A Ghost Story

Chapter 7

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. All rights to the story and movie 'The Ghost and Mrs. Muir' belong to Twentieth Century Fox Incorporated.

Spoilers: Any JAG episode up through Season 10. The movie 'The Ghost and Mrs. Muir' will be loosely referred to.

A/N Many thanks to Aerogril for her beta reading.

0415

Wednesday

February 28, 2001

Mac's apartment

North of Union Station

Mac lay sleeping, languorously spread out on the bed. The love she had made with Harm in her dreams left her sated and had pushed her deeper into slumber. Harm hovered above her. He knew he had to leave her and convince her in this dream that this was all he had ever been. A dream. He came closer to her, his lips just inches above hers, and when he spoke her name, she raised herself slightly from her pillow, her lips searching for his.

The pain Harm felt inside made him want to cry out. What a cruel twist of fate. How could he have just missed her, this love that he had wanted all his life? He reflexively reached to touch her, and then stopped himself; his touch would be cold to her now. Nothing like what they felt…in her dreams. This could not go on, this wall of reality between them; he had to go, this time forever.

"Mac, I have to leave you now."

Mac frowned in her sleep.

"You're a beautiful and desirable woman. You deserve a full life, and no matter what I feel for you, I'll never be able to give you that. Staying near you in whatever form would only confuse you further." He looked at her face, trying to memorize every detail.

"Soon I'll just be a dream to you. Harmon Rabb Jr. will be a faded memory of a man you had only heard of but had never known." He drifted back from her.

"Just don't forget what real love is, Mac. Remember that you deserve it all – love, respect, everything. Don't settle for anything less."

As he moved further away from her, he turned to look at her again. "I wish I could have taken you flying, Mac. I wish we could have worked together at JAG. We would have made a beautiful team. I've missed so much, Sarah… we both missed so much."

Though he knew he had to leave her in this lifetime, he believed they would be together somehow. He knew it, deep in his soul.

He would wait…as long as it took.

1030

Saturday

May 17, 2016

Rock Creek Park

Washington D.C.

Mac ran along the familiar trail and as she approached her car she noticed a young woman standing near it. It was Chloe.

"Mac!" The beautiful and composed young woman standing near Mac's car, looking for her, suddenly broke into a run as soon as she saw Mac.

Mac couldn't keep from laughing at the sight of her and from the pure joy of seeing her. Chloe had truly made her life complete.

"Hey, sweetie! What are you doing here? I mean, I didn't know you were coming – I didn't expect to see you until next week." Chloe launched herself into her arms, oblivious to Mac's sweat-covered clothing.

"I know, but I couldn't wait. I have someone I want you to meet and he won't be available next week." She nodded toward her car, parked about 20 yards away from them.

Mac opened her car door and grabbed a towel, dabbing at her face and neck. "I look awful, Chloe. I'm afraid I won't make a good first impression."

"Oh, he's already seen you, in pictures, so he knows how 'gorgeous' you are."

Chloe rolled her eyes like the 13-year-old she used to be. A part of her would always be that little girl to Mac.

Chloe took her elbow and guided her toward her car. A tall and handsome young man emerged from it, wearing a naval uniform. Just like the man in the portrait she had never been able to part with, the portrait of the former owner of her apartment. This young man was blond and his green eyes could be seen plainly from where she and Chloe stood.

Chloe was nearly bouncing with excitement. She was so glad to introduce her 'companion' to her oldest and dearest 'big sister.'

"Lieutenant Commander Thomas Davis, this is my big sister, Major General Sarah Mackenzie."

The young man nodded. "Ma'am."

She offered her hand and he shook it. "It's a pleasure to meet you, young man."

She could just kill Chloe for bringing him here. She looked terrible. "Please excuse my appearance. Chloe, as always, likes to surprise me." She gave her 'little sister' a sidelong glance.

"Would you like to come to the apartment? I can at least offer you two a cup of coffee." Mac suggested, trying to remember her manners.

"That sounds great, Mac." Chloe hugged her as though she had just told her she won the lottery. What was she up to?

Chloe looked at Tom. "Do you mind following us, Tom? I'd like a little girl talk before we get to the apartment."

Tom nodded his acquiescence and looked at Chloe as though he were worried about something.

Mac caught the look and decided that she would get to the bottom of this as soon as they got in the car.

Enroute to Mac's apartment…

Mac glanced at Chloe as she left the park. "Okay, young lady, what's going on?"

"Well, I wanted a chance to tell you, when it was just you and I. I'm engaged!" Chloe was glowing with happiness, and suddenly everything made sense.

"When…when will you be married?" No wonder the poor young man was giving Chloe such a worried look. She was about to tell her 'sister,' the Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy, that she was going to get married …to him, a lowly lieutenant commander.

Mac did feel sorry for him. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Well, tomorrow, actually." Chloe's smile was mischievous.

"Why the hurry?" Mac had been looking forward to helping her plan her wedding, maybe even to being her maid of honor. Mac sighed and thought 'always the bridesmaid, never the bride.'

As Chloe chattered on about her new fiancé, Mac's mind returned to her broken engagement to Mic. She had never set a date with him. Something in his behavior back then had kept setting off alarms in her head. He wasn't 'the' one. She had ended it and she did not regret it.

"Mac?"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I was lost in thought."

"Were you thinking about Mic?" Chloe was perceptive as ever.

"Yes, I was."

"I'm glad you didn't marry him."

"I know I made the right decision. You know, I ran into him at a reception at the Australian Embassy a couple of years ago. He had gained about 40 pounds and was beginning to lose his hair. He was showing off pictures of his family. He had six kids and they all looked just like him."

Mac had felt sorry for his wife, though she never met her. All she could think about when she saw her in the group picture with her family, is that the woman looked faded and tired. Mac had been convinced not long after she had broken their engagement that the longer she was in a relationship with Mic, the more she would have lost her sense of herself completely.

"I never really liked him. I just went along because I thought it was what you wanted."

"Well, it's in the past, so you have nothing to worry about, and you never answered me about why the rush to get married."

"It's not really a rush; we've known each other for years. I met him when he was defending a case that I was prosecuting." Chloe had been practicing law for five years, in a civilian court. She had not followed Mac into the military but she had followed her into law.

"We just decided this is what we want and we're going to do it now. He has orders to London; I'll join him there later in the year when I can make some kind of realistic plan to continue doing what I want to do, as far as my career is concerned."

"So you met…arguing a case against each other?" Why hadn't she heard of him before? she wondered.

"Yeah…he drives me crazy…but he won't let me get by with anything." Chloe smiled secretly. "He loves me, Mac." She looked at Mac, her eyes filled with amazement at her own statement. Her happiness was palpable and infectious.

Mac felt such a sense of relief at those words. This was what she wanted for Chloe. If she had true love, she had it all.

She reached across the console and took Chloe's hand and squeezed it. "I'm so glad, honey."

"What about you, Mac? Aren't you ever going to get married?" Chloe's expression was filled with concern. "I don't like to think of you as being alone."

"I'm not alone, Chloe. I have my friends here in Washington. I have you. I have a wonderful job at JAG; being Judge Advocate General is pretty impressive…don't you think?"

"Yes, but I always imagined you with someone…like the guy in the portrait in your apartment. What was his name?"

"His name was Harmon Rabb Jr. He was a lieutenant commander, like your fiancé."

"I used to dream of him sometimes when I would spend the weekend with you."

Mac looked at her, questioning.

"Oh, I just talked to him in my dreams, about you mostly. He listened to me whine when you wouldn't let me have something I wanted. Or if I thought you were being unreasonable about something. He really got an earful when you were engaged to Mic."

Mac looked at her, almost incredulous.

"You dreamt of Commander Rabb?" Chloe's face lit with amusement.

"Sometimes, I dreamed of my idea of him. But he wasn't real, Chloe – he was just a dream."

"Oh, I know that, but I can't say he didn't influence my choice in my fiancé. The first time I saw Tom in uniform, I think I was smitten."

Mac smiled at her warmly. She'd had those thoughts too, when she looked at the portrait in her apartment. How she wished he were real.

2135

Friday

November 4, 2031

Mac's apartment

North of Union Station

Rear Admiral 'Bud' Roberts unlocked the door for General Sarah Mackenzie. Mac walked into her apartment wordlessly. She had just left her retirement party and Bud was kind enough to see that she got home.

"Bud, I don't know why you had to insist on this. I was fine, I could have driven myself."

Bud had witnessed his former mentor and commanding officer place her hand over her heart. He had seen the color leave her face. Mac had always been the picture of health; he had never seen her waver, in anything, ever. Today and tonight it seemed as though she wasn't herself at all.

"Are you sure you're alright, ma'am?" He wished she would lean on someone, just once.

"Bud, when are you ever going to call me Mac?" She was irritated; she didn't like being hovered over. When would Bud ever relax? He kept looking at her as if he expected her to explode.

"I told you, I'm fine!" She knew she was being sharp with him and she already regretted it.

"AJ and I will bring your car over in the morning…Mac." Bud had dropped the 'little' in front of AJ when he entered grade school.

"You will not. Chloe and Tom are coming tomorrow, first thing. They can do it. I've already imposed on you enough." They were bringing all three of their children. She would have a full day tomorrow.

"Its no imposition, ma'am." Bud caught himself. "I'm sorry…Mac."

Mac turned to look at Bud; he looked as uncomfortable and nervous as he had as a lieutenant, so long ago. Somehow that would always be endearing to her.

"Bud…I'm sorry. Look, just go home; Harriet is probably waiting for you. I appreciate your concern, but I really am fine." She smiled at him, hoping he would be reassured and do as she asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Bud started to say something then he decided he would just leave her in peace. He intended to call first thing in the morning, though. He had the feeling that this might not be the first time the general had experienced chest pain. He would call Chloe while she was there tomorrow, even if he got his butt chewed out. It wouldn't be the first time she dressed him down, so why should it stop just because she had retired?

She stepped up into her bedroom and removed the jacket to her dress uniform, placing it on a hangar. She turned to look at her 'commander,' his smile as magnetic as it had ever been to her. She shook her head and thought aloud… "dreams."

She showered and changed into her favorite pajamas and settled into bed. She reached for the book on her bedside table and opened it to her favorite passage in the old and tattered classic, 'Jane Eyre.'

"It is my spirit that addresses your spirit, just as if both had passed through the grave and we stood at God's feet equal – as we are!"

She read it aloud, to no one, the sound of her own voice echoing off of the walls. Love and destiny: she hadn't experienced it in this life, but she still believed in it with all her heart. She had had a good life so far. A life filled with friends, Chloe and her family, and a great career. She chuckled softly; maybe she would find real love in another life. While it was true that she was alone, she didn't feel lonely just now.

As she reached up to turn the page, she felt a sharp pain shoot up her arm, into her neck and then to her chest. Before she had a chance to comprehend what was happening, her heart arrested and she died…alone. She dropped her book in her lap and it fell to the floor, still open to the passage she had been reading.

Mac felt her spirit leave her body and suddenly felt renewed and as strong as she had ever been. She looked up and saw him. Harm was waiting for her; she now remembered everything that had faded in her memory. This was her love, it was Harm. She had missed having him in her life before, but she would not miss him in the one that she had just entered.

He smiled at her and reached for her hand. She took it, and he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. When he looked into her eyes, their connection was immediate. She was home. She stepped into his arms, and they left that place, the place where they had always been separated by time and space.

2320

Tuesday

January 20, 2003

Mac's apartment

Georgetown

Mac woke suddenly, covered in sweat and feeling tears streaking down her face. She sat up immediately and looked around the room. She blinked, trying to comprehend where she was and to clear her mind. It was her apartment: the pale yellow walls trimmed with white, the fireplace, the rich tapestry pillows in all shades of green and brown.

What was happening?

She looked at her television and saw the DVD icon floating around the screen. Mac had fallen asleep watching a movie. Trying to calm herself, she told herself she had been dreaming, but it seemed so real. She stood and walked on wobbly legs to the kitchen and as she passed her telephone she said aloud. "Harm."

There was still Harm; she had to hear his voice.

Their last conversation came back to her clearly as she punched the familiar number. She was furious as she left the office earlier that night; she had been duped by Lieutenant Jeremy Duncan. She had worked hard to make his discharge possible and had actually thanked him for 'blowing the whistle' on a company that could get her fellow Marines killed. It had all been a sham, a way to rob the technology from the original creator and make himself and a company called Psycoustics rich.

Harm had tried to calm her, and asked to make her dinner or take her out that evening. She had brushed him off without a thought. "Please be there, Harm." It seemed as though it had been so long since she talked to him.

He picked up on the 5th ring. "Rabb."

Mac nearly cried when she heard his voice; her dream was still with her.

"Harm?" Her voice broke with emotion.

"Mac? What is it?" He knew he should have insisted that he make her dinner tonight. She was letting this case get under her skin, and that wasn't like her. She was the one with the dispassionate plan, while he was the one who had the reputation for being a loose cannon.

"I...I know it's late, but can I see you? Can you come over?" The emotion was still evident in her voice.

Harm answered without hesitation. "I'll be right there."

25 minutes later…

Mac stood in her kitchen, leaning against the counter; she had showered and dressed again. As she sipped her tea she tried to rein in her thoughts and think of what she would say. She owed him some kind of explanation; she must have sounded like an emotional wreck on the phone. Still, she couldn't wait to see him, to touch him and feel his skin warm under her hands. How could she do it and not be obvious…she didn't want to scare him. They hadn't gone near each other in months, not since Bud's accident. She didn't think she could stand it if he left her tonight, without knowing…without knowing…what?

Mac knew what she felt for Harm in her dream. She could never forget the love, the trust and the solid strength of his heart as well as his body. She wanted those things now; she didn't want to wait anymore. But how to tell him when there seemed to be such a gulf between them now? And what if this was just a dream, what if those feelings were never meant to exist between them?

Outside Mac's apartment building…

Harm pulled into his parking space. He had no idea what to expect when he walked into Mac's apartment tonight. To say she had been behaving strangely would be an understatement, but so had he. Every time he'd looked at her after she mentioned little AJ's birthday, he saw her pregnant, hugely pregnant. He kept blinking, trying to clear his vision; Mac must have thought he'd lost his mind. She had said it was AJ's fifth birthday when in fact it was his fourth. He was thinking she might want to move up the date. How would he handle it if she did?

Harm took his keys out of the ignition and got out of his SUV. As he walked toward her apartment he tossed his keys in the air and as he caught them, a terrible thought occurred to him.

He stopped walking and thought, 'What if she wants to call the baby deal off?'

Maybe that was why she was so upset. He looked up at the light in her living room window. He swallowed hard and decided to face whatever it was. Mac said she needed to see him, and no matter what she had to say, he was her friend, first and foremost.

Harm knocked on her door and waited for his fate.

Mac heard the knock and walked toward the door, straightening her sweater and smoothing her jeans. When she opened it, seeing Harm hit her full force, and she could do nothing but throw her self into his arms. "Harm... Oh God…it's you."

Mac loved the solid feel of him as he closed his arms around her. "Mac?"

"I'm okay, Harm…just give me a minute." She never wanted to let him go.

She didn't let go and he walked her into her apartment, kicking the door closed with his foot.

Harm wasn't sure what was going on but he was sure now that she wasn't canceling out their baby deal. Feeling more relief than he thought he would, he stroked her back and tried to calm her. He could feel her heart racing against his chest. She had been very closed to him for the last couple of weeks; he'd been afraid that she'd finally had it with him. Mac contradicted his fears as she brushed her cheek against his and said his name again. When he looked into her eyes and saw the tears welling there, he asked again.

"Mac, tell me what's going on."

She shook her head slightly. It was too crazy to explain: she had fallen asleep watching an old movie had a terrible nightmare and now…she couldn't hold back anymore. It sounded insane, even to her. How could she explain it in a way he would understand and believe? She loved him and she didn't want to waste any more time.

"Harm, I…"

She looked into his eyes again, seeing the green and the blue, and remembered seeing them glow with passion for her. She looked down at his lips; just once she would kiss them, and then she would know whether or not what she was feeling now was just the remnants of a dream. She touched his lower lip lightly with hers, and he opened his mouth. As she tasted his full upper lip, he took her mouth with the passion she had prayed was there.

Harm could not keep the sound of pleasure from escaping as she responded to his deeper kiss. She was giving herself over to him and he was feeling things he had long put away, thinking she wasn't ready, thinking they had time. The sounds of approval he made seemed to make her bolder, making her delve deeper and cling to him more tightly. God, if he didn't stop her, this wouldn't end with a kiss. He pulled her back from him by her arms.

"Mac…" He tried to catch his breath. "What is..."

Mac didn't want to talk. She felt as though she were back in her dream. It was still there, the feeling of love and undeniable passion between them. She silenced him with a kiss, and he pulled her against him again, unable to resist her.

Before his control completely snapped he walked her backward and gently pushed her back until she sat on the sofa. He sat down next to her, slipping his arm around her and on the back of the couch. "Mac…tell me."

"I can't…I can't explain it. You'll think I'm crazy." She looked at him, trying to assess his reaction to what she was saying.

"I'm not going to think you're crazy. You wouldn't believe what I've been…." Harm thought of how it would be to tell her he had been seeing her pregnant with his child every time he looked at her today.

She leaned against him and looked into his eyes. "What?"

"I'm not going to think you're crazy Mac." He would table that discussion for another time.

She reached up to stroke his cheek with the tips of her fingers and then his hair. The feel of his short hair softly brushing between long her fingers sent shivers up her arm and down her back. "Oh…it just…it feels so good to touch you. You're so… real."

Harm gave her a sly grin. "Mac… you have no idea… how real I'm getting." She was driving him crazy with everything she was doing. "But you have to tell me what has you so upset. And as much as I love having you near me like this, I need to know what brought this on."

"I had a nightmare…you know, one of those that you have trouble believing didn't really happen?" She looked up at him warily, waiting for him to dismiss her feelings about it.

Harm nodded. "I've had a few of those. It must have been a bad one. Was it about the case? Are you upset because the admiral ordered that I assist you with it?"

"No, and it has nothing to do with the case." She looked into his eyes. "It has to do with us."

Harm waited for her to continue.

"I dreamed that we missed each other… that we had never met. I lived my whole life and never found…love…or anything, because I…because you were…you died before I met you." She pressed her lips together, her chin trembling slightly.

"What?" No wonder she was so emotional when she answered the door.

"I know it's off the wall, but for a few moments when I woke up, I believed it. For a while I knew what it was to have never had you in my life at all. It was terrible. I only had the dream of you, not the reality."

She hugged him close, burying her face in the fabric of his soft sweater, his clean scent of soap and aftershave filling her senses and reassuring her that he was real and he was with her.

"So…does this mean you don't want to dream anymore?" Harm raised his eyebrows, his heart beat accelerating in anticipation of her answer.

Mac lifted her head from his chest and looked at him, trying to convey all the love she had kept locked in her heart. "No, I don't want to dream anymore…I love you, Harm."

Harm was stunned. He would have settled for the first part of that statement, but when she said she loved him, he was speechless. Looking down at her intently he traced the line of her cheekbone down to her jaw line. He tipped her chin slightly and drew her closer to him, his lips just a breath away from hers. "I love you."

Mac drew in a breath; his answer had been hoped for, but not expected. "Harm." She kissed him and she felt him let go, of everything… but her.

0530

Wednesday

January 21, 2003

Mac's apartment

Georgetown

Mac slipped deeper under the coverlet and stretched. Her body felt loose and completely relaxed. She smiled as she remembered Harm last night. The solid wall he had built around him came down and his thoughts and emotions all poured out. He had told her everything. Every time he wanted her, what he felt when he was trying to stay alive while he was adrift in the Atlantic, that he had loved her for a long time. He had opened his heart and pushed her body to the limit. He was all she had dreamed of.

She straightened her arm, reaching for him, trying to find that warmth that was now Harm for her. His side of the bed was empty. She raised her head suddenly.

"Harm?"

She couldn't have dreamed this, she thought. Just as she started to panic, she heard the sound of dishes being laid on the table from the kitchen and her eyes came to rest on his leather jacket draped on the chair by the door. He was still here. She exhaled, and just as she started to get up, Harm stepped into her bedroom.

"Hey." He was wrapped in a towel and grinning at her mischievously.

"Hey yourself." She sat back and just looked at him. He did a lot for his uniform and a pair of jeans…but she decided that the towel was her favorite.

He lifted up a small flat box that he had in his hand. "What is this?"

He had the cover of the DVD she watched before she fell asleep.

"It's an old movie, a classic. You probably wouldn't be interested; there are no aircraft of any kind in it."

He looked at the cover and cocked a brow. "I don't know. I might be, if you watch with me."

"You might be at that. It is about a sailor…or seaman." She gave him a sly grin. "It's about an old man of the sea."

"The Ghost and Mrs. Muir?" He knitted his brow and grinned at her.

"It's just an old ghost story, Harm."

FIN

Epilogue

0930

Tuesday

May 6, 2003

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Admiral AJ Chegwidden pulled his blinds further apart as he looked out into the courtyard. He watched as Clayton Webb walked out to his car in the lot just beyond the courtyard.

He had come to ask the assistance of Colonel Mackenzie in an operation he was planning. He'd said he needed her language skills and he needed her to pose as his 'pregnant' wife. The admiral knew something wasn't ringing true about what Webb was saying to him. He stopped trusting him a long time ago.

There wasn't any need to analyze the situation anyway, since Mac was not available. The former Colonel Mackenzie, now Colonel Rabb, was on her honeymoon. She would be gone another three weeks. She would be transferring to the judiciary upon her return, so Webb would certainly have no access to her then.

The Commander and the Colonel's more 'intimate' relationship had totally blindsided him. He had nearly given up on them both. What had Rabb finally done to move that forward? He wondered, thinking that surely Mac wasn't so grateful for his assistance on the Duncan case that she threw herself into his arms. Chuckling to himself, he decided that he would probably never figure it out and frankly he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He had had to scramble to get a couple of attorneys to cover both Commander and Colonel Rabb for a month. They both had a lot of leave on the books, and to be honest, for the gift of finally having some semblance of peace in this office, he would have moved heaven and earth.

He watched as Webb opened his car door and looked back up toward his office. As AJ watched him get in his car and drive away, the question came to him.

Why did he have the feeling that his senior attorneys had just dodged a very large bullet?

FIN

A/N: For those of you who know…this did not end exactly as the movie did. I was going to leave it at that, but I just couldn't do it. For those of you who are purists, I apologize, to my fellow shippers, here's another one. LOL

A/N: I know… this was way out there. I know I went off the deep end with Bronte's 'Jane Eyre' quote but I couldn't help myself. It was another of those passages that will probably stay with me when I can't remember my own name. (smile)