Hey, it's me again. I wanted to do a homage to all fanfiction writers and thier ideas but of course, I'm too sarcastic too do a serious fic.

A LETTER TO THE FANS FROM HIMURA KENSHIN

Dear Fans,

I was so suprised to learn that my friends and I had a fan club. To start it off, a very interesting lady whisked me off to the future where I learned of technology and the internet. Granted, it took me a day to decide that this wasn't a dream because I had eaten Kenji's cooking (I'm telling you, that's the only thing worst than Kaoru's cooking. But don't tell them that). Anyway, I recently spent the last week reading about the life of myself and my friends. I just found out that I'm going to die a very unpleasant death due to a disease and give it to Kaoru. The lady who brought me here says my mind will forget any memory of this but it is still very sad to know my wife will die because of me, again. And ORO! What have I done to deserve the stories you write about me. And some of the things fangirls want to do to me are pretty scary. Handcuffsand chains, even Aoshi would be afraid of you women.

First off, let me tell you, I DO NOT have a SPLIT PERSONALITY. I don't hear voices in my head that encouraged me to seduce Kaoru. I do not have a voice in my head that encourages me to kill Saitoh. I won't need a voice in my head to do that. Battousai is not my split personality, it's a nickname for me during the war. Please, stop doing that. You make me seem like some insane person. I have had my share of problems but I'm not going on a killing spree and blaming it on Battousai.

Secondly, I'm NOT gay. Because I used to wear a magneta gi that my wife threw out after our marriage doesn't make me gay. I do not like Sano as anything more than my best friend. And I definitely don't like Saitoh as a lover. That is disgusting and revolting. I've married twice! Twice, people, seriously. I think you can figrue that I'm pretty straight. And no, I am not bi either. I like women, leave it at that.

Third, please stop giving my wife to my enemies. I have buried my hatchets with Sano, Aoshi, Soujiro and Enishi but I would like to keep my wife to myself. For goodness sake, I have a son with her. Kaoru is MY wife, leave it at that. I on the other hand, belong to my wife. And Tomoe. Otherwise please don't pair me with Misao-dono or Megumi-dono or you will have a very unhappy former rurouni/hitokiri on your hand. And also the Mary-Sues you send after me. What have I done to deserve that. Those cruel and evil women, even this unworthy one doesn't deserve that.

Also, I am pretty confident that if I lived in your future world, I wouldn't be a 'playboy'. What those men do is play with women's hearts and those men are without honor. Also, I am pretty confident that Kaoru was not a spy nor assassin in the past and I do not have any sisters.

Also some of the stories you write of me. So cruel and unpleasant. Like Zig-Zag, ORO, ORO! The Kenshin torture c2. What Have I Done To You? Possibly killed your great-great-great-grand-aunt's neighbour's cousin but that's probably it. The torture you put me through is inhumane.

Thank you all,

Himura Kenshin

P.S - The Gi was MAGNETA not PINK. And only confident men were pink.

I told you I couldn't be serious. It's like against the C. Waves codes.