Absolutely Necessary ---Chapter One

Two months earlier....

I was torn.

Part of me was anxious to see Kyp again after all of these years. It had been nearly five since I'd last seen him face to face. During the war against the Yuuzhan Vong, he'd played such an important part in my life. More than just a friend or a mentor, and not exactly like a brother or uncle. No, the relationship we had could not have been labeled as any one thing. It was too encompassing to place such limits on what we shared.

However, there were boundaries between us...lines neither one of us would dare cross, and with good reason. I was so young, still in the process of becoming a woman and figuring out what I wanted out of life. He was older, already a man, but in many ways still finding out what kind of man he was and what he wanted to be. And so that's how it had gone. Every so often, one of us might accidentally step a toe over that line and press for something more, but we'd instantly retreat back to the safety of our respective corners and keep it from becoming something neither one of us was quite ready for. At the time, I had someone to keep me company in my corner—Jagged Fel. But Kyp...well, he had no one.

And so I was torn...eager to see him, yet ashamed it had taken so long for me to make the effort.

My pace down the long corridor slowed and I felt a knot form in my throat. Kyp had deserved more than that...especially after our last meeting. It wasn't long after the end of the Vong War. All the major battles were over, Jacen was already off on his quest to find new Force users, Danni and Tahiri sailing somewhere across the galaxy on Zonama Sekot, and Mom and Dad trying to settle into their retirement.

I had promised to meet Kyp for a long overdue dinner between friends to catch up. We were both shipping out the next morning—him to negotiate some new treaties with a few other members of the Jedi Council, and I was flying with Rogue Squadron to deal with a nasty little pocket of Vong resistance fighters. I still remember his aggravated expression when I arrived late only to tell him I had to leave early. Jag had shown up unexpectedly at my door the hour before and I, of course, couldn't wait to get back to him. He was, after all, the love of my life—or so I had thought.

Kyp's jaw clenched and he looked away from me for a second. "Go on, Jaina. In fact, go now," he had said. "Mustn't keep Fel waiting." He smiled teasingly when he said it, but I could sense the hint of anger lurking behind the words. For some reason, it irked me like only he can do.

I stood up from the table and flared my nostrils. "Fine. If you're going to be that way, I will. He'll obviously be much better company than you tonight."

"Obviously," he said coolly, taking a casual sip from his glass and flicking that eyebrow up smugly in his 'I-don't-care' expression.

I hated when he got like this. His relationship with Jag had always been strained—Kyp grudgingly ceding to Jag's position as my significant other, although he thought him unworthy, and Jag's continued suspicion that the Jedi master secretly harbored more than innocent intentions toward me. Whenever either of them brought up the issues, I quickly shut them up, not willing or ready to face any of the implications.

I stared at him, my hands clenching and unclenching into fists at my sides, willing my tongue to come up with some witty retort, but nothing came to mind. Only Kyp Durron could rile me to the point of speechlessness.

"Good night, Kyp," I said finally, realizing I wouldn't win this time. "I'll see you when I get back." Then I turned and left him sitting all alone.

That was the last time I'd seen him. I wasn't proud of my actions now that I thought back on the memory. Unfortunately, it had taken nearly five years to realize what an idiot I was for treating a friend so carelessly...which is why I had to face him now regardless of my shame. I forced myself to pick up the pace and continued thinking.

Kyp Durron. No longer one of the most detested names in the galaxy. The war had seen to that. It had made heroes out of many, and yet still so many more deserved the title. Kyp definitely did. Now, as a respected member of the council, he was helping to rebuild worlds instead of destroying them. I had kept tabs on him even though I hadn't seen him for five years. By piecing together reports from the Holonet and from Uncle Luke, I had managed to keep track of the career of my best friend I had somehow lost along the way.

I hoped that would change. I needed him back in my life. I knew that now. I was counting on him feeling the same way.

Finally, I saw his office at the end of the long corridor. I walked up to a small desk occupied by a young man, even younger than me, I guessed...fairly attractive with reddish-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I assumed he was Kyp's personal assistant. He glanced up and smiled, and I noticed a few freckles sprinkled across his nose. Wow. He was young, and I was definitely getting older just for noticing. I'd be reaching thirty in a few years and it was forcing me to reevaluate my life. That's exactly what I'd been doing for the past year.

And it had led me here.

"May I help you?" he asked politely.

"Yes, I'm here to see Master Durron."

The young man looked down and punched a few buttons on his data terminal. "Did you have an appointment?" he asked quizzically.

"No, no I didn't." I put on my best innocent damsel-in-distress face, ironically taught to me by my father, and asked, "Is that a problem?"

He glanced back up and I batted my big brown eyes several times—a trick my mother had taught me—and silently willed him to answer.

"Um, no. I don't think it will be a problem," he said with another smile. "Master Durron doesn't have any more appointments scheduled for this afternoon, so if you'll just give me your name, I'll let him know you're here."

"You don't need to know my name," I stated with a slight wave of my hand.

"I don't need to know your name," he repeated word for word. Weak minded, eh? I filed that little tidbit away for future reference.

"Just tell him an old friend is here to see him," I said casually as I took a seat in the small waiting area.

He nodded his head and commed into Kyp's office. I tried to hear Kyp's reply, but couldn't. However, I could feel him behind those closed doors. I could always feel him, and how could I not? He was like some massive supernova in the Force, only this time his presence felt more subdued and controlled. I didn't have much time to ponder what that might mean because at that moment, his office door slid open and out he came.

But he wasn't alone.

A woman was right beside him, but he quickly stepped aside to allow her to exit first. My gaze skimmed over her quickly---tall...blonde...and hanging on his arm! I felt my nostrils flare as I rose from my chair. They hadn't spotted me yet, so I took the chance to quench this unexplainable heat that flared within me.

"Oh, Kyp, darling, you simply must come back to spend another weekend with me in the country," she purred, squeezing his arm even tighter against her chest, which was nearly popping out of her unnecessarily low-cut dress. "You work too hard and need a break. You know you would enjoy yourself," she added suggestively, looking up at him from beneath her insanely long lashes.

They had to be fake.

'Take a deep breath, Jaina,' I told myself. What had I expected anyway? That he'd be alone, as usual, just waiting for the day I'd come back and admit I was wrong about us...that maybe I really did want more than a friendship? Apparently, if my guess was right, Kyp had not been sitting around pining away for my companionship.

Kyp smiled and reached a hand up to brush her cheek. "Li'andra, you know that rebuilding a galaxy takes a lot of time. I'm not sure when I'll get to—"

Then he saw me.

"Jaina?" he said in whisper, instantly dropping her arm and taking a few steps toward me. Little Miss 'Come-away-with-me-Kyp' seemed very put out by his actions. I myself was unbelievably pleased beyond measure.

"Hello, Kyp," I replied quietly with a hesitant smile, still not totally sure how he would react. Relief surged through me when he grinned from ear to ear. In the blink of an eye, he was standing in front of me, both of my hands gripped firmly in his, dark eyes staring into mine...

...and something inside me snapped. A certainty ground itself firmly into my heart and mind, leaving no room for anymore doubts. I impulsively leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him—not on the lips, but on that special place located somewhere between the corner of your mouth and your cheek. It was a kiss that was mysterious enough to make him wonder just what it meant. Why did I do it? I was happy to see him, of course, but maybe... maybe I was staking my claim. I had known him first, after all.

Kyp seemed oblivious to my intention, but not Blondie. Maybe it's a 'woman thing', as my dad calls it, but our eyes met and she instantly knew why I was here. Funny how it had taken me so long to figure it out for myself.

Kyp didn't let go of my hands, and was absent-mindedly rubbing circles on them with his thumbs. "I can't believe you're here," he exclaimed shaking his head. "It's been so long. How are you doing? Everything okay?"

I could have kissed him again for being so attentive, but I didn't. One step at a time. "I'm fine. Everything's good," I said. 'Now that I'm here with you,' I added silently. And somehow, just seeing him, being with him, did make everything good.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, refusing to let go of my hands, much to my satisfaction.

"Uncle Luke summoned me here for the next Council meeting. He hasn't told me why, but I wanted to come see you." Could he tell how much I meant that?

He chuckled and squeezed my hands. "Well, it's great to see you! I'm glad you're here."

"Ahem," came the feminine intrusion. She stepped up alongside Kyp who suddenly remembered we weren't alone. "Aren't you going to tell me who your little friend is, Kyp?" 'Little friend'?? The syrupy sweet smile on her too pretty face begged me to wipe it off--- with my fist...hard.

"Forgive me," Kyp apologized, letting my hands go. "Jaina, this is Lady Li'andra S'ynclair. And Li'andra, this is Jaina Solo," he motioned back to me with another warm smile, "a very dear friend of mine."

Maybe I was imagining it, but the way he said 'very dear' added tinder to the spark of hope already kindling inside me.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Solo," she said offering me her hand as a royal might do to her subjects. I grabbed it and shook, adding a bit more pressure than I should have.

"Thank you," I said, looking her boldly in the eye without returning the same sentiment she had offered. I wondered if Kyp noticed, but I knew that she did. I could tell by the malicious glint in her pale blue eyes that she had gotten my message loud and clear...and took it as a challenge.

Again, she latched onto his arm. "Is she the little girl you said you apprenticed during the war?" she asked him innocently. Yeah, innocent my foot!

"Kyp and I have been close ever since he tracked down my husband's killer a few years ago," she continued.

Kyp jumped in to elaborate, appearing a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Li'andra's husband was a very influential Senator. A group of rebels from their home planet had ordered a hit on..." Kyp kept talking, but I wasn't listening. I just wanted to look at him.

He looked pretty much the same as the last time I'd seen him, except for his hair. It was shorter than it used to be---still not as short as Dad's or Uncle Luke's, but he probably couldn't tie it back like he used to. There were a few more streaks of gray at his temples, but not as many as I had expected to see. It was still fairly dark and so thick that I wanted suddenly to reach up and brush that unruly lock off his forehead and then plunge my fingers through the rest of those silken waves.

His jaw was still square, nose still a tiny bit too big, and his lips... Here I ceased my wandering eye for a moment and simply watched those full, tempting lips as he rambled on about what's-her-face. I threw in a few nods and a couple of 'Oh, really's' to feign interest, but all too soon he stopped talking.

"Yes, well, needless to say, I am so...appreciative of all Kyp has done for me," she said evocatively. "We were just discussing his decision to come away with me for a while so I can...repay his kindness."

I wanted to gag. She was so transparent that I bit my tongue to keep from laughing in her face. Did he seriously like this woman's company? Even he must have realized how absurd she sounded, for I noticed a faint blush creep onto his cheeks.

"Oh, is that so?" I replied with a raised eyebrow aimed at Kyp. He glanced at me and I could tell he was praying I wouldn't say anything more. "Kyp, if this is a bad time, I can leave," I said.

"No!" he said immediately. "No, don't go. I'd like to see you. Besides, Li'andra was just leaving."

Yay!! Point for me! She defeatedly slid her arm from his and straightened her skirts. "Yes, I must be going. It was nice to meet you, Jaina," she said through gritted teeth. Then she turned to Kyp. "And I'll be seeing you soon, Kyp dear. My offer is still on the table." She reached over and kissed his cheek seductively before offering me a phony grin and walking down the hall.

"Well," I said turning to look at him, "that was interesting."

Kyp chuckled and shrugged. "Yeah, Li'andra's one of a kind."

I didn't want to think about what he meant by that, and luckily didn't have time to because he quickly ushered me into his office, a warm hand on the small of my back urging me forward. "Hold all my calls, Mikel," he instructed his aide. Then he shut the door behind us and led me to a sofa. "Have a seat," he said. I did and he sat down right next to me, our knees nearly touching but not quite. A few seconds of gazing around the office assured me that he hadn't changed too much. It was decorated simply, nothing fancy or elaborate, but all of the furnishings and colors were very bold and masculine...just like Kyp.

"I still can't believe you're here," he declared again staring at me with a huge grin.

"Me neither, but...here I am," I said lamely. "Your office is lovely."

"Ah, lovely...just the look I was going for," he teased.

"Stop it! You know what I meant," I scolded playfully. "It's very...you."

He sighed and took a look around. "I spend a lot of time here, so I decided to do it up right. This sofa even turns into a bed for those nights when I don't make it home," he added with a pat on the cushion between us.

My eyebrows perked up. Did any of those nights include a certain busty blonde? I bit back a growl at the mere thought and quickly stood back up. His expression was one of confusion.

"Um, so how have you been?" I asked, starting a tour around his office, nonchalantly searching for clues to his relationship with this Li'andra person. I don't know what I expected to find, but it eased my anxiety if I was up moving around.

Kyp watched me from his perch on the couch, and I glanced back at him every few seconds just to make sure he was still there and not just a vision that would soon disappear. I'd been imagining how this day would play out for weeks now, ever since Uncle Luke sent for me. When I realized I would have the chance to see Kyp again and make amends for being such a crummy friend, I started rehearsing how our meeting would go. Which, in retrospect, was a huge waste of time since Miss Lady Li'andra had already ruined things by not playing by the rules. Sithspit, she wasn't even in the script!

"I can't complain," he said casually, ever the enigma. "I am surprised to see you. Luke didn't tell me you were coming."

"I asked him not to," I replied. I stopped by his large window that overlooked the huge cityscape of Denon and smiled at him. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

He smiled back and then walked over to join me. "It's a surprise all right...but a good one," he added quickly. A few seconds of awkward silence passed between us, unusual because we had always felt comfortable being together without speaking in the past. I looked out the window again but could feel his eyes studying me intently.

"Jaina, you...you look great," he said quietly, and my heart soared. I had taken a bit of extra time on myself before coming. Apparently it had paid off. And I knew that I was fairly easy on the eyes...not a ravishing beauty, but lucky enough to be passable as attractive. I kept my body in shape and knew that it had filled out as I came into womanhood. Those extra 'peacetime pounds', as I called them, had all settled into the right places, rounding me out quite nicely. I wasn't a little girl anymore—that was for sure.

"You do too," I said feeling brave. "And I love the hair," I added, reaching up to touch the edge that hung just above his collar.

He blushed again. "Yeah, well, I figured it was time to make myself a bit more respectable looking now that I'm on the council. It was difficult to part with those extra inches, though. They'd been with me for a long time."

We both laughed and then came the silence again. And again, Kyp broke it. "Hey, are you hungry? I was just going to get dinner. Would you like to come with me? My treat."

My script was back on track.

"Sure. I'd love to."
Dinner was excellent.

He took me to a wonderful little Corellian place...great food, relaxing music, even candlelight. We talked about what we had each been doing since the war and inevitably the conversation turned to the past.

He turned pensive and stared into his glass at the swirling contents. "Do you remember the last time we had dinner together?" he asked, and I cringed. Force yes, I remembered. I was just hoping that he wouldn't.

"Yeah," I said softly. "It was the last time I saw you."

"That's right. And if I remember correctly, you ditched me to go off with Fel. How is he, by the way? Are you two married yet?" Ah--- there was the arrogant Kyp I knew.

"No, we're not married," I explained, "and I don't know how he is. I haven't seen him for almost a year." The pain of that failed relationship had faded to a dull ache by this time, but the reminder still managed to sober me instantly.

Kyp set his glass down and leaned his elbows on the table. "Sorry, Jaina," he said. "I should have been more tactful."

"No, it's okay really," I assured him. "It was bound to happen. Those long distance relationships don't ever work out. And Jag didn't really want me...at least not the way I am."

"I always knew he wasn't good enough for you," Kyp added with a wink, trying to lighten the mood. And it worked.

"What about you?" I countered. "You're not secretly married, are you? What about Lady Li'andra?" I asked, annunciating her name with the same irritating accent she used. I sounded like I was teasing, but my ulterior motive was to get to the bottom of this woman's place in Kyp's life. She was clearly interested in him. Now I just needed to know how much of that interest was returned.

He chuckled, took another sip of his drink, and looked back up. "Me, married? You know better than that, Goddess." The mention of my old nickname made my stomach flutter when it came from him. I felt my pulse quicken and hoped he didn't notice. "No, Li'andra is a good friend." At this, I snorted irreverently and he stared at me with a knowing smirk. "Jealous?"

"You wish," I answered, when what I really meant was 'Hell, yes!'

"That's what I thought," he muttered. "She's really not so bad." We were back to her again. Oh, joy. My turn to drink.

"She seems rather...fond of you," I ventured.

At this he laughed out loud, that deep, rumbling masculine laugh that was rare coming from him, and ran a hand back through his dark hair. "Yes...that's one way to put it." Another vague comment. The agony was killing me! I had to change the subject.

"I'm glad I caught you at your office," I admitted. "I really wanted to get a chance to talk to you and...apologize."

He was curious now. I could tell by the look on his face. "Apologize? For what?" he asked.

Here was my chance...my opportunity to mend our friendship, which was only my first goal. I had a whole list.

"For ditching you that night, as you so plainly put it. And for not seeing you again for so long. It was very wrong of me to let so much time pass without seeking you out."

Kyp was truly surprised. "That's okay. You don't owe me anything, Jaina," he said reaching across the table and taking my small hand in his large one.

I nodded my head vehemently. "Yes, Kyp. Yes, I do owe you something, starting with my life—several times over. You did so much for me...after Anakin died and then all during the war. You were always there right by my side even when I was too obnoxious with my little goddess self."

He laughed and squeezed my hand. "You could get pretty annoying, if I remember correctly. But what I did wasn't anything any other friend wouldn't have done."

"You're wrong. You're the only one who made the effort. And I was an unappreciative jerk. You deserved to be treated better, and I...I hope you'll forgive me and be my friend again." There. It was out, and I sighed in relief. Now to wait for his response.

He pulled his hand from mine and leaned back in his chair. "Wow. I wasn't expecting an apology for something that happened so long ago. Jaina, I don't hold any of that against you. It was a tough time. You were still a kid and I was just this older guy that helped you out every once in a while. I didn't expect anything in return."

"Well, you deserved more, and I am so sorry." I reached out my hand again and he accepted the invitation, placing his back in mine. Our eyes locked and I turned bold. "And, Kyp?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled.

"I'm not a kid anymore."

TBC...