Chapter 5---
Kyp was really starting to tick me off.
One minute he was kissing me—I mean, Kissing me with a capital K! And then the next, he's pushing me away.
"What—what are you doing, Jaina!" he yelled, raking a hand back through his hair. He looked distraught.
I crossed my arms and huffed. "I thought we were kissing," I replied through gritted teeth. "At least that's what we normal people call it. And if I recall correctly, you were the one who started it!"
He stared at me in disbelief. "Normal! You call yourself normal! You are anything but normal, Jaina Solo. You're vapin' nuts! First you shoot me and haul me onto your ship going who knows where. Then you waltz on in here and, may I remind you, kiss me. Next, you drug my drink; act like you haven't done a thing wrong and then we're kissing…again! That is not normal!"
He paced a few times, breathing heavily and then stopped to glare at me again. I hadn't seen him this upset in ages. It was kind of fun.
"I want to know what's going on and I want to know now. In fact," he quickly moved to block the doorway, "you're not leaving this room until you answer my questions." He spread his legs and stood with his arms crossed in front of his still shirtless chest, daring me to try and leave. I quickly reminded myself that I had planned for such a response and my anger rapidly defused.
"What questions might those be, Kyp?" I replied, trying not to laugh at the bulging vein in his neck. He took a deep breath to calm himself, allowing the Force to take away the edge.
"Where are we going?" he asked calmly.
"You don't need to know--- yet," I answered. The vein twitched again.
Next question.
"How did you get me on board?"
"That one's easy," I said casually. "Lando loaned me a couple of YVH droids he had laying around. Did you know those things could carry weights of up to 500 pounds? Amazing technology, don't you think?"
Now his eye joined in with that pulsating vein. I was pushing this too far, most likely, but I couldn't help myself. I knew he wouldn't really hurt me, at least not physically.
"Very funny, Jaina," he snapped. "This time I want a real answer."
"Fire away, Master Durron."
He just shook his head and sighed, letting his hands drop to his sides. "All right… why did you do all of this to kidnap me? Couldn't you just have asked me to come with you?"
The fun was gone. He looked and sounded defeated. That's not exactly what I had been aiming for. I took a step forward and he tensed immediately, so I stopped.
"Kyp, I only did all of this to keep you from making a big mistake—the biggest one of your whole life. And with your record that's saying a lot," I added, hoping to ease some of the tension.
It didn't work.
"May I ask what mistake you're talking about?"
Was he really this dense? He seemed sincerely confused.
"Marrying Li'andra--- that mistake."
He shook his head to make sure he heard me correctly. "What! Marrying Li'andra? What the sith are you talking about?"
My confidence began to falter.
"She—she told me you were getting married…at her country house… last night."
Kyp's eyes were wide with astonishment and he was speechless. I took a few steps closer and tried to make him understand what I knew to be right.
"Kyp, she's all wrong for you. You've got to know that. She's only using you," at this, I cringed with revulsion, "and your position on the Council to further her own status. She's mean and selfish and way too prissy to make you truly happy. She doesn't even really know you, not like I do. She's not the type to want a family and kids. Can she even fly? Because you love to fly. And she hasn't been through what we've been through—the war, the Dark Side, years of friendship. I couldn't let you do that to yourself."
A few moments of silence hung in the air between us. I didn't know what else to say. Surely he had to see the truth. I had to make him see it.
A huge grin spread across Kyp's face and then… he laughed… at me.
"You're kidding, right? This is just some joke to make me look like a fool. Who planned this? Your Aunt Mara? I know how she feels about me."
Now I was confused.
"I'm not kidding, Kyp. Li'andra told me last week what you had planned. But I just couldn't let you make that mistake."
He studied me and even gently probed my mind through the Force to assure himself that this was no joke.
"You're serious? You honestly thought I was going to marry Li'andra?" he said. I simply nodded. "She told you we were getting married, and you believed her?" Again, a nod. "Jaina, Li'andra lies all the time."
Relief coursed through my veins. "So, you're not getting married?"
He smiled warmly and put a hand on my shoulder. "No, I'm not getting married. Not to Li'andra and not to anyone."
I did a double take. Did he just say not to anyone?
"What---what do you mean?"
"Jaina, remember I told you that I'm content with my life the way it is. I'm past the time in my life when I can have a wife and kids. I'm too old for that stuff. I accepted that a long time ago. You know that. And even if I weren't too old, I sure as hell wouldn't marry Li'andra. Everything you said about her is true, but she and I have…an understanding. We're companions, but not really anything more. She must have just been having a bit of fun with you. I never would have guessed you were so gullible, Jaina," he finished with a pat on my back.
My heart sunk to the soles of my feet. What an idiot I was! All I wanted to do was run and hide in the cockpit or anywhere away from him. He must have noticed my distress because he put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry about it. It'll be our little secret. All you have to do is turn the ship around and head back home. I'll have a little talk with Li'andra and things will be back to normal."
Back to normal. Just what I wanted. Not quite! He seemed to have forgotten that only moments ago he had been kissing me…and doing so in a way that was outlawed on several systems, I believe. Then just like that, he had blown me off.
Jaina Solo does not get blown off.
I took a deep breath and focused, and before Kyp knew what hit him, I had Force pushed him into the opposite wall. The look of shock on his face as he lay in a heap on the floor was rewarding as I glared down at him in indignant wrath.
"Laugh it up, Durron." I wasn't ready to go back to normal just yet. "My ship, my rules. I'm not going back to Denon." Then I spun around and headed out the door.
I don't even remember walking the corridor back to the cockpit. Must have been the rage seething through my body. I slapped the overhead panel and flopped into my pilot's chair. After a few deep breaths, I began to feel myself calm down as the Force cleansed out some of the anger.
But only some.
Kyp Durron was insufferable.
Turn around and go home so things could get back to normal? If his idea of normal was just being 'friends' while he played around with Lady Li'andra then there was no way I was turning around.
No… sithin'… way.
As my anger subsided, a seed of disappointment began to grow, starting in the pit of my stomach and rapidly enveloping my heart. The kiss…he hadn't even mentioned it. Had even seemed to forget that it even happened all within the span of mere minutes. Was I a total moron? Was I really nuts like he said? Had I wasted the last years fostering a possibility that would never come to pass? Were the last couple of months we'd spent together nothing more to Kyp than friendship?
My mind busily cycled through the last several weeks, at all the hours we had shared working and getting reacquainted. Despite my uneasiness about Li'andra, I had decided to take things slow. Kyp and I had been apart for five years (my fault, I admit), but I figured a few more weeks of waiting before I made my move wouldn't hurt while I assured myself that he indeed was the man I really wanted…the man I'd been fantasizing about for over a year now.
After Jag and I finally called it quits after one of our sporadic interludes, I took some time to adjust to the truly single life. Independence was practically my middle name, so it wasn't a big deal…at first. Then I started noticing things I hadn't bothered to notice before, like how much Mom and Dad really loved each other… I mean 'really' loved each other. Once the war was over and they had time to actually focus only on their marriage, they were like newlyweds again, always flirting, casting longing glances, giggling, touching. Mom said they had never really had much of a chance to just be Mr. and Mrs. Solo in between wars and Imperial warlords, and they were enjoying it. I guess it should have been slightly disturbing to see my parents act like lovesick kids, but I was strangely envious. A part of me felt empty, and every time I'd start to feel that way, Kyp would pop into my mind.
Talk about disturbing.
However, the more I thought about him, the less disturbing the idea of him and me seemed. It wasn't an 'a-ha' moment when I all of a sudden realized it. No, it was a gradual take-over of my mind and heart. I would remember things he had said, stupid jokes he had made or interesting insights he shared with only me. I tried to rationalize it by telling myself that it was only my guilt at having not talked to him, my friend, for so long, that I was only thinking of him so often because I needed to bring closure to our relationship.
Closure?
Not exactly what I wanted now.
I started remembering the way he looked, his dark hair long and sometimes a bit messy. His dark cape given to him by my father that he still wore with pride, flowing behind him as he walked away from me (usually in exasperation). I would recall how he pronounced certain words with a bit of an accent leftover from his youth, how his hands looked so strong holding a cup of stimcaf in the mess hall, how his presence in the Force sometimes took my breath away from its magnitude…
The way he always made my stomach do a little flip every time he turned his intense gaze upon me, the way he would never back down from me but continually challenged me and my beliefs.
He was my match. I knew it.
Even the Force knew it. Almost as soon as I admitted to myself that I needed to contact Kyp, Uncle Luke contacted me and asked that I come to Denon. It was destiny, I tell you. So I willingly and enthusiastically made arrangements, sure that once we saw each other, things would fall perfectly in place. Surely Kyp would agree.
Yeah, well, the Force must have a sense of humor because things didn't go exactly as planned, and right now things didn't seem to be getting any better.
How else could I make him see that we were made for one another? Solos were people of action and single-mindedness. Once we made a decision, it needed to be acted upon immediately. (Well, except for Jacen. He tended to mull things over for a decade or so.) I had been trying for nearly two months, giving him subtle and some not so subtle hints, but he was resisting. He tried to feed me those same tired lines about being too old and uninterested in marriage and family, but I refused to believe he had no interest in me romantically. I could feel it radiating from him even though he tried desperately to keep it reined in.
Case in point, our little flying rendezvous—or should I say… fiasco.
Three weeks had passed since my return to Denon and things were, I thought, progressing between us, albeit too slowly for my liking. With our new positions on the Council we spent a lot of time working together, much to Li'andra's dismay. Their encounters were kept to a bare minimum…and I'll never reveal how that was accomplished.
After finishing all of my initial briefings, I began accompanying him to many meetings and, I have to say, he was amazing to watch. When once he had been outspoken and too abrasive in making his point, now he was an exemplary diplomat, deftly, but firmly, sharing the Council's stance on various issues as they were discussed with other government officials. I could tell by the way the other bureaucrats and politicians responded to him, that Kyp had become a well-respected member of this new republic.
I even remarked on the change one day to which he simply responded, "Time changes things, Jaina. Even me." The enigmatic look he gave me left me contemplating his meaning all afternoon until I couldn't stand it anymore. Three weeks was plenty of time to know that Kyp was indeed the man for me, more now than ever before. Time had only made him better. I was compelled to do something about the way I felt.
As we left the meeting with Cal Omas, an idea sparked in my mind.
"Kyp?" I said sidling up next to him and looping my arm through his.
He glanced down briefly, gradually becoming more used to my newfound penchant for physical contact, and then at me. "Yes?"
"We need to go flying." I grinned at my brilliant idea. Flying together had always been a time for us to share our Force bond. Maybe then he would let his guard down and admit how he really felt.
He smiled, "Flying, huh? And why do we need to do that?"
"Well, as far as I know, you haven't been flying since I've been here, and I've only gone up for a few practice runs. If we don't keep our skills sharp, we'll get rusty and that would be a shame. Especially me, the daughter of Han Solo. He'd be so disappointed."
I could tell by the twinkle in his eyes, that he was interested and it didn't take long for him to give in.
"Disappointing Han is not something I'd ever want to be accused of doing… again, anyway."
"So, you'll go?" I asked anxiously, squeezing his arm.
"Okay," he agreed, "but what are we going to fly? I don't have an X-wing anymore, just my Sekotan ship."
Uh-oh. Hadn't thought of that one.
"We could maybe scrounge a couple up, do you think?" I asked.
"It'll take a few days."
I didn't have a few days. I needed to get this off of my chest today. He seemed to sense my urgency.
"We could just go up together in my ship," he suggested. "I've made a few modifications to her. You could give me your opinion of my craftsmanship." Then he seemed to get a tad uncomfortable and added, "Or not. We don't have to. We can wait to get some X-wings."
"No, no!" I jumped at his first offer. Maybe being on the same ship would be even better. Why hadn't I thought of that? "Your ship would be great! Let me go home and change, and then I'll meet you there. Hey, I'll even bring dinner, how's that?" Oh, this was getting better all the time. Now, he looked a little apprehensive. Was that good or bad?
"You'd better take me up on my offer. It's the closest I get to actually cooking," I added.
He smiled and acquiesced. "Okay, Goddess. How's 0700 sound? I'll send the address of the hangar bay to your apartment's computer."
"Sounds great!" I beamed. I was so close to finally getting what I wanted that I was feeling kind of…saucy. I don't know what possessed me to try and flirt, but I did. I moved directly in front of him and looked up at him from underneath my lashes. "And after dinner, maybe we can have…dessert."
He couldn't believe I'd said it. Sith, I didn't either, but it was done. I had managed to throw another blatantly obvious innuendo directly at him and if he missed this one, well…I wouldn't go down that path.
Kyp stood there speechless for a few seconds and I thought it best that I leave him like that, so I stretched up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye and taking off.
I rushed home, showered, took extra time with my appearance, rushed to pick up something to eat, added a bottle of Corellian brandy, and made it to his ship right on time. He was waiting and seemed a little nervous. Then he saw me, and he suddenly looked a lot nervous… but pleasantly surprised, too.
Maybe it was the way I looked. My outfit wasn't exactly made for flying comfort, and I suppose the shimmery halter showed too much of my skin, but I thought I looked fairly attractive. He must have thought so, too, because he actually whistled as I walked up the ramp to his ship.
"Wow, Solo! You clean up nice! Do you have a hot date or something?" he asked as he took the bag with our dinner from my hand.
"Maybe," I said in my best seductress voice. His eyes locked with mine for just a second before he cleared his throat and continued up the ramp.
"Do you want to eat or fly first?" he asked.
"I'm pretty hungry. You'd better feed me first," I answered, catching a whiff of his clean scent wafting behind him. Apparently, he had cleaned up a bit, too. Another good sign.
Kyp looked at me over his shoulder and grinned. "Yeah, I know how grumpy you can get on an empty stomach. And it is not a pleasant sight."
He was teasing me, and I loved it. "Hey, watch it, Durron! They don't call me 'Sword of the Jedi' for nothing." He winked at me and chuckled before continuing on through the small corridor.
It had been awhile since I'd been in his Sekotan ship and I studied it closely as he led the way inside. This 'technology', if you could call it that, was still amazing to me. The way something alive could adapt itself so specifically for a given task, forming such a link to its pilot continued to be a mystery I wasn't sure I'd ever understand. Kyp caught me running my fingers across the smooth, pulsating walls, staring in silent wonder. I had stopped and didn't even realize it until Kyp's voice sounded right in my ear. His warm breath tickled.
"You're not jealous, are you?" he asked playfully.
I jerked my head around to look at him. Did he know how I felt about Li'andra? "Jealous?"
He looked at me curiously and explained. "Well, I remember how upset you were when no seed pods attached to you on Zonama Sekot. You're not going to knock me out and take my ship, are you?" He smiled and cocked a dark eyebrow. Force, was he handsome! How had I missed it for so long?
I chuckled and shook my head, then stopped and acted like I was actually considering his idea. "Hmmm…" I mumbled, delighted to see the brief look of distress flash across his face. He knew more than anyone what I was capable of if I put my mind to it. "No. I wouldn't do that to you Kyp," I finally conceded, but then paused dramatically, "at least, not for your ship."
I shot him the old Solo grin and he laughed. "Jaina, sometimes I wonder what is going on in that head of yours, and it frightens me."
Me, too, I thought to myself. Ever since Kyp and I had been around each other again, I wasn't acting like the old Jaina. In fact, the old Jaina of a few years ago would have scoffed at anyone who even dared suggest that I would be chasing after Kyp Durron, perhaps even have relieved them of the very tongue that spoke those blasphemous words. But after plenty of time of reflection on my life, the fact that I needed and wanted Kyp could no longer be denied.
I was lost.
Or in love.
Was there a difference?
At the end of the corridor was a small area, which I assumed was where we would eat. A round table with a bench wrapped around it sat in the middle. A few cushions were tossed around, which he quickly returned to their proper places. The walls—which were alive, I reminded myself—were emitting a pale pink luminescence that made it seem very warm and cozy…quite conducive to my present inclinations.
Ah, sweet destiny!
"This is nice," I remarked as he motioned for me to take a seat. "Good thing I brought the brandy. Now all we need is some romantic music in the background."
Kyp looked at me funny, and I think I even saw a hint of pink creeping up his neck onto his cheeks. "Yeah, right. Us..romantic!" he laughed. Then he pointed at the bottle in my hand. "Are you even old enough to drink that stuff?" he asked, quickly recovering from any embarrassment he'd felt.
Old enough! Why did he insist on seeing me as that teenager from the past? Force, was he stubborn! And it was starting to upset me.
"Oh, I'm old enough," I remarked, my chin thrust arrogantly into the air. "The question is, can you handle me?" My dark eyes stared right into his and a spark ignited between us, neither of us looking away. I could feel it as much I could the seat beneath me. It was real…palpable…as alive as the ship surrounding us.
After a few seconds of heated silence, I decided to press onward. Kyp still wasn't sure how to take this new Jaina, I could tell, but that was the best time to strike, so to speak. I held up the bottle between us. "Ready to give it a try?"
I scooted a little closer to him and he just kept staring at me. "You're…different, Jaina," he said softly, the confusion on his face starting to clear as he took the bottle from me and sat it on the table. My heart was pounding, my body temperature rising rapidly.
"Time changes things, Kyp. Even me," I replied, repeating his words from earlier that day.
Now was the time. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to kiss me, and I wanted him to do it. Should I say something else? Should I move closer…make the first move? I could never claim to be an expert on men and romance. My experience had been pretty limited.
Then the choice was taken from me. He shook free of my spell and started going through the bag of food I had brought. I waited too long. My heart fell to the floor and I tried not to let him see my disappointed pout.
"So, what did you bring to eat?" he said, his lame attempt at changing the subject infuriating me more with each passing moment. But perhaps he had forgotten that an irritated Jaina was an even more determined Jaina. He wanted to play this game, eh? Well, all right then. I would play.
Because Jaina Solo didn't lose.