eye!"
"Idiot!"
"Twoface!"
"Please help me here Mr. Joker will you not?" says the Penguin, stepping back as Twoface lifted Riddler by his coat.
"Oh come now!" smiles the Joker, getting up and patting them on the shoulder. "We are friends, make peace! Have a shake on me!" and he shakes them by the hand, shocking them a little bit (But not lethal).
Twoface quickly flips his coin and grumbles. He punches at the Joker who ducks, sending the Riddler over the table. The Penguin smiles.
Pulling out his tazer, Riddler gets Joker in the leg who flinches with his hair standing on end. He falls on Twoface who also gets electrocuted and kicks the table on the Riddler. The Penguin shuffles to his desk to enjoy the fight.
Twoface and Joker throttle each other and Riddler gets up and starts bating them on the head with his cane. They both look to him and he tries to flee, but gets two kicks in the backside into a pot plant. Twoface throws the Joker to follow him and dives in, in a tackle.
"Good show my companions! Good show!" laughs the Penguin, clapping his hands. Things were indeed going splendidly. He pulls out a cigar and lights it…
He promptly gets knocked out by the gas in the cigar and plops face first, quiet and still on his desk…
…
Jump City
"Come on Rae! Stop that! You're scarring me okay!" says Beastboy pathetically as Sad continues to mope.
"BUT THEY LEFT ME BEHIND! WAAAAH! THEY CLOSED THE RIIIIFT!" she whimpered in a wail. "THEY DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE!" and she starts to knock her head on the wall.
Beastboy watched on quite confused and not knowing what else to do… "Wanna hear a joke then?"
"WAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA… … … okay…" she sniffles.
"Right! Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo… wait! Bad idea!"
"Boo, wait bad idea who?"
"No, I mean the joke didn't go right…"
Sad's eyes dilute. "SEE! I ALWAYS MESS THINGS UP WAAAAAAAAAAH!" and she begins snorting up large amounts of mucus.
"Good grief, get the tissues!"
…
"Ya great red blimp! Hurry it up will ya?" sneers Evil raven. "I haven't got all day you know!"
"Repairing monsters takes time oh impatient spawn of mine." says Trigon, re-manifesting Echelon.
"Huh! I could have created another one by now!" and she blows up a boulder.
"Such a feat would be impressive indeed," smiles Trigon, but he frowns again. "But for the creature you have built, it requires all of your power to control. Any more would risk them turning upon you…"
She spits on the ground which smoulders the earth. "I'm powerful enough!"
"Only in you mind young apprentice." and Trigon secretly grins. "Only in your mind…"
…
Fight tries hard to repair her wounds, but the scars remain. Not even the efforts of the others combined could remove the marks, but it didn't pain her; yet it worried her severely.
Shy tried again as her body lifted into the air with energy radiating, but it was still only grey, not white light. Light in which they would need to battle the shadow beast. She comes back down tired from the strain.
"Good try Shy." says Mean. "Do you think it will be enough to match Echelon?" she turns to Grumpy.
"Maybe." Grumpy sighs, holding a ball of pale light. "Any light will help us. How's the fires coming Hap?"
"Kindled and dancing like trees in the wind!" smiles Happy saluting. A large ring of blue flame formed a sort of fortress around them, but Fight was doubtful. "I like dancing!" Fight frowned.
"Evil will probably attack to put out the fires first." says Fight, rubbing her side scar. "And if Trigon interferes…"
"Let us hope not…" says Grumpy, holding her shoulder, Fight forced a smile. "Courage. We have to remain strong, for everyone."
"Stars are black…" says Mean as the sky turns pitch, yet no clouds. Echelon was revived…
…
Gotham
"I have to say nice service here Mr. Cobblepot. Three stars at the very least!" smiles Bruce Wayne, resting on the couch. The Penguin rises from the floor with an aching head and slightly bent nose. He was a prisoner in his own fortress. "Hungry? Lunch is at 12. I think today's menu is…"
"Oh shut up!" snaps the Penguin, scrambling to the door. "This is outrageous! Let me out!" he commands, thumping the steel panel. "I am the brains of this fiasco! LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT!"
"Oh don't get your fat feathers flustered old boy!" says Joker over the television screen
"Why you grinning jackanapes! Just wait till I get out of here and I'll show you a handy Penguin duelling!"
"No, you can just sit back, relax!" says TwoFace. "Just leave it all to us!"
"Oh, don't get your beak out of joint Ozzie!" says the Riddler. "Your worth more alive than dead, so don't you fret, same as you Mr. Wayne."
"Ha! You can't trust yourselves, let alone each other!" laughs Penguin, though pointlessly. "I'll be laughing when you tear each other apart!"
"Don't think we we're that naive Penguin." says TwoFace. "We knew very well that you planned to take over once we started bashing each other up. That in fact created you a better opportunity, and therefore made yourself a better target as you got too bossy! We made this alliance just so we could control your henchmen and lock you up in your own cage."
"So rest at ease!" says the Joker. "We will eventually try to kill each other, but not until we humiliate the Batman! Ta-ta!" and they all laugh nervously eyeing each other with mistrust before the transmition ends.
"Annoying aren't they…" says Bruce after a brief silence.
"Very well Mr. Wayne!" sighs Oswald. "Gloat all you like! You have all the reason to do so!" and he falls back on an arm chair and searches. "Where's the remote?"
"Just going to sit there and watch TV?"
"Stuck in a high security fortress deep under water with no way to fight dozens of guards or survive submerse pressures, let alone get past this blasted first door that we have here. What else is there may I ask?"
"Just hand me your spare monocle and I'll show you… And I don't think the remote works anymore by the way. Not after what I did to it…"
…
Not too far away…
"Are you sure you want to go through with this sir?" says Alfred on the communicator. Robin speeds in the Bat-beetle, since the R-cycle and Batmobile were out. It shouldn't be hard to find the hideout, especially with the Riddler involved. There should be clues everywhere… but where?
"If anything, this venom should help me in fighting." says Robin. "I just need to control it. Got the shocker ready?"
"Ready to zap sense when you need to. I'm standing by."
It was a good plan in theory. But theory didn't really succeed all the time, just watch Scooby Doo and you'll see.
"I think I can see something!"
"A clue?"
"TwoFace goons!" Robin grimaces. Bullets fly from the masked men with Yin-Yan symbols as masks. They are joined by some circus clowns with a major gas problem… poison gas from their large bellies… "I hope Bruce is doing better than this!" he thinks. He blasts at the Clowns…
…
Jump City
"I'M SO UNHAPPY!" bawls Sad. Beastboy can't imagine how someone could cry so much without shrivelling into a prune, or wail so much till they lose their voice. It was sad to start with, then it just became ridiculous, and now it was just plain annoying… sort of reminded him of how Raven described his jokes.
"Look Rae, this is just getting really annoying now!" he says, not trying to hurt her feelings, but he was being pushed.
"SEEEEEEE! YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANY MORE! I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS ANYMORE! EVERYONE'S ABANDONED MEEEEEEEE!" and she starts the head banging thing again on the wall.
"Now look Raven! This is really freaking me out!" says Beastboy, hiding a small vein on his head. "Just stop…"
"I'M SCARY, I SCARE EVERYONE! NOBODY LIKES ME! THEY HATE ME! I ALWAYS MESS THINGS U-U-U-UUUP! WAAAAHAAAHAAA!"
"REALLY Raven, it's starting to really tick me…"
"I DON'T LIKE TICKS! WAAAH! THEY ARE SO ICKY! WAAAAAAAAA…"
"JUST SHUUUUUT UP!"
…
…
…
Several apples drop off and a few neighbouring houses check their fire alarms.
"D… did you… just say…?" begins Sad trembling a little.
"I SAID SHUT UP OKAY! THERE! I SAID IT AGAIN!" shouts Beastboy, not able to hold his annoyance any longer. For two whole days she had gone on and on. It was just too much… "I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE TICKS, I DON'T CARE IF YOU BUMPED YOUR HEAD, CRIED ON YOUR PILLOW OR FELL INTO A CHAIR! JUST STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY AND SNAP OUT OF IT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF SO EVERYONE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU SO YOU CAN FEEL SPECIAL! LOOK! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ME! WELL LET ME JUST TELL YOU, SAD FACE, YOU WERE ALREADY SPECIAL TO US RAVEN! YOU WE'RE ALREADY A GREAT FRIEND! I WANT THAT FRIEND BACK! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR SCARY, NARCOTIC OR HAVE THOUGHTS OF MY TORTURE AND OBLITERATION, YOU'RE STILL MY FRIEND AND YOU'RE DISSAPEARING WITH EVERY DAY YOU CHANGE !"
Silkie is hiding under a chair and Sad is speechless and paler than usual. When was the last time you got yelled at by a talking tree?
"I… I'm going to my room…" says Beastboy, recovering after the initial shock. He just yelled at Raven? Did he have a death wish? He uprooted himself and went to transplant to his pot in his room, leaving Sad to contemplate the events…
…
Gotham
"I must say that I am impressed at you ingenuity!" says the Penguin, observing the converted remote control.
Bruce uses the broken monocle of the Penguin as a cutting tool and laser amplifier. Ready for a break out.
"So why don't we have security cameras down here?" says Bruce, looking around for something.
"This deep in the river and with only one exit, it's pretty secure." says the Penguin shrugging. "It's my private getaway anyway, so I mean private."
"Sorry for doing this, but I think I'll need to damage your 'house' a bit." and he picks up a metal candlestick and puts it on the floor.
"So how are we going to get past the guards?" says the Penguin.
"Well, candlesticks, butter knives, forks and spoons will provide some defence…" and he melts the candlestick with the remote laser. "But this should com in handy."
"Impressive, but they have guns!"
"And they also want us alive."
"Then let us get started!"
…
"Call the commissioner Alfred, and stop zapping me!" says Robin, securing the thugs he caught. Right now he was shoving one into a busted mail box head first. Another he left balancing on his back on a fire hydrant, and quite a few had their heads stuck in some metal railings.
"I believe that man is quite secured sir. Please move on, the police are on their way." says Alfred, tapping his finger on the shock button.
"Okay fine! Right Al, I'm going in!" says Robin, and he runs off to the soap factory, a round building which ironically formed a dot, for a question mark shaped street…
…
"I can still only see the bird boy Joker!" says Twoface, monitoring the factory security cameras. "What's going on?"
"Quite right…" says the Joker puzzled, admiring Robin's greater fury as he threw a man several feet. "Where is our old enemy?"
"One must wonder why?" smiles Riddler. "If we send our forces to handle the side kick brat, it might leave us open to an attack by the vigilante himself. A diversion perhaps? Reverse psychology maybe? Perhaps he knew we would think that to make things easier for Robin? Maybe he knew we may think that and be waiting for us to send more men down, or maybe…"
"Oh shut up!" snarls TwoFace. "I'm going down there myself!" and he cocks a rifle and takes two machine gunners with him.
"Two down one to go." says the Joker smiling.
"Did you really have to say that out loud?" says the Riddler. Two groups of bodyguards separate the two villains in the rather crowded control room.
…
Jump City
"Okay, just keep calm guys, I'm sure they'll help! It's sort of an hero obligation!" says a large fat man with red greying hair as long as his beard that went to his midsection. "Can you help me lift old creaky here?" he says to one of the companions.
"I can't believe we have to do this! Argh!" says a tall pretty blonde woman in some sort of weird costume. "If we hadn't dropped our weapons, I'd have shown that pom a good piece of my mind!"
"Eh? What was that?" says a very frail old man, lanky with a blanket around his shoulders. His face was blue and wrinkly with a long mustache and goatee. He holds a little trupet to his ear.
"Never mind! Let's just knock okay!" she says, and she raps on the door, or rather thumps it really hard. "Okay, they're not at home! let's go!"
"Oh come on!" says the fat man annoyed. He blusters up and buffets the door. "If we don't warn them, there might not be a home to go to!"
"So! You want to open that window eh?" says the frail man.
"It's a door."
The man squints. "Oh so it is! Just stand back!"
"Oh great googly moogly!" says the fat man, and both he and the tall woman dive to either side of the steeple.
He picks up his wand "MUMBO-JU… what was the word? Oh yes! MUMBO- err… thingly or rather…"
A blast comes from his wand and engulfs the door in a mysterious blue light. It culuminates in a brilliant ball of energy that presses the door bell…
"Eh? That wasn't meant to happen!" says the old man, scratching his head. "I was meant to blow up that there window…"
"Door."
"Yes, door. Darn this old age! Can't even fight back against some delusional English madman!"
"One thing. You were already old! And another thing, it worked anyway!" says the woman, rolling her eyes. The door opens…