The little soldier had followed Max into the ambulance and stayed with her in the waiting room. Max paced the waiting room, unable to see anything but big blurs of color shooting past her. Her life was suddenly cracks in the ceiling again. It seemed like just when she had plastered over everything, made everything smooth and nice, and appropriate for company, something leaked through and destroyed her hard work. The ceiling split open again, sending plaster debris raining down on her. She felt like she was choking on the dust as she waited for it to settle.
She paced the length of the waiting room with the little soldier hot on her heels. The little soldier told her it was not all right to cry. The little soldier also said not to worry about the little girl because the little girl was safe in the floorboards.
It had been hours without any word. Max wondered if Jondy had killed Zack. She wondered if Lydecker killed Jondy. She wondered if Jondy had decided to kill herself.
Ten more minutes ticked by before Sam Carr shuffled into the waiting room, looking worn.
Max leapt at him and demanded to know what had happened.
"He's going to live," Sam assured her.
Max felt the little girl in her push through the floorboards and force the little soldier back into the darkness.
"He lost a lot of blood," Sam continued. "He'll probably need another transfusion within the next hour. I've got my people on the phone with every blood bank in the city."
"No need," Max told him. "I can donate to him."
"We'd have to run tests to see if -"
"Trust me," Max interrupted. "I can donate. Can we see him?"
"Yeah," Sam said. "He's sleeping now though. He'll be out for a few hours at least. I'll take you to him."
They followed Sam to a room near the end of the hospital.
"It's the most secure room we have," Sam said to Logan as he opened the door. "And I'm getting rid of the records as soon as they reach my desk. He was never here."
"Thanks, Sam," Logan said.
Sam nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Max took the seat next to Zack's bed and stared down at him.
She wanted to hold Zack's hand to let him know that she was there, but was afraid. She was afraid because it was Zack. If Zack could lie in a hospital bed, if Zack could nearly die… it could happen to anyone. Zack always seemed to be above all that. He was the big brother. He was… an ass.
She wanted to laugh at the thought but the sound wouldn't come.
She hoped she could convince Zack to give up the crusade and start a normal life - maybe somewhere in Canada. He seemed to like Canada. She knew Zack would never go back to Canada. Not without a reason. Not without her.
Her pillowy lips sunk into a deep frown and her brow furrowed. She stared down at Zack's face, which was still as hard and sharp as ever, and tried to understand him. She searched his features for some answer, but none came. There never was an answer. Deep within her she knew that she would never be able to understand her brother's love for her, but she liked to pretend she could and would be able to convince him to treat her like he treated the rest of their siblings.
She just wanted to be his sister. She just wanted a brother. But she had Zack. Whatever he was.
"You okay?" Logan asked. He wheeled the chair next to her.
She turned to him and replied, "This isn't off course."
Logan looked at Zack then turned back to Max. "No, it's not."
"Is it wrong that I forgave her?" she asked in a quiet voice. She decided to push thoughts of Zack aside for the moment - there was no use dwelling on something she could never understand nor change. "Shouldn't I hate her?"
"Maybe," Logan answered. "But maybe you really are high-minded. She's your family, Max, and she was trying to find a way to live. I'm not making excuses for her, but it's been my experience people will do anything to prolong their own lives."
"Yeah, but… not to family," Max said. "You're not supposed to do this to family."
"I don't think it's going to make sense no matter how much you think it over or you replay it in your head or whatever," Logan told her. "I don't think anyone will ever understand except for her. The world doesn't make sense sometimes, Max."
She grabbed his hand. "Some things do."
He couldn't help a small smile. "Yeah, some things."
"I wish easy was an option," she sighed. "I wish this wasn't my life."
Logan replied tentatively, "You could always go back to Canada."
Max's brow furrowed. She squeezed his hand and said, "I could never go back to Canada. I'd rather go through hell with you by my side than have the easiest life without you."
"Same here," he replied quietly.
She reached over and hugged him. She nailed the final floorboard down and let the tears fall.
She managed through her tears, "Don't ever leave me, Logan."
"I won't," he reassured quietly and held her tightly.
You couldn't blame her for being in love.