There was only one reason why I didn't spring back and scream…or, I must confess, two. While many believe that the creature's welfare was the main concern on my mind, I have to admit that this is inaccurate. The reason I didn't do anything to it was because of the mediation session which had ended a mere five seconds before and the calming state of mind I'm usually in as I come out of it. The reason I didn't leap backwards from this terrible apparition before me was simply because I was leaning against the wall of my broken and battered ship and it was the only thing that prevented me from falling. Truth be told, I couldn't move, whether or not I ever wished to. But this did not matter at the time, as the creature shrieked loud enough for the pair of us and leapt back swiftly.

We stared. Neither spoke. He looked away first, the beginning of many victories for me, though at the time I did not know this. His uncertain and scared glances gave me the opportunity to examine his features carefully. If I were to describe him in one word, that word would have to be…green. Very, very green. Everything about him was this colour. His hair, his skin…everything but his outfit, a black and purple combination which disappeared as he suddenly grew into some form of animal. I could not identify the creature, as my knowledge of this planet was minimal. I did not have a clue where I even was at this point. When I didn't move, the animal became the boy again, his elfish face uncertain, but curious. The silence continued, seeming to kill him so he spoke.

"ARE…YOU…OK?" You could almost see the capital letters on his words as he struggled to make himself understood. But at least, I had an idea where I was. Earth, and an area that spoke English at that. I remained silent, waiting.

"DO…YOU…KNOW…WHAT…I'M…SAYING?" His arms flailed wildly as he tried to mime what he wanted. I never told him, and I never will admit this to anyone, but if I had no experience in keeping control over my emotions, I would have fallen over laughing at the ridiculous spectacle before me, the way my friends so often do. But I'm ahead of myself. I did not know them yet. I wanted to end his misery and agony, but another voice broke the silence.

"Yo, B! Where the heck are you?" The voice sounded annoyed and tough, as if he wouldn't think twice about fighting anybody. This combination is rare, and I should never have been as familiar with it as I was.

"Over here! I found something weird."

I was weird? Well, compared to the green image in front of me I was relatively normal. But I only had the people of Azarath to compare it to. If everyone on this planet was like my 'friend' before me, I was really about to stick out. I nearly fainted when I spotted the giant half-robot that was walking towards me. Whether it was fear or starvation that triggered my light-headedness was uncertain. Personally, I prefer the lack of food part of the story, but I will never admit fear to anyone, but I'm learning to admit it to myself at least.

He merely gave me a passing glance…with the human eye, but the feeling that I was being examined coursed through me, nearly costing me another staring match. I won again, narrowly. He turned to his friend to exchange glances. My only thought at this point was, "Who lives here?" I regretted it once I got to know them, and I hope they may never know how horrified I was at the first glance I had of the planet that I have since come to know, love and regard as the home I never had. That's what makes it so hard to face up to what I'm meant to do. But I cannot tell. Not yet, not now. Somehow, someway I will fight it. But I must keep to the topic before I destroy something dear to me, or millions of strangers. I won't be like Terra! I won't betray a trust!

The half robot spoke to the green one. "Who's this?"

"Don't know. I tried talking to it but I don't think it understands me."

Anger, and mild sympathy, flew to my heart as I struggled to quell the emotions. I glanced up sharply, my sight temporarily hindered by the hood of my cloak. I reached up, lowering it so they could see my face and what I was at least. I hated being referred to as an 'it', like some inanimate object incapable of thought. I was a 'she', a person, or an alien on this planet, who could think and understand what was being said. The green one stared a little once my face was revealed, but seemed to regain his composure relatively quickly, just as I came to a decision.

"Actually, I understood every word you just said so I'd appreciate it if I was not referred to as 'it' like some clock!" My voice was steady, lacking emotion, but to my ears, it still revealed a little of my anxiety.

If the green one had stared before, it was nothing compared to the way his eyes nearly fell out of their sockets as his jaw very nearly hit the ground now. The half robot made a painful grimace that made him look sick or injured, but the muffled snorts that were coming from behind his hand made me realise it was simply stifled laughter. I longed to join him, but I couldn't, not with my powers and certainly not with the current state of my body. It felt as if I were floating and it was getting worse. I had probably gone days without food, maybe even weeks. I'll never know, but now I was paying for it. Nausea and dizziness threatened to consume me as a faint blipping sound could vaguely be heard over the ringing in my ears. A voice from far away asked if I was alright, but I could barely answer. I made to stand, my full weight resting on the wall of my dilapidated ship, mirror safely hidden. The world started spinning sharply, the ground severely unsteady beneath my feet. I wasn't aware of falling. I never knew that someone caught me and carried me. By this point, all I knew was darkness.

Even beings from another planet with healing abilities (however great or small) need time to recuperate after sheer starvation, whether it takes a few days or several weeks. For me, it took two days to wake (according to Cyborg at least. Robin didn't make an appearance for a while and Beastboy…I don't know if his fear lay with me or his half machine friend, but he never disagreed). I had no idea where I was and because my body was severely weakened, I couldn't see the outside of my annoyingly white and terribly clinical looking room. The sheer brightness gave me a headache but Cyborg, who appeared to be in charge of the medical aspects and who I saw the most of, refused to let me leave. My power, at least, remained in control which was (I cannot believe I thought this) unfortunate because if he could have seen what I could do, he wouldn't have subjected me to that terrible room or left me in there. On the other hand, I had plenty of time to understand my powers, to let it grow, to explore what I could do. I could move objects, heal (which I discovered to my own discomfort), create force fields to protect or contain (leaving Cyborg to waste two days examining his circuitry to try and understand why he kept tripping up near me) and, with a lot of practice, I learned to move myself into another, to phase through walls or travel distances and just appear somewhere (which made Beastboy believe he was going mad if he saw my head poking through a wall or similar).

Once my 'nurse' finally gave me permission to walk around the place, I was finally able to see where I was. As I walked towards the door of the room, I was very aware that I had absolutely no idea where I was or who I was with. Cyborg had been my only constant companion during the last two weeks. Beastboy made an appearance once a day to see how I was doing…before running away, as if terrified of me. It hurt, but he was a tad annoying and (I will never EVER tell him this) he was endearing. Sweet, brave and cute. After all, if he was continuously able to return to see someone who petrified him so much, but who always had a small gift with him, there was definitely something there. Yet there was always the illusion I had never met - Robin. The founder of the group which I had yet to discover. His name was spoken with slight awe, the unspoken leader of the group. He never came to see me and I never saw him, no matter how far my 'abilities' took me or where I appeared. Cyborg never told me anything about him, the guy's secrets as closely guarded as my own, but that final day in the room brought a message that Robin wanted to see me. I feared that he would end up being another Trigon, how else could you command such respect? Cyborg said nothing to encourage or discourage me. I couldn't even read his face, it was as guarded as the way I guard my own. He opened the door, waiting as I walked towards him, cloak on, but hood down. We entered a darkened corridor as the door closed behind us with a faint 'hiss'. I was led down one corridor through another…I was instantly lost and a little dizzy. I could make out Knowledge's voice, but the words made no sense. Something about the structure of the building. She was instantly forgotten the moment I entered a wide open space, a kitchen area just across from me. I could sense light, but I never imagined what I'd see when I turned towards it. Sunlight shone across a great city which lay across the dancing water below. The building must have been on some sort of island, but I never had the opportunity to look.

"Welcome to the Tower, Raven."

I resisted the urge to spin and face the speaker, instead taking time to control myself and turn. A shadowed figure stood in the centre of the room in a small indent in the floor. A bright red sofa sat to the right of him, a giant screen lay to his left. I took a few steps towards him, blinking to see his features against the harsh sunlight. The light shifted, temporarily blinding me, before disappearing behind the screen. Spots were dancing before my eyes, finally fading to show the boy before me. A skinny, spiky haired boy in a mask and a costume of black, red, yellow and green. This was the leader? He looked like he could be pushed over with no effort on my part. How could he be the leader of this trio of…who…actually I had no idea what it was they did! I'm sorry Robin, I have never been good at first impressions and when I first met you, you looked like one of these people who just wants power and gets it by lording over weaker individuals.

He looked at me (I think), not saying a word. He didn't move, never spoke. His arm lashed out aiming for my face. I threw a shield in front of me, stopping his arm cold. He lashed out with his leg, kicking punching, missing me by mere inches as I threw up shields to protect myself. My eyes searched wildly round for something, anything to stop him hurting me. A plate sat on the worktop. With half my focus on the madman in front of me, I called the plate to come to me. It hovered above his head, waiting for my order, before dropping and crashing to pieces. He wavered, shaking his head. I swallowed, never removing the shield, unable to believe what he'd done. How could people who had taken such care of me over the last two weeks just turn and try to hurt me? And…why was he smiling? I hoped I hadn't hurt him too much, after all the time I had taken to prevent it.

"Good reflexes." His words were short, but his voice carried an air of authority, as if he knew what he was talking about. He rubbed his head, shaking pieces of china from his hair. "It's good to see you can handle yourself at a moment's notice. And you appear to have control over your powers. I guess all the practice time helped." He smiled as I felt my face heat up. "You may have guessed that I'm Robin," he continued, flicking the last bits of china off his head. "I'm the founder of the as yet unnamed group. It's being worked on right now. You've already met Cyborg and Beastboy."

I nodded, confirming this. But I had to know. "What do you do? And where am I?"

"This," he said, waving his arm to indicate the city outside, " is Jump City. Couple of hundred miles from Gotham and Metropolis either way. The three of us are grouping together to form a vigilante team of similar age and differing abilities to basically fight crime. There's several costumed criminals out there the police simply cannot handle, and this is where we come in.

Everyone here has a particular ability or specialty. Beastboy has the ability to transform himself into any beast or bird he sees. Useful for strength, flight, speed or just getting into places the rest of us can't. Cyborg is our electronics and mechanics expert. Both a hobby and a necessity with him. I personally do not have powers, but I'm the only one with experience in this field. So I'm hoping that agility, speed and brainpower make up for that. I'm sorry for hitting you…or trying to anyway.

You have abilities that can be used to help. So, as team leader, I'm offering you a place in the group."

I was…surprised I guess. Nobody had ever offered me a place anywhere. Doubt shoved through, screaming to be heard. They wanted my power, not me. I was a package deal. Why stay here when I was meant to be alone? I'd hurt them. They'd hate me. I couldn't fight crime. I'd fail. Knowledge and Bravery whispered beneath Doubt's ravings. These people were outcasts like me, maybe I could do something good. Maybe they could be friends. I needed a place to stay. I just could not answer, it was too hard. So I asked the only question I could think of.

"What could I expect?"

He raised his eyebrows (or just made his mask wider). "Expect? The unexpected. These guys are power hungry, crazed r ruthlessly intelligent. They will steal, blackmail, kidnap…maybe even kill to get what they want. They do not care about anyone but themselves and even if they're in a group or gang, they will ditch them as quick as you can blink to save their own skins. If you choose to fight, as an individual you'd be out there night or day, rain or shine, staying out for as long as it takes to take them out. You will have to face injuries, strains, exhaustion and frustration, alone or as a group. You'll have to make tough decisions and major sacrifices to save strangers who probably don't care, but it's the price you pay. Sometimes you get them once, other times they'll escape and you have to do the whole things over again. It's hard, but they'll always be some surprises.

As for here? Well, there's a gym for weightlifting, martial arts, that sort of thing. You have the opportunity to work on your powers or work out on your own but there will also be group workouts whenever we can schedule them. These would develop trust between each other, to learn exactly what each of us can do, so we can know when someone needs help, or when we need to back off. Cyborg is currently working on an obstacle course for these sessions, and there will be times when we need to destroy an obstacle to save a life, but try not to do it often. We can't afford to waste a lot of time repairing it. If you practice alone…phasing to the Finish line doesn't count as a practice (I think I blushed because I definitely heard something smash. He never even flinched). Any time we are not working as a group inside the Tower or out is yours to spend as you wish. You can visit the city as long as someone knows where you're going. We don't want to have to search every time we need you. Cyborg is trying to develop a tracking and communications device for everyone, but I'd like to create a prototype before he has a chance."

He paused, obviously awaiting a response. When I made no answer, he continued. "Any decision you make now must be whole-hearted. Any doubts must be sorted now. You can't have them after."

My voice took over before I could do anything. "I'd like to see some more of the city before I make a commitment."

He actually agreed with me! "Work and leisure should be as separate as possible if you can do it. Believe me, once you've been in Beastboy's company for a while, for example, you'll be thankful for a place to retreat to where he can't follow. Unfortunately he's the only one I can spare to guide you everywhere and back. Until everyone's familiar with the city, everyone has to go out in pairs at least."

"Raven," he said as I began walking away. "Never think for a moment that the only thing we want are your powers. They're an asset yes, but you've got something more. You seem determined and dedicated in order to survive on a ship for so long. We do need more members before we start. Three kids aren't enough for the adults we'll have to fight. It's you we want, not what you have."

Although it was obvious that Beastboy was trying, his tour of the city was focused on joke shops and video game stalls. His own jokes and stories became wilder and less funny as the hours passed. I was rather bored and intimidated by most of the places we'd seen. They were so big, bright and crowded. I could see the stares we brought, hear the whispers we triggered. I've since learned not to care but at the start, I really did. I wanted to run, away from the whispers, the stares and especially the shops! But the obligation to spend money continued as I recalled the money that Cyborg had pressed into my hand just before I left in case I saw something. From what I saw, it wasn't about to happen. Beastboy's ramblings died down, as if he sensed I wasn't enjoying myself. He stopped dead in the street, leaving me to walk a few steps alone before I noticed his absence. I turned to see him shuffling his feet, looking at the ground.

"Y'know, if you see a shop you'd like to look at, all you have to do is say so."

I couldn't see one. All of them were crowded, bright, everything I couldn't stand. I preferred the dark and the solitude, but there was nothing…but one. Beastboy became distracted by a new game in one of the shops, but I stayed outside unable to take another game! I longed to hide as I waited outside for him to come out, my shabby cloak was getting far too much attention. I could see a dark alley just across the street from me and did the unthinkable…crossed the street into it. This could easily have been a mistake, but became one of the best decisions ever. A sign to my right attracted my attention. It was chipped, worn and faded. I was unable to make out the words painted across the sign, but I entered the shop.

It was dark and small, frightening for most, oddly comforting to me. Spots in front of my face faded for the second time that day and the true wonder of the shop shone through. Shelves upon shelves of books. A dry, musty smell ebbed from most of them, giving a used homely feel. I breathed in, reminded of the books, scrolls and texts I used to retreat into back at Azarath whenever he was nearby.

"May I help you?" Dust from an old curtain behind the counter gently settled, revealing the hunched, wizened old man. He eyed me with suspicion, his glasses perched on his nose.

"Just looking," I answered quickly, before scanning the shelves, each book sorted in alphabetical order by author. There were some classics, Edgar Allen Poe, Jane Eyre…they were all here. There were some ancient Latin texts, literary gems I had never even heard of plus some texts written with symbols I should never have seen in these books. I pulled a few out, reading the prices, treating the old books with the care they deserved. The old man coughed impatiently, but I was fascinated. How could some of these treasures be so dusty? I would buy only one. Too many could commit me to the team which I wasn't sure about. I couldn't carry very many now. The man gave me a look as I laid my chosen book down and he eyed the title. He couldn't read it, but I could. 'Tales from the Gods of the Grecian Empire.' Greek mythology in a dead language, one I had been forced to learn. I paused, coming to a decision before disappearing into the shelves and returning with an old horror story, its title faded, the leather binding worn. I handed over the money, holding the writings to me, feeling at home at last.

I tried returning the change to Cyborg but he refused it. He had plenty to spare he said, which confused me greatly. Needing a quiet corner, I went up to the roof needing to calm down, to talk to each side to decide my fate. They gathered, each taking a turn. Knowledge was practical. I needed a place to stay and I was being offered one. Happy was full of possibilities about the chance of friendship and fun in the team. I'd never be alone again. Besides, the green one was funny. Bravery was all for staying…but she just wanted to fight bad guys (in not so polite terms), Timid shocked me by actually stepping forward and telling me that with my own space, I'd have more chances to talk to them. Doubt and Fear refused to listen, flinging up all the old points of before. To my utter amazement, I countered them all. Anger shoved to be heard, but I pushed her back.

"You want to stay, don't you?" came Knowledge's calm and practical voice.

I ignored her. I hated it every time she was right, which was pretty often. I decided to leave it to fate. If I was offered the place again, with something that would connect me to the rest of them, I'd stay. No more, no less.

My ears snapped open, lungs filling with air. The sun was setting on the horizon. Bathing the water in a gentle golden glow.

"You decided yet?"

I jumped, hood flapping backwards, cloak tearing. Robin leaned against the wall, arms crossed, one foot against the steelworks. His head was bowed, not even looking at me, but he seemed to know I was watching him. I didn't reply. My mouth wasn't working as I tried to figure out how a guy in steel tipped boots was able to move so quietly on a steel and concrete floor! Sighing quietly, I made Knowledge back off. Now was not the time!

"Beastboy seemed to have a good day out. Did you?"

I shrugged, remembering the books, and a question I had to ask.

"How can you afford…all this?" I waved my arm at the building I entered, emphasising my point.

"We can't. We have…an anonymous sponsor."

There was something he wasn't telling, but I didn't push it. He had his secrets, I had mine. I never noticed that I was walking down the steps and I didn't register where I was going, but the space opened out and I was startled to find myself walking into the living area again, making a light bulb blow. Cyborg was near the wall, working on the security systems wired into the mainframe of the Tower's structure. Beastboy was…in the centre of the room with one of my books! His face was screwed up in concentration as he struggled to read the ancient language. I resisted the urge to snatch the book from him…I had too much respect for the book! I was impressed by the sheer enormity of the building, but I couldn't understand what the sponsor…well, sponsored! I did the thing I hate doing…I asked.

It was Cyborg who answered. "We're sent money every month. Quarter of it pays for food and clothing. Another quarter goes to maintain the Tower…well, the building at least. That means the roof, the piping, the plaster and paint…whatever's needed. A third quarter maintains the electronic equipment in the Tower. The computers, my circuits and any little gadgety things Robin wants to make. Last quarter is pocket money. It's your own responsibility but be warned. Don't ever, EVER lend Beastboy anything. You'll never see it again!"

"Hey!" the subject of our discussion bristled with indignation.

"Why clothing?" I queried. Each of them seemed to have their own uniform.

"You need several costumes in this business. They get torn, burned or just plain dirty. Besides, you need some civilian clothing to hide in a crowd on any days you want to go out. We will attract attention in what we do and sometimes, you don't want it especially when you're trying to have fun."

"How can you read this? It doesn't make any sense!" Beastboy's anger and frustration got the better of him as he threw the book to one side. It hit Robin. The green boy flushed as his leader merely rubbed his head a bit before lifting the book and flicking a few pages. His face slowly spread into a broad grin.

"Titans," he muttered excitedly, slamming the book shut and coughing as dust flew everywhere. Was there no respect for the written word? He tossed the book to me, staggering a little as he ran out of the room. I stared after him.

"Normal behaviour," Cyborg reassured me, giving a shrug. "So, you joining?"

I nodded before I could stop myself. I understood that this was something I wanted, even before I was aware of it myself. Even before I had any clue of what I was about to let myself in for. My mind screamed that I could be making a mistake, but my heart was at peace. This was the right decision. I stifled a yawn. Cyborg noticed, even when he was lifting something heavy. It looked like part of the wall. He set it back down and beckoned as he started walking down the corridor. Lifting my other book from the table, Beastboy looked at the author's name, opened it and shivered.

"Edgar Allen Poe? Creepy picture."

"Great writer," I answered, simply.

"How would you know? You've never been here before!"

"You'd be surprised by what I know." Taking the book, I sped off down the same corridor as Cyborg, searching for him. He stood a few feet from me over at one side, just waiting by a door.

"This can be your room. Everyone has their own. It's your own space to do with as you wish. This keypad," he indicated the small device, "is a lock which will be activated to your own personal code. Just make sure you record it both inside and outside your room in case you forget it." He punched in a code and the door opened.

I threw an arm in front of my face. "It's white!" I hissed through gritted teeth.

He laughed. "I know. It's annoying, but there's paint and material downstairs to decorate this whatever way you want." He hesitated, before ploughing on with the subtly of a brick. "There's also clothing material as well for your costume. Whatever you make, ensure that you can move in it and that it's durable."

I stepped into the room, exhausted and blinded.

"Goodnight," Cyborg said quietly. "Whenever you want to leave in the morning, just type 0000 into the keypad. It's a default code until I can teach you to create a personalised one."

The door shut, leaving darkness and exhaustion. My feet seemed many miles away as I trudged to the makeshift wardrobe at one side. Carefully and gently, I hung up my cloak, noting the patches and thinned areas. No wonder people had stared. With regret I knew it had seen it's day. With a new life, I would now need new clothes.

Completely shattered, I lay back on the bed, ready for sleep. Though it was white, it was comfortable. I would have to redecorate tomorrow, but for now I needed rest. A memory came to mind as I lay, half sleeping. A sphere, it's beauty unblemished and indescribable, shimmering with untold life, hope and endless possibilities.

"Blue," I thought. "It'll be blue."

Days started to gallop past as many things started to shape our lives, even before we started working. I created my familiar black and blue costume. My room stopped being white. We met Starfire, the complete opposite of me but the toughest fighter I've ever known. The tower was completed. I was taught to use the computers and understand what the medical readings were saying. Cyborg discovered a chest of books in my ship when he began taking it apart for materials. Beastboy was flung out of a window for the first time. I discovered herbal tea. We started to practice, and to work together as a team. We learned exactly what everyone else could do, realising each could hold their own and learning when someone needed help without asking for it. We could work and live together. We had become more than just team mates and roommates. We were friends.

I'll never forget when Robin had finished the communication and tracking devices. He gave each person one, warning them to take care of it, never telling us he had more (until Beastboy broke his after another trip out of the window). I examined how it worked, tracing the white 'T' across the surface. Robin launched himself at the computer, showing everyone how to check where everyone was, teaching us to turn them on and off respectively, excitement radiating from every pore.

"T?" I asked.

"T," he confirmed. "It was your book that gave me the idea. From here on, we are the Teen Titans."

I never meant to stay as long as I have and despite my secrets, I've found a place. On the team, in the city, on this planet. I was comfortable. Far too comfortable as it turned out just a few weeks ago.

A/N

Ooops. I have just realised several things.

1) My first fanfic has been going on over a year! Thanks to everyone who still reads it! I've really got to get a move on.

2) My GCSE results are out in a week. (runs round screaming) For those who don't understand the importance of this, I need certain results to get back into my current school.

Anyway, onto the reviews and thanks for holding on for so long. Hope the summer has been going really well so far!

AntimatterManticore- Don't panic about having sympathy for fictional characters. I do it all the time. I even shout at their stupidity.

kittykat- Thanks. I really hope you keep reading.