Title: "The Memories"

Author: ewka tal

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine... unfortunately.

Spoilers: "The Woods"

Summary: It seemed to be normal, but this time Lilly felt really bad.

A/N: Hi, it's my first try in Cold Case and first in english - that is not my mother tongue. I had fun, when I was writing this fanfic, so even if you tell me it sucks, I won't regret it :)

Please, read and review, I can't wait for the comments!

Kisses.

Scotty's plans were about to start with something like "Hi, I just wanted to come and see if you're all right", but he wasn't sure what he should do. Standing in front of the door to her apartment, he comprehended that she couldn't be "all right". Not after what happened that day in the Woods, because he knew - something happened. 10 minutes of waiting and thinking was not enough and he decided to ring a bell and pray for her not to throw him out.

Ding - dong!

Nothing happened firstly. There was a silence that he could almost fell on his skin, like a pain on it. So he tried one more time.

Diiing - dooong!

No reaction. Again.

- "Lilly?" - he knocked on the door and started talking to the wooden wall - "I know you're there. I have seen the light. Please, if you hear me now... just open the door."

Scotty didn't want to give up. The fact that Lilly was hiding from him made him even more anxious about her. He needed to see her. It wasn't important how bad the whole situation was. His only thought was to see her, to look into her eyes and read there everything. And to help her, of course. But he was still standing outside with no idea how to get to Lilly.

- "You shouldn't be alone right now. I know it... in practice. Call it another bad time in your life, if you want to, but... open this damn door!"

And then the lock grated and the door opened a little. There was she. Her hair was loosened, eyes swollen by the tears that even at that moment glittered in its corners. She was paler normally - if it's possible. Her jaw shook and she leant herself against the frame like she was afraid that she could fall without it. Her voice sounded differently, not like the one she used everyday saying "Hi, Scotty!". There was all the sorrow that she couldn't hold in her eyes.

- "I don't wanna call this another bad time. Just... end this nightmare..."

- "You want me to hug you, don't you?" - he came in with no asking and embraced her waist, so that she could wrap her arms around his neck.

The door closed quietly and Lilly burried her face between Scotty's head and shoulder. He felt her breathe slowly calming down and brought himself to stroke gently her back.

- "If you tell me everything, I'll help you. Okay? We can end it really soon, it depends on you only." - he whispered.

She didn't disagree, but moved back. It was a moment, when Scotty thought that she could ask him to leave. Some time passed before Lilly said anything. It touched him. Not even her words, no. The most astonishing thing for him was the way she told it. Her voice changed. It was still very sad, so low and mixed with the fear. Unnaturally mild. She didn't cry while saying, but he could swear that he heard tears in her tone. It didn't fit to her.

- "I hear him. All the time. I feel like he's there, sitting next to me and laughing. Laughing at me. - she stopped and tore her eyes from the floor - 'coz I cannot push him away from me. He... stuck in my mind. His words, his face..."

You were so damn good at pretending! Or maybe... maybe I was blind to seeyou as a woman-woman, not woman-homicide officer... - he thought.

- "Let's sit down, okay?" - she nodded and he led her by the hand to the couch, holding it all the time, asked - " So you see George's face, when you close your eyes, is that so?"

This time she shook her head.

- "It's not exactly. I... feel him. His presence haunts me. I know, I know, he's dead, but... I shouldn't feel like that. He ought be just another crime, another cold case to solve."

- "Why is it different this time? Lilly, what happened there?"

She was staring blindly at their plaited hands and thinking for some time.

Finally, she figured out the reason.

- "The memories..." - Lilly seemed to be terrified by this discovery.

- "Whose memories? His or yours? - he saw that she was on the verge of tears again and laid her head on his chest. - "It's okay, Lilly."

- "I had to tell him everything, even though he knew my story. He forced me to do it, said that he was the only one left and I had no choice. It... hurts so much. I thought that I managed to forget it and he just... made it so real again. You don't know what happened to me, do you?"

- "No, I don't." - he felt, she shivered.

- "As 10-years old girl I was... sent to the store for a drink. For my mother, late at night and... there was a man who wanted my money. I gave it to him! I did, but he... he hit me."

Scotty knew it wasn't easy for her to talk about it. All these years were nothing; Lilly looked like a little girl from her story, hit, unhappy and so lost, so alone.

- "I thought, it was my fault. That I did something wrong. My mother was just too drunk or too busy to see that I was afraid to go outside... George called me sold out. I remember every detail of his face, when he said: Sold out. By the person, who loved you most. - she became silent.

Scotty was shocked. He knew something about Lilly's childhood, but it was... only something. She mentioned about it once or twice, by the way. He never thought of it, he was the lucky one and couldn't understand who was that bastard, who attacked and hit a 10-years old girl for some dollars.

- "I'm sorry, Lilly. So sorry..." - he didn't know what to say or do, so just immersed his face in her hair. He noticed that she clutched his hands. - "Everything's gonna be all right."

They stayed still for some time. Scotty didn't know how long. It could be 5 minutes, could be 5 hours. He broke the silence with a question.

- "Do you want to go to sleep?" - the answer surprised him a little.

- "Only if I won't lose the warmth of your body."

He assured this and raised her. They came up to the bed. In that moment Olivia jumped off it.

- "Hi, kitty!" - Scotty greeted.

- "You like mutants?"

- "What do you mean - mutants?"

- "Uh... never mind."

Mutants? One eye for a cat is nor too much, but mutants?

They both lay down on the bed, in opposite to each other. Lilly moved closer to him and

he huged her once again.

- "Do you feel any better?"

- "Yeah..." - she whispered - "But stay here... now."

- "I'm not going anywhere. Sleep good. I'll be here in the morning, I promise."

She believed him like she never did before and he kept his promise.