Chapter 3

The chance of a lifetime.

That's what Uncle Luke and the rest of the Jedi Council was offering me. I still remembered sharing my secret goal with Jag at the end of the war. He had been slightly surprised to find that my ambitions ultimately lay beyond the military realm, but he was no more surprised than I was myself. If anyone had told me when I was younger that my fate was to lie along a similar path as my diplomatic mother, I would have laughed in his face. For so many years I had tried to be as unlike Leia Organa Solo as possible. But then I grew up, and maturity showed me what an amazing woman she was both personally and politically. So wanting to delve into the complex world of diplomacy was simply and irrefutably in my blood.

I couldn't deny it...and I couldn't deny the thrill of knowing Kyp would be right there with me the whole way. We were great together.

The rest of the Council meeting was a blur, my mind racing with this new chapter opening unexpectedly in my life. Several times, Kyp glanced at me and smiled, sending congratulations to me via our long lost Force bond.

Good job, Jaina. I'm proud of you.

Thanks, Kyp, I sent back. But what about you, Mr. Head of the Council?

It was as if I could feel him blush through our meld...feel the self-doubt plaguing him as he struggled to comprehend why he had been chosen to replace Uncle Luke.

Don't, Kyp, I assured him, reaching out to grab his strong hand. You do deserve it. You'll be great.

He shot back a grateful smile that made me feel like I wanted to hug him again, but I needed to take it slow. Although I was certain of my feelings now, I was still unsure if he felt the same about me or how serious his relationship with this other woman was. In the past, the two of us had always skirted around the issue of anything more than friendship. Kyp had thrown a couple of hints that he might be interested, but like a gentleman, he had never acted on that interest. He was polite enough to step back and let Jag play that game. Maybe he felt too old.

I once thought that, too, but now that I was a woman, age didn't seem to matter.

I had always tried to ignore any indication I might feel something more for him, including those stomach flutters I used to get whenever he was around. They started when I was still a teenager and hadn't really ever stopped. Hence, the warm mushiness I was experiencing at the sight of his friendly smile.

I loved Kyp's smile...maybe because it was so rare and I was secretly pleased I was one of the only people who got the privilege of being on the receiving end of such a scarcity. My dad was another person who could make Kyp smile. To some degree, Kyp reminded me of Dad. He was a bit aloof and hard to get close to, but if you were lucky enough to break through all those barriers, you'd have a friend for life...someone who would stick by you no matter what. And that's exactly what Kyp had done for me.

I sneaked another look at his familiar profile while he listened intently as Cilghal read a report on the state of refugee camps in the Duros system. Kyp wasn't pretty. His face had a few laugh lines around his eyes and his nose was a tad bit crooked. His hair was always a little unkempt, those thick waves as untamed as the man whose head they graced. There was this one crazy piece that would flop down in his eyes. I remembered watching him fight with it on many occasions, threatening, in vain, to cut it off and pushing it back with an irritated huff.

Compared to many other men, he wasn't anything out of the ordinary...not holovid star material. He wasn't too short or too tall, but somewhere between Dad and Uncle Luke. His build wasn't too lanky or too muscled...but just right. Fashionwise, Kyp was no Ganner Rhysode, but his clothes always looked clean, neat, simple, and in no way flashy. Even though his past behavior seemed to contradict it, Kyp was in essence a rather modest man.

He was beautiful.

And I was a fool for wasting so many years. How could I not have seen how right for me he was? Oh, well... I couldn't change the past, but I could definitely shape the future.

The meeting finally ended and the members were slowly making their way over to congratulate both Kyp and me. I laughed to myself because it reminded me of a wedding I attended once where the bride and groom stood and shook the hands of every guest. The similarity was amusing.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked, catching me off guard.

I stared back speechless for a second before responding. "Oh, nothing. This just all seems so unreal."

"You're telling me! I sure wasn't expecting anything like this today."

Everyone else was gone from the room except for Uncle Luke who was gathering up his datapad. My happiness in gaining a seat on the Council was bubbling over and I needed to release it.

"Kyp, let's go celebrate," I suggested with a huge smile as I grabbed his hand. "My treat this time. We'll do dinner, maybe some dancing... what do you say?"

I could just imagine us...another cozy dinner for two, maybe a nice evening stroll in the moonlight, some close slow dancing. And then I could tell him about my feelings for him---one of my other goals for this trip to be checked off the list.

"I can't."

The words at first didn't register. He must have noticed the confused look on my face because he repeated them.

"I can't go with you, Jaina. I have other plans tonight."

My mouth moved but nothing came out. I let his hand go and looked away. "Oh...well...okay," I finally muttered, feeling a big lump form in my throat.

"I'm sorry. I'd really love to go, but I made these plans with Li'andra weeks ago and I can't break them."

I felt my nose flare again. "Oh," I said with a hint of disgust. Could he tell how irritated I was? I hoped so.

Kyp grabbed my hand back and tried to get me to look at him. "Hey, how about we go tomorrow night? I'm free then. We can have that dinner and I'll even force myself to do some dancing, if you won't be too embarrassed."

I looked up at his hopeful face and a small part of me wanted to tell him no just for spite. How dare he not jump at the chance to go with me instead of her! How dare he think I'd want to take a back seat to some prissy tramp! How dare he break my heart over her! We had a history together. They had--- well, I didn't know what they had.

And that was the problem.

"Sure," I said defeatedly. "That would be fine. Tomorrow night."

He squeezed my hand and offered me one last smile. "Super! I'd better get going so I'm not late. Li hates to be kept waiting. I'll see you bright and early in the morning so you can start learning the ropes. See ya, Jaina!"

Then he was gone and I was left staring after him like some lovesick fool.

A hand on my back startled me and I turned to see Uncle Luke smiling kindly.

"Mara told me I'd better bring you home for dinner tonight. If you don't come, I might have to sleep on the couch." He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a comforting squeeze. "What do you say? Will you come?"

"Sure, Uncle Luke. I'd hate to make Aunt Mara mad. It's kind of scary."

Uncle Luke chuckled. "You said it...not me!"

"So, Jaina, were you surprised?" Aunt Mara asked over dinner. The four of us—me, Uncle Luke, Mara and Ben—were seated comfortably around their dinner table in the modest living quarters provided for them by the Galactic Alliance. I wasn't paying attention and her question caught me off guard. My mind had inadvertently drifted yet again to thoughts of Kyp and his date with Li'andra. As much as I tried not to think about what they could possibly be doing, the vision of them together refused to leave me be.

Kyp having another woman around had definitely not been in my plans.

"Um, surprised?" I repeated, trying to hide the fact I had no idea what Mara was referring to. She chuckled knowingly and leaned back in her chair to study me carefully.

"Yes, surprised," she said teasingly. "Or did you already guess why your uncle asked you to come to Denon?"

Oh---she meant the Council meeting.

"Yeah, I was very surprised," I answered quickly, "but happy."

Uncle Luke joined in. "It shouldn't have been too unexpected, Jaina. Leia told me about the diplomatic training she's been giving you whenever you're home. Your mother's very impressed a pleased that you've taken an interest in her line of work."

His twinkling blue eyes and the vote of confidence from my mother bolstered my flagging ego. "Thanks, Uncle Luke," I replied. "I used to think when I was young that Mom's job was so boring, but after experiencing the war and its aftermath of total political chaos, I'd say it's not a job for the faint of heart," I laughed. "Mom's done some consulting work for Cal Omas, as you know, and she let me go with her several times to see how it's done. I'm just anxious to get started with my new position on the Council. It's what I've been working toward since the end of the war, even though I didn't think it would happen quite so soon."

Uncle Luke reached over and patted my hand. "You'll do just fine, Jaina," he assured me. He pulled his hand away and started cutting another piece of his nerf steak.

"I think Kyp was even more surprised than me," I declared as I swallowed down the last of my blue milk, a staple in the Skywalker home.

"Kyp is cool!" Ben chimed in from his spot across from me, his mouth full of half-chewed food. I snorted in shock and glanced at Aunt Mara who simply rolled her eyes in defeat as I bit back a chuckle. Ben noticed the look on his mother's face and apologized. "Sorry, Mom. I mean, Master Durron is cool. Jaina, did you really fly with him and beat all those Vong with shadow bombs?" he asked excitedly.

I looked once again at Aunt Mara, wondering how I should answer Ben. Her dislike of Kyp was legendary, and the fact that Ben was obviously enthralled by him was yet another surprise. She answered my unspoken question with another roll of her eyes.

"So you like Master Durron, eh?" I finally said.

He nodded exaggeratedly. "Yeah, man! He rocks! He even let me fly in his cool ship once!"

"He did?" I replied slightly stunned that Aunt Mara would allow such a thing to happen.

She quickly explained. "I wasn't around that day. Your uncle let him go---said it would be good for him...and Kyp," she snorted.

"And it was," Uncle Luke interjected, "for both of them." That was Uncle Luke...always the optimist. He went on to elaborate. "Jaina, you of all people know Kyp has a tendency to distance himself from most others. A lot of that stems from his past, I'm sure. For a while he had you to keep him connected, but once you left..." He stopped and looked away, thinking he had said too much.

The lull in the conversation provided me with my chance.

"What about this woman?---this Li'andra person? Doesn't she keep him 'connected'?" I asked, trying desperately to sound indifferent.

Mara smirked and sneaked a glance at Uncle Luke. "Ah, met her already, have you?"

Uncle Luke stifled a smile, too, and avoided my questioning gaze.

"Yes, I have...unfortunately," I muttered, popping the crust of remaining bread into my mouth. "She was at his office yesterday when I went to see him."

I heard Aunt Mara chuckle under her breath and Uncle Luke shot her a warning glare. "She's harmless enough, Jaina," he began, "but I'm not so sure she cares too much about his...'emotional' well-being."

Now Mara didn't even try to hide her amusement but laughed out loud. I had to know why. "What's so funny?" I asked, still trying to sound like I didn't really care.

Mara and Uncle Luke shared a secretive look yet again before Mara turned to Ben and said, "Ben, honey, please go get us some more milk, will you?"

Ben looked at me, then his father, and finally his mother before exclaiming, "You're going to talk about grown-up stuff now, aren't you? Stuff I'm not supposed to know about. But Uncle Han already told me all about females a long time ago," he stated triumphantly.

The grin was instantly wiped off Mara's face and reappeared as quickly on Uncle Luke's. Meanwhile, I tried to imagine what in creation my father might have told an eight year old about relationships between men and women—this being the same man whose every response to any such inquiry my brothers and I ever had was "Go ask your mother."

"Ben," Luke cautioned his young son firmly.

"Okay, okay! I'm going!" he conceded, jumping up from the table and tromping into the kitchen.

"I'm going to kill your father," Aunt Mara told me. "My son is drawn to every rogue and scoundrel between here and the Unknown Regions."

"Like father, like son," Luke teased.

"Can it, Farmboy," she responded playfully. Then she turned back to me. "Now, about Li'andra S'ynclair."

I perked up in my seat and asked, "About her...are she and Kyp...close?"

Mara pursed her lips and contemplated an answer. "I'm not really sure how to describe their relationship. I know that he helped track down the man who killed her husband and about a year or so later, they started showing up at public functions together."

I frowned. That was no more than I already knew, but, luckily, Uncle Luke continued the story.

"At first, Kyp was more of a bodyguard for her since there was worry that she might be targeted, as well. It made sense for someone already acquainted with the case to help her out."

Mara laughed again, the sound assuring me that there was more to it than Uncle Luke was sharing. "Oh, please! Tell the truth, Skywalker. That woman practically begged you to assign Kyp as her bodyguard."

My eyes popped in sincere interest. "She begged for Kyp?"

"Li'andra S'ynclair is interested in one thing and one thing only---herself," Mara revealed in disgust. "Her marriage to the senator was just another step up on the ladder of status and power for her. It sure as hell wasn't a love match. He was over twice her age. After she found out who the lead investigator was in his murder—Kyp Durron...famous war hero, Master Jedi, member of the Jedi Council--- she didn't even wait for her late husband to turn cold in the ground before she set her sights on Kyp."

Whoa.

Luke sighed. "Now, Mara, she's not all that bad," he countered, as usual trying to give someone the benefit of a doubt. Both Aunt Mara and I snorted loudly in disbelief simultaneously. "No, really," he tried to persuade. "I know it seems like she's using Kyp, but I think she does care about him...in her own way. And at least she keeps him from being too lonely."

Lonely. What a horrible word.

Then it hit me. Kyp was lonely and had turned to this only available option—a power hungry status seeker who only wanted him for the position he held. Is this what he felt forced to accept? Instead of looking for someone who honestly cared about him, he had settled...for her. He couldn't possibly be happy with her and surely saw her for what she really was...didn't he? I shuddered at the thought of them together---her taking and taking from him until he was sucked dry with nothing left to give. And that's how Kyp was when he cared about you. He gave and gave and gave while others were content to simply do the taking.

I knew because once upon a time one of those 'others' doing the taking had been me.

But no more. It was time to do some giving.