So, yeah, I lost that round against Li'andra—but only because I refused to fight. Oh, I was tempted…tempted to wipe that smug grin off of her face with the heel of my shoe or maybe separate her from Kyp's side using my lightsaber. However, my reacting like that former, more impulsive Jaina might not have done much to help matters.
Not that they were all that great now.
Anyway, seeing her standing there so possessive and triumphant, and seeing Kyp standing there in confusion was suddenly more than I could bear. I paused to give him a chance to send her away, to declare his decision to stay with me. After all, hadn't we just shared a special moment back on board his ship?
Only he didn't make a grand declaration of his devotion to me. Instead, he just stood there like an idiot, not knowing whom to choose. Like there was any comparison between us! Please! Well, sure, she was blatantly gorgeous in an obvious 'look at me, world' kind of way… filthy, stinking rich…and increasingly powerful in the world of galactic politics.
But the real question was this—despite what everyone else thought of her, was she better in Kyp's eyes than me? Unfortunately, I didn't know the answer to that right then, and, for the first time, I felt completely inadequate.
It wasn't a good feeling.
So I decided my best course of action was to retreat and regroup. Figuring out my next move, or if there should even be a next move, was essential. My unexpectedly fragile pride sucked it up and left him there with the other woman--- and my brandy.
Yeah, I know…I should have taken that with me.
My mind came back to the present. Checking the navigation controls, I noted that we would soon be exiting hyperspace near my intended destination. What seemed so logical a week ago suddenly seemed foolish and ill-conceived---doomed to failure.
Kyp wasn't cooperating, and that little snafu wasn't part of my plan.
A frustrating pattern was developing. When we would start to get close, close enough that I felt I could reveal my feelings to him, then--- BAM!—he would pull away and act like it never happened. After that last kiss back in my cabin I thought for certain that it was all coming together. The way he looked at me made my heart flutter; his hand on my face was so warm and gentle; and his lips…sigh…. Let's just say, the man could kiss! I raised my fingers to my mouth and touched my lips, imagining I could still feel his mouth on mine. It had felt so right. It was right, and I knew it down to the depths of my soul. Surely Kyp did, too. So why did he keep resisting?
He wasn't making much sense lately, anyway. After than night on his ship, the night Li'andra gave me good reason to truly hate her, things got…weird. It was as if Kyp did a 180 in his attitude toward me. Oh, he was still polite and respectful to me, but any closeness we had shared was suddenly…gone. He avoided me at work by assigning me to tasks and meetings completely different from his. Apart from seeing him come in and out of the offices periodically, I went weeks with barely any interaction, our new schedules totally at odds with one another.
Outside of Council duties wasn't any better. He always managed to have plans of some sort or another, many including my arch-nemesis. What in the world had happened that night after I left him alone with her at his ship? Had they shared a good laugh at how foolish I had been coming there hoping to seduce him? Why had he suddenly changed into a Kyp I didn't know or understand?
Those questions ate at me day after day, the uncertainty nearly driving me insane. Once upon a time, I thought Kyp had tender feelings for me, ones that could even maybe turn into love. Even that very night on his ship I could have sworn he was feeling the same way. So, what happened? What had I done wrong?
To be honest, there were a few nights I cried myself to sleep… me… Jaina Solo… daughter of Han and Leia, heroes of the Rebellion…niece of Luke Skywalker, famed Jedi Master… Sword of the Jedi… Trickster Goddess of the Yuuzhan Vong War. What the hell was wrong with me! Why was I losing it over Kyp Durron? He wasn't so special.
Who was I kidding? No one, that's who. Not even me.
So one morning, after too many weeks of being ignored and living in defeat, I woke up and decided that I had cried enough tears. I was Jaina-freakin'-Solo, for Force sakes! It was time for action. As soon as I got to the office, Kyp and I were going to have a nice little talk whether it was on his schedule or not.
The decision to act freed me… bolstered my confidence back up to where it usually was.
Li'andra who?
I strode into the office waiting area, my chin up, a smile on my face. Mikel was already there, as always. He had become my assistant, too, until I could find someone else. I nodded at him as I said good morning.
"Good morning, Mikel," I said confidently. "I'll be in Kyp's office for a while. Please hold all of our calls and don't let anyone interrupt."
He had this strange, uncomfortable look on his face. "Are you okay?" I asked, narrowing my gaze.
"Um, I'm fine, Miss Solo, but, um, Master Durron isn't in yet—" he stuttered nervously.
"Oh, that's okay. I'll just wait for him in his office." No way was I letting this opportunity slip away. I started for his door, but Mikel's next words stopped me dead in my tracks.
"Um, you have a…visitor waiting for you in your office, Miss Solo."
I turned and raised an eyebrow. "A visitor?"
He nodded and I thought I noticed a hint of fear in his eyes. Just then, my office door slid open to reveal my special guest.
"Good morning, Jaina. We need to talk."
A scowl automatically curled my lip and I felt my hackles rise. There in front of me was my enemy, so to speak. My hand instinctively went for my lightsaber, but luckily, I stopped myself before unclipping it. During the war, life was much simpler. Come face to face with your enemy and you'd better be quicker on the draw than him. This type of foe was much more deadly. I was going to have to use my wits, Force help me.
"Li'andra," I stated contemptuously, pushing past her into my office. "I don't think we have anything to talk about." I busied myself at my desk hoping she would get the hint and leave. If she was still here when Kyp showed up, my plan to confront him would be ruined…again.
She was evil.
I heard her sneer and I took a deep, calming breath. "Oh, but I think we do, dear." Then she pushed the button to close my door. I simply stared at her in disbelief as she sauntered back over to my desk. "May I sit down?" she said in that syrupy sweet voice of hers. I gestured for her to take a seat on the other side of the desk and then eased slowly into mine. She waited for me to settle in and then placed her hands in her lap, smiling that oversized phony grin of hers.
I sighed and leaned my elbows on the top of the desk. "What did you want to talk about? I have other… things to attend to. Unlike some people, I actually work for a living."
She chuckled derisively. "Poor you. I just thought it was time for us to get to know one another better."
"Why?" I asked with a snort. Then I glared at her to make my meaning clear. "Li'andra, let's be serious for a moment. I quite honestly don't care to know you any better than I already do, and I'm willing to bet that you feel the same way. You're not here to make friends with me, so say what it is you have to say and then get out."
Whoa! Where had that come from? I think I was channeling my father there for a minute. Mom would have been much more diplomatic, but I didn't have time for diplomacy. Besides, I wasn't quite sure I was as skilled at it as Li'andra or my mother, so I figured I would play things the way most comfortable for me…head on.
By the look on her face, she hadn't been expecting such forthrightness. What a shame.
"Well," she stammered, "I…suppose you're right." It must have hurt for her to admit that.
Good.
"All right then. Let me get right to my point."
"Please do," I interjected, receiving a sharp glare in response.
"Jaina, darling, you need to give up this silly pursuit of Kyp. It's pointless and is making you look quite the fool."
I felt my nostrils flare as I clenched my jaw together tightly. I didn't trust myself to speak, much less move, so I stayed silent. She, on the other hand, kept right on talking.
"I know that you were relatively close during the war. Kyp told me about you, how you worked together, how he helped you through a bad time, looked after you like a…a little sister. You were quite young, right? I also know that he feels very obligated to your father and that looking out for you falls into that same category in his mind.
"But, Jaina, sweetheart, you're a big girl now. You don't need to be looked after anymore. Unfortunately, Kyp doesn't see that. He still sees you as that young girl he mentored and protected, and feels that with you back in his life, he needs to resume that role.
"Kyp and I have become, as I'm sure you know, very close over the past few years. Our relationship has evolved over time to something different than originally intended. I find that I am quite fond of him, more so than I ever expected, and the thought of not having him in my life is simply…unbearable.
"Since your arrival here, matters have been strained between Kyp and me. He's been spending so much time making sure you are comfortable and attended to, that our relationship has suffered."
At this she paused and glared menacingly at me.
"That is unacceptable."
Well, well, well. The girl definitely had some nerve. I was sort of impressed…or would have been had I not been so steamed. But after taking a second to think about what she was saying, I found I couldn't stifle a smug smirk.
"Feeling threatened?" I asked.
She huffed. "By you? Hardly."
"Not what it sounds like," I said, leaning back into my chair confidently. "Sounds like you're feeling the heat of competition and it's getting too hot for you to handle."
"Competition?" she repeated incredulously. "You are no competition for me, Jaina Solo. Kyp might be oblivious to your true intent towards him, but I'm not. But make no mistake…I am a woman who always gets what she wants."
"Me, too. So now what?" I challenged.
It took her a moment to gather her thoughts. I could tell she really wanted to get back at me, badly.
"Now, you give up. Make it clear that you are only friends and stop muddling his mind. That is, if you really do care for him. How long did it take for you to contact him after the war, exactly? Five months? Oh, no, it was five years, wasn't it?"
Ouch. That hurt.
"Tell me, Jaina, would you even have searched Kyp out if your uncle hadn't summoned you here for the Jedi Council? How long before you're tired of being here, tired of Kyp again?"
I slowly rose from my chair and pointed an accusing finger right at her. Then I spoke in a low enough voice that she would have to listen very closely to hear me.
"You don't know anything about Kyp and me. And if you think you know him better than I do, then you are dead wrong. Your shallow mind couldn't possibly comprehend what we've been through…what we share and always will. And if you think I'm going to just give up and leave him to you, then you have no idea who you're dealing with. We're done talking."
Li'andra was actually speechless for a minute, but she finally stood to face me as I moved from around the desk. I was going to make sure she left…one way or another.
"Well," she huffed arrogantly, "not exactly what I would expect from the daughter of the famed Leia Organa Solo or a member of the Jedi Council."
"Thought I would bend over and take it, did you?" I asked with a sneer. "Sweetheart," I added in my own mockingly kind voice, "I'm a Solo, and Solos don't bend over for anybody."
Dad would be so proud.
Li'andra wrinkled her nose in disgust. "How…crude." Then she turned and started for the door. I was feeling rather victorious, which would make up for the last few weeks of wallowing in self-defeat.
Then she stopped and turned to face me one more time.
"By the way," she started, "Kyp and I are getting married soon. Forgive me if you're not invited to the wedding."
Then she left.